Let Me Be Your Downfall
by kamers
Summary: MWPPL with OC. It seems everyone finds something different in Hogwarts: a best friend, an enemy, a fiance, or just memories. It's what you do with them that shows what you've really learned.
1. Hey There, Delilah

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Hey There, Delilah" is by Plain White T's and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter One: Hey There, Delilah**

_Our friends would all make fun of us  
And we'll just laugh along because we know  
That none of them have felt this way…  
Oh, it's what you do to me_

Lily Evans lightly tugged at her ear, looking down the long aisle that led to the door of the compartment she and her friends claimed as their own what felt like a lifetime ago. With a light sigh, she forced herself down to said compartment, her Head Girl badge gleaming on her black robes.

Normally Lily was just as excited to go to Hogwarts, the school her family - sans her sister, Petunia - were so proud of her for being accepted into, as any other witch or wizard her age. However, this was the beginning of the end of an era and she wasn't completely sure if she was ready to plunge in headfirst. There had been so many good memories and she honestly didn't know if she wanted to let go.

'_That's the thing about growing up_,' she thought to herself as she stood in front of the compartment door. '_You don't get any say in it_.'

"Hey, Lily, what's with the long face?" came a voice behind her, literally shocking her out of her thoughts.

"Bugger, Potter," Lily replied reproachfully, quickly trying to recompose herself and ignore the looks some nearby first years were giving the two of them.

"Oh, bloody, I'm sorry," James Potter quickly apologized, hoping that he hadn't peeved her off too badly. "I didn't mean to scare me."

"You didn't scare me," Lily lied forcefully, readjusting her bag on her shoulder and pretending to be unaffected by the situation.

The two seventeen-year-olds stood stock-still and stared at each other. Lily took in the fact that over the summer James had traded his usual silver frames in for brown, square ones and had allowed his hair to grow out more, ever enhancing his usual messy look. James, on the other hand, couldn't get over the fact that the butterflies were still in his stomach, ever since he had first laid eyes on the red haired, green eyed, Lily Evans.

Lily cleared her throat, incredibly uncomfortable due to the silence. "Yes, well, I see that you made Head Boy, too."

"You made Head Boy?" James asked jokingly, hoping to be the source of a smile on his long-time crush's lips.

Lily, however, was not amused. "You know what I mean. What I'm trying to get at, though, is that I figure we need to get along this year if everything is going to be run smoothly, if you know what I mean. I'm sure it would be difficult otherwise."

James didn't bother to mention that he had been trying fruitlessly for the past six years to be on comfortable terms with Lily but was unable to ignore the stomach flip that occupied his abdominal region when she said that. "Okay."

"Great," Lily responded, quickly becoming aware of how uncomfortable the air was within a four-foot radius of where they were standing. "Well, I'll see you around, then."

"Sure thing, Evans," said James as Lily quickly pushed open the door to the solace that was the small compartment her friends already inhabited.

She was welcomed by a voice that was obviously trying to mock their Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall from "Miss Evans, did I just spy a flash of a certain James Potter out there?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Lily replied to her best-friend-since-their-first-ride-to-Hogwarts, Jamie Williams, not trying to mask the annoyance in her voice. "I'm hoping that having him be the first person I've talked to this school year isn't a foreshadowing of the year to come."

"Now, honestly, Lily," Jamie said, "he's my cousin."

"I am well aware of that fact," Lily said, seating herself across from Jamie in the near empty compartment. "I am also well aware of the fact that he's an insufferable git."

"Moving on," Jamie dismissed, waving her hand, "notice anything different about me?"

Lily allowed her eyes to sweep her best friend, from her dark brown waves, olive green eyes, and freckled face to the long scar that peaked out from underneath her jean skirt, as she had yet to change into her Hogwarts uniform. "No, can't say I do," Lily shrugged.

Jamie released a heavy sigh, demonstrating her annoyance. "Really, Lily. I got my lip pierced when we were visiting my mum's mate that lives in the States."

"What?" Lily's eyes widened and quickly shot to the said piercing. "Oh, Jamie, that's disgusting."

"I happen to think it fits me," Jamie replied, playing with the ring temporarily, then dropping her hand as the compartment door slid open. "But, I knew you'd hate it. That's why I didn't owl you for your opinion."

"Lily's opinion never matters," Lauren Scott joked, taking a seat next to Jamie.

"It's true," Daphne Scott, Lauren's younger sister by a year, agreed.

"Daph, shut it," Lauren reprimanded, obviously showing a smidgen of annoyance at her sister's presence.

Noticing it, one of Daphne's eyebrows shot up. "Well, then, I see when I'm not wanted. I'm going to go find some of my other, nice, Ravenclaw friends. See you around, Lily and Jamie."

Before Daphne could completely shut the door, it was opened back up again, featuring an exasperated Jaclyn Carter, breathing hard, which showed how much of a hurry she had been in. "Almost missed the train - again."

"Well, you were six for six, weren't you?" Jamie pointed out to Jaclyn, who was also her cousin on top of James, only on the opposite side of the family. "Wouldn't want you to break such a lovely streak, am I right?"

Jaclyn shot Jamie a look, then sat herself beside Lily. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she looked at Lauren. "Daphne didn't exactly look pleased. What's going on?"

"Oh, don't even get me started," Lauren groaned, throwing up her hands in frustration. "As you guys know, my parents decided that it would be a good idea to split on each other while we were away at school. We have to stay with my mum because of some daft custody issue, but my mum couldn't afford any kind of decent housing, so we live in a far too small flat with two bedrooms - one of which I share with Daphne."

"You mentioned that in an owl at the beginning of the summer," Lily pointed out. "But, everything was keen then, right?"

"Right," Lauren agreed. "However, two months in a small room with my sister? Let's just say I'm more than glad that she's a Ravenclaw and I'm a Gryffindor."

"I, for one, can say that I'm more than happy being the spoiled only child," Jamie grinned, putting her hands behind her head.

"Shut it," the other three girls spat, glaring at her.

"Besides," Lily pushed on as the train began to move and looking at Jamie, "you're basically related to everyone else, so it'd be a shame to add siblings onto there."

"Is it my fault I'm pure-blood?" Jamie demanded. "Honestly, it bugs me from time to time as well."

"Are you related to Remus?" Lauren asked with a twinkle in her eye. "That could get weird."

"Besides the fact Remus isn't a pure-blood, no, I'm not related to Remus," Jamie shot back, rolling her eyes, then recovering. "Speaking of, have any of you seen him?"

After Lily and Lauren shook their heads showing they hadn't, Jaclyn nodded with a sigh. "Yeah, he was running onto the train as I was loading my trunk."

"Remus Lupin late?" Lily gasped, feigning immense shock. "I can hardly believe it."

Right on cue, there was a knock on the compartment door and there stood Remus. He had an apologetic look on his face, which was quickly replaced with a wide grin when he made eye contact with Jamie. "Hi," he greeted simply.

"Hi," Jamie replied, returning his grin.

"Damn, should we leave you two alone?" Lauren commented. "I feel kind of frightened just being between the two of you."

"Oh, please," Jamie said, hoping that her face wasn't turning as red as she envisioned it and violently pushing Lauren over to make room for Remus to sit next to her.

"Seriously, the sexual tension in this compartment is making my stomach flop," Jaclyn commented, getting to her feet to make room for Remus to slide by. "However, I also want to check up on my brother since this is his first ride and all, so I'll be back in a little while, if you can all stand my absence for that long.

"We'll try to survive," Jamie replied, batting her eyes cheekily as she reached for Remus's hand.

"Yeah, I need to go patrol since I know Potter won't," Lily resigned, being able to read the fact Jamie wanted to be alone with Remus. "Would you care to join me, Lauren?"

"Oh, but I wanted to continue to be a hindrance," Lauren whined, but standing up nonetheless. "We'll be back, though."

"And I really don't want to walk in to my darling cousin snogging," Jaclyn added before Lily could successfully push them out of the compartment.

"Really, could you two be any bigger wankers?" Jamie and Remus heard Lily exclaim before sliding the door shut.

There was a moment of silence while Remus and Jamie adjusted to the sudden notion of them being alone and Remus turned to look at Jamie. "About that…"

Jamie laughed and slowly rubbed her thumb against Remus's silver thumb ring. "Sorry about that. A right group of gits, they are."

"You aren't constantly surrounded by James, Sirius, and Peter," Remus pointed out, describing his own group of friends, who were known around school as the Marauders.

"I suppose you're right," Jamie replied, looking up into Remus's brown eyes. "I missed you a lot this summer."

"Well, that's too bad, because I actually managed to find myself someone knew these past few months," Remus shrugged, averting his gaze from Jamie's eyes and out the window.

"Oh, shut it," Jamie responded, playfully socking him in the shoulder. Then, her face fell and she gave him a questioning look and slowly said, "You're joking, right?"

"Of course I'm joking, Jamie," Remus laughed, scoffing at her concern and kissing her on the forehead. "I missed you so much this summer. It took everything inside of me to not just Apparate to the States after I passed the test."

"I would have welcomed it, that's for sure," Jamie sighed, taking Remus's ring clear off his thumb. "It wasn't the most exciting trip, honestly."

"Well, we're together now," Remus noted, glancing around the compartment, then returning his gaze to Jamie and cocking on eyebrow. "Alone."

"Remus John Lupin," Jamie gasped, pretending to be offended. "I don't recall you ever being so forward."

"I haven't been alone with you in two months," Remus reminded her, sweeping her hair behind her ear and cupping her chin. "Did you expect me to be courteous?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jaclyn stormed down the hallway of the train, without so much a look back at Lily and Lauren. 

"What's with her?" Lauren questioned Lily, watching Jaclyn's blonde curls bounce away from her.

"I haven't a clue," Lily admitted, nodding towards the opposite direction that Jaclyn was heading. "But, I think we should let her cool down before we question it."

Jaclyn continued on her rampage, trying desperately to shake off the jealous feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. Finally, she reached her destination: the very end of the train, where there was a door that led to the outside platform. It was common knowledge that students weren't supposed to go onto the platform, but she didn't care.

"Alohomora," Jaclyn whispered, glad that no one was around to see her use her wand. Even though she was seventeen now and it was legal for her to use magic, she didn't want to attract any unwanted attention.

Jaclyn quickly slipped out onto the platform and leaned against one of the rails, letting the wind whip around her hair. She found it much more relaxing that she probably should have, but didn't care. After a few moments, she straightened up and sat down on the small platform, directly in front of the door.

"What is your problem, Carter?" Jaclyn asked herself before swearing under her breath. "She's your cousin."

Jaclyn sighed heavily. Since their first year at Hogwarts, she had found herself in the receiving end of her friend's problems - meaning, they were constantly coming to her for advice, leaving her to her thoughts by herself. Truthfully, she had always been fond of the solitude, but sometimes a person needs to have some to confide in other than a spiral bound notebook.

Normally, Jaclyn would go to Jamie, not only because they were cousins but also because they got along so famously. However, Jaclyn really wasn't sure how she could confront someone to tell them that they had had an on-going crush on their boyfriend since before they had even started dating.

Jaclyn had been interested in Remus since they were in their fifth year - when they had been assigned to be Potions partners. While they had been casual friends before that (their groups of friends ran side by side, despite Lily's extreme dislike for James), she had realized how interesting Remus was. However, at that same time, Jamie had begun to discover the same thing.

Jamie had been coming off a sour ending relationship with Sirius Black and Remus had been the first to pick her up, leaving them to start a relationship of their own that was still going strong, two years later. Over time, Jaclyn had learned to ignore the angry butterflies in the pit of her stomach that happened whenever she saw Jamie and Remus kiss or hold hands or just exchange a look, but sometimes it caught her off guard, like just moments ago when Remus came into the compartment.

Suddenly, the door was pushed from inside the train, not only knocking Jaclyn from her thoughts, but nearly off the train. She quickly jumped to her feet and prayed that she wouldn't be in any sort of trouble.

To her surprise, a boy with shaggy, black hair and piercing blue eyes walked onto the platform, quickly closing the door behind him. He jumped slightly when he noticed Jaclyn standing there, then recovered.

"Hi, Jaclyn," Sirius greeted, a tiny bit of questioning in his voice. "I thought I was the only one that came out here."

"Surprise," Jaclyn replied without any enthusiasm at all, leaning forward against the railing again, causing her hair to whip around once more.

"Careful," Sirius warned as the train started around a curve. "I don't want to have to explain to Dumbledore not only why I was out here, but how I let you fall to your death."

"Anything but that," Jaclyn sighed, backing up and sitting back down nonetheless. "So, what brings you to my domain, Mr. Black?"

For a moment, a look lingered on Sirius' face, as though he was trying to determine whether he should be joking or be frank. "I just needed some space to think," he decided on.

"Oh, well, I can leave - "

"No, no, you're fine," Sirius added hastily. "Actually, maybe you can help me."

Jaclyn's eyebrows shot up, threatening to be lost in her hairline. "The great Sirius Black is asking me, Jaclyn Carter, for advice? Who would have thought that the same boy who tried to trip me on my way up to be Sorted would - "

"You know, I could push you off this train," Sirius warned. "I don't really want to talk to Dumbledore, but I could think of something."

"All right, all right," Jaclyn resigned, turning her head to give him her complete attention. "What's up?"

"I like this girl - "

"Oh, Sirius, it's not another random Hufflepuff, is it?"

"No, Jaclyn, it is not," Sirius replied with a flare of anger, obviously rethinking his notion of going to her in the first place. "She's in our year, but she's dating a friend of mine. I've liked her for some time now, but - "

"Ah, I get it," Jaclyn nodded. "You like Jamie, but Remus is getting royally in the way."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that's the situation," Sirius sighed. "I basically haven't stopped having feelings for her since I let my hormones get the best of me and she broke up with me back in the day."

"I know the feeling," Jaclyn sympathized.

"Oh, yeah, I know you do," Sirius grinned, pushing his hair out of his face to no prevail, as the wind was too much. "Only you make it devastatingly obvious."

"I do not!" Jaclyn protested, then realizing the gravity of the situation. "Promise you won't say anything to Jamie or Remus."

"That depends," Sirius replied. "How much do you have on you?"

"Ha-ha, Sirius," Jaclyn said, wrapping her arms around her chest. "It's getting harder and harder. I mean, it wasn't so bad last year, but they've gotten steadily more serious."

"Uh, yeah, they've been together for, what, two years?" Sirius added.

"Yeah," Jaclyn agreed.

"Well, I'm glad we had this talk," Sirius said, grinning again. "Now that we've come to this conclusion, I think there's only one thing we can do."

"And that might be?" Jaclyn asked, giving Sirius a questioning look. She wasn't one for cryptic moments - she'd rather get straight to the point.

"We're going to be partners in crime," Sirius decided, holding his hand out for Jaclyn to shake. "We're going to break those two up."

At first, Jaclyn opened up her mouth to protest, but then she hesitated. Jamie had known when she and Remus had started dating that Jaclyn had feelings for him, no matter how small they might have been at the time. Who was she to try to ruin something like that? It was Jaclyn's turn for some happiness, as far as she was concerned. A large smile split across Jaclyn's face as she took Sirius's hand and shook it.

"Now, that's the Sirius Black I know and love," Jaclyn nodded, the twinkle in her grey eyes mirroring the one in Sirius's.

* * *

"We should probably head back to the compartment," Lauren noted, a Pumpkin Pasty in her hand. 

"You just want to bust in on a potentially embarrassing situation for Jamie," Lily stated the obvious, a bag of Bertie Bott's in her own hand. "But, I really just want to sit down and not have to deal with the stares of awe from a bunch of first years anymore."

"That didn't sound conceited or anything," Lauren muttered.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," Lauren lied, stuffing more pasty into her mouth as they reached the compartment.

"Here goes," Lily braced herself, sliding the door.

Lucky for the two of them, the scene wasn't nearly as bad as they could have encountered. Remus was flipping through a random book that he had dug up from somewhere. When he looked up to greet Lily and Lauren, a streak of pink lipstick smudged along his jaw line was clearly visible to the two of them, forced a snort out of Lauren. Jamie, on the other hand, was finishing changing into her uniform and robes and, as she turned around to face the two girls, a glimpse of the beginnings of a hickey on her collarbone. Noticing them look, her face flushed slightly and she fixed her collar to hide it again.

"Hello," Jamie greeted, obviously trying to be nonchalant, but failing miserably. "Is there a problem?"

"No, none at all," Lily insisted, not bothering to hide her mocking smirk.

"Good," Jamie replied, taking a seat between Remus's legs, who raised his arms instinctively to allow Jamie to sink into his chest.

Lily and Lauren chose not to press the situation and sat down across from the two of them as the compartment door flung open, revealing James and Peter Pettigrew, both very exasperated. Without so much of a hello, they flew into the compartment and pulled the door back shut.

"Do we want to know?" Remus asked after a silent moment.

"You'll find out," James responded, breathing heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

"And you'll be very entertained," Peter, the fourth member of the Marauders, added, running his fingers through his light blonde hair, trying to get the same effect James's hair had, but not succeeding.

"I highly doubt that," Remus sighed as James took a seat next to Lily, much to her dismay, and Peter sat on the floor since Jamie and Remus were sprawled across the other seat. "I'm sure it's just something I'll have to smooth over."

"Now, now," James corrected Remus. "I do believe that I'm Head Boy. I won't be needing your little Prefect arse to do my bidding any longer."

"Is that what you're planning to do?" Lily asked heatedly. "Use your Head status to get away with a bunch of little pranks?"

"Lily, relax," Jamie put in. "He's only kidding." Lily crossed her arms, obviously annoyed and not relaxing, but shutting up nonetheless.

Before Lily could strike up an argument with James again, the door slid open once more, revealing Sirius and Jaclyn.

"Padfoot, you missed out on some good fun," James greeted as the two squished into the already small compartment.

"Really?" Sirius asked, his face filled with genuine dismay. "What'd you do?"

"You'll see," Peter said in a singsong voice from his spot on the floor.

"Move your big arse, Jamie," Jaclyn said, shoving her cousin's knees slightly. Jamie sighed in annoyance, but sat up straight on the seat to make room for Jaclyn as Sirius sat himself on James lap, who quickly shoved him onto the floor.

Before long, the eight seventh years were talking animatedly, any animosity or jealous between members temporarily forgotten. That is, of course, until the door flew open one more time, this time by Severus Snape, a fellow seventh year, but of the Slytherin House. His greasy hair was flailing about and his pale face was seemingly paler than they had ever seen.

"Potter!" he spat, glaring at the group. "Pettigrew! What did you do to me?"

James and Peter instantly started laughing, unable to contain themselves. Sirius looked from the two of them, then to Snape, who was doing what is unmistakably known across the world as the 'Potty Dance.'

"I think I have an idea," Sirius answered, grinning from ear to ear. "I take it you have to use the loo?"

Snape snapped his glare from James to Sirius, but nodded nonetheless. "What's the counter jinx for this? I demand you tell me now!"

"It's a Muggle thing," James managed to spurt out.

"We put it in your Pumpkin Juice," Peter finished, nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Do you mean to say there is nothing I can do for this?" Snape said, clutching his stomach.

"I suggest you run to the bathroom," Sirius managed before he joined James and Peter's gales of laughter.

Snape continued to glare at the two of them until he couldn't stand it any longer and jetted down the corridor to the restroom that was on the train.

"I can't believe you did that," Lily said disapprovingly, despite the small smile on her lips, causing Jamie, Jaclyn, and Lauren to join in the laughter.

"Maybe he'll remember this next time he tries to call me 'Potty,'" James pointed out between laughs.

"Honestly," Remus rolled his eyes. "It isn't that funny."

"Oh, don't be a yawn, Remus," Jamie said, leaning over to kiss his lightly on the lips, which quickly turned deeper than they'd been expecting.

Seeing this, Jaclyn stopped laughing right away and couldn't help but feel the anger and jealousy she had sworn she'd try to push away. She looked at Sirius, who had the same expression on his own face. Their eyes met and he nodded to her. The plan was obviously on.

While her friends began to recover from their laughter and turn on Remus and Jamie by throwing different objects at them, Jaclyn realized just how much drama had already occurred this school year. '_And we haven't even gotten to the school yet_,' she mused to herself. '_Hogwarts, here we come_.'

* * *

_**Author's Note:** This is much longer than I expected it would be. I had originally started by trying to rewrite/finish my trilogy "Strangest Friends" over on my other account, Aalina, but it morphed into this. So, yes, Jamie Williams has been used before, but she is my own character. :)_

_Make sure you let me know what you think - that little purple button is begging to be pushed!_

_Thank you, RisuMusume for bringing to my attention my inconsistency with Remus's middle name. I appreciate it!_


	2. You and I

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "You and I" is by Michael Buble and I do not, in any way, own it. 

**Let Me Be Your Downfall**  
**Chapter Two: You and I**

_It's true I've really found someone like you   
Will it stay - the love you feel for me?  
Will you say that you will be by my side   
To see me through until my life is through?_

"Now, would someone please come to the front and draw the ancient symbols of peace…," Professor Brooks was saying to her Ancient Runes class.

Jamie, who was seated near the back of the room, couldn't help but wonder what this had anything to do with the impending Auror training she was going to hopefully be partaking in only a year. She didn't exactly understand how a NEWT Ancient Runes class was going to help her when she was neck to neck with some Death Eater throwing a random Unforgivable at her.

Seated in the desk in front of her was Remus and beside her was Lauren. Lauren was leaning on her shoulder, her elbow nearly sliding off the desktop and her eyes had been fluttering since nearly the beginning of the class. Getting sick of having to poke her to wake her up, she welcomed the folded paper bird that drifted onto her desk.

_Are you getting any of this?_ was written on the paper in a loopy sort of hand writing that Jamie recognized as Sirius's.

**_I stopped paying attention ages ago. I'm hoping Remus is paying attention so I can copy his homework, I mean notes._**

A snort escaped from the desk behind Jamie, causing Professor Brooks to spin around from the front of the room. Not being able to recognize who the culprit was, she eyed the class with a warning look, then turned back to face the blackboard. "Now, as I was saying…"

_Oops._

**_Nice one. Do you want something in particular or are you just trying to induce the wrath of Professor Brooks?_**

A snore came from next to Jamie, so she elbowed Lauren swiftly, causing her to jump and look around. Once she realized where she was, she shot Jamie a death look.

"I was sleeping on purpose," Lauren muttered, returning to the position she had been in just moments prior, not noticing the flying paper.

_Trying to make Remus jealous._

Although Sirius couldn't see it, Jamie raised an eyebrow at the paper and glanced forward at Remus, who was taking notes like there was no tomorrow.

**_Now, why would you want to do something like that?_**

_It's my job to keep him on his feet._

**_Well, that's incredibly thoughtful of you._**

_What can I say? I'm a gentleman._

Before Jamie could write a response to Sirius about her doubting the fact he was as gentlemanly as he was claiming, Professor Brooks turned to address the entire class once more.

"Now, seeing as the end of class is almost here, I want to announce an ongoing assignment that will be starting today and won't end until the start of the Christmas holiday," she began, pointing her wand at the board so it erased everything. Jamie noticed Remus sit up quickly and sigh, flinging his quill down onto his desk, obviously not getting all of the notes from the board. "There will be no other assignments during this time, only quizzes and exams."

Professor Brooks paused for a moment, allowing the class to take this information in and for a few people to murmur excitedly about not having any other homework. The other students, however, looked at the professor warily, knowing how her mind worked.

"This will be a partner project," Professor Brooks continued, beginning to pace at the front of the class. "Your partner will be selected at random. All you must do is write each other letters in Ancient Runes. You are free to tell each other who you are, but I, personally, would rather enjoy the anonymity. You are free to write about whatever you want, so long as it is in Ancient Runes. Any questions?"

"How much of our grade will this be worth?" Lily asked from the opposite side of.

"A fair portion, Mr. Potter, since, as I said, there will be no other assignments," Professor Brooks answered.

"If it's anonymous," Sirius asked slyly, "how will you know if we've done the assignment?"

"Always looking for the way out, aren't we, Mr. Black?" Professor Brooks asked, her lips pursed disapprovingly. "I will be checking papers before class. Any other questions? Good - class is dismissed."

As Jamie gathered her parchment and quills, Remus spun around in his seat to address her. "Do you need my notes?"

"Of course," Jamie responded, sliding her things into her bag. "Why break tradition now?"

"What's that?" Remus asked, reaching for the paper bird, but Jamie snatched it up before he could grab it.

"Sirius and I were writing notes," Jamie put simply, stuffing the bird into her bag along with her other things. "Do you have class right now?"

"Arithmancy," he answered, smiling apologetically. "Want to meet me out at the tree after dinner?"

Jamie nodded and stood up straight to accept a quick kiss from him before he hurried off to his next class.

"Now, you know I'm not one to say how sickeningly perfect a relationship is," Lauren began, putting her bag over her shoulder and following Jamie out of the room, "but since we're the only ones to hear it and I know you'll never repeat it - "

"Two hours later…," Jamie interrupted impatiently.

"Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?" Lauren asked.

"Not tremendously, but I'm sure you're going to tell me either way," Jamie replied.

"Thanks for waiting," Lily said irritably, stepping in between the two girls. "What did I miss?"

"Lauren is about to give up her dignity or something just as horrible," Jamie joked, batting her eyes at Lauren. "Please, go on."

"Nope, you missed your chance," Lauren taunted, shrugging her shoulders. "Too bad for you."

"Right," Lily put in, glancing down at her class schedule. "Damn, I have Muggle Studies now. I was hoping I'd be finished for the day. You would not believe how much homework I've managed to get - and classes hardly started!"

"Wow, is Lily Evans complaining about a full course load?" Lauren asked with a sarcastic bite to her tone. "I think we told you back when you signed up for all those classes not to complain once you were in over your head."

Lily made a face at Lauren as Jamie asked, "Why are you taking Muggle Studies? You're Muggle-born, Lily."

"Like I've forgotten," Lily scoffed. "I can't walk by a Slytherin without them reminding me. I've taken it since it was first offered, so I figured I should just finish off the course."

"I think James mentioned taking that," Lauren commented, scrunching her forehead trying to remember.

"Wonderful," Lily sighed in despair. "Save me a place at dinner, alright?"

Jamie and Lauren nodded in agreement as Lily waved over her shoulder to bid them goodbye as she turned down a different corridor. The other two quickly found their way up to the Gryffindor common room, their feet easily following the route that they had struggled to learn seven years earlier.

Making their way through the portrait entrance, everything was as it normally was - including two Marauders putting some first years to good use. Curious, Jamie and Lauren approached Sirius and Peter, not entirely sure as to what was going on. The two boys were seated in separate armchairs, Sirius's wand in hand. Before him was a first year boy, laughing uncontrollably to the point of falling to his knees. The group of first years surrounding them looked warily upon the situation, as though wondering what they might have gotten themselves into.

"What are you doing?" Lauren asked directly.

"Demonstrating," Sirius answered simply, not taking his eyes off the boy.

"Demonstrating what?" Lauren pushed.

"We're practicing for our Charms NEWTS," Peter said smartly, then added in a very unsure tone, "At least, that's what Sirius said."

"Sirius, leave the boy alone before he wets himself," Jamie scolded. Surprisingly, Sirius lifted his wand and turned his gaze to Jamie for a moment. "What?" she demanded.

"Nothing," Sirius said, visibly shaking, as though trying to forget something. He straightened up and grinned widely. "Who's next?"

Much to Lauren and Jamie's dismay, a girl jumped forward and said, "Oh, me!"

"Love, are you - " Jamie started, trying to warn the girl.

"Don't listen to her," Sirius interrupted. "What's your favorite color?"

"Purple," the girl answered without so much as skipping a beat.

Before Jamie could stop him, Sirius lifted his wand to the girl and said, "_Coloropunicus_."

"Oh, bloody hell, Sirius," Jamie groaned, while Lauren clapped along with the rest of the crowd. The girl shrieked when she caught her reflection in the full size mirror behind Sirius and Peter, then grinned wildly while turning to face her fellow first years.

"Thank you, thank you," Sirius said, getting to his feet and bowing at his admirers. "But, that will be all for today. Please go about your business."

"Aren't you going to change her back?" Jamie asked as the now purple girl ran to show the rest of her friends.

"It'll fade away eventually," Sirius said, watching the girl. "I think."

"That's assuring," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"Really, you sound more and more like Moony every day," Sirius noted, moving over to one of the couches and leaving Peter to gab with Lauren.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jamie demanded, following him. "And, for that matter, what was with those notes in Ancient Runes?'

"I was bored," Sirius shrugged, putting out a Quidditch book from his bag. "You were probably the only other person awake in the classroom."

"I think what you said was that you were trying to, and I quote, 'make Remus jealous,'" Jamie pressed, sitting next to Sirius on the scarlet couch. "Why would you want to do that?"

"I was just joking around," Sirius answered evenly, not lifting his gaze from his book. "I'm kind of infamous for my amazing sense of humor."

"That and your ability to shove your tongue down a girl's throat," Jamie muttered, fully aware that Sirius could hear her.

"Look, Jamie, I've changed a lot since then," Sirius said angrily, trying to control himself.

"Oh, I could totally tell, what with you turning girls purple," Jamie replied. "Sirius, let me get this straight. Things have been over between us for a long time."

"Is that why we stopped snogging between classes?" Sirius asked dumbly.

"So stop flirting with me," Jamie finished, getting to her feet, forcing him to look her in the eye. "I can't deal with it anymore - it's too hard."

"Fine," Sirius agreed, looking back down at his book to show that this discussion was over.

"Fine," Jamie replied, spinning on her heel.

'_All going to plan_," Sirius grinned as he watched Jamie fume away. '_This is too easy_.'

* * *

"Lily," James called down the hallway after their Muggle Studies class. "Lily!" 

"Why is he talking to me?" Lily muttered under her breath, pretending not to hear him as she rushed toward the Great Hall.

"Lily, wait up!" he called one more time, making Lily take pity and whirling around. James was obviously much closer to her than she had suspected, because he slammed into her, causing her bag to fly off her shoulder, spewing her books, parchment, and quills to fly across the hall.

"I'm sorry!" James apologized, falling to his knees to start collecting the supplies. "I'm so sorry, Lily!"

"It's fine," Lily said in an exasperated voice, landing next to him. "It's nothing big."

"I'm still sorry," James repeated one last time. "I didn't mean to - "

"Don't think of it," Lily reassured, taking a stack of parchment from him and putting it back into her bag. "Forgive and forget and all."

James smiled at Lily and, for some reason unknown to her, she smiled back. After a few seconds, Lily became terribly aware of her setting and rose to her feet.

"So, did you need anything?" Lily asked James as she motioned for them to start walking toward the Great Hall.

"Not particularly," James admitted, his face flushing slightly. "I just wanted to walk with you, you know, since we were going to the same place and all."

"Oh, I see," Lily replied, glancing away from him, then back as they entered the Hall. "That was quite thoughtful of you."

James couldn't help but beam as he sat down next to Sirius, Lily on his other side. Sirius raised an eyebrow at James, who didn't notice since he was still in his own little world. Sirius exchanged a look with Remus, who shrugged and continued scooping potatoes onto his plate.

"Have any of you seen Jaclyn today?" Remus asked, looking around the table and noting that she and Jamie were the only ones not present and accounted for.

"Can't say I have," Sirius answered, waving a hand in front of James's face to bring him back to the world. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering," Remus shrugged.

"Concerned?" Sirius pushed.

"I wouldn't say that," Remus replied, taking his Arithmancy book out of his bag and balancing it on the table so he could read it.

Defeated, Sirius dropped the subject and joined in a conversation Peter was having with Lauren about Quidditch. Before long, he noticed Jamie walk into the Hall with Jaclyn, butterflies filling his stomach - something he'd never admit aloud to anyone, even James. He hated having to cause the earlier argument with her, but he needed to know if she was still interested. The look of death he received from her when she sat next to Remus, though, almost made him think otherwise.

"Remus," Jamie began quietly, trying not to have anyone else hear, although she knew she was failing miserably. "Do you think we could take this to go and sit outside?"

Remus glanced up at her from his book and looked as though he was going to protest, but nodded nonetheless. "Sure," he agreed, putting his book back into his bag and snatching up an apple. "See you all later."

There was a chorus of goodbyes as the two left the table. As they passed the Slytherin table, a few howls escaped from the crowd, causing Remus to speed up. Jamie hurried forward to grab his hand to comfort him, but he pulled away until they reached outside. When he slowed up, Jamie realized that his face was beat red. They walked in silence until they reached a tall beech tree next to the Lake on the grounds.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Jamie said, taking her robes off and putting them on the grass so she could sit on them.

"It's not your fault," Remus replied shortly, obviously not wanting to talk about it as he leaned back against the tree. Despite the fact so few people knew that he was actually a werewolf, he knew of the rumors that had floated around Hogwarts since the beginning of his monthly disappearances. Many people saw it as only coincidental - after all, why would Dumbledore allow a werewolf into Hogwarts.

After a few uncomfortable moments, Jamie asked, "Why are you wearing your glasses?" Normally he did a morning charm on his eyes to correct his vision for the day.

"I was too tired," Remus answered, sinking his teeth into the apple. "Full moon in less than a week."

Jamie had noticed that the moon cycles did have more of a toll on him than just a monthly transformation. Remus hadn't told her until almost a year and a half into their relationship out of fear of her judging him. She had started to have suspicions, though, when she accidentally overheard James and Sirius muttering about a "late-night adventure for Moony" when Remus had been gone once.

"Is everything alright?" Jamie asked, remembering that it had been his idea in the first place to meet outside.

Remus hesitated for a moment and then shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

"What's up?" Jamie asked.

"Jamie, I've been doing a lot of thinking," he began slowly, as though he was weighing each of his words. "We've been together for almost two years now, right?"

"Two years October 3rd," Jamie put in.

"Yes," Remus nodded. "You've been through so much with me and have accepted me when so many haven't in the past." He paused, closing his eyes in thought. "I - I - Jamie, I love you."

"Oh, Remus, you know I love you, too," Jamie replied, her brow still furrowed showing concern. They had been exchanging "I love you's" for what felt like forever and she didn't understand.

"I know we're only seventeen, but I can't imagine myself with anyone but you," Remus continued, putting a hand on her cheek. He hesitated again, and then gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this sort of thing and I've never done it before."

"Okay?" Jamie questioned, putting her hand on his hand. "Take your time, love."

"It's just, you're the constant in my life, Jamie," Remus explained. "Ever since we've been together, my transformations have been less severe, my life has been infinitely better. And, well," he straightened up, pulling his silver ring off of his thumb and holding it up for her to see. "I'd really like it if you'd marry me."

Jamie's jaw dropped, Muggle cartoon style. "Are you serious? This isn't a joke?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?" Remus asked, a small smile on his face. "Jamie, I love you and I can't see me with anyone but you."

Jamie blinked a few times before grinning widely. "Of course I'll marry you, love."

Remus put the ring onto Jamie's left hand ring finger. When he saw that it was far too large, he tapped it with his wand while muttering, "_Substrictus_." After it shrunk to properly fit her finger, he looked into her eyes and said, "Until I can afford something sparkly."

"It's perfect," Jamie insisted, looking at her hand. Then, looking into his speckled gold brown eyes with her own dark green, her mouth split into a mischievous grin.

"What?" Remus asked, still unable to believe that she had accepted.

Jamie got to her knees and straddled Remus's lap. "Now, if we're going to do this," she said, looking deep into his eyes, "we need to level with how hard it's going to be."

"I know, Jamie," Remus nodded, swiping a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I've been thinking about this since the beginning of the summer holiday. But, I think that if anyone can do it, it's us."

Jamie put her hands on Remus's face and lowered her mouth onto his. Remus deepened the kiss without hesitation, his hands wandering up and down her back. Jamie buried her hands within Remus's light brown hair, his mouth trailing to the place on her neck that he knew would make her sigh in pleasure. When she did, Jamie forced herself to back away, her face just inches from his own.

"Remus Lupin, I love you so much," Jamie said just one more time, even though she knew he knew.

"Jamie Williams-soon-to-be-Lupin," Remus grinned, kissing her softly. "I love you even more."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I found this chapter to be particularly boring, but it had to be written. Please bear with me, alright? It'll heat up, as I'm sure you noticed come the end..

* * *

**La Mariposa:** Of course I know you liked it. But, sometimes we all need a little reinforcing. :) 

**allweknowisfalling:** Well, certainly gave you some more drama! I hope you enjoy it!

* * *


	3. In This Diary

**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "In This Diary" is by The Ataris and I do not own it in any way. 

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Three: In This Diary**

_Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up  
These are the best days of our lives  
The only thing that matters is just following your heart  
And eventually you'll finally get it right_

The next few weeks were much mellower than that eventful first week back at Hogwarts. The Marauders kept their hands full with different pranks and scandals - they even got around to documenting all of their original jinxes, which was quite a task that took up most of their free time. Lily continued pounding through her full course load, the wear slowly becoming visible in her face. Her friends were concerned for her, but even more so when they heard the unbelievable, sky-is-falling, pigs-are-flying, hell-just-froze-over news.

"Say, WHAT?" Jamie shouted at the breakfast table, flinging her forkful of pancakes onto the floor, not even noticing when it disappeared and a new, clean fork appeared next to her plate.

"I'm serious!" Jaclyn nodded enthusiastically, her eyes dancing around as though she had won the long-dead Triwizard Tournament. "James just asked Lily to go to Hogsmeade with him tonight and she said yes!"

Sirius, Remus, Peter, Jamie, and Lauren all stared at Jaclyn in shock. Finally, Lauren spoke up. "I'm going to dismiss the fact that James and Lily going together is unbelievable enough and point out that tonight is a Friday and most definitely not a Hogsmeade weekend."

"Oh, please," Sirius scoffed, giving Lauren an "are-you-kidding?" look. "Like we don't know how to get to Hogsmeade without taking the main road."

Lauren gave a resigning shrug. "I walked into that one myself."

"I feel like I should go to the Hospital Wing," Peter said, shaking his head slowly as though he just couldn't mull this information over.

"Don't you worry, Wormtail," Remus joked, clapping him on his back. "Things will return to normal soon enough."

"Oh, bloody," Jaclyn swore, quickly grabbing a pile of pancakes and putting them onto her plate as she noticed both Lily and James walking into the Hall. "I don't know if we're supposed to know just yet - I just happened to catch the conversation while Jon was telling me about some letter our mum sent him before I came down."

"What was that, Jaclyn Carter?" Sirius asked loudly as the couple found places at the table amongst their friends. "You were maliciously eavesdropping on two of your closest friends looking for ways to black mail them and you heard some juicy news that could only be from 'The Quibbler' as no one would believe it in a thousand years? Please, do go on. Oh, hello there, James and Lily," Sirius continued, pretending to just notice the two. "Jaclyn was going to tell us about this unbelievable conversation she heard in the common room between a certain bespectacled boy and red - "

Jaclyn punched Sirius hard in the shoulder and said, "You're a right awful git, Black, you know that?"

"I aim to please," Sirius replied, then turned to the now red-faced Lily and James. "So, might you know anything about this?"

"Oh, leave them alone, Sirius," Remus said, knowing exactly what position the two were in after announcing the engagement between him and Jamie only weeks earlier.

"Yeah, leave us alone, Sirius," Lily added lamely, her face beginning to blend into her hair.

"What I can't understand," Jamie spoke up, "is how Miss Lily Evans is not only agreeing to go out with a certain Mr. James Potter, but obviously breaking numerous rules in the meantime. Quite uncharacteristic, eh?"

Lily stuck her tongue out at Jamie and James came to the rescue. "I just figured that we could all use a break, is all. Why don't we all go to Hogsmeade tonight?"

The others agreed, minus Peter, who was stuck with detention that night, after picking the short straw and having to take the blame of a prank James and Sirius had cooked up earlier that week involving Sirius's younger brother, Regulus, Peeves, and some conjured buckets of paint. The group agreed to meet outside the library after dinner.

Suddenly realizing the time, James sat up straight and announced, "Damn, we have to set off to the Northern Tower before - " the bell rang " - the first bell rings." His face fell. "I suggest we be on our way."

James, Sirius, Peter, and Lauren, who all had Advanced Divination together, took off quickly, hoping to make it to nearly the opposite side of the castle in five minutes.

"Good luck!" Lily called after them with a hint of laughter in her voice.

"I'll see you both in Ancient Runes," Jamie said, finishing off her glass of milk and getting to her feet. "Remus, love, we need to jet to Care For Magical Creatures or we're going to be late as well."

"Coming," Remus responded, closing his Ancient Runes text, checking over his letter that was due later that day in class. "Wouldn't want to induce the wrath of Kettleburn."

Lily and Jaclyn, who both had free periods that morning, stayed seated at the Gryffindor table. Lily's eyes followed Jamie and Remus out of the Hall hand-in-hand. Jaclyn noticed Lily's view and glanced at her cousin and would-be boyfriend.

"Makes you sick, doesn't it?" Jaclyn asked only half-joking - or not joking at all.

Lily shook her head in disagreement, startling Jaclyn. "No, actually - Jaclyn, can I ask you something?"

Jaclyn raised an eyebrow, surprised at Lily. Normally Lily kept to herself, only divulging her inner workings with Jamie, who, as most everyone knew, had been her best friend since their first year. "Of course, Lily, what's up?"

"Do you think I'm settling?" When Jaclyn gave her a questioning look, Lily pounded further, "With James, I mean. I know that sounds terrible and all, but I'm afraid that the only reason I agreed to going to Hogsmeade is, well, you know everything that's happening with Jamie and Remus?"

Jaclyn nodded, ignoring the pang in her stomach and instead focusing on how different Lily sounded compared to what she was used to.

"Well, see, I half think that the reason I agreed is because I've been so caught up with everything going on between the two of them," Lily continued. "They're only seventeen and Jamie's thinking about wedding dresses and flowers while all I have to concentrate on is my school work."

"Lily, I'm going to be square with you," Jaclyn sat up straight, interrupting her. "James has been interested in you since what feel like forever. He has jumped through hoops trying to impress you and all you've done is shot him down."

Lily's face scrunched up. "Make me sounds even more like a bad guy, why don't you?"

Jaclyn held up a hand and said, "Let me finish, please. I think that all this time you've been relishing in the attention James has been bestowing upon you and now, finally, you're allowing him a taste of what he's been giving you because you're curious as to why he's always been so interested in you in the first place. Besides, is it really all bad to spend time with someone who has placed you in the center of their own universe?"

Lily stared at Jaclyn for a moment, and then nodded. "You're right, you know. You always are." She gave Jaclyn a warm smile. "You're such a gem, you know that? But, I think I'm going to reside in the library until Ancient Runes later."

As she got up to leave Jaclyn, Lily added, "Really, Jaclyn, you're such a wonderful person. Thanks so much."

Sitting alone, Jaclyn's eyes drifted to the chairs that Remus and Jamie had been sitting in just a few moments before. '_If I'm so wonderful_,' Jaclyn mused to herself as the second bell rang, '_why am I doing this?_'

* * *

"James, I know that this is you," Remus noted, looking up at his letter that he had received in Ancient Runes that day. "I don't know why you keep denying it class after class." 

"Well, even if it was me," James snubbed, leading the way for himself, Remus, Sirius, and Jamie to the library, "I wouldn't tell you. That would be cheating."

Sirius snorted. "I'll remember that next time you're vying to copy my Potions essay."

"James, this has to be you," Jamie said, looking over Remus's arm to read the letter. "Right here it says, 'Last night I had a dream about a lovely red-head I've had my eyes on for years. I hope my roommates didn't wake as I - '"

"What?" James shouted, snatching the parchment from Remus's hands as the other three howled in laughter. "I did not write that!"

"Thank you for proving my point," Remus replied, taking the letter back with as much fervor as James had in taking it from him.

Upon arriving at the library, the four noticed that Lily, Lauren, and Jaclyn were already waiting for them.

"About time," Lauren complained.

"No kidding," Lily added nervously, her eyes scanning up and down the corridor. "What if Filch or Mrs. Norris sees us?"

"Don't worry about it," Sirius assured, looking at what looked like a spare bit of old parchment. "The closest person is Nearly-Headless Nick and he's up by the trophy case."

"How do you know that?" Lauren demanded.

"What is that?" Jaclyn asked in the same tone.

When the boys looked at each other questioningly, Jamie rolled her eyes and said, "It's this thing they call the Marauder's Map. A few years back the four of them managed to bewitch a map of Hogwarts that shows everyone in the school as well as all of their secret passageways and so and so forth."

"Bloody hell, Moony, do you have to tell her anything?" Sirius asked, pushing his friend lightly.

"I haven't told her that James's mum always sends you pink pajamas with feet for Christmas every year," Remus replied, pushing Sirius back.

While the others laughed and Sirius attempted to behead Remus, Lily took the map from him, studying the spot that read "Lily Evans" and then taking in the amount of detail and care that must have been given to making the map.

"This is brilliant," Lily said in awe.

"Do you really think so, Lily?" James asked hopefully. "It was my idea."

"Sure, James, go ahead and take all the credit, okay?" Sirius dared, motioning for them to walk to the statue of the one-eyed witch. "I reckon we need to get going if we're planning to visit anywhere before the shops close."

Once they reached the statue, James checked the map once more to make sure they were alone. "Peeves is headed this way, but we should be clear before he gets here."

"Well, no time to waste, then," Sirius said, pulling out his wand. "_Dissendium_."

Before long, the seven teenagers found themselves in the basement of Honeydukes, their wands all lit from using the Lumos charm.

"Where are we?" Jaclyn whispered.

"Honeydukes," Sirius whispered back, walking forward to flip the trap door open quietly.

They all piled out, quickly sneaking into the main part of the shop. Lucky for them, the shopkeeper didn't notice that the shop was suddenly full of Hogwarts students and happily took their Sickles and Knuts when buying their candy.

"Now, what exciting endeavor shall we - " James stopped mid-sentence, his eyes rooted to one spot - Quidditch Supplies Co.

"Oh, Lord," Sirius said, his hand flying to his chest as though he was having a heart attack. "They got the new Comet 100."

The two boys ran to the window that the broom was being displayed in, Lauren close behind them. The three of them were all on the House team, Sirius a Beater, James and Lauren Chasers, and James was as the Team Captain.

"Bloody," Jamie groaned, beckoning the others to follow them. "We're never going to get anywhere now."

"You know, I love Quidditch as much as the next girl," Jaclyn sighed, crossing her arms, "but those three are absolutely insane."

After fifteen minutes of "oohing" and "aahing" from James, Sirius, and Lauren and pleads of finding somewhere warm to go from the others, the seven teenagers resigned to going to the Three Broomsticks. The three with Quidditch obsessions continued musing over all of the near impossible things they imagined being able to do on the field if they owned one of those brooms, Jaclyn and Lily trying to find a place in the conversation as well, allowing Jamie and Remus to trail behind the bunch.

"Are you cold?" Remus asked Jamie, watching her rub her upper arms furiously.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that," Jamie replied sarcastically. "I don't know why I didn't think of grabbing my gloves and hat. You know how cold-blooded I can be at times."

Remus gave Jamie a sympathetic smile, then pulled her close as they walked. "Mh, yeah, that helps," Jamie joked, putting her own arm around his waist. "You know what I could go for right now?"

"Butterbeer?" Remus asked

"Well, that, too, but I think a good snog would warm me right up," Jamie's eyes twinkled with a suggestive raised brow.

"Why don't we get some mind altering substances into you first," Remus suggested, his eyes gleaming with laughter. "You know, so I can have my way with you later."

"Remus John," Jamie scolded, then shrieking as Remus went to pinch her rear. She playfully punched him and ran to catch up with the rest of the group, who was about to enter the casual pub, leaving Remus to hurry by himself.

"Welcome, my little Hogwarts runaways!" greeted Madam Rosmerta, the very attractive, very voluptuous, young owner of the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta was more than used to the Marauders sneaking away from Hogwarts when there wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend. Normally she would be annoyed, but she quickly learned how entertaining and amusing the four boys could be and looked forward to their surprise visits. They group was glad to see that the pub was relatively empty, except for a tall, bleak-looking witch in the corner, who left soon after the teenagers entered, annoyed by the amount of noise they were making.

"Ta, Madam Rosmerta," Sirius greeted back, bowing to the woman. "And how might you be doing this fine evening?"

"Oh, Mr. Black, if only I were a few years younger," Madam Rosmerta laughed, finishing wiping down the bar.

"Please, you're making me blush," Sirius replied, pretending to be bashful.

"Now, who do we have here?" Madam Rosmerta asked, standing up straight and throwing her dishrag into a sink behind the bar. "No Mr. Pettigrew?"

"Detention," Remus explained, shooting a glance at Sirius and James, who pretended to be innocent.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin and the lovely Miss Williams - congratulations, by the way, Hagrid informed me of the good news a few days ago when he was in for a spot of Butterbeer."

Jamie and Remus smiled, slightly embarrassed, but obviously pleased. Jaclyn cleared her throat, bring attention off the couple and onto the other three girls.

"And, yes, I do recall seeing the three of you on weekends," Madam Rosmerta continued, racking her brain. "I apologize, but sometimes I'm terrible with recalling names."

"This is Jaclyn Carter, Lauren Scott, and Lily Evans," James introduced, puffing out his chest ever so slightly when introducing the last young woman.

"Oh, is that so?" Madam Rosmerta grinned, winking at James. "About time."

In this caused James to be embarrassed and a joking jab in the ribs from Sirius. Lily turned a light shade of pink, but smiled happily nonetheless.

"What can I get you all?" Madam Rosmerta asked. "Butterbeers all around?"

"You know, Madam Rosmerta," Sirius interjected slyly, "this is not only our first escape from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade. No, this is also our first escape that involved the whole lot of us being of age."

Madam Rosmerta laughed, obviously understanding where the Marauder was going. "Well, what will it be then? Scotch? Firewhiskey? Splash of brandy?"

After the group admitted to never drinking anything more than Butterbeer (except for Lily and Jamie, who had had a fair amount of champagne at Lily's Muggle sister, Petunia's, wedding the summer before, causing them to accidentally change the color of Petunia's dress from white to rainbow tie-dye), Madam Rosmerta agreed to make a few drinks for the lot until they decided on something they enjoyed.

"It's too bad you don't like us," James joked with Madam Rosmerta, who came over to the long table the group had chosen, a tray balanced on one hand and the other hovering close behind her.

Before long, the group was loudly laughing and sharing stories from Hogwarts, Madam Rosmerta surveying the scene from behind the bar. During the middle of Jamie reliving the tale of the killer Charms partner from her second year when she was partnered up with Bellatrix Black, Jaclyn got to her feet, her empty mug of Butterbeer in one hand. Seeing her get up, Sirius jumped to his feet to join her.

"Just Butterbeer?" Sirius asked pointedly.

"Could you give me a glass of water, Madam Rosmerta?" Jaclyn asked, then addressed Sirius, "I'm not particularly fond of the taste of alcohol. Besides, I figure someone has to make sure we get to the castle in one piece."

"I had the same idea," Sirius replied, holding up his own glass of water. "Remus gets tipsy after just one Butterbeer and he's definitely had his fair share of brandy already."

"I'm surprised, to be honest," Jaclyn admitted, taking the glass Madam Rosmerta set down for her and taking a seat at the bar, facing their friends. "I wouldn't have thought of Remus as the drinking type."

"But you could see Lily?" Sirius countered, jerking his head at the redhead, who was leaning into James's chest, allowing him to have his arm around her and laughing terribly hard at something Lauren had said . "No, a year ago Remus never would have done something like this."

"He's changed a lot," Jaclyn said. "We all have, though."

"What can you expect?" Sirius asked, picking up a discarded Daily Prophet on the bar next to him and reading the headline, "'Three Ministry Officials Missing - Death Eater Involvement Likely.'"

Jaclyn shuddered. Throughout the past few years, unexplained deaths among both Muggles and wizards alike had grown steadily more frequent. The reports said that they were due to the so-called "Death Eaters" who were apparently doing the bidding of a man who called him Lord Voldemort. While his intentions weren't completely obvious, his most frequent victims were normally Muggles or wizards with Muggle ancestry.

"It kind of forces people to change, wouldn't you say?" Jaclyn asked, her eyes still on the paper.

"I've always been a strong supporter of living each day as my last," Sirius admitted. "Remus, on the other hand, has always been more grounded, picking up the pieces James and I leave broken on the floor to make things easier for ourselves."

Jaclyn nodded. "Lily has always done that with us, too. She would never admit it, but she'd rather die than see any of her friends in detention."

"I think that Jamie brought out a new part of Remus, too," Sirius added. "Without her, he'd probably still be the same Remus Lupin that he always was - eating, drinking, and breathing his books and homework rather than only eating and drinking it. You know, he hadn't ever snogged anyone before Jamie. I'm not supposed to tell anyone that."

Jaclyn smiled slightly, watching her cousin and her boyfriend interact with each other. Lily had interrupted her story to say something, so Jamie took the time to whisper something in Remus's ear. He gingerly ran a finger down one of her cheeks and quietly said something back. Jamie's mouth split into a wide grin upon hearing whatever Remus had to say and she pressed her mouth against his.

"Think I should offer them a room now?" Madam Rosmerta asked of Jamie and Remus, making Sirius smirk.

"I think it's about time we headed out," Sirius proclaimed. "My apologies for staying so late," he added, noticing that it was nearing midnight.

"Anytime," Madam Rosmerta insisted, taking Sirius and Jaclyn's glasses.

"And then - oh, you guys are never going to believe this part," Jamie was saying, her arms flailing and nearly smacking Remus across the face, "Bellatrix turned me into a newt!"

"No, she di'nt," Lily slurred. "There'sh no way a shecond year could transform a pershon at that age. I couldn't until my fourth year. Or wash it my fifth year?"

"Way to ruin my story," Jamie pouted as Sirius came up to the table.

"Let's get going, friends," Sirius beseeched, taking a glass from James.

"Fine," James resigned, getting to his feet and nearly falling over them. "Whoa."

"Bunch of lushes," Jaclyn sighed, helping Lily to her feet.

How the bunch of them got back to the Gryffindor Tower undetected was unknown to even Sirius and Jaclyn, and they were sober. To his dismay, Sirius had to pry Jamie and Remus off each other at any given moment, mainly because Jaclyn refused to go near them. Lauren kept shouting random incantations to see if she could make magic without her wand, but only managed to ignite her wands, which burned a hole in her robes before Jaclyn could force her to stand still long enough to put it out. Lily and James were the better behaved of the group, which surprised Sirius to no end, since half of the party was Marauder.

After getting to the school, they only ran into Peeves, who had began to shout for Filch, but the Bloody Baron turned a corner just in time, sending Peeves flying. Luck was definitely on their side when the Bloody Baron only floated past the teenagers, pretending not to see them.

Once they reached the entrance, the Fat Lady gave the group a very disapproving look. "And where might have you been?"

"Is that really any of your business?" Sirius asked heatedly, Lauren falling over onto him and using him as a crutch. "Just - Dandelion Juice."

The Lady pursed her lips, but swung open nonetheless, revealing a, thankfully, empty common room, sans Peter, who was waiting for them to get back.

"You won't believe what McGonagall had me doing," he started before noticing the state of the group. "Hell, what have you been doing? Butterbeer does not do that."

"No, but a mixture of everything but does," Jaclyn said, pushing Jamie and Remus onto one of the couches, Jamie instantly straddling Remus and kissing him without haste.

"James," Lily said, the slurring leaving as she slowly sobered up, "I am so glad I came with you tonight, but I fear it's time for me to turn in."

James's face lit up. "I'd walk you to your room, but I rather enjoy using my legs."

"Not a problem at all," Lily replied, getting to her feet and standing before James. "Thank you for a lovely evening." She kissed him lightly on the lips, then smiled. "See you all in the morning." She hurried to the girl's dormitory, glancing one more time over her shoulder before disappearing.

James stood very still, quite speechless. His wide eyes turned to look at the others, as though asking them if that just happened.

"Yes, Prongs, I do believe it did," Sirius said, just as shocked.

"Hey, where did Jamie and Remus go?" Lauren asked loudly, still unable to control the volume of her voice. "Hey, where did this hole in my robes come from?"

Sirius and Jaclyn both whipped around to see that the couch that had just moments before held a snogging couple was both empty. They looked into each other's eyes, Jaclyn biting her lip as though she was going to cry. '_Of course, Carter_,' she thought to herself, '_they're getting married. How naïve of you._"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oh, man. How perfectly dramatic. :) What's to come, I wonder. Don't worry - nothing too terrible. It is rated T, after all. 

Also, I just want to mention that, if you would like, I'm willing to send out an email to whoever is interested when I submit additions to this fic. A lot of times alerts take forever to be sent to me, if they are sent at all. If you want me to, feel free to email me (kamers. and I'll hook you up.

Also, also, I know a lot of my reviewers came from my cousin, La Mariposa's, fic, but if you're interested, you should definitely check her out. She's in my favorite author's and stories.

* * *

**LandUnderWave:** I'm glad you enjoyed it! To be honest, I'm not completely sure how I'm going to handle the love triangles. Actually, it's more like a diamond. Something like that. Anyways, no matter what, I know they're going to be on good terms, so I can assure you that much! Thanks for reading! 

**La Mariposa:** I'll think about it. Just like you'll think about setting me up with some hot and juicy boy soon, since Jamie surely isn't getting enough attention over on your parts. Remember..I know where you live. :D Also, notice that Jamie had milk with her breakfast. "What kind of beverages do they drink?" I'm glad we had that conversation.

**Paddie's Girl:** Oh, jeez, who can resist puppy eyes:) As I said above, I'm not totally sure as to what I'm going to do with the whole situation. I have a general idea, but it can go either way. We'll tackle that hurdle when we come to it, won't we? Thanks so much for reading!

**Nicoley117:** I'm glad you liked it so much! I hope that you enjoy this chapter, too!

**allweknowisfalling:** Sigh. Hopefully this one isn't quite as boring as the last. I know what I want to do with the story, but I don't feel as though I should just jump from situation to situation, you know? And don't worry about Sirius - he's got himself a thick skin! Thanks for reading!

**Asian-Novelist:** I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!


	4. Foolish Games

**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Foolish Games" is by Jewel and I do not own it in any way. 

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Four: Foolish Games**

_You were always the mysterious one  
With dark eyes and careless hair  
You were fashionably sensitive  
But too cool to care_

Meanwhile, just a flight of stairs above them, that snogging couple was in an empty boy's dormitory room. Remus had Jamie backed up against the wall next to the door as she shimmied out of her black robes, leaving her in plain Muggle clothes - a pair of blue jeans and a tan t-shirt. Remus pulled his robes over his head, his own t-shirt coming with. Jamie trailed her fingers down the large healing scar that had one time been a gash on his bare chest and Remus stopped kissing her neck and looked her in the eye.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, his hands dropping down from her hair to her waist.

"I - I think so," Jamie hesitated, leaning her head against his chest. Jamie had always loved their height difference. He was nearly six inches taller than her at six feet, but they fit together perfectly when he wrapped his arms around her. It was always such a comforting feeling to her.

"No, you're not," Remus said softly.

"I'm sorry," Jamie apologized, burying her face in his chest. She said something, but it was muffled against Remus's skin, causing a shiver to go through his body.

"You know I can't hear you when you do that," Remus said, leading Jamie to his bed.

"I know," Jamie nodded.

"You also know I hate it when you do that," Remus joked.

"I know," Jamie reciprocated, grinning.

"That's my girl," Remus sat back in his bed, pulling Jamie between his legs. She leaned her back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. "What's going on?"

"I'm scared," Jamie said simply.

"About?" Remus pressed, playing with her fingers until he reached the one with his ring on it.

"A lot of things," Jamie admitted. "Remus, do you want children?"

Remus opened his mouth in shock, glad that she couldn't see him. "Uh - er - yeah, I suppose, you know, eventually."

"I've always wanted three kids," Jamie said, "ever since I was a child myself. You know, I don't have any brothers or sisters and I had always wanted some."

Remus sympathized, since he had been an only child as well. Then again, his mum and dad had chosen not to have any children after he was bitten, although they would never admit that to him. "Well, we don't have to have kids right away, you know. We could hold off until - "

"No, see, that's the problem, Remus," Jamie interrupted, sitting up and turning in his lap to face him, her legs wrapped around his waist. "I've been doing some reading - "

"Oh, Jamie, that's not proven at all," Remus groaned, knowing where she was going with this. There was scientific concern that when werewolves had children, there was a chance that the baby, too, would be a werewolf of some sort. However, because so few werewolves, when tested upon, were able to either impregnate others or become pregnant themselves, there was also speculation that, once bitten, the werewolf was sterile.

"It's just - "

"Jamie, one hurdle at a time," Remus said, putting his hands on her arms. "Why don't we think about that wedding thing we got ourselves into first?"

Jamie's eyes were still troubled, but she nodded nonetheless. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't want to upset you, but the mass quantities of alcohol I consumed tonight made it easier."

"Love, if we're getting married, we have to be able to talk to each other," Remus pointed out. "Without brandy, mind you."

"I know, I know," Jamie smiled. "We've made it this long, right?"

"Indeed, we have," Remus agreed. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Jamie said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her. "Can you believe Lily and James got along so well tonight?"

"No, actually," Remus said with a good-natured laugh. He began to say more, but Jamie cut him off when her lips took possession of his mouth - not that he was complaining. Her hands once again followed the long scar down his chest, making Remus flinch slightly since it was still tender. He had acquired it at the last full moon from Sirius, when, James had told him, he had gone after a unicorn in the forest. Madam Pomfrey had put a lotion on it that made it scab and scar right away, but that didn't alleviate the bruise that had formed underneath.

"Sorry," Jamie muttered between kisses on his shoulder.

"It's okay," Remus murmured back, a hand trailing up the back of her sweater, cursing silently as Jamie began to straighten up again.

"Love," she said apologetically. "I'm just wondering what we're going to do about your, er…"

"'Furry little problem'?" Remus quoted James.

"Yeah, that," she nodded, gingerly touching his scar again. "I want to help you."

"Jamie," Remus smiled, kissing her lightly on the cheek before continuing, "You're the reason I even get through each moon cycle. Before I had you it was so hard - but now I know that I have something wonderful to come back to and that makes it easier. You're doing so much already."

Jamie looked doubtful, but she didn't press the matter, other than asking, "Are you sure?"

"Positive, love," he nodded, borrowing her own term of endearment for himself. "I promise."

A small smile was playing on Jamie's lips before she went back to kissing him hard on the lips. Before Remus could even kiss her back, though, Jamie pulled away.

"I think I should go to bed," she said, backing away from him. "I'm not feeling very well since the happy part is wearing off and I want to make sure Lily got into bed alright."

"Okay," Remus agreed, getting to his feet and searching for his shirt. He pulled it over his head and turned to face Jamie, who was standing at the window next to his bed that overlooked the grounds and what seemed like half of Scotland, for that matter.

"No matter how many times I've seen your guy's view, I'm still in the same state of awe," Jamie smiled, crossing her arms.

"Yours can't be that bad," Remus responded, standing next to her.

Jamie let out a snort of laughter. "We overlook the Quidditch field. The only good it's done was back in my fourth year when I had the flu and couldn't go to a game. I could see everything from my room."

"I'm sure Sirius and James would much rather overlook the Quidditch field," Remus noted, taking his glasses off his nightstand as the charm wore off. Normally he was asleep and didn't notice when his eyesight went back to normal.

"You should wear your glasses more often," Jamie told him. "They really suit you."

Remus just smiled and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearing 1:30 am. Jamie seemed to notice and smiled at him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, love," Jamie said, coming up to him and kissing his cheek.

"Good night," Remus said, watching her leave his dormitory.

* * *

"They've been up there an awful long time," Peter sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I'd really love to get some sleep tonight." 

"If I would have known we'd be camping down here, I would have snatched my chess board before they disappeared," Sirius sighed. He looked at his best friend, who was already fast asleep on the couch. 'Couldn't take the excitement,' Sirius thought to himself with a smirk.

Jaclyn, meanwhile, was sitting next to Sirius on one of the couches, waiting for her cousin to come down and looking very troubled. In an effort to make her feel better, Sirius playfully elbowed her in the side, but she didn't even notice she was so deep in her thoughts.

Suddenly, the door to the boy's dormitory slowly opened, revealing Jamie, her robes in her arms and her hair obviously mussed.

"About time," Peter groaned, getting to his feet and pushing past her to go to his room.

"What?" Jamie asked, honestly confused. "You could have come up - we were only talking."

"Sure you were," Jaclyn said simply, getting to her own feet and heading toward the girl's dormitory. "Good night."

"Wait, Jaclyn, hold on," Lauren beckoned, getting to her feet and stumbling after Jaclyn. "We're going to the same place."

After the two had left, Jamie looked from Sirius to the sleeping James and back to Sirius. "Is she alright?"

"No," Sirius said bluntly.

After a few moments of silence, Jamie sat next to Sirius, her face grave. "Look, I know that she's interested in Remus. She thinks I don't, but I do."

Sirius raised an eyebrow to this and said, "If you know, why didn't you do anything about it?"

"Why didn't you do anything when we were together when you knew Remus was interested in me?" Jamie countered.

"But she's your family," Sirius went on.

Jamie brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I know that, Sirius. It's hard for me - it really is," she added when he gave her an unbelieving look. "However, Remus and I are good for each other and we're happy together. I like to think that not only she, but some of our other friends would rather see the two of us happy than miserable." She looked at him pointedly and he pretended not to notice.

Sirius didn't say anything; he only became very interested in the creases in the palm of his hands. After a couple of minutes, he said, "I guess I understand."

"I'm not asking you to," Jamie put simply. "Anyways, I also want to apologize for my behavior these past few weeks. I've been rude to you and I shouldn't be, as you're my fiancé's best friend and I want to be friends with you."

"Things have been rough since we broke up, eh?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Jamie said. "I think I'm mainly the culprit for that, though. Anyways, I'm going to go to bed. Make sure Jamesie doesn't end up sleeping out here - the couch hurts his back and I don't really want to listen to his complaining the next few weeks."

"G'night," Sirius said after her as she went toward the girl's dormitory.

Once Jamie reached the dormitory she shared with Lily, Lauren, and Jaclyn, she heard giggling from inside the room. She sighed and pushed the door open to see the three of them in bed, candles lit.

"What's going on?" Jamie greeted, pulling the hangings from her bed open and going to her trunk to get a pair of pajamas.

"We're playing truth or dare," Lily giggled, falling back into her bed.

"What a lightweight," Lauren pointed out.

"It's your turn," Jaclyn said to her cousin, the laughter that was in Lily and Lauren's voices vacant in her own. "Truth or dare?"

"Um," Jamie thought, weighing her options. She really didn't want to leave her bed once she flopped in, so she said, "Truth."

"Okay," Jaclyn agreed, thinking for a moment and allowing Jamie to change and get into bed. "I have one. Have you ever slept with Remus?"

A gasp came from Lily's bed as she whipped around to look at Jamie. Lauren snorted from across the room. "Oh, please go into details," she said sarcastically.

Jamie gave Jaclyn a very questioning look and said simply, "No."

"Oh, that is complete and utter baloney," Lauren announced and Jamie could see that Jaclyn's face said the same thing. "You've been together for two years and are getting married in one more and you've never had sex?"

"No, we haven't," Jamie insisted.

"Why not?" Lauren asked incredulously. "You can't tell me that the situation has never arisen."

"Well, yeah," Jamie admitted. "But, we've never gone that far. I have my reasons."

"Anyways," Lily interrupted, sobering greatly and coming to Jamie's rescue. "I'm going to snag Jamie's turn and ask Lauren."

Jamie rolled over onto her side, ignoring the feeling that her cousin was still staring at her from the bed across from her. Jamie cut her hand through the air in her bed, bringing her hangings to close around her.

* * *

The next morning, Jaclyn awoke to a loud tapping on the window next to her. She looked at her watch that she kept on at all times and saw that it was nearly 11:30 am. She got up to see that it was Sirius's owl, Spot. Jaclyn quickly took the note from the owl and shooed it away before one of the other girls saw. 

As she climbed into bed, Jaclyn quietly ripped open the envelope, not wanting to wake any of the others from their alcohol-induced comas. The letter was simple, short, and to the point.

"We need to talk. Meet me by the old beech tree around noon. - S"

Jaclyn sighed heavily and crumpled the note up and throwing it into the wastebasket by her bed. She had a feeling that this was going to happen - especially after the night before. Jaclyn didn't know what she wanted anymore. Their plan seemed to only bring the two closer together rather than in Jaclyn and Sirius's arms.

Jaclyn looked at her cousin's bed, the hangings still drawn closed. She knew that she was out of line by asking such a private thing of Jamie, but she couldn't help it. After the two of them had disappeared, she began to realize what kind of relationship she and Sirius were attempting to tamper with and the guilt was weighing down on her like Lily's bag of books.

Jaclyn jumped when the room to the dormitory opened, Jamie walking in wearing an off-white bathrobe. In one arm held a basket, which contained her toiletries and in the other was a towel. Her hair was dripping.

"Hello," Jaclyn said shyly, still shocked that her cousin wasn't in bed as she suspected.

"Hi," Jamie replied curtly, swiftly walking to her bed and putting her basket on her dresser. She took a brush to her hair and stared at her reflection in the mirror. "Sleep well?"

"Not really," Jaclyn admitted.

After a tense silent moment that felt as though it went on for days, Jaclyn got to her feet and quickly changed into some clothes. She put her hair in a ponytail and turned to see Jamie full clothed and lounging on her bed, Potions book open in her lap.

"So, uh, I'm meeting someone outside," Jaclyn stammered, unsure of why she was announcing this to Jamie.

"Okay," Jamie responded, not looking up from her Potions book. Jaclyn stared at her as she wrote something into the book, apparently taking notes. Feeling her stare, Jamie looked up. "Anything else?"

"Yes, I mean, no," Jaclyn shook her head fervently.

Jamie looked back down at her book. Jaclyn sighed and started toward the door when Jamie's voice stopped her. "Look, I know what you're trying to do."

Jaclyn stopped dead in her tracks. "Uh, what?"

Jamie slammed her book shut and got to her feet, taking a few angry steps toward her. "Don't play coy with me, Jackie," she said, using the nickname that was reserved only for family. "Just - " her eyes screwed up as though she was trying very hard to control herself, "Just stop. Please?"

Jaclyn pursed her lips together, trying to hold back tears that have been threatening to spill for weeks now. She took a deep breath and turned on her heel, not saying anything to her cousin as she breezed out of the dormitory.

* * *

Sirius sat in the shade of the beech tree that he and his friends had so many different memories from the past years under. There was the time the giant squid nearly dragged Peter into the water. Another time, Sirius and James swore they heard the mermaids, although Remus claimed that he hadn't been affected by their singing at all - whether or not he said that to keep out of trouble from Jamie or that he hadn't actually heard them was unknown to him. 

As Sirius stared out into the dark waters of the vast lake, he heard the snap of a twig breaking under someone's weight behind him. "Hi," came Jaclyn's voice.

"Hey," Sirius said, turning and looking at her. Her eyes were red, but it was obvious she was making a valiant effort to have Sirius not know she had been crying. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, just brilliant," Jaclyn replied, sitting herself next to Sirius. "My cousin hates me. How are you doing?"

Sirius grimaced. "We should probably rethink our efforts."

"You think?" Jaclyn asked sarcastically.

"She said something to me about it last night," Sirius admitted. "I'm pretty sure she knows I'm involved, as well."

"She bloody well knows I am," Jaclyn groaned, pulling her knees to her chest. "What should we do?"

"I think the best idea would probably be to go back to admiring from afar as we have been for the past years," Sirius answered her. "Then I think that you should probably talk to your cousin. I'm used to her hating me - she has for years."

"She doesn't hate you," Jaclyn said. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but the only reason Jamie agreed to date Remus in the first place was to make you jealous since you had to go and cheat on her with that Ravenclaw girl. She had hoped that it would knock some sense into you and apologize. You took too long, though, and she fell for Remus even though she wasn't intending to. "

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked, his mouth hanging open angrily. "Merlin, had I known - "

"I know," Jaclyn shrugged. "It kills me, because I know things about her that Lily doesn't even know. She really isn't as wonderful and proper and - "

"No one is," Sirius interrupted.

"I know," Jaclyn pouted, her eyes starting to well up again. "I'm just upset with her and want her to seem like that bad guy instead of me."

"Oh, don't cry, Jaclyn," Sirius turned and beckoned her to come closer so he could put an arm around her shoulder. "Look, things like this happen. Just talk to her and you can work things out."

Jaclyn wiped her face with her palm. "I know - I just hate having to deal with this."

"No, you just don't want to admit you're wrong," Sirius corrected. "We're a lot more alike than anyone would think - you just hide it better than me."

Jaclyn straightened up and looked at Sirius. Looking into his blue eyes, she realized that she really didn't know a lot about him - not as much as her other friends, that is. She hated to admit it, but she accredited that to all of the rumors she would hear flying around about not only Sirius, but also his family as a whole. Sirius had been known as quite a womanizer, if you could call a young teenager such a thing, in the years prior, despite that he had shook that lifestyle soon after Jamie broke up with him. As for his family, while it wasn't public that they were in with the Lord Voldemort that had been rising, it was obvious that they supported his cause. Jaclyn, whose father was a Muggle, was always intimidated by that notion.

"I - ," Sirius began, but was interrupted by Jaclyn kissing him. Taken off guard, Sirius's eyes opened wide and, at first, he tried to push away. As soon as he began to kiss her back, however, Jaclyn jumped back, her eyes as wide as Sirius's had been.

"Oh - oh no," Jaclyn leaped to her feet, backing up from Sirius slowly. "I - uh - I have to go."

"Wait, Jaclyn - wait!" Sirius called after her, but Jaclyn kept running across the grounds without so much as a look back and didn't stop until she was safe in her dormitory.

Once there, Jaclyn noticed that her roommates were gone - most likely at lunch. Desperate to take her mind off the fact she just kissed Sirius Black, she dumped out her book bag on her bed, only to find her Ancient Runes letter on top. She was really getting along with the person she had been paired with, although they agreed to be anonymous until the end of the project. She knew that it couldn't be anyone who knew her well, seeing as she used her own middle name as her pseudonym.

"Dear Alayne,

"I completely understand what you're saying. Sometimes I feel as though I need to pretend I am someone I'm not just to impress the people I've known all my life. It's as though I started at Hogwarts showing off and goofing around and now everyone expects me to be that same goofy person. Every so often, I wish I could start fresh, just to see if people would still like me.

"Oh, and to answer your question: Yes, I am a Gryffindor. That really narrows it down in the class. Are you sure you don't want to out ourselves?

"Yours, Orion"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oh man! Oh man. Am I giving you what you all want? Am I going to tear it all away at the last second? Dun dun dun. :) Also, if you guys could be frank with me and let me know if I ever make Jaclyn, Jamie, or Lauren too Mary-Sue, PLEASE tell me and give me suggestions to undo such travestries. :D

* * *

**LandUnderWave:** I hope you like my cousin's fics. Also, I totally get the "U" shape, now that you mention it. :) Thanks for reading! 

**Nicoley117:** Aw, thanks so much! That's such a great compliment. Thanks so much for reading!

**Asian-Novelist: **I agree that it's becoming fast-paced. I hate reading things like that, so I hate even more writing it. I'm trying to take a step back and do what I can with slowing it down. I'm glad you enjoy it so much - that's such an amazing compliment to me. Thanks!

**La Mariposa:** Jac, I know you'd eat my heart if I made you a lush.. And of course I could get to your house - that's what those GPS things our parents bought are for:D As for the wise drunks, you'd be surprised how fast you get over the crazy part of being drunk. It's also really easy to sober up quick, espcially when something emotional happens - such as your fiance being a werewolf..


	5. Beautiful

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Beautiful" is by Bethony Dillon and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Five: Beautiful**

_I love to hear you say  
Who I am is quite enough  
You make me worthy of love and beautiful_

"Eleanor," Sirius breathed heavily, trying to pry a blonde girl off him so he could talk to her. "El - "

"Yes?" said the girl, her gray eyes level with his own and her hands in Sirius's hair. "Something wrong?"

"No, of course not," Sirius assured her. "Would you accompany me to that Halloween Ball?"

Eleanor squealed, grinning from ear to ear. "I thought you'd never ask me! I turned down two invitations just today holding out for you. To be honest, I was really worried that you weren't going to ask me, what with you taking so long since it's tomorrow and all. We hadn't talked since, like, the middle of September, but, when I got your owl today…"

Sirius began to lose interest in what she was saying, mainly because he hadn't been relying on asking her as it was. While Jamie was obviously out of the question, he had thought that he could possibly go with Jaclyn, what with the kiss only a week prior.

"Look, Sirius, we need to talk real quick," Jaclyn stopped him the next day while he was on his way through the common room to go to bed. "I want to apologize for yesterday. I think I let my emotions take control of me."

Sirius swallowed hard, but nodded. "I understand - things like that happen."

"I really am sorry," Jaclyn had continued, not looking him in the eye. "I normally - "

"Don't even worry about it," Sirius assured her. "It'll stay between the two of us."

After that, he had resigned to the fact that unless he wanted to be under endless torment from his friends for not having a date to a ball for the first time in three years, when they were allowed to start attending, he needed to find a date. Nearing the end of last year and into the beginning of this year, he had a fling with Eleanor Prewitt, a sixth year Ravenclaw prefect. While she was very pretty, she had a tendency to talk without stopping, causing Sirius to zone out very easily.

"Sirius - Sirius! Are you listening?"

"Of course, Ellie," Sirius smiled, coming out of his thoughts. "I'll meet you down in the Great Hall tomorrow, then?"

"Sounds lovely," Eleanor replied, getting to her feet as Sirius did the same. "I can hardly wait!"

Sirius only smiled as Eleanor lifted herself onto her tiptoes in order to kiss him goodbye. He watched her exit the Astronomy Tower, almost dancing with excitement. In all honesty, Sirius did feel bad for asking her just so he didn't go alone. He didn't know much about her other than her age, house, and that she was a so-so kisser.

Sirius gathered his bag and started toward the exit when someone walked through the entrance, shocking Sirius to the point of almost dropping his things.

"Moony?"

"Padfoot?" Remus asked, just as shocked. "What are you doing up here?"

"I could ask you the same question," Sirius pointed out, glad to see that his friend was alone.

"I had to think," Remus shrugged, glancing out the window to the nearly completely waxed moon. "I come up here to be alone, even if there is occasionally a snogging couple that I interrupt."

"Do you want me to leave?" Sirius asked.

"No, it's fine," Remus replied, leading Sirius to the outdoor platform that had a number of telescopes they had used in Astronomy countless times. "You never said why you were up here."

"Why do you think?"

"Oh, that blonde Ravenclaw I passed on my way up?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not bad, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled at his friend before leaning on the stone ledge that kept him from falling down to the grounds. "She's nice enough."

"Maybe you should look for someone more along the lines of perfect?" Remus suggested. "I never really understood why you would settle on these girls that wouldn't last more than a few weeks. The only girl you dated for a substantial amount of time was - "

"Jamie," Sirius finished for him. "Nearly a year; we were only fifteen, though."

Remus pulled himself onto the ledge, his feet dangling. "Doesn't make it any less real."

Sirius stood silent for a few moments, not knowing what to say to his friend of so many years. He opened his mouth, attempting to change the subject in some way, but Remus interrupted him.

"You never held that against me, did you?"

"What?" Sirius replied dumbly.

"Jamie and me," Remus clarified. "At the time you said it was okay, but I always worried that you'd hate me for it."

"To be honest," Sirius answered, "it didn't matter at all to me at the time. After all, I was fifteen, one big hormone, and was cheating on her with anyone that would let me. There was a line of girls after Jamie waiting for me. Don't get me wrong - I'm not proud of what I did."

"I understand," Remus said. "I guess I just got a vibe of some sort from you at times."

"Moony, I don't say this often, but I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable," Sirius said, looking him in the eye. "Now, don't go around telling people I'm apologizing. If people know I gave you one, then everyone's going to want one."

Remus laughed good-naturedly, then returned his gaze back to the land surrounding the castle. "Oh, Padfoot, it's happening, isn't it?"

"What?" Sirius asked, half expecting to look back at Remus and have him be half wolf.

"We're growing up," Remus sighed. "When was the last time you and James did a prank?"

"Uh, er - "

"See," Remus pointed out. "A few years ago you'd say, 'Two hours ago,' and launch into some story about how you turned Snape orange and hung him upside down from the Slytherin banner in the Great Hall."

"That's a good idea," Sirius said, thinking. "Moony, why didn't you come up with ideas like that?"

"I learned from the best," Remus smirked. "It's a little shocking, I suppose. I mean, Lily and James are finally together after six years of failed attempt after failed attempt by James. Hell, even Peter is trying to pursue Lauren. You've already been accepted into Auror training. Jamie and I are talking about flowers and churches." Remus swallowed hard and Sirius was surprised by the amount of emotion in his friend's eyes. "I'm really scared, Padfoot."

"I'm sure everything will work out, Moo - "

"But what if it doesn't?" Remus asked, turning to face Sirius again. "You and I both know how likely it will be for me to get a decent job. A few weeks ago, I overheard Jamie talking to Lily about trying to be a Healer at St. Mungo's rather than an Auror like she's been dreaming since she was little because she didn't think it would be practical enough for us since it doesn't pay as well as other Ministry jobs."

Once again, Sirius felt guilty for his behavior, especially when combined with Jaclyn's, and he glanced away from Remus's gaze. "Do you know where the two of you are going to live?"

Remus sighed heavily and Sirius knew the answer before he received it. "No idea - we're going to look around London during Christmas holiday. The problem is, we don't have a lot of money and also need to find a place that will be safe for when I change."

Sirius nodded, not thinking of it. He had bought a flat the previous summer with some money he inherited. James was already set on moving in with him once the end of the year came, although as quick as his and Lily's relationship was going, Sirius wouldn't be surprised if they were married with children by the end of term.

"You know, Moony, if you ever need anything," Sirius offered, coming from a wealthy family. Although his mother had disowned him the second he ran away to live with the Potters when he was sixteen, he still had quite a bit of inheritance money left and other allies in his family. "You know, like money or something, all you have to do is ask."

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus said, but his tone made it obvious that he wouldn't be taking charity, even if it was from one of his best friends.

"But, honestly, Remus, if two people can get past the hurdles that you and Jamie are about to endure, it's the two of you," Sirius reassured.

Remus smirked at his friend. "That means a lot, especially coming from someone who was trying to break the two of us up."

"Oh, ouch," Sirius grimaced. "You know about that?"

"How do you think Jamie figured it out?" Remus nodded. "Besides, I found this folded up bird in the common room. Inside it said something about making me jealous? I don't know if you know anything about that, by chance."

"Yeah, about that - "

"Don't worry about it, Padfoot," Remus let out a laugh. "I know how you work and I knew that eventually you'd realize that this is one prank you wouldn't be able to follow through with. We've been mates for quite some time, haven't we?"

"I should have known from the start," Sirius admitted. "You may have pretended not to enjoy our pranks, but that doesn't mean you aren't a Marauder at heart."

Remus only smiled, looking out over the grounds. "I should go back down to the common room. I told Jamie I would meet her about now. She went with Lily and Jaclyn to pick up her costume." He shook his head.

Before Remus could descend from where he was sitting, Sirius stopped him. "Look, Remus, as you said, we've been mates for quite some time now, so I figure that we can talk about basically anything without either of us getting too steamed, right?"

Remus sighed and warranted a smile at Sirius. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, basically, I guess I don't completely understand why you're even into Jamie in the way that you are," Sirius said rather quickly, so Remus had to strain to understand him. "Before her, you were only with that one Ravenclaw girl, what was her name?"

"Alison," Remus offered with a tad bit of distaste in his tone.

"Yeah, her," Sirius nodded. "She seemed so perfect. The both of you got great grades, always in the library, eventually both became prefects."

"Until I began to realize all we did was sit in the library and read," Remus explained. "While Alison was - well, is - a great girl, to be honest, she bored the living days out of me. Besides, during that relationship, we so much as kissed maybe twice and one of those I might have imagined."

Sirius snorted, which caused Remus to hit him good-naturedly. "Whereas, Jamie is filled with this spirit and charisma that just keeps me going from day to day. Despite how heartbroken she had been when we started to cozy up way back in the day, she still made me laugh in a way I didn't think possible. She makes me happy," he finished simply with a shrug.

As if on cue, three girls disappeared out of nowhere, stories below the two boys.

"Lily, you prat, for the last time, an Invisibility Cloak doesn't work if you keep pulling it off of us," floated up to them, who instantly recognized Jamie's voice.

"It's not my fault it doesn't properly fit us all," Lily retorted.

"I told you we should have just used that tunnel," Jaclyn said, continuing forward without the cloak.

Remus turned to Sirius and hopped off the ledge. He grinned and shrugged. "I love her, it's as simple as that. You'll find it someday, Padfoot." He began to walk away but turned and said over his shoulder, "We probably shouldn't mention to them that it's fit the four of us plenty of times."

Sirius nodded and laughed at Remus as he left him standing alone on the platform. Sirius walked forward and looked out at where Lily, Jamie, and Jaclyn were walking across the grounds to the entrance. Jaclyn had obviously made amends with her cousin, since Jamie had an arm around each of them, a purchase in her right hand, and they were singing show-tunes at the top of their lungs. They obviously weren't very concerned with being caught on grounds after hours.

Sirius thought about Jaclyn and shook his head. He wasn't sure if she was on his mind because she had kissed him or if he had genuine feelings for her. '_It would be far too easy_,' he resigned.

* * *

"Oh, love, look at what I got!" Jamie was saying to Remus as Sirius entered the Gryffindor common room. 

Jamie jumped into Remus's lap, landing atop his books. She opened her bag to show the silky burnt orange dress that she had ordered and picked up that night. "Won't I look absolutely gorgeous in this color?" She struck a pose as though she was a model for 'Which Witch', a popular magical fashion magazine.

"You don't need robes to look gorgeous," Remus replied correctly, obviously having been put in the position previously. "You are beautiful in anything you wear."

"Damn, you've been well trained," James snorted from the floor where he was playing chess with Peter.

"Are you saying you wouldn't say something like that to me?" Lily asked, batting her eyes. "Even if it's the truth?"

"Uh, er," James stammered, glancing around the room nervously.

"Oh, this is entertaining," Sirius grinned, sitting on the half of the couch Remus and Jamie weren't taking up. "Can I put James into an awkward position next?"

"Absolutely not," James protested, "Bishop to E-5. Checkmate, mate."

"Damn!" Peter exclaimed.

"Oh, my little chess hero!" Lily cheered, kissing James on the cheek.

"I'm going to go up to bed," Jamie announced, then kissing Remus on the cheek. "See you all in the morning."

"I'll join you," Lily decided, getting to her feet. "Good night!"

Once they were in their dormitory, the two girls quickly changed into their pajamas. Before Jamie could settle into her four-poster, Lily jumped on the end of her bed and stared at Jamie.

"Yes?" Jamie questioned her best friend. Then, her face fell slightly. "Oh, girl talk?"

"No need to look so depressed," Lily replied, looking wounded.

"What's up?" Jamie asked.

"Do you like James?"

"Never liked him," Jamie joked. "Quite a prat - actually, he's quite perfect for you."

"Thanks," Lily rolled her eyes. "I like him, too."

"About time," Jamie smiled. "He's a catch. If only he wasn't my cousin…"

"Oh, gross," Lily scrunched up her nose, jumping to her feet. "Jamie, that was a whole new line of gross you absolutely did not have to cross."

"You know you liked it," Jamie joked, shooing her away. "Good night!"

* * *

"Do I look alright?" Lily asked self consciously, looking herself over in the full-length mirror one more time. She was clad in a light blue, plaid dress and her hair was in two braids. She even had a basket that she had charmed a stuff black dog to move around so it looked nearly real. She had to explain her costume to her friends with the help of Jaclyn multiple times, although they didn't completely understand the concept of "The Wizard of Oz" and just how a movie and television worked. 

"For the last time, love, you look absolutely wonderful," Jamie reassured, joining Lily at the mirror and using one more bobby pin to ensure that her hair would stay put. She was wearing the extravagant orange gown she had picked up the night before. She had called being a princess, tiara and all, for the ball when it was first announced at the beginning of the month.

"At least you guys are good costumes," Lauren complained, looking down at her Quidditch uniform.

"Well, maroon is a really good color on you," Jaclyn complimented, her own costume quite simple as she and her date had decided to go as Muggles. Being half-Muggle, she had a lot of Muggle clothes for when visiting her mother's side of the family. She was wearing a black t-shirt that advertised the Muggle band "The Rolling Stones" and a pair of blue jeans.

"Jaclyn, who are you going with again?" Lily asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Gideon Prewett."

"No kidding?" Jamie asked, her eyes wide. "Oh, he is so handsome."

"He's that, oh, what was her name, Molly? Yeah, his younger brother," Lauren asked, her eyes squinting as she thought hard. "Sort of tall, bright red hair - "

"That's him," Jaclyn confirmed.

"Wow, a little bit jealous," Lauren sighed, looking at the clock. "If you lot don't hurry, I'm going to leave without you."

"Someone's in quite an awful hurry," Jamie smirked. "Anxious for some alone time with Peter, hm?"

"Oh, shut it," Lauren said bashfully.

"Is Lauren Scott embarrassed?" Jaclyn asked incredulously. "Alert the 'Prophet'!"

"That's it! I'm leaving."

"Hold on, hold on," Lily rushed. "We're coming."

Five minutes later, the four girls emerged into the common room, where there was a lot of bustle of friend's laughing at each other's costumes and people trying to find their dates. There were even a few third years looking hopefully at the older students, as though they might change their minds at last minute and invite them to the ball.

"Oh, there's Peter," Lauren said, smiling. "Sirius's uniform doesn't fit him right at all. I'll see you three down there."

"Jaclyn!" shouted Gideon from across the room. She smiled at him and turned to face Lily and Jamie.

"Can you believe it?" she asked excitedly. "He is _such_ a catch!"

Jamie and Lily laughed at her as she ran over to him, who was from a pure-blood family and his Muggle clothes were less than, er, Muggle.

"I'm supposed to meet James down at the entrance," Lily explained. "He had a last minute detention and was coming straight from serving it. I'll see you in a bit?"

"Of course," Jamie smiled, standing awkwardly, her eyes darting around the room to look for Remus.

"Guess who?" someone put their hands over Jamie's eyes.

"Remus, what - " she turned around to see Sirius, dressed up, Jamie guessed, as Romeo, a character from a play some Muggle bloke had written that they had studied in Muggle Studies before Jamie dropped the course. "Sirius? What do you want?"

"You looked lonely, so I thought I'd pay you a visit," Sirius said. "Besides, Remus told me to tell you he'd be down in a moment."

"Oh, thanks," Jamie replied, feeling like a prat. "Romeo?"

"Yeah, it was Eleanor's idea," Sirius nodded, looking as though he wasn't too sure about the costume. "I'm wearing tights."

Jamie laughed aloud and looked down. Sure enough, he was wearing grey tights that made his legs look skinnier than they were. "You have hot legs. Maybe you should think about wearing them full time?"

"Doubtful," Sirius replied. "Where's Jackie - I mean, Jaclyn?"

Jamie raised an eyebrow at his mess up, but chose not to comment on it. "She already met up with her date."

"Who is she going with?"

"Gideon Prewett," Jamie answered. "Why all the questions?"

"Just curious," Sirius shot back. "I was supposed to meet Eleanor ages ago. I told Remus I'd stay with you until he got here because he said you'd feel daft standing by yourself, but if you don't mind…"

Jamie smiled at how well Remus knew her, but nodded to Sirius. "Go ahead. I wouldn't want you to get trouble for my expense."

"Thanks," Sirius said, nodding goodbye to her.

Only a few seconds later, two arms wrapped Jamie in a hug from behind and she recognized Remus's chest instantly. "Hi, love."

He spun her around and Jamie saw that he looked perfect in the 'Prince Charming' costume they had found the weekend prior during the Hogsmeade weekend. She knew that he would be turning in only one night, but he hid it well, as he had wanted this to be perfect for her.

"You look absolutely stunning, m'lady," Remus said, taking her hand and bowing as he kissed it gently.

"Why thank you, kind sir," Jamie grinned. "Shall we join the common folk below?"

"I believe so," Remus said, offering up his arm for her to take to escort her to the Great Hall.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **I had been planning to have this finished by this morning, but it was like pulling teeth to write it. This isn't my favorite chapter. I like the ending, but the beginning was draggy, but necessary for the future (you'll see)._

_Now, before you say it - I do, in fact, realize that Jaclyn and Sirius aren't together. I can't make you guys happy all of the time now, can I? Besides..patience is a virtue.._

_One more thing, I dedicate this chapter to my little cousin, only because she says that the song "Beautiful" is the story of her life. Who might my cosuin be? Well, if you don't know already, she's La Mariposa and you should check out her stories if you haven't already._

_Thanks for the reviews!_


	6. Le Tango De Roxanne

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Le Tango De Roxanne" is from "Moulin Rouge" and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Six: Le Tango De Roxanne**

_His eyes on your face  
His hand upon your hand  
His lips caress your skin  
It's more than I can stand_

When Sirius reached the entrance to the Great Hall, he couldn't help but scan the crowd for Jaclyn's curly blonde head rather than Eleanor's straight blonde one. He shook off the feeling and noticed the extravagantly decorated Hall. This was going to be the last Halloween Ball at Hogwarts, due to some complaint the teachers had, since Halloween doesn't always fall on a weekend and there is no holiday. Sirius looked around at the giant pumpkins, Hagrid's pride, and the glittering strings of fairies that floated around the room. The night sky was sparkling, the almost full moon high in the sky.

"Siri!" Eleanor called, causing Sirius to wince. His mother had called him that when he was young - before his nickname changed to "filthy blood-traitor" and "embarrassment to the great Black name."

"Hi, Eleanor," Sirius turned. She was wearing a intricately detailed dress and, even Sirius had to admit, looked beautiful. "You look great."

"Do you really think so?" she asked, looking down at her gown and looking as though she were about to burst. "Thanks!"

"Padfoot," James came up to him. His eyes were darting around and he looked nervous in his Scarecrow costume. He didn't know anything about "The Wizard of Oz" either, but he agreed to the outfit, since he didn't want Lily to think twice. "Have you seen Lily? What if she decided she doesn't like me and is out with some other guy and - "

"I'm glad to see you have such faith in me," Lily announced her presence, rolling her eyes.

"Give him a break," Sirius stuck up for James. "He's used to you turning him down."

"Things change," Lily smiled, putting an arm around James.

From behind Sirius, Eleanor cleared her throat loudly and shot Sirius an annoyed look. Sirius ignored her for a moment, but then remembered that she was his date.

"Oh, guys, this is Eleanor," Sirius introduced. "Eleanor, this is my best mate, James, and his girl friend, Lily."

"Nice to meet you," Eleanor said politely, but not shying away from giving Lily a threatening glare.

"The pleasure's all ours," Lily replied and then, under her breathe, "I think."

James burst out laughing, which caused Eleanor to give him a dirty look. "Come on, Siri, let's go dance." She grabbed onto his wrist and started to pull him towards the dance floor and away from his friends.

Sirius shot them an apologetic look and, once they were out of earshot, Lily asked, "Siri?"

"I'm betting, eh, two days," James said, weighing the odds in his head. "Well, maybe three, since tomorrow is Sunday and he probably won't leave the Tower."

"Honestly, I don't see her lasting past tonight," Lily admitted, looking at the two of them from across the room.

"Want to put a Galleon on it?" James asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Do you do this often?" Lily asked, smirking.

"How do you think Remus was able to afford all of those gifts he gave Jamie for Valentine's Day last year?" James joked. "He's a good guesser."

"All right, then," Lily agreed, sticking her hand toward him to properly seal the deal. "One Galleon, then?"

"Sounds great," James nodded, taking Lily's hand, then pulling her close to kiss her on the lips. "Now, let's dance."

"Oh, Lord, is that Peter and Lauren shirking off already?" Remus asked, hand-in-hand with Jamie as they walked into the Hall. Sure enough, their two friends were hold hands and hurrying out to the gardens.

Jamie pretended to be disgusted and shook her head. "Those crazy kids."

"I tell you," Remus agreed. "Back when I was their age…"

Jamie laughed and led Remus to a table. She wasn't much of a dancer and, honestly, didn't really like going to the Balls, but did anyways because her friends went. Besides, she was wearing a gorgeous dress and wasn't going to be able to wear it anywhere else.

After a few moments, Jamie looked at Remus, who was staring at the band, The Witching Hour, that was growing popular at the time. "You know, I heard that no one is down by the Quidditch field tonight. Want to go look?"

"Yup," Remus quickly agreed, getting to his feet, taking Jamie's hand, and hurrying out of the Hall.

Jaclyn watched her cousin blast out of the Hall as though a hippogriff had sat down at her table and laughed. "What's up?" Gideon asked, bringing her a cup of punch.

"Oh, it's just my cousin," Jaclyn shrugged, taking the cup. "She and Remus can't keep their hands off of each other nowadays."

"They're getting married, right?" Gideon asked.

"In the fall," Jaclyn nodded.

"That's insane," Gideon commented in a low whistle. "I couldn't imagine getting married so young."

"Well, they've been together for two years," Jaclyn replied offhandedly. "They're perfect for each other, too. It works out for the best, I guess." She wasn't sure if she had said that last part to convince herself or Gideon.

After a few seconds, Gideon asked, "Are you okay?"

"You know what?" Jaclyn asked, a huge smile on her face, "I think that I finally am. Let's go dance."

* * *

"So, do you want to go snog?" Eleanor asked Sirius, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I'm sure we can find somewhere, you know, private." 

"Yeah, uh-huh," Sirius said distractedly, his eyes on a dancing couple across the floor. It was nearing midnight and it had taken him nearly the entire ball to find Jaclyn amidst the other students dressed as anything from goblins to teachers to kitchen utensils. Since he found her, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, especially since he noticed that she had come with Gideon Prewett.

"Great!" Eleanor exclaimed. "Where should we go look?"

"Yeah, that'd be fine," Sirius replied.

"Sirius Black!" Eleanor scolded and then pouted. "You're not paying any attention to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sirius came back down to earth, looking Eleanor in the eye. "I'm so sorry, my head has been elsewhere. I think the late hour is getting to me."

Eleanor took this as a good excuse and nodded. "It's okay. As I was saying, do you want to go somewhere and snog a bit?"

Sirius nodded, not commenting on how unnaturally forward this girl was. "Sure thing. Let's go down to the Quidditch pitch. We can go into the Gryffindor locker room."

"Are you sure no one is going to be there?" Eleanor asked him.

"Positive," Sirius nodded. "You need a password in order to get in and only the members on the team know it."

"Great!" Eleanor said excitedly, leading Sirius across the Hall and out onto the grounds.

"Well, Miss Evans, I do believe you're going to lose this bet," James gloated, pointing to his best friend and his date as they zigzagged across the crowd.

"The night is but young, Mr. Potter," Lily replied simply as James dropped her into a dip on the dance floor.

* * *

"Oh, Remus," Jamie sighed, her fiancé's lips on her bare collar bone due to the cut of the dress. Remus had taken off the vest and white button up of his costume, leaving him in a wife beater and costume pants, while he had Jamie pushed up against a row of lockers. 

"Yes?" he asked her, his right hand slowly sliding up her side, feeling the soft silk of the gown, while the other stay planted on her hip. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's perfect," Jamie said, smiling and putting a hand on his cheek. "You're perfect. We're perfect."

Remus smiled back at Jamie, kissing her tenderly on her lips and pulling her closer to him. She allowed him to lower her to the ground and she tried to ignore how cold it was on her back. He continued to kiss her, pushing past the puffy skirt of the two-piece dress and brought his hands to her hair that, despite how many bobby pins she had used, managed to become tousled and fell out of its French twist.

Suddenly, they heard a voice from behind the door that led to the small locker room.

"Funny, usually it just has the password on it," said the voice. "Alohomora."

Before the door could open, Remus jumped to his feet and said, "Someone's already in here."

"Moony?" Sirius squinted, Eleanor trying to see past him from behind.

"Padfoot?" Remus questioned in the same tone as Sirius.

"What are - er, that's a stupid question," Sirius began, looking at Jamie sitting on the floor, who looked quite annoyed at his presence. "Sorry, I just thought it'd be - I didn't mean to, uh - hope we didn't interrupt - we'll just, er - "

"Sorry, you two!" Eleanor apologized for the both of them, pulling Sirius out of the doorway and quickly closing the door. "Come on, Siri, let's go to the Ravenclaw…" her voice drifted off.

"Siri?" Jamie asked, her nose scrunched up.

"I've heard worse," Remus continued standing. "That prat."

"Is that one of them?" Jamie joked. When Remus didn't laugh or even give her a smile, she continued, "Oh, love, he didn't know we'd be in here. Don't be mad at him."

Remus sighed resignedly and said, "I'm not. It's just…I wanted this to be perfect. It's our last Hogwarts Ball and - "

"We have that Farewell Gala for the seventh years at the end of term," Jamie reminded him, but Remus shook his head in dismay.

"I looked ahead already - it falls on a full moon."

"Oh, I didn't realize," Jamie said quietly, then brightened. "Well, we'll just have to make up for the interruption, now won't we?"

Remus grinned and lowered him back into Jamie's lap. He kissed her softly and Jamie put a hand on his chest, pushing his back slightly.

"Um, Remus, love, there's something I haven't told you," Jamie said quietly, biting her lip.

"You're pregnant," Remus joked. When she didn't smile, his face fell. He tilted his head, his face questioning. "Should I be afraid?"

"No - no, I don't think so," Jamie answered far too quickly. "Look, I haven't told my mum and dad about us yet."

"What?" Remus demanded. "Do you mean us being together in general or the engagement? Because, I don't know if you've noticed, but both are kind of important."

"Please don't be upset," Jamie pleaded, her eyes filled with tears, something that didn't happen very often. "You have to understand."

"What is there to understand?" Remus asked heatedly, backing off of Jamie and getting to his feet. "Are you ashamed of us? Is that what this is? Are you embarrassed to be not only dating, but about to marry a werewolf?"

"No, Remus!" Jamie insisted, the tears threatening to spill now. "That's not it! I couldn't be more in love and more excited to marry you - don't you see that? It's just, well, you've never actually met my parents and my dad…" She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. "Love, he's just scared, I think. He doesn't want to see me get hurt. And yes," she said as he opened his mouth angrily, "a lot of it has to do with you being a werewolf, but another large part is that we're only seventeen. I'm their only child and they worry easily."

Remus opened his mouth, then shut it. He looked at her as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and looked away from her. 'Damn,' he thought, his gaze rising to the ceiling.

"I've written my Aunt Janine, you know, James's mum," Jamie spoke up, getting to her feet. "She's my dad's sister and she said she'd try to warm him up the situation for me. I just want them to love you as much as I do and I want you to be able to get along with them." She put her arms around his waist and he didn't protest. "They're my family and you'll be part of it so soon and I want it to be great for everyone." Jamie looked up and made eye contact with him. "And even if things aren't great with them, I don't care. We're going to get married September 9th and it's going to be great - with or without them."

Remus pulled Jamie close to him so her head was on his chest. "I'm sorry I shouted."

"You didn't shout," Jamie replied. "You had every right to be upset. After all, your mum was so excited when you told her."

"She never thought her werewolf son would get married, is all," Remus sighed.

"Love, you're so much more than just a werewolf," Jamie said, pressing closer to him. "I wish you'd see that."

* * *

"Oh, Siri," Eleanor said, killing the mood just one more time by reminding Sirius of his mum. Trying to ignore the feeling, Sirius allowed his hand to creep up Eleanor's back, but a feeling shot through him, making him almost feel nauseous. 

Eleanor gave him a wounded look as he pushed her off of him, one of his hands in his hair, pushing it out of his face. "Bloody," Sirius whispered to himself, his face hot, but he didn't think that it was from the heat between him and Eleanor.

"What it your problem?" Eleanor demanded, not showing much concern. "Damn, Sirius, I think that I've been more than considerate tonight, seeing as you couldn't keep your eyes off of the other couples, as though you'd rather have been at the dance with all of those other girls instead of me. Honestly - a girl can only take so much! You know what, Marjorie warned me that last time she tried to pursue some kind of relationship with you, all you did was…"

Sirius felt his forehead, which was clammy and warm. He looked around the Ravenclaw locker room and thought to Remus and Jamie, who were only a few yards away in the Gryffindor. He wondered if they were still there and what they were doing if they were. He shuddered, wishing he hadn't thought that.

His mind then wandered to Jaclyn and Gideon, wondering what it was she even saw in him. Sure, he was decently intelligent, a nice guy, had a lot of friends, and, apparently, was good looking, but Sirius was all of those things, too, right? What did she see in Gideon that she didn't see in Sirius?

"Sirius!" Eleanor nearly screeched. "Honestly!"

"Eleanor, it's not going to work," Sirius got to his feet. "I'm sorry. You're a great girl and all, but - "

"Oh, please," Eleanor gave him a poisonous glare as she searched for her shoes and purse. "Save it. Merlin, I don't know what I was thinking."

But, Sirius was already breezing out of the locker room, leaving her shouting at him about how inconsiderate he was and that he wasn't going to date another Ravenclaw as long as he was at Hogwarts if it was the last thing she did. As he walked up the grounds, he recognized Jamie and Remus walking into the school and he felt his heart kind of flop.

"Stop it, Black!" he yelled at himself, speeding up from his walking to a brisk jog.

Before he knew it, he was up in the Gryffindor Tower and in alone his room. He paced back and forth between the four beds, trying to clear his head. Quite unsure of what to do, Sirius sat himself on his bed and found his letter that he'd received from his partner in Ancient Runes. For some reason, the person he was writing, who he knew was a girl, but that was all, had such a calming effect on him. She understood him in a way his other friends didn't.

Sirius reached for his quill and ink and began to write her back.

"Dear Alayne,

"I hope you had a good Halloween Ball. Mine was, well, let's just say interesting. I asked the wrong girl and it ended up being very dramatic. But, I suppose it was better off that way, you know? At least now I know that she isn't the one for me. Truthfully, I knew that before I asked her, but I was in a tight spot. Now, please don't think that I'm some kind of serial dater - that's not the case. It's just, well, you don't know my friends. At least I don't think you do.

"I'm not going to lie to you, I kind of wish we could tell each other who we are, but I understand your misgivings. I really excited for when we do know, though. I really like talking to you, as I hope you like talking to me.

"Until next time, Orion"

* * *

_Author's Note: This was much shorter than first anticipated, but I'm sure you'll forgive me. My original plans were to have the ball be one chapter, but it just kind of got longer and longer and, well, now you see. :)_

_Please let me know what you think! Reviews are what keeps me going, guys._

* * *

_**La Mariposa:** That was a night that will stain my thoughts forever. :)_

_**Nicoley117: **Thanks so much for the review! I'm pretty sure that I replied to it already, but I can't remember what I said. So, whatever I said then..pretend I wrote here, too. :) Thanks for reading!_

_**dolly:** I have a friend named Dolly! I'm pretty sure you're not her, haha. Her real name's Elizabeth. :) Anyways, thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it._

_**LandUnderWave:** I'm glad you liked the ending. Thanks for reading!_


	7. One Day I'll Fly Away

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "One Day I'll Fly Away" is from "Moulin Rouge" and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Seven: One Day I'll Fly Away**

_One day I'll fly away  
Leave all this to yesterday_

Sirius quickly finished scribbling some Runes onto his sheet of parchment, hoping that it made sense and his word order was correct. He would be the first to admit that he didn't excel in Ancient Runes, but he had very little choice in whether or not he could take the class. He had been finishing each of his letters far ahead of schedule since he enjoyed writing to "Alayne", but it was topped on top of a rather lengthy Potions essay that Slughorn had assigned at last minute as well as a prediction for his fortunes in December.

Next to him, Lily was sighing and mumbling under her breath about how he should have done the assignment before the class and that he had three days to do it and, honestly, the other things didn't take that long, now did they? Sirius tried to ignore his best friend's girlfriend, mainly because he didn't think James would be keen on him giving her a black eye - not to mention that his assignment was on the verge of being late.

"Mr. Black, are you quite finished?" asked Professor Brooks, who was walking around the room collecting the letters on her own so she could grade them before distributing them.

"Indeed I am, Professor," Sirius smirked as he scribbled his last character onto the parchment.

"Just in time," Lily muttered so Sirius could hear her as Brooks moved past Sirius and onto the rest of the class.

"Don't start," Sirius suggesting, shooting Lily a glare. "Or, to be more accurate, don't continue. I only had a small bit left to finish."

"But that's what I'm here for," Lily protested.

"Well, maybe I don't want you here at the moment," Sirius said snippily as he gave Lily a cheeky look to express his feelings a bit more.

"Maybe you need to get more sleep," Lily grumbled, turning away from him and opening her Muggle Studies book, trying to squeeze in some study time while she had it.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his far-too-geeky friend, opting to not ask her why she was studying when she lived and breathed Muggle Studies, and turned to talk to whoever was on his other side. Somehow, he hadn't even noticed that Jaclyn was sitting there, scribbling away at a piece of parchment, much as he had just been doing. He watched as Professor Brooks approached her and she quickly finished her letter and held it up to the professor with a small smile. Jaclyn gave a sigh of relief and then noticed that Sirius was watching her.

"Is something wrong?"

"Put off your homework, too, eh?" Sirius asked, nodding his head at the quill that she had in her hand.

Jaclyn smiled slowly, nodding. "I really don't like this class at all. But, McGonagall said that it would probably be a good asset to further my potential career." The look on her face suggested that she was quoting the professor verbatim.

"What are you planning on going into?" Sirius asked.

"Muggle Relations," Jaclyn replied. "Through the Ministry, you know. I'm half-Muggle, so it's not like they're a foreign species as they are for so many people that work in that office at the Ministry."

"I see," Sirius nodded.

"My whole family has been a bunch of Aurors," Jaclyn continued, sighing heavily. "Well, on my dad's side, at least, since my mum's a Muggle. But, anyways, I think that's why Jamie's so keen on being an Auror - everyone from as far back as I know of has been an Auror."

"Remus mentioned that she's been thinking about being a Healer now," Sirius admitted. "Something about not being able to support them on an Auror's pay."

"Well, we'll see how that goes," Jaclyn shook her head. "What about you? What brings you to Advanced Ancient Runes? You know, besides for a great love for dead languages, of course."

"I want to be an Auror," Sirius said simply.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Jaclyn nodded. "You've had early acceptance into Auror training. I remember James blundering on one night about how he hasn't heard back yet."

Sirius nodded with a small smirk. Despite the fact James was his best friend, he was a bit proud of the fact he had been accepted before the Head Boy. "I'm sure that was reason #45 my family saw fit to disown me," he said grimly.

However, before Jaclyn could further inquire upon Sirius' family history, Professor Brooks finished collecting the papers and was standing at the head of the classroom. She put the stack on her desk and tapped them with her wand. Instantly, the papers zoomed around the room and seemed to randomly choose where they were going. Jackie caught hers and recognized "Orion's" Runes handwriting, which she was sure was much different from his normal handwriting was.

"'I hope you had a good Halloween Ball,'" Jaclyn read to herself quickly.

"Please put those away as I have an announcement to make," Professor Brooks addressed the class. "Miss Carter, don't think that you're exempt from my previous statement."

Jaclyn looked up quickly, her face flushed, and she shoved her paper into her bag. Sirius sniggered from next to her, causing her to stick her tongue out at him feebly.

"As I was saying," the professor continued, "I have made an amendment to my original statement regarding the ending of this ongoing project we have been having in this class. Rather than ending at our last class before the Christmas holiday, I've decided that we will continue until the end of term. I know that most everyone has been enjoying the project thus far and, to be honest, I do enjoy the lack of papers on my desk each night to correct."

Jaclyn's heart sank a bit. She had been really looking forward to learning who "Orion" was and she knew that he would want to stay anonymous, despite his best efforts to make it sounds like it was her idea all along.

"Anyways, please take out your quills and prepare to take notes," Professor Brooks continued. "Based off of your past test results, I've realized that we have not properly gone over…"

Behind Jaclyn, Jamie finished folding up a spare bit of parchment into what looked like a paper frog. She had asked Sirius to teach her how to make the bird, but she seemed incapable of it, and settled for making frogs, which were much less complicated.

When Professor Brooks' back was turned away from the class, Jamie nudged the frog with her wand and it flew across the aisle and landed squarely on James's parchment that he was writing on, causing him to jump in shock. James glanced around and made eye contact with his cousin and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Open it," Jamie mouthed to him and he nodded.

**_Have you seen Remus today?_**

James glanced at Jamie again, and then remembered that Remus had told Jamie about his monthly visitor and the other Marauder's furry alter egos months ago. James scribbled on the parchment, and then haphazardly attempted to fold it back up again. He made sure the professor wasn't looking and the now misshapen frog landed straight into Jamie's outstretched hand.

_No. He, well, we all had a bad night last night._

Jamie looked over at James, who was jotting something down from the board, and noticed that he had a large scratch on his neck that could only be claw marks. He had obviously attempted to try to heal them himself so as to not raise question from Madam Pomfrey, but they were still noticeable. She looked back down at the note to read the rest.

_When are you planning to go?_

**_Ouch. Probably after class. This is my last class today._**

_It doesn't hurt so much now. Let's just say I know better than to not change after I get onto the grounds any longer._

_**Let me have a look at it after class.**_

_Oh, Jamie, the Charms enthusiast. Thanks. I have Muggle Studies right after; otherwise, I'd join you to visit Moony._

**_I'll send your love._**

_Whose notes are you going to copy if Remus is gone and you're too busy talking to me?_

**_Well, I was going to copy yours, but I suppose that plan is flawed._**

_Brilliant idea._

"Miss Williams!"

Jamie's head jerked up and she pulled the parchment down into her lap, trying to hide it even though she knew they were spotted. Professor Brooks rushed forward and stopped in front of Jamie's desk, everyone's eyes on the two of them.

"Give me that parchment," the professor demanded, her hands open.

"Uh, what parchment, Professor?" Jamie asked, attempting to sound innocent.

"Don't be coy with me," Professor Brooks replied shortly. "Now or I'll be seeing you and Mr. Potter in detention. Yes, Potter, I did see you," she added in response to James's instant sputtering.

Jamie meekly gave the paper to Professor Brooks, who began to scan the paper as soon as it was in her hand. She raised an eyebrow at the content, and then slammed it back down on Jamie's desk. She looked from Jamie to James, who looked particularly worried.

"I'm going to hope that that paper is enchanted," the professor said, turning around to retreat to the front of the classroom, "or I would be strongly concerned about the relationship two cousins such as you would hold. 25 points from Gryffindor. Now, before I was so rudely interrupted - " Before she could give further instructions, the bell rang. Professor Brooks shot Jamie a glare as though she had rang the bell herself before saying, "Have your letters completed before next class. Class dismissed."

Jamie hurriedly put her things into her shoulder bag and quietly said, "James, come with me and I'll have a look at your neck."

"I'll meet you in class," James said to Lily, who nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll save you a seat," Lily replied, turning the opposite way Jamie and James did.

Jamie pushed open a classroom a bit down the hallway and, upon seeing that it was empty, she ushered James inside. She put her things onto a desk and he followed in suit.

"Let me see that," Jamie said, motioning for James to sit on a desktop, as he was a few inches taller than she was. He craned his neck so she'd have a better view. "Oh, Lord, James, what happened?"

"Basically what I said - ouch, that hurts!" he protested as Jamie gently touched it.

"You baby," she replied, digging into her bag for her wand. "Care to expand on your vague details?"

"Normally we change before we get onto the grounds, but, for some daft reason, this time I didn't see fit to," James explained as Jamie examined the wound again. "Peter froze the Willow before I could protest, therefore letting Remus fly out, catching me off guard. I'm lucky he only managed to barely cut me. Sirius was able to get him off and I transformed."

"Bloody hell," Jamie froze, her eyes wide. "That's going to just kill him, knowing he attacked one of his best friends."

"He won't remember. You should probably see fit to not tell him," James shrugged, glancing at the clock. "I had to leave before he turned back this morning for patrol with Lily, but Sirius said he wasn't in the best state."

"Lovely," Jamie said, raising her wand and holding his head still by gripping his chin. "_Medicorsano_." She watched as the cuts slowly disappeared and Jamie let go of him. "All done. Want a sticker?"

"Oh, yes, please," James smiled, jumping off the desk and slinging his bag over his shoulder once again. "I should hurry to class. Thanks a lot."

"Anytime, love," Jamie replied, taking her own bag. "I'll update you on Remus before dinner."

"Works for me," James nodded. "Oh, I almost forgot to ask, what did the parchment say for Brooks?"

Jamie grinned mischievously and said, "It was basically a lame excerpt of love notes I read in a book once. Hence, why she was worried about the two of us."

"Great," James laughed loudly. "Now all of the professors are going to think that we're a pair of prats that fancy incest."

Jamie laughed back and added, "Like they didn't already think that."

"You're a sick one," James said, making towards the door. "I'm drawing the line here. I'll see you before dinner."

Jamie left the classroom, found herself in a near deserted hallway, and began the course that took her to the Hospital Wing. She had actually been surprised to hear James story. While she knew that Remus wasn't aware of his actions when he was a wolf, she didn't realize just how violent he could be. The Remus she knew - the kind, loving, thoughtful one - got in the way and made it near impossible for her to envision any other.

When he had sat her down before the beginning of their summer holiday a few months ago, Jamie had a thousand questions to ask Remus, but she was so frightened of his reaction that she had never actually been forward enough to ask them. He didn't really like talking about him being a werewolf, but Jamie was starting to realize just how big of a deal it was. If he would attack one of his best friends, what would keep him from attacking her? Jamie wasn't sure how they were going to be able to live under the same roof if once a month she had to worry about Remus killing her.

Once she arrived at the hospital wing, Jamie tried valiantly to push those thoughts out of her mind, although they still lingered.

"Yes?" Madam Pomfrey, who was sorting through a cabinet of potions, inquired Jamie when she entered the wing.

"I'm, uh, I'm here to see Remus Lupin," Jamie stammered. She had always felt intimidated by the woman, although she was never sure why.

"Last bed on the right," Madam Pomfrey said curtly, going back to what she had been doing before Jamie interrupted her. Jamie could tell that Madam Pomfrey didn't agree with not only her knowing about Remus, but the other Marauders as well, but also chose not to discuss it with them when they visited.

Jamie swallowed and noticed that there was a curtain drawn to separate Remus from the rest of the wing, which made her feel uneasy. James had said he wasn't in the best shape, but it couldn't have been that bad - could it?

Swallowing hard, Jamie walked past the curtain, to see Remus's bed, a chair, and the open window. There was a slight breeze coming in and Jamie forced herself to look at her fiancé, despite how scared she was to.

His eyes were closed, leading Jamie to think that he was sleeping. His right eye was a deep purple and there was a gash across the left side of his forehead, over his eye, and down across his cheek. He wasn't wearing a shirt because his chest was wrapped in white tape. His left wrist was taped up as well, although Jamie didn't know if it was broken or cut up. Jamie swallowed hard, hoping that those were the only injuries he had been forced to sustain, since the rest of his body was covered in a blanket.

Jamie sat down in the chair that sat next to Remus's bed and tenderly brought a hand to his face and pushed his hair back. His face scrunched up a bit and his eyes slowly blinked open, as though the effort was too painful to bear. When he recognized Jamie, the smallest hint of a smile shown on his lips, but most of it was shown in his eyes.

"Hey," Remus whispered slowly. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," Jamie replied quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," he joked, the effort draining him as he closed his eyes.

"Do you want me to - "

"Don't go," Remus read her mind, his right hand reaching for her. She gingerly took his hand and he squeezed it lightly. He kept his eyes closed, though. "I just look bad now. I'll be fine. Tell me about your day."

"Well, nothing terribly exciting happened," Jamie began, rubbing her thumb along the top of his hand. "Lauren won't shut her mouth about how wonderful Peter is. Driving the rest of us crazy."

Remus smiled again and said, "Were you like that with me?"

"Please, Lily threatened to introduce me to the grounds - through our dormitory window," Jamie laughed, remembering how annoyed Lily had been at the time; partly because she was upset Jamie was dating one of the Marauders and also because she wouldn't stop talking about him.

Remus laughed quietly, but grimaced slightly. "I'm sorry," Jamie said instantly, causing him to open his eyes.

"It's not your fault," he urged Jamie. "This is the best I've been all day."

The two of them attempted small talk for as long as best as they could, what with Remus having to just sit and listen every few moments. Jamie was used to this, though. The day after he transformed was always painful for her to watch. He was also very sore from the amount of adrenaline needed to not only make him turn into the wolf, but keep him alive throughout the entire night. Also, whatever wounds he managed to sustain during the night followed through into his human body and always affected him much worse in the weaker form. However, after a few well-mixed potions from Madam Pomfrey, he was always feeling well enough the next day to attend classes, however ill he may look.

"Alright, Miss Williams, it's about time for you to leave," Madam Pomfrey bustled in, a flask in hand that was giving off a dark purple vapor. "Mr. Lupin needs rest if he wants to go to classes tomorrow."

"I don't want to go to classes, though," Remus protested, reaching to take the flask from her. He smelled it and made a face, then downed it in one mouthful. "Dreadful."

"Well, in a few minutes you won't mind the taste," Madam Pomfrey replied, taking the flask from him.

"Must we have this discussion every month?"

"I would be disappointed if we didn't," she replied. "Now, Miss Williams, out!"

"Just one moment," Jamie nodded, causing her to leave them alone.

"It figures she'd give me the one that makes me feel so much better when you have to leave," Remus pouted, pulling himself up to a sitting position to demonstrate.

"I told James I'd meet him up in the Common Room about now to let him know how you're doing, anyways," Jamie shrugged, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissing his fingertips. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Of course I will," Remus replied. "It's not like this is the first time this has happened."

Jamie smirked putting her hand against Remus's, comparing sizes. His were much larger than her own were and, no matter how many times she did it, she was always amazed at the difference. Her chipped black nail polish contrasted against his plain nails that were cut short.

Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat loudly from the other side of the curtain, so Jamie resigned to the inevitable and got to her feet. She leaned forward and kissed Remus softly on his lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Of course," Remus replied, beckoning her forward so he could kiss her one more time. "Thanks."

"Oh, anytime, believe me," Jamie smiled, squeezing his hand before swinging her bag over her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Lily, I can't know what's wrong if you don't talk to me," James was saying as Jamie walked into the common room. He was kneeling before Lily, who was crying on one of the crimson sofas that scattered the room. Lauren and Peter were watching the scene warily, Sirius standing behind his best friend with Jaclyn coming out of the girl's dormitory and hurrying towards the group of friends. Jamie followed in suit and sat beside Lily, putting an arm around her wrist. 

"What is it, love?" Jamie asked as her best friend put an arm around her neck and continued crying silently into her shoulder. She shot a questioning look at James, who shrugged but his eyes looked as though he was terrified.

"Shhh…," Jamie shushed Lily as she rubbed her back. After a few minutes, Lily cleared her throat and sat up, wiping her eyes. She looked as though she was valiantly trying to look as though she was fine.

"I'm sorry," Lily apologized quietly. "You lot should go to dinner. I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit under the weather."

For a few seconds, none of the friends moved, but then Sirius said, "Alright, let's go. Come on, guys."

"I already ate," Jamie lied.

"Go ahead without me," James added.

Jaclyn, who was seated next to Jamie, got to her feet and nodded toward Lauren and Peter, who followed her with Sirius. Once the four of them were gone, Jamie noticed that they were the only other people in the common room, minus a small cluster of third years, who were glancing up at the three of them every few seconds.

"Lily, please tell me what's going on," James pleaded, his hands enveloping her own. "I want to help in any way I can."

"I - I got this letter," Lily started, pulling her left hand away from James's and she pulled a small white envelope from between her and the arm of the couch. "It's, um, it's from my sister. It seems that my parents died three days ago and she just now saw fit to alert me of it."

James gasped, as though this was an unheard of thing, but Jamie knew better. Lily and her older sister, Petunia, had gotten along famously until Lily received her letter from Hogwarts when she was eleven. At first Petunia had been excited for Lily along with the rest of their family, but before long, Petunia became jealous of the attention her younger sister was getting from her new unique trait. When Lily came home after her first year of school, Petunia had treated her as though she wasn't her sister she had known all her life, but more like a crazy person off the street.

Lily handed the letter to Jamie, who slowly pulled the folded sheet of paper out of the envelope. Jamie breathed in deeply before she began to scan the paper with James, who craned his neck in order to see.

"_Dear Lily Evans,_

"_On the 30th of October, our parents, Darryl and Rose Evans, died in a house fire. The firefighters say that the cause was faulty wiring - something I'm sure father was aware of, but was unable to fix because of the amount of money they are paying for you to go to that school of yours. Both mum and father wished to be cremated, which I saw fit to have done. The ceremony will be held today, although I'm sure you won't be attending. Vernon and I will be sure to spread the ashes._

"_Please do not contact me regarding this circumstance or any other for that matter._

"_Sincerely, your sister, Petunia Evans-Dursley_"

"Could it be any more formal?" Jamie mused, folding up the letter one more time and throwing it swiftly into the roaring fireplace. She fought of tears of her own, as she had been particularly close to Mr. and Mrs. Evans as they obviously were her best friend's parents.

"What a giant, horse-faced, two bit, git of a - "

"James, please," Lily protested, closing her eyes. "It's okay, it really is."

"No, it isn't, Lily!" James replied angrily. "I'll - I'll go to London and - "

"Please, James," Lily stopped him, putting her hands on his face. "It will be fine. I think I'm going to go up to bed. Good night."

She got to her feet and swiftly left Jamie and James, who climbed to the sofa where Lily had been sitting just moments ago. He swallowed hard and looked at Jamie with a mixture of anger and desperation in his eyes.

"I only want to help," James said quietly after a few minutes.

"I know," Jamie nodded, taking his hand. "I know."

"Is she really okay?" he asked.

"No," Jamie said simply. "But, she will be. We all will be."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Omggg. :) I knew where I wanted this chapter to go, but I still had no idea what I was doing. I would have had it done earlier, but I decided to write ahead. Oh, wouldn't you like to know..tee hee._

_Thanks for reading! Reviews make the world go round!_

* * *

_**La Mariposa: ** Well, that's for to know and you..not..to know. I guess. Either way, you might as well make yourself comfortable._

_**Nicoley117: ** I liked the letters, too. I had tried to use them in a previous story, but I was never able to actually finish the story. You know how it goes..the idea just kind of loses it's luster and you get tired of it. However, I think that it's working splendidly in this one. :) Thanks for reading! I love getting your reviews, hehe._

_**dolly: ** I was starting to think that Remus and Jamie were just too good to be true, so an argument was pretty much due. However, I tried to show that despite how young they are, they were able to argue and still forgive right away, showing their maturity. Well, that's what I tried to show, at least, heh. Thanks for reading!_

_**danielle:** I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading!  
_


	8. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "I Write Sings Not Tragedies" is by Panic! At The Disco and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Eight: I Write Sins Not Tragedies**

_No, it's much better to face these kinds of things  
With a sense of poise and rationality_

"Today," Professor Kettleburn announced to his seventh year Care For Magical Creatures class as he led them to the shore of the Black Lake, "we will investigate nixies."

There was a small murmur across the class, some students just complaining about the November temperature, others curious about the nixies, and one Slytherin boldly said, "If we're looking at pixies, why are we down by the lake?"

"Nixies," the professor continued, either ignoring the question or not hearing, "are also known as naiads and nixes and are the guardians of freshwater pools and streams. Can anyone tell me how nixies can be identified?"

Remus raised his hand instantly and Professor Kettleburn nodded for him to answer. "Nixies are most commonly spotted alone and are bound to the body of water that they are born in. They are identified by the liquid that continuously streams from their hair and clothes as well as the greenish sheen of their skin. They have no real fingernails and hair, although they do have external gill filaments that take in oxygen from the water as they swim, much like merfolk."

"Very good, Mr. Lupin," Professor Kettleburn replied to his text-book answer, stopping near a large Muggle-made record player. "25 points to Gryffindor. "Nixies and merfolk have a lot of similarities, including the gill filaments. However, can anyone tell me how they differ?"

Narcissa Black, Sirius's cousin, rose a confident hand from the back of the crowd, her nose high in the air and an arrogant look in her eye as she scanned the group. "They have legs."

"Simple, yet well said," Professor Kettleburn nodded. "25 points to Slytherin." Remus sighed angrily next to Jamie and someone near the back exclaimed, "Great job, Cissy!"

"Can anyone tell me why I have this record player here?"

Remus stepped forward and said, "Nixies love music and dancing, so they will be attracted to the music playing. You can find instruments made from reeds near the banks of streams where nixies live."

"You've obviously done your homework, Mr. Lupin," Professor Kettleburn praised, as though Remus didn't have all of the answers every class. "Take another 25 points." The professor bent over and tapped the record player with his wand. A Mozart symphony began to play, amplifying across the lake.

After five minutes or so, an anxious feeling settled over the group, Narcissa in the back complaining loudly about how long it was taking. Remus shot a death glare back at her, causing Jamie to put a hand on his arm warningly. Being a magical creature himself, Remus always loved Care For Magical Creatures and hoped to one day write an encyclopedia of sorts, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do all of the traveling that would be necessary to do the research.

"Here she comes," Professor Kettleburn announced, causing all of the students to stop talking amongst themselves and scan the water. At first, no one could see anything.

"There!" Jamie nearly shouted, pointing into the water where there were small rippled. Almost instantaneously as when she said it, the nixie began to rise out of the water, her head clearly visible only a few feet from the shore. She looked at the group of teenagers questioningly.

A gasp escaped from Jamie's lungs - the nixie was much different than what she had expected. She had dark brown hair, although Jamie knew that it wasn't hair at all, and long green ears that resembled the fins of a fish. Atop her head was a lily pad that was caught in her hair from when she ascended from the water. She was a bright green with darker spots that almost looked like freckles all over her skin. She had eyes that were an intense ocean blue and were a large, almond shape. She jumped in almost surprise when she heard the gasp from Jamie and she locked gaze with her.

"This nixie's name is Holly," Kettleburn continued talking, facing away from the creature and addressing the class. "She is in the juvenile stage of life, about 13 or 14 years old. Her mother died soon after giving birth to her. She is the only nixie in the lake, as far as we've been able to tell and from what she has told us. While there are male nixies, it is a possibility that, also like merfolk, they can use gender variation and reproduce asexually. Wait, now, what is she doing?"

This caused the class to whip around and look at Holly the nixie, who was pulling herself up out of the water, making a beeline toward where Jamie and Remus were standing. Jamie gasped again, putting grasping Remus's arm, who put a comforting arm around her.

"Nixies are friendly by nature," Remus said, trying to put her at ease. "They are naturally curious about land-dwelling creatures, including humans, much unlike merfolk."

"You're not helping, love," Jamie muttered under her breath as the young nixie stopped short a few feet in front of the two of them. She cocked a head and continued staring at Jamie.

The nixie, who had very long, frog-like legs staggered forward a step, the legs obviously more adapted for kicking quickly through water rather than land travel. She fully extended her legs and was at the height of a small child, about four feet. The nixie had a long tail that resembled a tad pole's. She kept her gaze on Jamie.

"H - Hello," Jamie stammered, still very frightened, despite the excitement she could feel surging through Remus.

"Hello," the nixie responded, her voice very high and melodic, much like she was singing. She took off the necklace that was around her neck, made of different shells, stones, and, Remus thought he recognized, a quill tip. She extended her hand to Jamie, beckoning her to take it.

"Take it," Remus whispered, elbowing Jamie.

Jamie shot Remus a "are-you-kidding-me?" look, then reached out and took the necklace from her. When Jamie's finger brushed Holly's, a slimy, goo-like substance stuck to her hand. Holly continued looking at her unblinkingly.

"Thank you," Jamie replied, smiling at the nixie. The nixie seemed to get very excited when she saw that she had pleased Jamie, but then pointed a single webbed finger at Jamie's chest.

"She wants your necklace," Professor Kettleburn interpreted, Jamie surprised to see that he was suddenly at her side.

"Please," Holly pleaded.

Jamie held her long hair up, not wanting to incur the wrath of a sea creature that looked very capable of drowning her, and Remus unclasped the silver chain with a blue glass bead strung through it. She held it up to Holly, who smiled and held up her hair, much like Jamie had done just moments before. Nervously, Jamie put the necklace around the nixie and was careful not to get any more nixie goo on her.

When she finished, Jamie hurried back to Remus's side and gripped his arm. The nixie smiled at Jamie and took a step closer to her, nearly touching she was so close.

"Thank you," Holly told Jamie, not looking so much at her face, but taking in the rest of her features.

"You're w-welcome," Jamie replied nervously.

After a few silent moments, the nixie turned to Remus and he studied his face, then gave him what could only be translated as a look of pity. "I am sorry," she said simply, reaching a hand forward and touching his face softly with a slimy finger.

Then, without warning, the creature turned around from the two of them and hurried as best she could back to the water. She dived in as soon as she reached the shore, leaving the entire group wide eyed and in a state of shock.

"Brilliant!" Professor Kettleburn exclaimed, turning back to face the class. "That was absolutely brilliant! Nixies are known for their curiosity of land dwellers, as Mr. Lupin so aptly mentioned moments before. This was quite a class. Next time we'll be discussing werewolves, so make sure you read over that chapter in the text. You are dismissed!"

Jamie was still in shock when Remus began to lead her away. She looked back over her shoulder and thought she saw a head peaking out of the lake a ways out, but it disappeared before she could register it.

"Mr. Lupin, I'd like to talk to you quickly, please," Professor Kettleburn called after them.

"I'll meet you up in the school," Remus told Jamie, squeezing her hand before turning back to meet with the professor.

"Probably wants him to demonstrate," Narcissa snorted, glancing at Jamie pointedly, trying to get her to do something drastic.

A few of her friends laughed and howled, looking back at Remus, who was too deep in discussion with Professor Kettleburn to notice. Jamie just glared at Narcissa, not wanting to make a scene. She noticed Severus Snape walking alongside Narcissa, a sickening smirk on his face as he locked eyes with Jamie. Jamie knew that the year before Sirius had almost gotten Severus killed by Remus, but James had stopped him just before anything drastic could have happened. James had forced Severus to swear not to say anything and, for some reason, he hadn't, but Jamie was sure that Severus did nothing to stop the rumors.

"Hey, Jamie," Gideon Prewett, the bloke that had taken Jaclyn to the Halloween Ball, greeted her, walking alongside. "That was pretty crazy, eh?"

Jamie just nodded, still holding the necklace the nixie had given her in one hand. "You're telling me?"

"I can't believe that she wanted that awful cheap necklace that Williams wears all the time," Narcissa said loudly from in front of the two of them. "I mean, honestly, she mustn't have any taste if she didn't go for mine." She motioned at the diamond necklace that hung around her neck, making sure to turn completely around so Jamie and Gideon had a look.

"Honestly," Jamie muttered under her breath. "If I had the chance…"

"Oh, Cissy, that's such a beautiful necklace," Angela Weatherby, one of Narcissa's cronies, swooned.

"It is, isn't it?" Narcissa asked, sighing heavily. "Lucius gave it to me as an engagement present. You know, among other things." She held out her left hand, a large diamond ring on her ring finger. She turned, as though just noticing Jamie, and said, "Now, Jamie, can I see your engagement ring from Lupin? I hear it's quite ravishing."

"Sod off, Narcissa," Jamie said venomously, glaring at her and taking off to the Great Hall as Narcissa and her friends roared in laughter behind her.

"Wait - Jamie!" Gideon shouted after her, trying to keep up.

Jamie ignored him, not really wanting to be around anyone for the moment. For the first time since she had been at Hogwarts, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that none of her friends had arrived for lunch yet. She had Double Care for Magical Creatures, so she usually went to lunch right away, but her friends usually beat her there. Glancing at her wrist watch, Jamie noticed that they had gotten out almost ten minutes early.

Jamie sat down at the Gryffindor Table, pouring herself a bowl of broccoli soup from the large cauldron that sat in front of her. She dug in her bag and took her Transfiguration book, trying to study a bit for a test that was coming up. Before she started to read, Jamie glanced up at the head table and noticed that not even any of the teachers had arrived to eat their lunches yet.

"Jamie!" Remus shouted, bursting into the Hall and running over to where Jamie was sitting without taking notice to any of the people around them. "You'll never guess what happened?"

"What?" Jamie asked, looking up from her book to Remus's excited face. She hadn't seen him that happy since, well, never.

"Professor Kettleburn got together with the Heads and Professor Dumbledore to propose my research, you know?" Remus said quickly, a huge grin on his face. "Because I need money for it and I was hoping that if they wanted, they would sponsor me and I could get a grant and - "

"Yes, yes, Remus, you've told me all that," Jamie interrupted. "Did they approve it?"

"Yes!" Remus exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his seat. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Oh, Remus, that's so great!" Jamie smiled at him, giving him a hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, seeing through her façade, his face dropping slightly.

"Oh, love, I'm fine," Jamie waved her hand dismissively. "I'm just having an off day."

"You sure?" When she nodded and grinned widely again. "I'll be back - I have to owl my mum telling her the news." He kissed her quickly, then took off out of the Hall and up to the Owlery.

Jamie sighed heavily after Remus was out of sight. Sure, it was his dream and all, but she couldn't help but feel put off. Jamie was dropping her dreams of being an Auror so that they could be properly supported, but she couldn't feel shafted by the fact that he was going to be gone for weeks at a time trying to discover new species of animals for a book. She knew it was selfish, especially since once his book was published he would be contributing, but until then, she wished that he would at least think about finding a steady job. She knew how hard it was for a werewolf to keep a job, but she would feel better if he would at least try.

"So, Jamie, mind if you answer me a question?"

Jamie jumped out of her thoughts, nearly knocking her soup onto her textbook. She looked to her right to see Narcissa next to her. Jamie gave her a nasty look, as did the rest of the Gryffindors sitting at the table, but resigned to the fact she wouldn't leave until she played along.

"What do you want, Narcissa?" Jamie asked, her voice lacking any enthusiasm.

"Now, now, Jamie, I just want to ask you a question - woman to woman," Narcissa said, her crystal blue eyes gleaming with amusement as she pushed her far-too-perfect blonde hair out of her face. Her voice dropped and she asked, "Is Lupin really a werewolf?"

"No," Jamie lied, shooting Narcissa a glare. "Besides, if he was, it wouldn't be any of your business, now would it?"

Narcissa laughed, her laugh soft and far too pleasant to be coming from her mouth. "I think it would be everyone's business, Jamie. Wouldn't want a half-breed roaming around the halls."

"Leave me alone, Narcissa," Jamie growled at her, hardly controlling herself from hexing the living daylights out of her.

"Now, I have just one more question for you," Narcissa continued, not moving and lowering her voice even more. "I was just wondering since, you know, I've never experienced it myself. What's he like in bed?" She paused, but continued when Jamie only flushed and kept silent. "I'll bet he's quite the animal, you know, since he actually becomes one once a - "

"Get away from me, Narcissa!" Jamie shouted, rising to her feet and pushing Narcissa hard off of her chair so she landed on the floor.

"Oh, you did not just do that!" Narcissa jumped to her feet, whipping out her wand.

"Oh, Cissy-cousin, what are you doing?" came Sirius's voice from behind her.

Narcissa slowly turned around to see Sirius, James, Jaclyn, and Lily walking toward the two girls. "Don't call me that, Siri-bear."

"Leave my friend alone, then," Sirius countered, his own wand out and pointing at his cousin.

"Sirius, do you really think you can take on Slytherins with a bunch of blood traitors and Mudbloods?"

"Oh, Reggie, I get to see you, too?" Sirius turned, pretending to be excited. "It's been far too long, brother."

"Mum says hello," Regulus Black sneered. "No, wait, it's more like, 'never come back to our house, you filthy blood traitor'. Yes, I believe that's it."

"Sod off, Regulus," James pulled out his wand, stepping in between the two bothers.

"James, don't," Lily protested, putting a hand on his arm.

"Potter, I see you've finally bagged the Mudblood," Regulus smirked, nodding toward Lily. "My hats go off to you."

Just then, a score of shouted jinxes flew through the air, causing Jaclyn to fall over due to a Leg-Locker Curse into a Ravenclaw at their table, who helped her to the ground, turn Sirius a shade of deep purple, and tentacles to grow out of Narcissa's chest. As Narcissa began shrieking, Remus came into the Hall, surveying the scene and running to Jamie's side, who could only speak Ubbi-Dubbi and was shouting it loudly at Narcissa.

"Cut it out, James!" Lily yelled, standing between James and Regulus, only to be hit by a Hair-Growing Jinx, making her red hair grow at a remarkable speed, so she soon couldn't move under the weight of it.

"What's going on?" Remus asked, ducking to get out of the way of a stray jinx.

"Nubow ubis nubot thube tubime, Rubemubus," Jamie said, making Remus stop for a moment to translate what she said in his head.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!"

The eight teenagers froze, which wasn't hard for Jaclyn, as they realized that they were no longer as alone as they thought they were. They turned to see a fuming Professor McGonagall, her eyes wide with anger. She looked over the situation, noting who was involved and shooting them all a very angry look.

"All of you - 50 points from each of your houses!" the professor announced, looking at each of the teenagers. "You all have detention tomorrow night with me at 8:00 in my office! Now, get to the hospital wing and be put right!"

As the group began to leave the Great Hall, Jaclyn floating in front of Sirius and Lily being half carried by James, with people snickering to howling in laughter behind them as they left, Peter and Lauren began walking in.

"Bloody hell!" Lauren exclaimed.

"What happened - " Peter began.

"Lubater," Jamie growled under her breath.

* * *

The next day, the eight teenagers found themselves in the trophy room, the cases open, showing about one hundred different trophies and plaques, all covered in a thick purple slime. There were four large buckets spread out in front of the cases. 

"You will stay here and scrub each and every piece of silver in the cases until they are sparkling at their normal sheen, as earlier today they inexplicably were covered with the strange concoction they are now covered in," Professor McGonagall explained to them curtly as Sirius and James looked around, trying to look innocent. "You will also give me your wands, as you will be scrubbing them clean without any sort of magic. Get to work."

The stern professor walked to each student, taking their wands. "I will be just across the corridor in my office, so I will be able to hear if any sort of occurrence comes about. I don't want to have to come in here before you are finished." She stalked out of the room, leaving them to go about their business.

They scrubbed for nearly fifteen minutes in complete silence when James finally exclaimed, "Oh, come on, Lily, talk to me - please!"

"James Potter, I have never had a detention before!" Lily shrieked, obviously have wanting to get this off her chest since the day before. "I've never so much as sneezed out of turn since I've been here. And now, in my last year at school, I find myself in detention because I tried to get you out of trouble!"

"Lily, it's not that bad," Jaclyn sighed, trying to scrape some of the goo off of a particular plaque and making it splash up into her face. "Bloody hell."

Sirius and Jamie started snickering, but shut up quickly after they received a glare from Jaclyn, they quickly stopped their snickering.

"I don't know what you're complaining about, Lily," Remus sighed, submerging an entire trophy into the tub of water he was sharing with Jamie. "I had just gotten into the Hall when McGonagall decided to show up."

"What was that, Reggie?" Sirius asked loudly, glaring at his brother from across the room.

"We were just talking about what a bunch of spoiled Gryffindors you lot are," Regulus said simply, hoping to cause his short-tempered brother to blow his top.

Sirius only snorted. "Like you should even begin to talk. Regulus, mum and dad would feed you out of their hands if you so much as hinted that that was what you wanted."

"You know you're only jealous of how they treat me," Regulus pushed, his brown eyes flashing at his brother. "You remember what it was like for you before you came to school - how mum would baby you to the point of you thinking she was a maid and father giving you anything your heart desired."

"And now that's how they treat you," Sirius sneered at his brother. "Lovely how they treat you like they did me when I was nine and you're what, sixteen now?"

Regulus just glared at Sirius, not saying anything. There were a few tense minutes before Jaclyn asked, "Jamie, what had been going on anyway? You never did tell me."

"That's because I was speaking some damn made-up language until two hours ago," Jamie grumbled.

"I'm sorry - I didn't mean for that to hit you," James said, then began laughing nonetheless.

"Ha-ha," Jamie replied, throwing some soap suds onto him. "It's not important."

"I had asked her if the rumors were true," Narcissa spoke up, her eyes flashing and a terrible smirk on her face.

"What rumors?" Jaclyn asked, then looked at Jamie with a look of apology.

"Oh, the ones about Lupin, of course," Narcissa answered, still smirking and getting to her feet.

At this, Remus looked up, as he had been ignoring the others trying to get a particularly stubborn glob of goo off of the trophy. "What was that?"

"You know, the ones about where you go every month," Narcissa pressed, Regulus grinning behind her. "Why don't you tell us all now, Lupin?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Remus replied, his acting absolutely perfect as he had been forced to make the lie more than once. "I've only been gone two or three times a year - tops. Besides, it's not really your problem with how often my family members die or I get sick."

"Mh hm," Narcissa cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. "Whatever you say."

"Get that look off your face or I'll wipe it off for you," Jamie jumped to her feet, her tone shocking even her friends, who had never heard her talk like that before.

"How?" Narcissa challenged. "McGonagall has your wand."

"Believe me, I don't need a wand," Jamie started walking towards her, her arm raised.

"MISS WILLIAMS AND MISS BLACK!" Professor McGonagall's voice thundered into the room, though she was still in her office. "Get back to work or I'll see you tomorrow for another detention!"

Narcissa gave Jamie a satisfied smirk, sitting back down by Regulus, but not taking her eyes off of Jamie. Jamie continued to walk toward Narcissa, until she was close enough for her to hear her whisper.

"Don't you ever say anything about my fiancé again," Jamie said venomously, ignoring that Regulus was trying to lean in closer to hear what she was saying. "Or I will make sure that you will never talk again."

"Is that a threat, Williams?" Narcissa asked, her voice just as dark as Jamie's.

"Let's just say I'm good at charms," Jamie answered, her eyes dark.

"MISS WILLIAMS, NOW!"

Jamie gave Narcissa one more deadly look, then sat herself back down by Remus, who gave her a questioning look. She ignored him and was silent until they were finished with their detention.

As the teenagers went their separate ways, Remus ran after Jamie, grabbing her arm in order to stop her. "Jamie, what was that in there?"

"I'm sorry," Jamie answered, actually feeling ashamed of her behavior. "I just, well…"

"Look, they can't know I'm a, well, you know," Remus put a hand on each of her shoulders. "If you threaten or yell or jinx them, it only makes it more obvious."

"Remus, I can't stand the way they talk about you," Jamie's eyes filled with tears right away. "It's bad enough that I've had to hear the things they say about my cousins and best friend, but you, too? It's just too much."

"Look, Jamie, I'm used to it," Remus forced a smile. "I've been hearing it since I was bitten. It'll happen."

"It's not fair," Jamie said angrily. "How dare they - "

Remus put a finger to Jamie's lips in order to shush her. "It's okay. I promise."

Jamie stared up at Remus, then pulled him close and began kissing him hard in the middle of the hallway until she felt her back pressed again the wall. The kiss quickly began to heat up, their bags falling to their feet as they focused on each other.

"What is going - oh!" came a surprised voice a little way down the hallway, causing the two to jump apart from each other, Jamie wiping her lips furiously when they saw Professor McGonagall looking at them in surprise.

"Sorry, Professor," Jamie began quickly, picking up hers and Remus's bag, handing his to him. "We were just, uh…"

"We were about to go up to the Tower," Remus finished, backing up.

"Yes, please do that," the professor said awkwardly, returning to her office without so much of a look back at the two of them.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Haha, I had to add that little bit in the end. I wasn't going to, but I had to, haha. Anyways, you'll be seeing more of Holly the Nixie soon. She'll be an interesting character, let me tell you. I got the description of the nixie from the Arthur Spiderwick book my brother has. I changed her around a bit, but that's how it worked out. :)_

The conversation Jamie and Remus have at the end is loosely related to one I had with my best friend a while back. No, he's not a werewolf, haha.  


_Oh, and if you've ever seen the tv show "Zoom" you'll recognize "Ubbi Dubbi." :)  
_

_Thanks for reading!_


	9. They Weren't There

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "They Weren't There" is by Missy Higgins and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Nine: They Weren't There**

_You were the blanket of the over-world  
So I couldn't say, I would say "no"  
But they all said, "You're too young to even know  
Just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him"_

The next month seemed to fly by. There was a flutter of NEWT study groups being formed, Quidditch games, and homework, leaving very little time for pranks, sneaking out, and drama between friends. Before anyone knew it, the Christmas holiday was upon them, with a fresh new layer of snow.

"Remind me again why you and Remus aren't leaving until tomorrow?" Jaclyn asked, packing up her trunk as though she was leaving Hogwarts for good, rather than just for a few weeks.

Jamie shrugged, looking at her friends as they packed. "Remus has some meeting with Dumbledore and some of the other teachers about his grant."

"I don't understand why you don't just come and stay at Sirius's tonight and then go into London tomorrow," Lily sighed, closing her trunk happily. "Honestly, can't it wait until we get back in January?"

"I suppose not," Jamie sighed. "I can't believe Lauren and Peter already left."

"Well, apparently Lauren's mum and dad booked some Christmas cruise thing," Jaclyn explained. "It left early today, so they had to write Dumbledore for permission and everything."

"They're pretty hot and heavy, aren't they?" Jamie asked, a twinkle in her eye.

"Like you should even begin to talk, Miss Williams," Lily laughed. "Come on, Carter, I want to leave before it's 1978."

"I'm hurrying," Jaclyn insisted, throwing her make up bag on top of a new stack of clothes and shutting it. "There, are you happy?"

"Ecstatic," Lily replied, getting to her feet. "We were supposed to meet Sirius down in the entrance ages ago."

"He'll live, believe me," Jaclyn rolled her eyes. "Come on, Jamie, give me a hug. I know you'll miss me terribly."

"I don't know how I'll get by," Jamie pretended to sob. "A whole two nights away from my cousin!"

"I know it'll be rough," Jaclyn straightened up, patting Jamie on the cheek softly, "but you're stronger than you think!"

"You two are so odd," Lily pushed Jaclyn out of the way, wrapping her arms around her best friend. "See you in a few days."

"Be good!" Jamie called as the two left the dormitory, leaving Jamie feeling quite alone suddenly.

Jamie jumped onto her bed and leaned back. Remus had been at his meeting for nearly an hour and he had no idea when it was going to be finished. He thought it would take a while, since they would be discussing where he would be traveling, exactly what the topics were, the amount of money needed, and so on and so forth. Jamie still had misgivings about the trip as a whole, but she couldn't help but be a little excited for him whenever he brought it up.

"If this works out," he had told Jamie earlier when she was watching him get ready in his dormitory, "we'll be set. Once my book gets published, we're going to have money and we won't have to worry about anything."

Jamie didn't want to mention the sheer amount of time it was going to take him to actually get the book published, so she had just smiled and nodded at him. So far, Remus hadn't even suspected her less than enthusiastic view on the project as a whole.

Jamie rolled over onto her side in her bed and gazed at the pictures on her bedside table. They were all magical except for one, which Lily had taken of the two of them when they were in the second year. Jamie had gone to Lily's over the Christmas holiday, after much persuasion needed for to convince Jamie's parents. They were grinning wildly into the frame and it still mesmerized her that the picture didn't move in any way.

Next to that was a picture of Jamie with her parents, taken only the summer before when they were in the States. When they had been in New York, she and her parents did the tourist thing and toured all over the city. Her favorite picture had been of them on Times Square. It was a wizarding photo, so everything, even the cars in the background, was moving. Jamie smiled, thinking back on the vacation and how much fun it had been.

Jamie's face fell, when she looked to the next picture, one that was taken at the beginning of the school year, of herself and Remus in the common room. Lauren had taken it when the two weren't expecting it, but Remus had his arms around her and whenever she looked at it, the two of them were gazing at each other, which always made Jamie smile.

Jamie sighed heavily and rolled back over. She had owled her parents about her impending engagement with Remus almost a week ago and she had yet to receive a response from them. Jamie was pretty sure that her mum, although a bit disappointed, would be okay with it, because she wanted Jamie to make her own decisions. Her mum had always supported her, no matter what choices she had made in the past, and Jamie appreciated that because she certainly didn't receive any from her father.

While Jamie knew that her father meant well, she had grown to not accept his advice as wise and more to be ignorant. When Jamie had first brought Remus home, her father hadn't known that he was a werewolf. The two got along wonderfully. However, in the time Jamie was away from home, her mum had told her father and Jamie received a heated letter from him, telling her that if she knew what was good for her, she'd leave him then and there. When Jamie didn't she stopped being daddy's little girl and became the disappointment in the family. To say that she was scared to see how her father was going to react would be a vast understatement.

There were two sharp knocks on the window next to Jamie's bed, tearing her from her thoughts. She recognized it as her family's owl, Winthrop, and smirked. 'Speak of the devil,' she thought wryly to herself before pushing the window open to let the tawny owl inside.

"Thanks, Winthrop," she stroked the owl, surprised to see two envelopes. Then, Jamie groaned as she recognized one of the envelopes as crimson and thus, containing a Howler. She put the letters onto her bed. "You can go ahead home. I'm going to be home tomorrow anyway."

Winthrop hooted once and then took off out the window. Jamie closed the window and turned to see that the Howler was already smoking. She hurried to grab it before it lit her bedspread on fire. As soon as it burst open, her father's deep voice came booming out.

"A WEREWOLF? ARE YOU HONESTLY PLANNING TO MARRY A WEREWOLF? JAMIE, WHERE DID YOUR MOTHER AND I GO WRONG, HONESTLY? AND TO THINK, I'VE BEEN PAYING FOR YOU TO GO TO THAT BLASTED SCHOOL ALL THESE YEARS AND THE BEST YOU CAN MANAGE IS A WEREWOLF? IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL A CHRISTMAS PRESENT? BLOODY HELL, JAMIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ME!"

With that, the envelope burst into small flames and Jamie stepped on it harshly before it would light anything on fire. She looked around the room and sighed heavily, happy that each of the dormitories was completely sound proof.

To be honest, she had expected much worse. 'At least he didn't uninvite us to Christmas.'

Jamie reached down and forced open the other letter, which she knew would be from her mother, apologizing for her father's actions.

"_Jamie, love,_

"_We just received your letter. It was dated for almost a week ago - what took that ruddy owl so long, really? Anyway, I want to tell you that no matter what your father says, you know that you are allowed to marry whomsoever you like. While you know my thoughts on the matter, I wish you two only the best._

"_I look forward to seeing you in a few days - both of you._

"_And remember; don't take anything your father says seriously. You know he can be._

"_I love you, Mum_"

Jamie sighed heavily. Her mum hated it when she and her father fought and she was constantly getting in the middle of their rows, making it even worse on herself.

Deciding that she had to get out, she put on her shoes and cloak, hurrying out the door and down the stairwell that went to the common room. Once she arrived there, she was surprised to see James sitting at one of the tables, a book in his lap.

"James?" Jamie questioned. "What are you still doing here?"

"One of the Heads had to stay until after dinner tonight," James explained, shutting his book and setting it aside. "Lily and I flipped a coin and I lost."

"They couldn't have waited for you?" I asked, digging into the pocket of my cloak and finding my black mittens and Gryffindor scarf.

"You know how Sirius is," James shrugged. "He's probably trying to set up some elaborate prank for when I get there. Are you going for a walk?"

"Yeah, I need to get out of the Tower," Jamie nodded.

"Can I join you?" James asked, picking up his own cloak that was folding over the back of the chair he was sitting in.

"Why of course, dear cousin," Jamie agreed.

Once the two reached the grounds, they walked along the shore of the lake, which never froze, no matter how cold it was. It was quite warm for a late December afternoon, but neither of them were complaining.

"So, what's on your mind?" James asked, noticing how quiet Jamie was being.

"Do you really want to hear it?" Jamie folded her arms across her chest.

"Of course I do," James replied. "Is it juicy? I love me some juicy gossip."

"Hardly," Jamie sighed, kicking a rock hard in front of them. "I told my mum and dad about Remus and me."

"Ooh," James grimaced, knowing all about Jamie's father. "And how did Uncle Joel take the news?"

"Well, there's a nice burn in the rug in our dormitory now," Jamie rolled her eyes. "It's all because he's a werewolf. He doesn't even try to look past that and see Remus for the person he is, you know?"

James nodded. "However, you have to think that you're not only his only daughter, but also his only child. I'm sure that even if you were with a fine upstanding fellow such as myself - " Jamie snorted at this, but James continued further, " - he'd still have a hard time getting used to the idea."

"I know," Jamie nodded. She came to a stop by the old beech tree. "I just want him to be happy for me. I want my father to not only attend my wedding, but agree to walk my down the aisle." Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. "I want my family to understand and actually be a family for once."

"Oh, Jamie," beckoned James, stepping forward and wrapping her in his arms. "Some of us do understand and do want you to be happy."

"I know," Jamie sputtered, wiping her eyes with her mittens, but staying in James's arms.

"Uncle Joel will come around," James sighed, rubbing Jamie on the back. "He always does. Besides, if he doesn't, he'll have to answer to my mum."

Jamie laughed. "I guess that's true, eh? Aunt Janine to the rescue."

"You know it," James smiled as Jamie straightened up.

Jamie breathed in deeply and said, "Thanks, James."

"It's what I do," James grinned, then raised an eyebrow at the lake. "Friend of yours?"

Jamie spun around, half expecting to see the giant squid, but was surprised to see the nixie, Holly, from her Care for Magical Creatures class. "Oh, wow, hello."

Holly was still in the water, but the upper half of her body was exposed, showing that she was still wearing Jamie's necklace. She pulled herself forward more so she was only four or five feet away from where Jamie and James were standing.

"Hello, Jamie Williams," Holly greeted in her melodic voice.

"You remembered my name?" Jamie said in shock. After Holly looked from Jamie to James, Jamie remembered her manners. "Holly, this is my cousin, James. James, this is that nixie I told you about."

"Oh!" James said, his eyes wide in recognition, as though Jamie met nixies often. "The one that took Lily's necklace."

"Yeah, that one," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"Why are you crying, Jamie Williams?"

Jamie was taken off guard by the question and smiled wryly at Holly. "Let's just say I'm having family problems." Holly looked at her blankly. "Oh, that's right, you don't - er, well, my mum and dad aren't too pleased with me at the moment."

"I'm sorry," Holly apologized. "You shouldn't be troubled. It will work out."

"See, I told you," James nodded at Jamie. "This girl knows what she's talking about."

Holly stared at James for a moment, until he said, "Well, er, I should probably go up to the school. I'm supposed to be leaving soon and haven't even begun to pack."

"Okay," Jamie replied. "I'll be up in a while."

"See you," James nodded. "Nice meeting you, Holly."

Holly waited until James was out of earshot and turned to Jamie. "I don't like him. He talks a lot."

Jamie laughed, remembering that she was still a young teenager. Remus had told her that nixies age much like humans do - including maturity levels. "He takes some getting used to."

"Jamie Williams, will you be my friend?"

Jamie was, once again, taken completely off guard by the question. She looked into the pleading eyes of the nixie and realized how lonely it must be for her, being the only creature like her in the entire lake and not able to leave it.

"Of course," Jamie nodded to Holly. "But, please, just call me Jamie."

Holly grinned, showing humanoid teeth, besides the fact that they were dark green in color. "Alright, Jamie."

"However, I really should be going," Jamie gave Holly an apologetic look. "Remus my, er, boyfriend should be expecting me about now."

Holly nodded. "You'll visit me?"

"I'll be gone for a few weeks, but I'll come and see you as soon as I get back," Jamie smiled at the nixie, really drawn to her for some reason.

"Goodbye, Jamie," Holly began to retreat into the water.

"Merry Christmas!" Jamie called after Holly, smiling in spite of herself.

* * *

"Jamie!" Remus burst into the common room, almost two hours later, his face filled with excitement. James had left for Sirius's in that time, leaving Jamie sitting alone in the common room reading her Care for Magical Creatures text, researching more about nixies. 

"Hi, love," Jamie smiled, looking up at him. "Good news, I take it?"

"Incredible," Remus replied excitedly. "Come up to my room and I'll tell you about it. I want to get out of these robes."

Jamie agreed and followed him up to his room. It was oddly empty, without James, Sirius, or Peter there to be messing things up and trying to prank each other in the same room. Jamie sat cross-legged on Remus's bed as he dug for some Muggle clothes.

"Tell me what happened," Jamie demanded.

"They went for all of it," Remus grinned, taking off his robes and pulling his uniform's sweater vest over his head. "They've agreed to cover every cent. Can you believe it?"

"Oh, love, that's brilliant!" Jamie exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Oh, I'm so excited for you."

"Not for me, for us," Remus unbuttoned his shirt. "This is such a great opportunity."

Jamie just smiled as she watched Remus change into more comfortable clothes and continue to tell her about the meeting. After a few moments, he sat down next to Jamie on his bed.

"So, what did you do today?"

"Well, that nixie decided she wanted to be my friend and I got a response from my mum and dad," Jamie said quickly. "Oh, that's right, I didn't tell you. I told my mum and dad we're getting married."

"Really?" Remus asked. "First of all, the nixie from Care for Magical Creatures?"

Jamie nodded. "I know, isn't it slightly strange? She saw James and I walking along the shore and told me she didn't like James."

Remus laughed. "And second, you told your mum and dad we're engaged?"

"Yeah," Jamie smiled. "But, it's not that easy. My dad isn't too pleased."

"Well, we knew he wasn't going to be," Remus shrugged. "At least we passed that hurdle and they know. It would be a bit surprising come September when they received an invitation."

Jamie laughed, lying back in his bed. "That wouldn't have gone over too well."

"Nope," Remus replied, following her in suit and laying next to her.

"Remus, can I ask you something personal?" Jamie asked, rolling onto her side and propping her head up with her hand.

"Of course," Remus answered, mimicking her actions.

Jamie hesitated, but then barreled forward. "What's it like to be a werewolf?"

Remus's eyes widened in shock, then he sighed. "I was waiting for you to ask me that."

"You don't have to answer if you don't want," Jamie interjected quickly, trying to take the question back.

"No, it's fine," Remus shook his head. "I'm actually a little surprised that you took so long to ask me. What do you want to know exactly? What's it's like to transform?"

"I guess."

Remus breathed in deeply, then started, "Well, it's painful. My clothes rip, so I usually try to take them off before, but since sunset changes every day, it's hard to be ready in time." He paused for a moment, the continued, "It's odd, because it feels like this monster surfaces, which, I guess, is what actually happens. I used to try to fight it, but I rather lost the will with time, since I know there isn't any use. Once it takes control, I have no idea what happens. It's as though I'm unconscious the entire time."

He looked deep into Jamie's eyes and kissed her forehead. "It's hard, but I guess I've gotten past the point where I would feel sorry for myself and I've learned to deal with it. It's been happening for over ten years now.

"The hardest part is when it affects me before the full moon," Remus continued. "I don't know if you've noticed, because I try really hard not to act it when I'm around you, but I get really moody and will get angry over the smallest things. It's daft, but I can't help it. I usually only take it out on Sirius and he's gotten used to it, but I'm always afraid I'm going to do it to you."

"I'd understand," Jamie told him.

"I know you would," Remus nodded. "It would tear me up, though. I don't want to ever hurt you and I won't. I love you far too much."

Jamie smiled and leaned forward to kiss Remus softly. "I love you, too."

"I know," Remus replied, pulling Jamie close to him and kissing her back heatedly.

Remus rolled over so he was on top of her, straddling her hips. Jamie eased his sweater off over his head and he trailed kisses down to her collarbone, playing with the buttons on her cardigan at the same time. Jamie brushed his hands away and pulled it off, throwing it aside and burying one of her hands in his hair while the other brushed the skin on his sides.

"Remus," Jamie sighed, causing him to resurface and look her in the eye.

"Yes?" he asked.

In response, Jamie kissed him hard on the lips and when they broke apart, she said, "Please don't stop."

Remus blinked a few times and replied, "Are you sure?"

Jamie nodded, her fingers trailing down his chest. As Remus kissed her one more time, then proceeded to kissing her neck, she said, "I'm very sure."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Whoa nelly! Just kidding - it isn't that hardcore. :) I didn't want to skip, like, all of November and December, but I figured that it was better to do that then write some boring chapter that doesn't help the plot move along. Also, the song at the beginning is absolutely beautiful. If you're looking for some new music, check out Missy Higgins - she's got an amazing voice._

And I apologize for the fact that James, Jamie, and Jaclyn all look a lot alike. I didn't really notice it until this chapter. I'm not changing names, though..haha. :)  


_And that's that! Thanks for reading!

* * *

**La Mariposa: **As I already told you, yes. Haha.. I'm glad you liked it..I think it was the easiest chapter for me to write. I enjoy a little conflict muua ha ha. And, yes, the book is amazing. I'm definitely not complaining. :D  
_

_**Nicoley117: ** I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading:)_

**LandUnderWaves:** No, actually, I haven't yet, but I've been meaning to. My friend reads them and I'm vying to steal them all from him. :) Thanks for reading!

**dolly:** I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!  



	10. Let It Snow

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Let It Snow" was written by Sammy Cahn and Juliue Styne and I don't own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Ten: Let It Snow**

_When we finally say good night  
How I'll hate going out in the storm  
But if you really hold me tight  
All the way home I'll be warm_

"Hence forth, the prodigal daughter returns! Merry Christmas, love!"

"Merry Christmas, Mum," Jamie smiled, leading Remus into her parent's house, a bag of presents in one hand and Remus's own hand in her other.

"And, Remus," Mrs. Williams greeted, taking the bag from her daughter.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. - "

"Oh, absolutely not, we're all family here!" Mrs. Williams interrupted Remus with a twinkle in her eye. "Please, call me Claire."

Remus smiled shyly, nodding to her. Jamie gave him an encouraging smile and nodded for him to kick off his shoes at the front door as she did the same.

"Please, take off your cloaks," Claire instructed. "It took your father nearly all year to put them up, but we have those nice hooks there in the breezeway."

The two did as told and Jamie led Remus into the living room, where her father was already sitting with some other family members. Seated in various chairs throughout the living room were six of Jamie's relatives, including her father. From the entrance, Remus stopped Jamie.

"You didn't say other people were going to be here," Remus accused nervously.

"Love, it's Christmas," Jamie replied. "I thought it was implied. Besides, it's the Williams side of the family - Not exactly a force to be reckoned with."

"Alright," Remus said, swallowing hard.

"My favorite niece!" came a cry, forcing Jamie into the living room. Getting to her feet was Janine Potter, otherwise known as James's mother. She was a short woman, with long, curly black hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing half-moon glasses and bright green robes that were trimmed with a just as bright shade of red. In her hair was a single strand of holly.

"Merry Christmas, Aunt Janine," Jamie wrapped her arms around her aunt. "You're only saying that because I'm your only niece."

"That's true," Janine grinned. "I'm glad that you could follow up with tradition and make it this year, unlike that son of mine and the other one that eats my food. Why aren't you at Sirius's?"

"Because I'm the good one," Jamie shrugged, then smiling. "We're leaving tomorrow."

"Well, a Merry Christmas Eve to you, love," Janine nodded. She then turned to Remus. "And Remus! Can I thank you one more time for keeping my son from being expelled? I think you deserve some kind of reward for that."

"Twenty Galleons or so should suffice," Remus joked as Janine clapped him hard on the back. "It surely was a thankless, not too easy job."

"Well, I had him for eleven years," Janine shrugged. "I had to push him of to someone."

"Merlin's sake, could you share the girl, Janine?" Jamie's Uncle Richard asked, scooping Jamie up into his arms and lifting her up. When he set her back down he said, "And who might this young man be?"

"Actually, I don't think any of you have really met Remus," Jamie realized, sneaking a glance at Remus who looked petrified. "Remus, this is my dad's brother, my Uncle Richard," she motioned to the tall wizard that had just hugged Jamie seconds before, "my Aunt Janine and Uncle Harry, who you know as James's parents, my Granddad, John," she pointed to an older wizard with a beard that rivaled Dumbledore's, "my Grandmum, Dorothy," she indicated to the witch next to her Granddad, her knitting in one hand, "and you know my dad, Joel," she ended, nodding to a stern looking wizard who was staring at Remus appraisingly. "Everyone, this is Remus, my fiancé." She put emphasis on the last word.

Before anyone could say anything, Claire burst into the room and announced, "Dinner is ready! Get it while it's hot!"

"Mum, I'm going to show Remus up to where he'll be staying tonight before we come down to dinner," Jamie said as her family members got to their feet.

"Don't take to long," Claire nodded.

Jamie and Remus hurried back into the breezeway to fetch their trunk - they had packed their things together to conserve space - and Remus followed Jamie to the second floor of the house and down to the guest bedroom. The house was fairly large as Jamie's family was slightly well off, much like the rest of her family.

"This is it," Jamie announced, spreading her arms wide. The room had a queen size bed in the middle with its own walk in closet and bathroom.

"Wow," Remus replied, putting the trunk at the end of the bed. "All this isn't necessary."

"Well, you're not sleeping on the couch," Jamie smiled, glancing around the room fondly. "This is where my uncle would stay when he lived here."

"Your uncle that's downstairs?" Remus asked, looking at himself in the mirror that was above the large chest of drawers.

"The very same," Jamie nodded, crossing her arms across her chest. "He stayed for, oh, I don't know, two or three years? He moved out when I was thirteen."

"Why did he move in here?" Remus asked, then shot her an apologetic look in case he'd asked too much.

"He'd lost his job and couldn't pay rent for his flat, so my dad agreed to take him in," Jamie explained. "Knowing him he'd still live here if it wasn't for his being a werewolf."

"What?" Remus asked, spinning around to face her and quite shocked. "Why didn't you tell me you had a werewolf family member?"

"I didn't?" Jamie asked, thinking. "Oh, I guess not. Hey, Remus, guess what - my uncle is a werewolf. Love, it doesn't really come up in conversation."

"You'd think it would if your fiancé was one," Remus mused. "Oh, hey, guess what - your fiancé is a werewolf."

"Oh, don't be upset," Jamie said, walking up to him and putting her hands on his waist. "He's my Uncle Richard, not my Uncle Richard-That's-A-Werewolf. Just like you're Remus, not Remus-The-Werewolf."

Remus sighed and smiled in spite of himself, making Jamie go up on her tiptoes and kiss him lightly on the lips. "You'd think your dad would be more keen on me if his own brother is a werewolf."

"Love, no offense, but it really just makes it worse," Jamie replied, her face falling. "He sees my uncle, who is unable to keep a job, but I suspect it'd be that way if he wasn't a werewolf, lives off of his parents, and basically is a professional bum and he can't help but think that maybe that will happen to us."

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but Jamie put her hand over it before he could say anything. "I know that you're not like him and I know we're going to be fine. It's just that I'm his only child and he worries. But, don't worry - he'll come around."

"Intruding Aunt coming in the room," Janine announced, bursting into the guest bedroom, which, in itself, made Jamie and Remus jump apart. "I honestly think I saw smoke coming out of Joel's ears down there, so I suggest you two hurry."

"We were just about to come down," Jamie answered, sticking her tongue out at her aunt.

"So, your mum says that the two of you were looking at houses earlier today?" Janine asked, obviously not terribly concerned about getting the couple downstairs as she sat down in an armchair.

"Yes, in London," Remus nodded.

"Oh Christmas Eve?"

"It was the only time we'd be in this part of London all break, so the realtor gave us a break," Jamie explained.

"Find anything you liked?" Janine asked.

"There was a nice one," Jamie replied, but her face wasn't very hopeful. "The only problem was that we had to have our first and last month's rent and all this other security money, but we just don't have the money for that right now."

"I see, I see," Janine answered. "Well, let's get you two downstairs. Wouldn't want your dad's head to actually burst into flames."

* * *

"Dad?" 

It was much later that night, nearly Christmas morning, truth be told. Jamie was in her pajamas, her bathrobe covering herself up. She tiptoed into her father's den, where he was sitting in front of a roaring fireplace in a large armchair. He jumped at her voice.

"You startled me, sweet pea," her father replied, using the nickname that she hadn't heard in years. "Is anything the matter?"

"No - well, yes," Jamie said frankly, sitting down on the rug in front of him. "We need to talk about Remus."

"I trust you know full well how I feel on the subject," Joel said quite simply, his gaze not moving from the flames in the fireplace.

"Please, Daddy, hear me out," Jamie pleaded, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I can't happily marry him without knowing that you approve. Whether you like it or not, I will be walking down the aisle with that man - "

"Boy, Jamie, he's not even eighteen-years-old yet," Joel interrupted.

"But I am," Jamie put a hand to her chest. "That's an adult - even by Muggle standards."

"I know, it's just - it's that he's - "

"I know, Dad," Jamie sighed, leaning back. "You have to trust me, though. Remus is a good man. He has a huge heart and at some point, he decided to let me take up a large portion of it. He genuinely loves me and I don't think I'll ever find someone that cares about me as much as he does. He only has my best interests in mind, Daddy. I wouldn't do something as huge as get married with someone I didn't think is the right person."

Joel looked down at his daughter and, for the first time for as long as Jamie could remember, he smiled at her. "I know that, Jamie."

"I love him, Daddy," Jamie finished simply, still pleading with him with her eyes. "He loves me even more."

Joel nodded at her. "I know that as well. Your aunt hasn't stopped making me feel guilty for my behavior since the two of you started dating. While I don't completely approve of him, I love you too much to see you miserable. If this boy makes you happy, sweet pea, then I will see past the things that make me worry for you. I only want to see you happy."

Jamie grinned and got to her knees, wrapping her arms around her father. "Oh, Daddy, thank you so much."

"Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to start being nice to him," Joel said, patting his daughter on the back. "I'm his father-in-law - that's my God-given right."

Jamie rolled her eyes at him and smiled. "Whatever you say, Dad."

"I think it's about time for me to turn in, though," he got to his feet, reaching out to pull his daughter to her feet. "I'll see you in the morning bright and early for some present action."

"You bet. Good night, Daddy." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

When Jamie reached the upper level of the house, she could hear the shower running in Remus's room, so she went into her own. Her parents always left it exactly as how she left it before leaving for school, which meant that it was a complete disaster. Jamie flopped into her bed, nearly melting in the familiarity of it, when she saw a small wrapped box on top of her dresser.

Jamie got to her feet and walked over, picking up the box. She opened the envelope that was resting next to the box and quickly read the note.

_"Jamie,_

_"Use this money to get that dream house you were telling me about earlier. You deserve to be happy, too, love. Please let me know if you need any more. Oh, don't tell your Uncle Harry this is from me - you know how he can get when I spoil you too much._

_"Love, Auntie Janine"_

Jamie reached for the box and ripped open the wrapping. She took the top off the box and took out a small purse that was filled with Galleons. A gasp escaped from Jamie's throat. The amount of money would more than cover the amount they needed to pay for not just the security deposits, but also their first few months of rent on top of it

Jamie returned the lid to the box, knowing that Remus would object to the money, feeling as though it was charity. She began to formulate some sort of story as to what she would say to him when she heard the shower turn off in the room next to hers. Smiling, she quietly walked down to Remus's room and silently shut and locked the door, not wanting her parents to know, even though the master bedroom was on the first floor.

"Aw, I was hoping for just a towel," Jamie greeted, her legs dangling over the edge of the guest bed when Remus walked out of the bathroom in only a pair of green pajama pants.

"Would you like me to change for you?" Remus asked, his eyes twinkling.

"No, I can work with that," Jamie shot back, beckoning him closer. Remus walked forward, leaning towards her from between her legs. She put her hands on his hips and said, "I talked to my dad."

"What'd he have to say?" Remus asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice due to the topic of discussion.

"I think he's resigned to the idea of me not really caring what he thinks anymore and just wants to see me happy," Jamie shrugged, pulling him closer to her and wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head into his chest.

"No kidding?" Remus asked incredulously, running his fingers through Jamie's hair.

"Yeah," Jamie sighed, holding him tight, staring at the reflection of the two of them in the mirror.

"Well, that's a relief, isn't it?" Remus wondered.

"Mh hm," Jamie replied simply. "Look at them, Remus. Just look at them."

"Who?" Remus asked, then gazed in the direction she was looking to see the mirror. His hair was still wet and he looked particularly scrawny without a shirt on and with his too big pajamas riding low on his waist. There was a deep purple bruise visible on his hipbone, just under Jamie's arm. Meanwhile, one of Jamie's slender legs had snuck out from under her robe and her hair was wavy from letting it air dry out of the shower. "What about us?"

"We're so perfect," Jamie said, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Remus only smiled and she straightened up to look him in the eye. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Remus insisted half-heartedly.

"Okay," Jamie said, obviously unconvinced but not wanting to push him into an uncomfortable situation. Instead, she opted for a different uncomfortable situation. "By the way, Aunt Janine gave me a large amount of money for Christmas. I figure we could use it for that house we saw."

"What?" Remus asked. "On top of all the robes and that necklace she gave you?"

"Yes," Jamie swallowed. "She had left it in my bedroom as a surprise."

"Jamie, that's your Christmas money," Remus dictated. "Are you sure you want to use it for a house?"

"Not just any house, Remus - _our_ house," Jamie insisted.

"You're sure of that one?" Remus asked.

"Love, it's near perfect," Jamie nodded. In all reality, the house was less than luxurious. It was a two story, but it only had two bedrooms, one of which was hardly anything more than a closet and the master wasn't much bigger. It had one-and-a-half bathrooms, one of which was connected to the master bedroom, but the toilet was missing. The living room, kitchen, and dining room was primarily one room and the entire first floor, although there was a half wall dividing the floor in half.

"You don't want to look at others?" Remus pressed.

"We looked at nearly every house in London," Jamie exaggerated. "If you don't like it - "

"No, I agree with you," Remus nodded fervently. "It's just a lot different from what you're used to, you know?" He looked around the room and shrugged.

"I don't want what I'm used to, Remus," Jamie pulled him down to sit next to her on the bed. "I want something new. I'm going to be Mrs. Jamie Lupin, not just Jamie Williams. I want us to work together to get the things that we want, not live off of other people, including my mum and dad."

Remus looked at her as though he was still unsure, but then he leaned forward and kissed her quickly. "Then I think we'll have to make a pit stop in the city sometime to talk to that realtor."

Jamie squealed and threw her arms around Remus excitedly, pushing him back onto the bed. "Oh, Remus, this is working out so perfectly I can hardly stand it." She kissed him hard on the lips, causing him to sputter, "Jamie, you do know we're at your parent's house, right?"

"They're in bed," Jamie excused quickly, kneeling over him and untying her bathrobe from around her waist and shrugging it off, revealing her pajamas - a pair of small dark blue shorts and a red tank top. She bent forward, leaning on her elbows so her face was nearly touching his, her eyes gleaming with passion. "Besides, my mum has told me numerous times she wants lots of grandkids."

* * *

"Are you sure this is it?" Jamie asked, pulling her scarf closer around her neck to fight against the sudden turn in weather making everyone certain that it was, indeed, December in England. She looked over the edge of the railing, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder why there is that big hole in the snow bank down there." 

"Positive," Remus nodded, glancing at the front door of the second floor flat. He pressed down on the doorbell and stepped back by Jamie.

"Shhh!" Jamie and Remus exchanged a look of concern.

"It's them - hurry up!"

"James, shut your bloody mouth!"

"This is stupid. Lily, let's go into the kitchen."

"Sounds alright by me."

"You two are such gits."

"Like you should talk, Black."

"Carter, don't make me throw you over the railing into the snow bank again."

"I'd like to see it."

Suddenly, there was a scream from behind the door and many shouted protests. The door burst open, revealing Sirius, who gave a welcoming nod to Remus and Jamie, who had Jaclyn thrown over his shoulder, who was kicking her legs and pounding on his back.

"Sirius Black, if you throw me over again, by Merlin, I will - "

Jaclyn screamed as she fell down the story, but landed in a soft "plumph!" when she landed in the snow. The three, now joined with James and Lily, ran to gaze over the railing to see that Jaclyn was okay. She was on her feet, grumbling loudly as she stepped in her previously made footprints and made her way up to Sirius's flat.

"How's it going down there, Carter?" Sirius called down to her.

Jaclyn shot him the mother of all death glares, causing Sirius to run back into the flat, not before pausing to say, "Hi, Remus and Jamie. Welcome to my humble abode."

"Wow," Jamie said simply as Jaclyn tore past them into the flat.

"It's been like this since we got here," Lily sighed, shaking her head in mock disapproval. She then spread her arms wide, welcoming Jamie in for a hug. "Merry Christmas."

"You, too," Jamie said, then jumped onto her cousin, her legs on his hips, causing him to stumble backwards a bit, but staying on his feet and miraculously not spilling the two mugs of hot chocolate he was holding. "Jamesie-poo! I am on strict orders to make you feel wretched for missing the annual Williams-Potter family Christmas."

"Excuse me while I go sob for a while in complete solitude," James smiled, dropping Jamie and handing her one of the mugs. "Did I miss anything?"

"Well, your mum managed to bring the turkey back to life," Jamie shrugged.

"Nah, she did that at Easter two years ago with the ham, remember?" James reminded Jamie, causing the two of them to start laughing.

"And I'm marrying into this family?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you'll fit right in, love," Jamie joked, kissing him quickly. "Anyways, can we actually go into the flat or do we have to sit out here and freeze all holiday?"

The four of them went inside and Jamie and Remus put their cloaks in a closet next to the front door. Jamie glanced around the front entrance, which was alongside the living room. "It's cozy."

"Yeah," James nodded. "When he says he was a left a "bit" of money, he fails to mention that he could probably buy himself a small island with it if he wanted."

"Jamie, I'll show you to the room you and Remus will be sharing," Lily said suddenly, grabbing her best friend.

"Well, hold on, Remus, bring the - "

"No need!" Lily waved over her shoulder, dragging Jamie into the guest bedroom on nearly the opposite end of the flat. As soon as they were inside the room, Lily closed the door behind them.

"No need to bring my trunk of clothes in the room I'll be staying in for nearly two weeks?" Jamie inquired, folding her arms over her chest as Lily wheeled around to face her.

"You and Remus shagged."

Jamie snorted into her mug of hot chocolate, her eyes wide as she stared at Lily. "What the - how did - I prefer to call it - where was - "

"I knew it!" Lily clapped her hands together. "I just knew it the second I saw the two of you together. The sexual tension that was just building whenever you were together is gone now."

"Can we talk about something else?" Jamie asked, an uncomfortable look on her face.

"No way!" Lily protested, leading Jamie to the bed in the middle of the guest room and making her sit next to her. "I need details."

Jamie scrunched up her nose. "Lily, I'm not going to give you a graphic description."

Lily rolled her eyes. "That's not what I'm asking. Why did you finally decide to do it? Blimey, you've only been together forever."

Jamie looked like she was going to protest again, but she sighed when she looked at Lily's pleading eyes. "I don't know why you want to know this."

"Because I'm your best friend and best friends need to know these things," Lily waved a hand dismissively.

"Fine," Jamie resigned. "It just felt right, you know? I mean, we could have done," she hesitated, then said, "you know, it - "

"Say it with me, Jamie," Lily joked. "S-E-X. Sex."

"Sod off, Evans," Jamie demanded. "Look, just make sure you don't tell Jaclyn, okay?"

"Don't tell Jaclyn what?" Jaclyn walked into the guest room, her hair still packed with snow and looking thoroughly victimized. She looked from Jamie to Lily suspiciously.

"What I got you for Christmas," Jamie lied without missing a beat. "I swear, Lily, if you tell her…"

"Sorry, Jaclyn, I know I said I would, but I value my life," Lily threw up her hands in protest. She then whispered, "Meet me in the kitchen tonight at midnight. Bring the goods."

Jaclyn rolled her eyes. "You two are far too weird for your own good. But, come on, we've all been dying to sing carols and Remus is finally here to play piano." She jerked her head toward the library, then ducked out of the room.

Jamie began to follow her cousin, but Jamie put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She looked oddly serious as she met Jamie's eye. "I won't say anything to her - I promise."

Jamie gave her a nod of thanks then said, "Come on - we all know how tone deaf they are. We don't want the neighbors complaining."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **This is super long! Yikes - I didn't expect it to be so long. I guess that makes up for the shorter ones? Yup, mh hm. Thank you, dolly, for pointing out the mistake in my song!_

_Current list of names I use that look far too alike: James, Jamie, Jaclyn, Janine. Sorry, guys..I didn't mean for it to happen like that and I apologize if it's hard to read._

_Thanks for reading!

* * *

_**La Mariposa:** Well, I'm constantly worried that I go too far. It's kind of a ongoing fear of mine. Oh, and I hope you enjoyed the silliness at "your" expense. :D

**Nicoley117:** I'm kind of basing a lot of Remus/Jamie's relationship on my own with my best friend, to be honest, minus the whole being in a relationship and getting married kind of thing. My best friend and I have an unique relationship..and the leaving to write the book is based on something going on with me and him in real life. I think Jamie might get used to it, but that doesn't mean I will, haha. :) Thanks for reading!

**dolly:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Keep on reading!

**RisuMusume:** I didn't mean to be innacurate. When I first said his middle name was "Thomas" I had a reason behind it, but then I remembered that I was completely off. JKR didn't really give us any of the other Marauders middle names and it completely slipped my mind that she gave us Remus's. I thought that I had fixed it, because I did in my documents on my computer, but obviously I haven't. Thank you for pointing it out to me.


	11. The Christmas Song

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. "The Christmas Song" has been sang and resang many times over the years and I'm unsure of the original singer. Obviously, I don't own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Eleven: The Christmas Song**

_And so I'm offering this simple phrase  
To kids from one to ninety-two  
Although it's been said many times, many ways  
Merry Christmas to you_

Remus woke up slowly; taking a moment to place the unfamiliar bed he woke up in was Sirius's guest bed and the slender figure in his arms as Jamie. Her breathing was deep and slow, telling him that she was still in a deep sleep. He ran a hand up her back, feeling the soft fabric of her tank top. He could feel her breath on his chest, their legs wrapped around each other. Remus ever so softly pushed Jamie's hair out of her face and he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Her eyes were closed, obviously, but her lips were slightly apart and her eyebrows were furrowed, showing that she was dreaming.

Remus had fully appreciated waking up to his fiancée in his arms three mornings in a row and wasn't looking forward to going back to Hogwarts when they had to sleep in separate dormitories - even if he had the rest of their lives. They had quickly grown used to their sleeping habits and Remus knew that once Jamie fell into a deep sleep, she was near impossible to move or wake up.

Glancing across the room at the digital clock on the dresser, Remus saw that it was nearly nine o'clock, meaning that the others would be itching to open gifts soon. Because Sirius just had to have everyone have a traditional morning ritual of opening presents, they had decided to postpone the opening until the morning after Jamie and Remus had arrived - even if it was the 26th. Not wanting to wake leave the warmth of Jamie on his chest, Remus closed his eyes once again, wrapped his arms around her, and began to drift back to sleep when he vaguely heard someone whisper, "Alohomora."

"Prongs, shhh."

"I didn't say anything."

"Well, you are now."

"You know, Padfoot, you can be a git sometimes."

"Don't start with me, Prongs."

"Are we going to wake them?"

"Moony is awake. He's faking."

"How can you tell?"

"He's sleeping how he always does when he knows we're going to go prank someone and doesn't want to be involved."

"Really?"

Remus opened one of his eyes to see his two friends tip toeing across the bedroom to where he was laying. When he did, they both stopped in their tracks and looked at each other, as though this wasn't part of the plan at all.

"Blimey, I was bluffing about him faking," Sirius continued to whisper to James, not moving.

"What are we going to do now?" James asked.

"Maybe if we stand here, he won't notice."

"Oh, I have an idea," James cleared his throat and standing up straight. "Remus Lupin, this is a dream. You are dreaming right now. In fact, dreaming is what you're doing."

"Indeed, dreaming is the current state of mind you are in at his precise moment in time," Sirius added, nodding.

Remus opened his other eye and blinked a few times, looking at his two friends in disbelief. "Is there an actual reason you're being annoying prats or are you just being yourselves?"

"I believe he called us prats, Padfoot," James noted, looking at his best friend.

"I believe you heard correctly, Prongs," Sirius replied, dramatically putting a hand over his heart and closing his eyes and dispensing a fake sob. "I'm not sure if I'll ever recover from this."

"Is she really still sleeping?" James asked, walking over to the bed and bending low to look at Jamie's face. "Bloody hell, she is."

"She's a sound sleeper," Remus shrugged, running his fingers through her hair protectively.

"JAMIE, WAKE UP!" Sirius shouted, only causing Jamie to scrunch up her face and shift slightly. "Good Lord."

"Once, when the two of us were real young, I was staying the night at her house," James launched into a story. "Aunt Claire managed to come into her room where we were sleeping four times before she got Jamie out of bed and that was only with magic."

"Put your wand away, Padfoot," Remus warned as he saw Sirius dig into his pocket. Sirius gave him a dejected look, but withdrew his hand nonetheless.

"I believe that was the same slumber party that I talked you into wearing that one pink dress, remember, James?" Jamie asked, her eyes still closed and not moving. "Or, wait, was that the one that you fell down an entire flight of stairs because you were trying to wear my mum's high heels?"

"I believe that was the one that you shut your mouth, actually," James countered, jumping onto the bed and pulling Jamie off of Remus, causing her to shriek.

"James Potter, if you tickle me I swear you'll never give me little nieces and nephews," Jamie threatened, James pinning her to the bed.

"Wouldn't they just be your second cousins?" Sirius mused.

James hovered over Jamie, a sly grin spreading over his face. "No, James, don't you dare spit on me!" With all the strength she could muster, she pushed her cousin not only off the bed but halfway across the room. She then cleared her throat and patted down her hair.

"If the two of you don't mind, could you please give us a few moments?" Jamie asked as though nothing had just happened. "I'd really like to make myself presentable before we open presents and at the moment I'm not nearly decent enough to be seen by other humans."

"Ten minutes," Sirius said warningly, holding up ten fingers. "Any more and your presents are being donated to the Sirius Black Likes to Open Other People's Christmas Presents Organization."

"Which just so happens to fund the James Potter Forgot to Buy Presents for People Who Bought Him Presents Charity Event," James added before following Sirius out the door and closing it behind them.

"'Don't you dare spit on me'?" Remus asked, rolling over so he was lying on his stomach between Jamie's legs and his chin was resting on her stomach.

"He used to do this thing where he'd pin me to the ground and start a big goop of spit down until it got on my face," Jamie explained, a disgusted look upon her face. "Once he got it in my mouth and I was scarred for a long time. It was like I made out with my cousin."

"Never say those words in that order again," Remus replied, pulling up Jamie's tank top to expose her bare stomach.

"They could be in a different order and have the same meaning, you know," Jamie noted, putting her hands in his hair as he began to kiss her stomach. "Such as, 'It was my cousin I, like, made out with' or 'Like, I made out with? It was my cousin.' Well, I suppose that one doesn't fit quite as well."

"Mh hm," Remus murmured.

"Remus," Jamie scolded. "Remus Lupin, you just put your tongue in my belly button."

"So?" Remus asked, pulling himself closer to her face with his elbows.

"That's gross," Jamie replied. "What if I had belly button fuzz? It's in your mouth now. I think I just vomited a bit."

"There wasn't any fuzz," Remus rolled his eyes, making to kiss her, but she put her hand over his face.

"I don't want to kiss your belly button lips," Jamie informed him. "Go brush your teeth."

"Are - are you kidding?" Remus cocked an eyebrow, pulling her hand down.

"No," Jamie replied, pulling his face to her and kissing him square on the lips. He instantly returned the kiss, heating it up without hesitation. Jamie's hands traveled down Remus's back as Remus's went the opposite direction up Jamie's tank top.

"Jamie, I just wanted to tell you that Sirius - oh, shit, sorry! I'm so sorry! Shit!"

Remus rolled off Jamie and Jamie slid out from under the blanket. "It's okay, Lily."

"I'm really sorry!" Lily apologized again, her hands clamped over her eyes.

"It's okay," Jamie repeated, pulling one of Remus's t-shirts on over her tank top and leaving her brown pajama pants on. "You can look."

Lily slowly lowered her hands, her face as red as her hair. She looked from Jamie, who was standing with a hand on her hip, to Remus, who was reaching for one of his t-shirts himself. "Sorry."

"What were you saying?" Jamie asked, glancing back to see if Remus was ready.

"Er, well, Sirius is, um, eyeing your gift from Jaclyn," Lily stammered, still uncomfortable. "But, I'll tell them you're coming."

"Thanks, Lily," Jamie smiled as she watched her best friend hurry out of the door as quickly as she could.

"That was embarrassing," Remus smirked, sitting on the bed.

"For her," Jamie added, coming over to him and putting on of her legs on either side of him and sitting in his lap. "Remember when I stayed at Lily's nearly the entire holiday summer before last, when she was on-again off-again dating the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain? Well, I'd walk in on them snogging in her bedroom near every morning. He'd come by floo during the night and they didn't have enough sense to have him gone before everyone got up."

"That's only because Lily is brilliant, though," Remus replied, pulling Jamie close to him and kissing her softly on the lips once. He bounced his knees once and said, "Now, come on, let's go open some presents."

* * *

After a frenzy of gift opening and nearly an entire afternoon of playing with newly acquired gifts, the groups of friends were sitting in the living room of Sirius's flats, quite at a loss of entertainment. 

"I'm bored," Sirius, complained, losing interest in his new elaborate chess set that James, Remus, and Peter had gone in on together, even though Peter hadn't been able to attend the opening.

"What do you propose we do?" Jaclyn asked, then grimacing as she spit out a Bertie Bott's Bean into her empty glass.

"Let's play spin the wand," Sirius grinned.

"Oh, Sirius, that's so first year," Lily rolled her eyes, not looking up from her large book that Remus got her, which was full of different kinds potions, more modern than what their textbook gives. Lily always excelled at Potions and was far too excited to receive an education book.

"I'll play," Jamie sat up, putting down a box that contained a vast amount of scented candles, which she had been smelling, that she received from Jaclyn. "However, I'm not kissing anyone my gender or in my bloodline."

"So, that leaves Remus and Sirius," James raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, and I won't be kissing Sirius," Jamie added, giving Sirius a keen look.

"That hurts," Sirius said, pretending to be in distress, a hand over his heart.

"If we're aiming toward lame games that Jamie can't duck out of, we can play truth or dare," Lily suggested, almost looking sorry that she said it as she closed her book. She glanced at Jamie and Jaclyn, remembering what had happened last time they had played.

Before any of the girls could protest, though, James said, "That sounds like a not too shabby idea. Get into a circle."

Reluctantly, the group got into a circle on the floor of Sirius's sitting room, pushing boxes, wrapping paper, and gifts out of the way. Sirius pulled his wand out, setting it in the middle of the group. He looked around his group of friends, his trademark smirk on his face.

"I'll be going first, since this is my home and all," he announced, spinning the wand.

"Well, this is a fancy way to play," Jamie commented as they waiting for the wand to stop.

"Prevents cheating," James shrugged.

"How can you cheat at truth or dare?" Lily asked, and then saw that it landed squarely on her. "Oh, blimey."

Sirius laughed diabolically, causing his friends to give him a look of concern. "After that, I'm going to have to go with truth," Lily said.

"You are no fun, Miss Evans," Sirius commented, taking a moment to think hard. "Let's see…what did you think when you first found out you were a witch?"

"I thought it was some kind of joke, to be honest," Lily began, pulling her knees to her chest. "I mean, after eleven years of being told magic is only pretend, it was pretty shocking. However, once my parents and I realized that it was actually happening and that I was actually invited to attend a school for witchcraft, it began to sink in and it made more sense. Like everyone, I had been doing some weird stuff my entire life and not being able to understand why."

"What kind of stuff?" Sirius interrupted.

"Hey, one question per spin," Jaclyn spoke up. Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

"I suppose that means it's my turn," Lily leaned forward to spin the wand. It landed squarely on James, who was seated next to her.

"Dare," James said instantly.

"I dare you to kiss me," Lily smirked, causing the others to groan.

"Oh, please," Remus pushed James, who was seated to his left, as he planted one on Lily.

"Like you should talk, Moony," James joked after he finished kissing Lily and spun the wand. It landed on Jaclyn.

"Truth," Jaclyn sighed, not wanting to do something James Potter could concoct.

"Do you actually like Gideon Prewett?" James asked her.

Jaclyn turned scarlet as soon as the words left his mouth and she demanded, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, puh-lease, Jac," James replied, enjoying how uncomfortable he was making her. "Everyone knows that you two have been sneaking up to the Astronomy Tower since the Halloween Ball."

Jaclyn opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly wishing she had bitten the bullet and chosen dare. "Well, er, Gideon is really nice and, well, I don't know, we'll see what happens between us in the future."

James opened his mouth to say more, but Sirius interrupted and said, "Moving forward - Jaclyn, your turn."

"You'll get yours," Jaclyn warned James, reaching forward and spinning the wand - which stopped in front of James. The teenagers laughed loudly, while James swallowed hard, giving Jaclyn an apologetic look.

"What do you say, James?" Jaclyn asked, her eyes dancing playfully.

"I think I'm going to take my chances with dare," James replied.

"Oh, I am so glad to hear that," Jaclyn said. "James Potter, I dare you to the above flat and propose to whoever answers the door."

The room was filled with howls of laughter while James stared at Jaclyn with a "you've-got-to-be-kidding" look on his face. When she just continued to stare at him smartly, he said, "Alright."

The six of them put on cloaks and shoes, all of them going to the flat above, but only James going to the door. The other five hid behind the corner, trying to control their laughter as James shot them a reproachful look. He pressed down on the doorbell and swallowed hard as he waited for someone to come to the door.

After a few moments, the door opened, revealing a tall man with curly black hair, his green eyes wide with confusion. "Can I help you?"

'_Bloody hell_,' James thought to himself, fully aware of the fact that his friends could hear every word he was saying. "Sir, I have been watching you for many weeks now. I've seen the things you buy at the grocery, the items that you see fit to put into the garbage bin. I - I, well, I think that the only thing I can say is that I am completely and utterly smitten with you."

The man looked at James in disbelief, glancing over his shoulder as though expecting someone to be there with a hidden camera or something of the sort. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No," James replied fervently, becoming wrapped up in the character. "I, well, I think that there is only one thing two young gents like ourselves can do in times like this." He dropped to one knee, closed his eyes as though struggling for words, then looked up at the man, who clearly thought he was insane, and said, "Will you marry me?"

For what felt like hours, the man stared at James, his mouth hanging open. Finally, he said in a hushed voice, "Look, my boyfriend is back in our bedroom. If he weren't here, I'd be all over you. Maybe you could come back later tonight?"

James tried to ignore the fact that his friends were now laughing uncontrollably and got to his feet. "Uh…sure. Maybe."

"Great," the man replied, then said, "My name is Kevin, by the way."

After the door closed, James stared at the Christmas wreath hanging on it for a few moments before turning to look at his friends, who were all still laughing at his situation. Jamie and Jaclyn exchanged high fives and Lily called out, "Looks like I lost my boyfriend to another man."

"Ha-ha, guys," James replied, narrowing his eyes and leading them back to Sirius's flat.

Once they were all seated again, James glared at Jaclyn one more time, who was looking as though she was quite pleased with herself. "Anyways," James said curtly, spinning the wand so it landed on Jamie. He made eye contact with his cousin, who was sitting between Remus's legs, his arms wrapped around her. "Well?"

"Uh," Jamie, thought, unsure of what she wanted to wage her dignity for, and decided on, "Truth, I suppose."

"Well, I'm going to ask this, even though we all know the answer, my prude cousin," James started, obviously wanting to make everyone's lives miserable that day. "Are you a virgin?"

"Why do my family members always ask me the sex questions?" Jamie asked, glancing at Jaclyn, who shrugged at her. "No, I'm not."

"What?" Jaclyn demanded. "But before you said you and Remus hadn't shagged yet!"

"Yes," Jamie shrugged.

"Wait, you had sex with someone before me?" Remus asked, pulling away from Jamie.

"Wait, you two have?" Jaclyn asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Am I ever glad I suggested this," Lily muttered, looking guilty.

"Who?" Remus demanded of Jamie.

"Why don't you guys just leave her alone?" Sirius put in, clearing his throat. "I'm thinking we should do something else."

Remus whipped around and looked from Sirius to Jamie. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

"Remus, wait!" Jamie called as he swiftly got to his feet, storming out of the room and leaving the others.

"Jamie, when did - "

"Jaclyn, this is not the time," Jamie snapped at her, jumping to her own feet.

"I'll go talk to him," Sirius offered.

"No, I'll do it," Jamie resigned, leaving the same way Remus did.

"So, uh, about those Cannons," James said lamely after a few moments of silence, not succeeding in alleviating the tension around them.

* * *

"Remus, where are you?" Jamie called, hurrying through Sirius's flat, becoming more and more annoyed with the situation with every step she took. "You are completely and utterly blowing this out of proportion!" 

She burst into the bedroom she was sharing with Remus to find him pacing the room, not even looking up to look at her when she took a few timid steps toward him after closing the door. After a few moments of Jamie watching Remus pace, she cleared her throat.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes," Remus replied shortly, skidding to a stop in front of her, his eyes flashing in a manner she'd never seen before. "You can start by telling me when you had sex with my best friend."

"When I was still dating him!" Jamie replied shrilly. "What - did you think I cheated on you with the man that cheated on me? Is that really what you think of me, Remus?"

Remus stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment, then recovered. He tried to calm himself down, as most of the reason he was upset was alleviated, only leaving a different question on his mind. "You only dated him for a year."

"Not even," Jamie sighed, glad that he finally stopped yelling. "Look, it only happened twice, just before it was over. I had thought that if I just gave in to him and slept with him he'd stop cheating on me. Nevertheless, then I found out he hadn't, so I broke up with him. I was only fifteen and didn't know any better."

"It took you over two years to - "

"Love, he hurt me bad," Jamie interrupted, feeling tears rise to her face. "I didn't want to get hurt again or do any hurting for the matter - especially to someone I love as much as you. Sex complicates relationships to no end and I didn't want to take something as complex and intimate as it so lightly with you."

Remus looked at her in silence, feeling guilty as her tears began to flow down her face, then turned to sit on the bed. He gave Jamie a look that invited her to sit next to him and she obliged. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I knew you'd get mad, for one," Jamie explained to him, glancing away. "Second, I didn't really think that it mattered all too much. It was a stupid decision I made in desperation because I thought I was in love, although now I know how wrong I was, because I'm in love with you, Remus."

Remus looked away from Jamie, obviously a little embarrassed at the situation. He swallowed, then looked at her meekly. "I'm sorry - I think I might have overreacted."

"You think?" Jamie asked, smirking at him.

"It just seems as though there are a lot of things you haven't told me and I'm finding them all out at once," Remus added, lying back in their bed with Jamie following him.

"How so?" she asked.

"Well, you hadn't told me about your Uncle Richard or this," Remus suggested. "Jamie, you don't think we're rushing into this wedding thing too much, do you?"

Jamie cocked her head in a surprised way, her eyes wide. "Are you rethinking it?"

"No, not at all," Remus insisted, putting his hand on her own. "I was just wondering what you were thinking."

"I'm thinking that if I didn't want to marry you, I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me back in September," Jamie replied, laying her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

"Promise?" Remus asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"I promise, love," came her reply as she pulled their dark blue comforter up over them. She leaned up and kissed him softly before laying back down next to him.

"I'm sorry I got so angry," he added, rolling over onto his side and putting his hand on her stomach, running his fingers across her.

"It's alright," Jamie said, wiggling out of his t-shirt and leaving only her tank top.

Taking her hint, Remus settled above her, steadying himself with one hand above her head as the other one ventured underneath her tank top. Jamie pulled his face down to her own and began to passionately kiss him, his lips feeling where her face was still wet from her tears.

"I love you," Remus murmured, her hands reaching down and pulling his t-shirt over his head.

"I love you, too," Jamie replied, her hands trailing his chest. "So much."

* * *

"They're fine," Lily reported, walking into the living room and seating herself on the couch next to James. 

"How do you know?" Sirius asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Lily answered, giving him a look.

"Oh," Sirius nodded, understanding.

"I don't get it," Jaclyn mused, sitting cross-legged next to the Christmas tree. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"She only told me because I figured it out," Lily shrugged.

"Jamie isn't the kind of person that tells everyone the intimate things in her life," James explained, looking up from the Quidditch book Jamie had given him. "She's been like that all her life."

"Besides, she probably didn't want you to get all green-eyed and jealous," Sirius added.

When Jaclyn opened her mouth angrily to protest, Lily said, "Oh, come on, Jac, don't pretend you weren't upset when you kept grilling her for information, despite that she was mid-row with Remus."

Jaclyn closed her mouth, feeling incredibly uncomfortable, despite that she was surrounded by her closest friends. She forced herself to shrug and said, "I was just surprised."

"Sure," James replied, returning his gaze to his book. "I hate to be the frank one here, but the two of you need to get over your little crushes on them before you get crushed even worse. It's nice that you like them, but, still - would you really be willing to hurt your friends in order to get what you want?"

"Not to mention, do you honestly think it would work out if you did break them up?" Lily added.

Jaclyn got to her feet silently, retreating to the library. Sirius shook his head at his two friends after Jaclyn left. "I don't think that it's really any of your business."

"It is when you're messing with my best friend," Lily replied, almost heatedly as though threatening Sirius if he said more.

"Besides, I'm over her," Sirius insisted, getting to his feet as well and gathering his things. "I'm going to turn in early. See the two of you in the morning."

"Good night," James said to his best mate as he left the room.

"Were we out of line?" Lily asked James, giving him a concerned look.

"Someone had to say it," James sighed.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Went from silly to pretty serious quite quickly there, eh?_

_Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!_


	12. And So It Goes

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. "And So It Goes" is by Billy Joel and I don't own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twelve: And So It Goes**

_In every heart there is a room  
A sanctuary safe and strong  
To heal the wounds of lovers past  
Until a new one comes along_

"_Mum - Dad…NO!_"

Jaclyn awoke with a start, sitting upright and covered in a cold sweat. She was breathing hard, her heart racing, and she tried to calm herself down when she realized she was in the sitting room of Sirius's flat, which was dimly lit by a candle across the room.

Jaclyn wiped her brow with the back of her hand and tried to recall the nightmare that had awoken her. However, as was the case with most of her dreams, the harder she tried to recall the details, the quicker they ebbed away. She furrowed her brow, struggling to remember. '_Something about Mum and Dad…_'

Suddenly, the sitting room was flooded by a dull light. Jaclyn gazed through the door that led to the kitchen and saw Sirius's shadow being cast against the far wall. Getting to her feet, Jaclyn wrapped her afghan around her shoulders and tiptoed to the kitchen.

"What are you doing up?"

Sirius jumped slightly, almost dropping his butter knife that he was buttering two pieces of toast with. He glanced at Jaclyn and said, "I could ask you the same thing. Did I wake you?"

Jaclyn shook her head. "I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?"

Sirius held up a piece of toast to Jaclyn, who took it, and said, "Same reason. Actually, today marks the day I ran away from home, so I've been thinking a lot about my family."

"You ran away from home?" Sure, Jaclyn had thought about running away from time to time because she was upset with one of her parents, but that didn't mean she would ever follow through with it.

Sirius nodded, a grim look on his face. "My mum and father weren't really the kind of people I could see myself associating with."

"I've - I've heard rumors," Jaclyn mentioned timidly, hoping not to anger him.

Sirius only chuckled to himself. "Who hasn't heard the rumors? Sadly, I can assure you that they're all true. Well, except for the one about my great-grandmum actually being a serpent of some sort. I'm not even sure how that one came about."

Jaclyn smiled good-naturedly, understanding that humor was the only way Sirius knew how to get out of a potentially uncomfortable situation. "I'm sorry you had to grow up in that sort of environment."

Sirius shrugged, seating himself at the kitchen table. "It's like they say - you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Lucky for me, though, my lot of friends opened their arms to be my family right off the bat. Besides, my family disowned me soon after I moved out."

"I guess I don't completely understand," Jaclyn admitted, sitting across the table from him. "You're nearly top in out class, funny, quite good-looking, and a loyal person. Where exactly do they find grounds for disowning you?"

Sirius chuckled again, and then sighed heavily. "Oh, Jaclyn, if only you knew my family. As you may remember from detention as my wonderful brother so aptly pointed out, for the first eleven years of my life, my parents treated me as though I was some sort of prince. I was Sirius Black, heir to the Black fortune and, in their eyes, royalty. Whatever I wanted, I got, no matter how extravagant and expensive it may have been.

"Then I received my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Naturally, my parents were thrilled and warned me of the horrors of blood-traitors, Mudbloods, and half-breeds and told me that I would find many new friends in the Slytherin House - which, of course, would be the house I'd be sorted into."

"But you were sorted into Gryffindor," Jaclyn pointed out, beginning to realize.

"But I was sorted into Gryffindor," Sirius repeated. "At first I was positively devastated, of course. I tried to prolong telling my mum and dad the truth as long as I could, but McGonagall had to send some sort of letter home to them after a particularly nasty prank Prongs and I had done and that's when they realized the truth.

"The Howlers came almost daily. It got so bad that I would wait up in our dormitory until breakfast was near over so that I wouldn't have to face the rest of the school when mail came. It was about that time that I realized that Prongs, while he was pureblood, wasn't afraid to become friends with half-Muggles or Muggle-borns. He never said anything derogatory about them as my family had. When I had asked him about it, he said, 'On the inside we're all the same, Sirius. What difference does it make who our family is?'

"I was dumbfounded. All my life I had been told I was superior to these people. Before long, I broke out of my shell that my parents had brainwashed me into and, obviously, became friends with all three of the things they'd warned me against. And, to top it all off, I was this whole new sort of happy - not the happy I had been for so many years, where I did as I was told and received a gift in return."

Sirius paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "The first summer back home was probably the worst. Despite all of the Howlers and angry letters and lack of birthday and Christmas presents, I thought that maybe, just maybe, my parents would treat me as the same Sirius I had been all my life. Of course, I was sorely mistaken. I quickly realized that Regulus had taken my place in my parent's lives and I was one of the black sheep of the Black family.

"Luckily, James's mum and dad had agreed to allow me to spend the majority of the holidays at their house and that's what I've done every summer and Christmas holiday since, except this one, obviously. Mr. and Mrs. Potter treated me as though I was their own son, a treasure in their eyes, and they taught me what a real family was like. They loved me, even though I was friends with "impure" people.

"However, last holiday I received a letter from my mum asking me to come home for the holidays. I knew better than to actually expect that they had come to their senses and were going to welcome me back to the family with open arms, but I won't deny that the hope was somewhere in the back of my mind. Prongs had offered to come with me, just in case things got out of hand, but I wouldn't let him.

"Sure enough, the only reason I had been invited home was because my mum and dad wanted me to be taken off their will so that Regulus would be the heir. The Black family dates back to the beginning of time, basically, and ever since then, there has been this magical contract, so to speak, that ensured the first-born son of a family to inherit the fortune. However, the magic is too powerful to do break, so I had to be there to do some sort of spell.

"I don't know why I didn't go through with it, exactly, but I suppose it was only because I was insulted. Anyways, to make a long story short, I ended up on the Potter's doorstep while they were in the middle of Christmas dinner, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter took me in without question. I stayed at their place the remainder of the holiday and the majority of the summer holiday, but then my Uncle Alphard died and he had left me quite a bit of money, which I used to buy this flat, as you can see.

"And now, here I am, sitting in my kitchen with you, telling you my life story," Sirius finished with a cocky grin. "I'm sure they'll make a Muggle movie about it someday."

"Your life hasn't exactly been easy," Jaclyn said slowly, pointing out the obvious.

"No, it hasn't," Sirius admitted, "but it could have been a lot worse. I could be my brother, completely drunk with the notion of being spoiled rotten to the point of abandoning all rational thought and giving into whatever our parents say. In all honesty, I'm glad that everything that has happened to me has. Had I not been sorted into Gryffindor and gotten myself wrapped up in Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail, who knows where I'd be now."

"On the other side of the room during our detention," Jaclyn mused. "My life would certainly be a lot less entertaining."

"No kidding," Sirius sighed, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "I haven't heard from my family in ages now, except for when Regulus aims to be funny at school. I like it better that way, though."

Jaclyn shook her head. "I can't imagine why people can think that things like bloodline matters so much."

"Makes you a little sick, doesn't it?" Sirius asked, smirking.

"Well, I'm half-Muggle," Jaclyn explained, playing with her fingers atop the table, "so I'd be one of those people your family and the Death Eaters are so fit to disliking."

"And Lily's Muggle-born, Remus is half-Muggle somewhere in his family, Lauren's mum is a Muggle, and Peter is half-Muggle as well," Sirius ticked off on his fingers as he mentioned each of their friends. "Meanwhile, James, Jamie, and I are pure-blood, but the biggest bunch of blood-traitors what with the people we surround ourselves with."

"I didn't realize," Jaclyn replied, nodding slowly.

"It's frightening, really," Sirius nodded with her, "to know that your group of friends are all prime candidates for Death Eaters. Not to mention the group of Slytherin gits we've managed to collect as enemies in school. We're almost asking for it."

Jaclyn laughed quietly at his remark, running a hand through her curly hair. "Nothing can be simple in the world anymore, can it?"

"Nope," Sirius said grimly. "But, that's what keeps everything interesting."

"Of course," Jaclyn agreed in the same tone he was using. They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Jaclyn announced, "I think I should probably try to sleep. If I don't get enough, I'm royally cranky."

"Like I don't already know that," Sirius joked, pulling away from the table and getting to his feet. "You're fine in the sitting room, then?"

"It's perfect, really," Jaclyn insisted, as Sirius had asked her every night since they had arrived at the flat.

"You can always have my bed if it'd be more comfortable," Sirius offered, but Jaclyn only shook her head.

"I wouldn't want to put you out, Sirius," she ended the conversation.

"Alright, then," he replied, giving her a nod. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Wait, Sirius," Jaclyn said, turning around to see him stop. "Before you said that you've become friends with not only so-called blood-traitors and Mudbloods, but half-breeds. Who do you know that's a half-breed?"

"Did I really say that?" Sirius asked, laughing to himself. "My mistake." He turned and smiled at her. "I guess I was just getting wrapped up in the moment."

Jaclyn smiled back at Sirius and nodded. "Just curious."

"No problem," Sirius replied. "Good night."

* * *

When James woke up, it was almost like preparing to run a marathon. First, he would stretch, usually loudly yawning at the same time. Then, he would lay back and close his eyes, quickly going over his itinerary for the rest of the day, making sure he didn't have to rush to do something. After that, he would stretch again, finally glancing at the clock to see what time it was - 9:25 AM, as it was this morning. As of recent, though, he would roll over and put an arm around Lily, whom he would have offered the bed to herself before turning in the night before, but she would always feel guilty and tell him to share half of the queen-sized bed. This morning, however, James noticed Lily wasn't there. 

"Lily?" he jerked upright, glancing around the room to see her sitting in an armchair in the corner, staring out the window as snowflakes fluttered to the ground.

Lily turned to look at him with her emerald eyes and smiled sadly. James instantly noticed that there were tears in those eyes and jumped to his feet, stumbling to his knees next to her. "What's wrong? Did something happen? You could've woken me."

Lily kept smiling at his concern and said, "No, nothing like that. Everything is fine."

"Lily, I know everything is not fine," James replied, cupping her chin in his hands as he kneeled in front of her. "Please tell me."

"It's just," Lily sniffled and whipped her eyes dry, "I've been thinking about my mum and dad, you know?"

"Oh," James sighed empathetically, his heart nearly breaking in two. "I see."

"You know what we would do for the holidays?" James shook his head. "We'd always open gifts Christmas Eve, which I always found daft, but it was an Evans tradition, apparently. Christmas day we'd go caroling, my mum, dad, Petunia, and I - it was the only time my sister and I seemed to be able to get along. She has a lovely alto voice and our voices blend well. Anyways, Christmas night we'd usually go to my grandmum's - my mum's mum, I mean. We'd spend a few days there and then Jamie would always come visit for a few days. It was the same every year.

"It just makes me really sad that it's never going to be the same, you know what I mean?" Lily asked James, tears really beginning to flow now. "And on top of it all, I never really got to say goodbye. I guess Petunia blames me for her lacking relationship with my mum and dad and she took the only thing she could away from me."

"Oh, Lily," James replied, reaching up and gathering her in his arms. "They know that you miss them and love them. Just because your wretched sister hoped to make you miserable this one time around doesn't make it any less true."

"The morning we left for the Hogwarts Express, my mum and I had a row," Lily swallowed hard, speaking into James's neck. "I said some terrible things, James. We'd have written and all before they died, but…what if she didn't know I was really sorry?"

"She knows," James said simply. "I promise you."

The sat like that for a few moments, Lily crying quietly and James soothing her by rubbing her back. When she finally straightened up, she rubbed her eyes one more time before forcing him a smile. "I'm sorry. I suppose this seems a tad daft."

"Not at all," James replied earnestly. "I don't know what I'd do if either my mum or dad died. In fact, I was worried because you hadn't mentioned it since you found out."

"I didn't want to burden anyone, least of all you," Lily explained.

"Now that's what seems daft," James scolded gently. "Lily, I want you to come to me if you are hurting or having some sort of problem."

"Oh, James," Lily smiled, putting a hand on his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," James replied, taking her hand and kissing it softly. "Lily, I've never told anyone this, but, I love you."

Lily's eyes opened wide, shocked for a moment, before she smiled and wrapped her fingers around his. "I love you, too, James Potter."

"I couldn't be happier to hear that, Lily Evans," James grinned, jumping to his feet and pulling her up with him. "Now, do you still want to see my parents today?"

"Of course," Lily answered, nodding her head.

"I'm warning you - they're a right bunch of kooks," James added seriously.

"They'd have to be if they have someone like you for a son," Lily joked, wrapping her arms around him.

"Well, then they'll just love you," James countered, kissing the top of her head. "Have you heard from Lauren and Peter?"

"Yes, she sent me an owl just yesterday," Lily answered. "I told you that already."

"Remind me," James grinned, pulling away and going to his trunk to get dressed.

"They're having a lovely time, blah blah blah," Lily said, going to her own trunk. "They'll be back in London tomorrow, but won't be here until the day after for New Years Eve. They're staying here the remainder of the holiday and then going back to Hogwarts with us and all that."

"That's good to hear," James replied. "It's not the same without Wormtail here to take the heat for my devilish pranks."

"Like we don't already know that you're the culprit for them all?" Lily asked him with a twinkle in her eye.

When she turned her back, James tackled her, causing her to shriek, and then giggle when they landed on the bed. "You better watch your back, Miss Evans," James grinned, lowering his face to her own.

"What do you think you're going to do, Mr. Potter?" Lily challenged.

"Well, I could think of a few things," James grinned, pressing his lips against her own. Then, pulling away, he said seriously, "When I said I love you, I was serious. Lily, I really do love you."

"And I really do love you, James," Lily brought a hand to his face, resting it softly on his cheek. "I wouldn't say it unless I really mean it."

"I'm glad," James replied as she lowered his face to kiss him again.

* * *

"Remus, love," Jamie said after waking up, and then realized that she was alone in bed. She looked across the room, saw that it was nearly 5 o'clock in the evening, and jetted upright. The night before she had been feeling rather ill, as she had accidentally drank tea that James had meant to go to Sirius. On top of that, she and Remus had been up late discussing wedding related topics, among other things, but she was surprised that he hadn't woken her earlier. She was even more surprised that if he hadn't, James or Sirius hadn't seen fit to wake her at the earliest possible moment. 

Jamie got out of the bed, slipped her slippers on her feet, and wrapped her robe around her. She left the room, surprised at how quiet the flat was. Suddenly, she heard the tinkling of a piano, leading her to believe that Remus was in the library.

When she reached the entrance, she saw that Remus was seated at Sirius's old, upright piano that had apparently come with the flat, or so he claimed. It was in need of tuning, but Remus was playing softly from memory, Jamie surmised, as there was no music in front of him. She watched from the doorway for a few moments, listening as he played "And So It Goes," one of his favorite songs, with more emotion and expression than she had ever seen him use.

When he lifted his fingers off the keys at the end of the last chord, Jamie clapped quietly, causing him to jump and spin around to face her. "Well played, Mr. Lupin."

Remus smiled shyly then said, "I kept playing one of the chords wrong - I wish I had the music here. I haven't played in such a long time."

"It was still beautiful," Jamie insisted, walking towards him. "Where is everyone?"

"Lily and James went to see his parents and Jaclyn and Sirius went to Diagon Alley," Remus reminded her.

"Oh, that's right; I'd forgotten that was today," Jamie remembered, nodding.

"James and Lily left around 10 o'clock, Sirius and Jaclyn around noon," Remus continued, turning around and placing his fingers on the keyboard again. "They'd offered to wait until you got up, but I figured you'd rather hang low today."

"You know me well," Jamie replied, putting her hands on his shoulders as he began to play once more. "Play for me."

"I only know that one song by heart and Sirius only has an elementary book of Christmas carols," Remus apologized, but playing the slow opening chords to "And So It Goes" nonetheless.

"You play it well," Jamie complimented.

"This is our song, you know," Remus told her.

"I know," Jamie answered. "Although I still don't understand why - it's such a sad song."

"Think about it, Jamie," Remus explained, still playing. "Two years ago, when you came to me completely broken hearted from Sirius, we didn't know each other terribly well. However, we were both hurting - you from a bad break up and me from a curse I can't do anything about.

"The song talks about finding a person that fills that empty part in your heart that opens when you're hurting," Remus continued, leaning back and forth, as he pressed down the keys to each chord. "We'd both been hurt so many times and finally, at least for myself, I had found someone that filled that hole. I gave my heart to you what feels like ages ago and, as the song goes, you can have it to break it if that's how it ends. All that matters is that you realize that you have that power and know I love you."

He lifted his hands and placed them in his lap, the final chord resonating around the small room. "At least that's how I see it."

Remus looked up to see Jamie smiling. "That's how I see it, too, love."

"I'm glad," Remus replied, pulling her arms around to his chest, bringing her head to his own. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better," Jamie sighed. "My cousin will pay, but that will be a revenge I'll figure out later."

"Of course," Remus replied, spinning in the piano bench to face her. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Jamie kissed him on the cheek.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of the front door opening and there was a bustle coming from the sitting room. "Jamie! Jamie, you better be awake - I bought myself a present!" came Jaclyn's voice.

Jamie smiled at Remus and pulled him to his feet, leading him to the sitting room where Sirius and Jaclyn were coming into the flat, both covered in snow from the day of flurries. In one of Jaclyn's hands was a large cage, containing a small tawny owl, obviously very young.

"Isn't she the cutest thing?" Jaclyn asked, obviously very excited. "Her name is Randi, I've decided."

"It's a dumb name if you ask me," Sirius put in, kicking off his shoes and trailing snow into the sitting room from where it had collected on his cloak.

"No one asked you," Jaclyn said defensively.

"She's so adorable!" Jamie exclaimed, looking into the cage.

"Isn't she, though?" Jaclyn grinned. "Come on - let's put her by Sirius's owl."

"She better not make Spot angry!" Sirius shouted after the two of them, leaving Remus standing alone, watching his best friend brush the snow off his clothes. "What are you tutting at me for?"

"I didn't tut," Remus replied, crossing his arms.

"You were going to," Sirius insisted, shaking off his cloak.

"You're getting snow everywhere," Remus pointed out.

"It's my flat."

"Why are you in such a foul mood, Mr. Black?" Remus asked, not moving from his spot.

"That bloody woman," Sirius sputtered. "Dragging me all over Diagon Alley - making me go from shop to shop as though I didn't have any reason to be there."

"Did you?"

"No - but that's beside the point," Sirius ripped his cloak off. "Stop tutting!"

"Oh, Sirius," Remus said simply. "Why don't you ever own up to your feelings?"

"I'm a man," Sirius replied, pushing Remus out of the way so he could hang his cloak up in the closet. "I don't have feelings. Now, stop your psychoanalyzing and help me make dinner."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I am well aware that "And So It Goes" didn't come out until nearly ten years after this story takes place, but it was used for a reason - A of all, because it fit and B of all, for personal reasons that I associate with this chapter. Anyways, if you haven't heard the song, you're certainly missing out and should listen to it soon. :)_

_Shorter chapter, filled with lots of sad stuff, but I thought it needed to be done. It also kind of tided over the Christmas holiday well._

_Oh, another thing, I'm sort of illustrating this story over on my Deviant Art account. Check it out sometime: http/aalina. _

_Thanks for reading!_


	13. The Truth

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "The Truth" is by Good Charlotte and I don't own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirteen: The Truth**

_You found a million ways to let me down  
So I'm not hurt when you're not around_

"Why do we have to be here for this?" James complained loudly for the third or fourth time since the group had arrived at Diagon Alley. "It's New Years Eve - all the shops are going to be closed."

"New Years Eve isn't the holiday, James," Lily explained for the third or fourth time since the group had arrived at Diagon Alley, beginning to show a bit of annoyance. "Shops are always open on New Years Eve."

"Look, you lot don't have to be here for this," Jamie stopped, turning to face her group of friends. The entire group had abandoned Sirius's flat - Lauren and Peter included, who had arrived just hours before, very tan from their Mediterranean cruise - but that didn't mean any of the complaining had stopped. "We're just looking at the different shops for dress ideas."

"Sounds good to me," Sirius said. "I need to get a new set of quills since someone saw fit to use every last one to shoot at Slytherins before the holiday."

"I'll come with you," Jaclyn replied, both of them hurrying away.

"I hear my name being called from Quality Quidditch Supplies," James grinned, Lauren and Peter on his heel.

"Remus, you can go with them if you want," Jamie offered.

"No, it's okay," Remus replied, looking back at their friends as they rushed away. "I'd rather be with you."

"Oh, you two make me puke," Lily put in, feigning puking as she made retching noises.

"Lily, that is absolutely disgusting," Jamie said, pushing her best friend and maid-of-honor lightly. "Is there a reason you see fit to ruining the moment every time one presents itself?"

"Yes," Lily replied, leading the couple into a shop called Andy's Dress Boutique. "Andy? Wouldn't that make you think of a man? Do you really want to buy a dress from a store owned by a man?"

"I'm going to ignore that completely sexist remark," Jamie pushed Lily in through the door. "My mum bought this lovely gown here for some gala thing she and my dad went to last year. It's a good place to start at least."

The three of them entered the store, Remus hanging back slightly as they looked around. Along the walls were rows of dresses in every size, color, and style imaginable - one side of the store reserved for evening gowns, the other for wedding and bridesmaid dresses. Near the back there was a small stand with different catalogues and above it there was a case with different types of jewelry. There was even a small stand with different styles of dye-able shows were being showcased.

"Oh, wow," Lily sighed, taking over as role of maid-of-honor quickly as she began to browse the gowns, making her way through the sea of white. "These are beautiful dresses, Jamie."

"Thank you," came a voice from behind them, making them jump almost melodramatically. "I got in a whole shipment of bridal gowns for this year a week early, so I figured I'd put them out." She smiled at the three of them. "Oh, I'm Andy, by the way."

"Oh, Andy as in a girl," Lily observed, causing the store owner to shoot her a strange look.

"Please excuse her," Jamie said, hurrying forward to shake the woman's hand. "She was dropped on her head as a small child."

The young store owner let out a laugh that seemed all too familiar to Jamie. She had long black hair that was piled up on her head with what looked like her wand. She was wearing blue robes that picked up her bright blue eyes. "Weren't we all, though? Now, what exactly are we looking for?"

"We're getting married," Jamie answered, the notion still sounding so strange coming from her mouth. She reached out to touch Remus's hand, who was looking around the shop.

"Oh, my, well, congratulations!" Andy grinned, showing more excitement than Lily had when Jamie had told her. "That's very exciting - but, you look so young. Might I ask how old you are?"

"I turned eighteen this past November," Jamie continued, then motioned to Remus. "Remus turns eighteen in March, though."

"How sweet," Andy smiled. "My husband and I are Hogwarts sweethearts as well. Now - wait, did you say Remus? As in Remus Lupin?"

This seemed to knock Remus out of his trance, because he looked at Andy in confusion. "That'd be me. Why do you ask - wait, Andy - Andy Black?"

"Of course!" Andy snapped her fingers, causing blue sparks to erupt from atop her head. "You're little Sirius's friend!"

"You know Sirius?" Lily asked, pulling out an extravagant gown and giving it an appraising look.

"Of course, he's my cousin - only one of my cousins I could stand, really," Andy nodded. "I finished Hogwarts when you three must have been first years. I'm Andromeda Black, well, Tonks now."

"I didn't know you moved your shop out to Diagon Alley," Remus nodded, crossing his arms. "Weren't you in Muggle England for a bit?"

"I missed being around wizards all the time," Andy admitted, then lowered her voice. "Just don't tell Ted that - he's Muggle-born and all."

"Mummy!" came a shout from the back of the shop, followed by stomping footsteps. A tall girl who couldn't have been more than five or six-years-old burst through the door that lead to the house portion of the building. She had very long, dark red hair that curled into perfect ringlets that bounced as she ran out. "Look!"

"Nymphadora, I'm with customers right now," Andy dropped to a knee, taking the paper that the young girl was waving at her mother. "This is just lovely, dear, but could you go back to the house please?"

"Okay," Nymphadora, as her mother had called her, agreed dejectedly, walking slowly and obviously sadly to the back of the house.

"She's adorable," Lily commented, fingering her own hair with a twinge envy evident on her face. "Her hair is gorgeous."

"In five minutes it will be a completely different color and style," Andy sighed. When the three teenagers gave her an odd look, she laughed and said, "Oh, she's a Metamorphmagus. She hasn't completely learned to control it yet, so different things change about her at random. Quite a shock when her father and I first discovered it."

"That's fascinating," Remus noted, watching as the little girl disappeared behind the door.

"For you, perhaps," Andy sighed. "It can be quite frustrating when she does it in public and I think I lost my daughter. Now, anyways, dresses." She shook herself once and smiled at them. "Any friend of Sirius's is a friend of mine, so I'm sure we can work out some sort of deal."

"Wonderful," Jamie breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't mentioned it to Remus, but she wasn't entirely sure how they were going to be able to pay for any of the wedding, since she half-suspected that her mum and dad were still expecting her to write them calling it all off. "We're on a bit of a budget."

Andy waved her hand dismissively. "No need to worry. I'm sure we can come to some sort of deal, so long as I'm invited to the wedding - I just love weddings."

"Well, we do need a flower girl," Remus pointed out, glancing back to where Nymphadora had been standing just moments before. "You know, if that would be all right."

"Oh, Nymphadora would be just delighted," Andy grinned. "Now, over here there's a lovely one that I think would look just stunning on you, dear."

* * *

"You saw Andy?" 

The group of friends had met back up, Sirius and Jaclyn sharing a bowl of fried ice cream from Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor. Jamie, Remus, and Lily had been retelling the story of their dress shopping extravaganza.

"You know, she always was my favorite cousin," Sirius admitted.

"She said the same about you, actually," Remus noted, stealing Sirius's spoon and taking a large helping of ice cream.

"I think what she said was that she could stand him," Lily corrected Remus.

"You know, there's a big difference between favorite and stand," Lauren put in. "For instance, I can stand stubbing my toe. However, it is most definitely not my favorite pastime."

"She's giving us a deal on dresses," Jamie returned to telling the story. "In exchange, her daughter is our flower girl."

"Oh, that's right, Nymphadora," Sirius nodded. "Andy always had this obsession with crazy names."

"Since Sirius is so run-of-the-mill," Peter muttered.

"It's a family name!" Sirius replied defensively. "My granddad's name - "

"It's also the opposite of joking," Jaclyn herself joked, then jumped out of the way as Sirius's arm swung through the air at her.

"Jaclyn?"

The entire group skidded to a halt, Jaclyn most of all, to see Gideon and Fabian Prewett with their older sister, Molly. Jaclyn swallowed hard, then smiled shyly. "Hi, Gideon."

"How are you holidays going?" Gideon asked, beckoning her forward.

"Pretty good," Jaclyn nodded, putting her arms behind her back. She looked back at her friends and said, "I'll catch up with you guys in a bit - go ahead without me."

The friends exchanged glances, but moved along so she could catch up with Gideon. Sirius tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, but found it quite hard to do, especially with their shared ice cream still in his hand.

"Moony, do you want to finish this?" Sirius offered, then shoved it into Remus's hand before he could answer.

"You know," Jamie said, looking in her coin purse and counting with her fingers, "I think I have enough Christmas money leftover to buy myself a pet. I've always wanted something furry to call my own."

"Isn't that what Moo - oof!" James began, but then was cut off when Remus elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Right, I'll come look with you."

James and Jamie walked into the Animal Menagerie, leaving the others gazing through storefronts. Before either of them could properly look at any of the animals, the store clerk swooped down on them.

"Welcome to the Animal Menagerie," she began, all smiles. "Is there anything I can help you find? Could I interest you in one of our fine owls - we have quite an assortment, you know."

"Uh…," Jamie hesitated, taken off guard.

"We'll let you know if we have a question," James rescued her, taking her arm and pulling her away from the clerk. He knew full well that she couldn't say no to store personnel and she would buy just about anything the clerk offered, even if she didn't have the money.

"Thanks," Jamie sighed, leading James over to a row of cages, each filled with different animals from snakes to cats to toads.

"Any idea what you're looking for?" James asked, peering through the cages.

"I'll know when I see it," Jamie said, putting a finger through a cage with kittens in it, one of them nipping lightly on it. "I never asked - how did your visit to your mum and dad's go?"

"As well as can be expected," James replied, tapping lightly on the glass of a tank that held different sized turtles.

"Meaning what?"

"Well, you know how things are with my dad now. He isn't doing very well and I can tell it's weighing down on my mum, but she won't admit it," James explained, following Jamie through the store.

Jamie gave him a sympathetic look. Her dad was the youngest of the Williams children while James's mum was the eldest by nearly fifteen years and his dad was a few years older. James had been born very late in his parents' lives, which was one of the reasons he was as spoiled as he was - although he would never admit it. "I'm sorry, James."

"Yes, well," James shrugged, although a pained expression sat on his face. "I'm sure he'll be fine. When Lily was helping my mum make dinner, my dad told me that St. Mungo's told him he could stop taking that potion. That's good, right?" The look on his face showed that he was only saying those words for his own sake - to reassure himself.

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Jamie said slowly, thinking of how off-color her Uncle Harry had seemed at Christmas.

James reached into a cage and pulled out a particularly playful calico kitten, obviously trying to take his mind off of his dad. "This one is fun."

"Oh, look at you," Jamie smiled, wiggling her fingers above the kitten, causing her to bat at them. When Jamie stopped, the kitten looked at her hands expectantly, then leaped from James to Jamie, landing squarely in her arms.

"I like that one," James nodded approvingly.

"I do, too," Jamie agreed, then looked at James, who was staring out the window of the shop. Jamie followed his gaze to Sirius, who was glancing over his shoulder every few moments while trying to engage in conversation with Remus.

"I wish he'd just get over himself," James sighed, shaking his head.

"As long as he doesn't end up hurting her," Jamie cocked an eyebrow, stroking the kitten, who was burying her face into Jamie's gold and scarlet scarf.

"He needs to get over you before he can get into a relationship that will end without him hurting the other party," James pointed out. "Did you hear what happened with Eleanor?"

"Vaguely," Jamie replied, "but his tragic love life is not my fault."

James sighed heavily and nodded. "I wish he'd realize that he's only going to end up hurting himself and just shape up. Honestly, if you knew Sirius the way I do, you'd realize that he isn't the Hogwarts lady killer that he lets everyone think he is."

Jamie opened her mouth to comment, but the store clerk came out of nowhere and said, "Do you like that little girl? Can I interest you in this specialty feed for her? Or how about this nice collar?"

* * *

"Padfoot, are you even listening to me?" Remus asked, leaning to see what Sirius kept sneaking glances at to see Jaclyn laughing at something Gideon was saying. "Oh." 

"What?" Sirius asked, whipping around and trying to look nonchalant at Remus. "What are you oh-ing about?"

"Nothing," Remus shrugged. "I don't get you, Sirius. You go out with all of these girls that you obviously are only using for a little action but when you sincerely like a girl, you keep her at arms length. It doesn't make sense to me."

"I'm trying this new thing where I don't interfere in other people's relationships," Sirius replied sharply.

"Oh, I see," Remus rolled his eyes. "That makes complete sense. I mean, why would you draw the line at trying to break up one of your best friends' engagement when you could draw it at not snatching up a girl that isn't even in a relationship yet."

"Sarcasm does not look good on you, Moony," Sirius countered, glancing back at Jaclyn, who was saying something to Gideon and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No, really - I'm completely serious, Padfoot," Remus shook his head. "Honestly, I think you should write a book because you're obviously really good at this sort of thing."

"Seriously, Moony," Sirius replied, trying to ignore his friend. "It does nothing for your complexion."

Before Remus could come up with a retort, Jamie and James came out of the Menagerie, a small animal crate in Jamie's arms and a bag of supplies in James's hand. Lauren and Lily rushed forward and began cooing over the kitten in the crate.

"Come on, guys," Sirius interrupted them anxiously. "I want to get back to my flat and properly celebrate the coming of 1978."

"And how's that?" Peter asked although he obviously knew.

"With a lot of champagne and a hangover," Sirius grinned.

As he said that, Jaclyn walked up to the group. "Ready to go?"

"Finished chatting?" Sirius asked, a cheeky look on his face.

"Yeah," Jaclyn replied, giving him a questioning look before smiling at Jamie. "Is that a kitten?"

With time, Sirius forced his friends out of Diagon Alley and eventually into the Leaky Cauldron. Once there, he exclaimed, "Oh, hell, I forgot my bag with quills. I'll be right back."

His friends agreed to wait for him and Sirius hurried back through the opening in the back wall and rushed to where his bag was still sitting outside the Animal Menagerie. It had began to snow, making the cobblestone more slippery than usual. He noticed that Gideon and Fabian were standing near where his bag was, but Molly was nowhere to be seen. Sirius swallowed hard and picked up his bag, shaking off the snow and checking to make sure that all of his purchases were still there.

"Really - Jaclyn Carter?" Fabian was saying.

"Yeah, she's a catch, wouldn't you say so?" Gideon responded, his voice full of pride.

"Do you think - "

"Oh, hell yes," Gideon cut his twin off. Sirius glanced over at where they were standing and Gideon's face was lit up with arrogance. "I'm betting that I'll have shagged her by Valentine's Day."

"No kidding?" Fabian asked, his voice full of awe. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so - " Gideon started, but was cut off by Sirius's fist colliding with his jaw, knocking him off his feet and into a snow bank. Sirius stood over him, his quills still in his hand.

"What the hell, Black?" Fabian demanded as Gideon touched his jaw gingerly.

"You don't talk about girls that way," Sirius said, breathing hard and pointing at Gideon.

"Don't be too heartbroken when I don't take your advice to heart," Gideon spat, getting to his feet. "Not if it's coming from you, Black. Just how many girls have you slept with in the past few years?"

"Four," Sirius countered. "Yes, I was dating all of them and no, I didn't brag about it to my friends."

"I'll believe that when I see it," Fabian rolled his eyes.

"Are you jealous?" Gideon asked, his eyes gleaming. "Did you want to get your hands on Jaclyn before me? Is this what this is all about?"

"That's it - "

"Sirius, no!" James shouted, skidding to a halt behind Sirius and grabbing him by the back of his brown robes. "He isn't worth it, mate."

"Oh, come on, Potter, let him go," Gideon taunted, his eyes flashing. "I'd like to see him try."

"Gideon - Sirius," Jaclyn's voice called. She ran up to the group, Jamie and Remus on her heels. "What is going on here?"

"Nothing, Jac," Gideon replied, his voice and demeanor changing completely. "We were just talking."

"Then why is James holding a struggling Sirius?" Jamie asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Let me go, Prongs," Sirius muttered, pushing James off of him.

"Look, I don't know what's going on," Jaclyn stated, "but I think we need to leave before it gets any worse. We'll see you at school, you two."

"Sure thing," Gideon replied as they turned, then added, under his breath, "Don't feel too bad, Black."

"Oh, no way!" Sirius shouted, dropping his bag and whipping around before James could stop him. But, this time Gideon was ready - he came at Sirius, tackling him hard in the stomach, causing them both to land on the ground.

"Stop it!" Jaclyn cried, not knowing what to do. Jamie grabbed her arm, holding her back as a crowd began to gather around the brawling teens.

"Sirius, get off of him!" James yelled, grabbing Sirius by the waist, who kept struggling to break free from James's grip. Remus, meanwhile, was holding Gideon by the arm while his brother sat back and watched, clearly amused by the entire situation.

After what seemed like hours but was really no more than a few seconds, Sirius allowed James to pull him to his feet and shook himself off. He picked up his bag and gave Gideon one more warning look, who was still being held back by Remus. He then turned to Jaclyn, who looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Do what you want with him," Sirius said to her in an almost angry tone, "but he's a jerk and only sees you as bragging rights."

"Like you don't want her for the same reasons!" Gideon shouted at his retreating back.

"No, I don't!" Sirius roared, spinning to face him. "I actually care about her!"

Diagon Alley was silent for a few moments, all eyes on Sirius or Gideon. Finally, James cleared his throat and murmured, "Come on, mate. Let's get home."

"Jaclyn, wait!" Gideon called after them. Jaclyn only shot him a look over her shoulder and shook her head.

"I thought you were different," she said simply, then hurried to catch up with her friends.

* * *

The short trip back to Sirius's flat was a silent one. Lily, Lauren, and Peter all knew that something big had happened while they were waiting in the Leaky Cauldron, but none of them were brave enough to inquire about the what had happened. 

Once they got to Sirius's flat, they quickly scattered throughout the house, leaving Jaclyn and Sirius alone in the sitting room.

"Sirius - " Jaclyn began, but he cut her off.

"Look, Jaclyn, I want to apologize for what happened," Sirius said as though he was reading from a script. He then gave her a very pointed look before saying, "I think I let my emotions take control of me."

Jaclyn opened her mouth to say something, but Sirius swiftly left the room before she could say anything.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I wasn't going to do this chapter at all..but I thought it had to be done. Let me know what you think and thanks so much for reading. :)_


	14. Hear You Me

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Hear You Me" is by Jimmy Eat World and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Fourteen: Hear You Me**

_So what would you think of me now?  
So lucky, so strong, so proud  
I never said thank you for that  
Now I'll never have a chance_

The rest of the holiday flew past, despite the constant cloud of tension that hung throughout the flat, even when Sirius and Jaclyn weren't in the same room. The fact that Jaclyn had set up camp in the library without telling anyone made everyone feel a little more than uncomfortable. If anyone tried to mention the ordeal to either of them, they would either deny it happening (Jaclyn) or outright leave the room (Sirius).

The group more than welcomed the beginning of the term, although they knew that with it would come their NEWT examinations, loads of essays, and the horde of Slytherins that needed half an excuse to give them trouble. However, with living in separate dormitories and only a handful of classes together, it made it much simpler for Sirius and Jaclyn to avoid each other, making it easier on everyone.

Easier, that is, until Jamie woke up one morning to Lauren shaking her. "Blimey - what time is it?"

She blinked hard, wiping the sleep that had accumulated in the few hours she had been sleeping out of her eyes. When her vision cleared, she saw that Lauren looked just as tired as Jamie felt.

"There's an owl for you," Lauren said simply, then fell back into her four-poster, the hangings flying shut after her.

Jamie looked at the window by her bed and, sure enough, a rather large, grey owl that she didn't recognize was tapping on the glass. She leaned forward, causing Cassie, her kitten, to slide off her chest, not waking up in the slightest. Jamie smiled at her and rubbed her belly before wrenching the near frozen window closed. A rush of cold air mixed with snow blew in with the owl, which landed on her bed with a quiet flop. Jamie took the envelope from its beak and it flew back out of the window.

"Close the window," one of her roommates mumbled in their sleep and Jamie obliged before climbing back into her cozy bed.

Jamie reached to her bedside table and took the candle that Lauren had left there just moments ago and ripped open the envelope at the same time. Bringing the candle and letter close to her face, she recognized James's sharp handwriting. She read the short letter and a gasp escaped her lips.

Before the letter could hit the ground, Jamie was halfway across the room, wrapping her quilt around her shoulders with the candle in one hand and Cassie bounding behind her. She nearly ran down the stairs that led to the common room and burst through the door to reveal a near empty room. Standing in the corner, looking out the window as the wind blew snow by was a male figure in an open bath robe and pajama pants, his arms crossed and stare serious. He wasn't even wearing his glasses, which showed how much of a hurry he had been in - not only to write her, but also to get out of his dormitory.

"James," Jamie near whispered, taking a few cautious steps toward him.

Hearing his cousin's voice, James turned and Jamie saw how watery his eyes looked, although it was obvious that he was trying to conceal the emotion behind them. He opened his mouth and said, "Jamie, I - "

Before he could say anything more, Jamie wrapped her arms around him, causing him to bury his head in her chest and shallow sobs escaped him near instantly. James nearly melted into her arms, while Jamie supported him and rubbed his back to comfort him, fighting back her own tears.

"It wasn't supposed to happen so soon," James managed between sharp breaths. "He seemed so fine when Lily and I went home."

Jamie shushed him quietly, bringing one of her hands to his hair that was so much like her own. "There was nothing you could do."

"I know," James croaked, straightening up and wiping his eyes with the palms of his hands. He looked at where his tears had turned her quilt dark. "It's just - I should've known and I should've stayed home for Christmas and - "

Jamie shushed James again, putting a finger to his lips. "Hindsight is 20/20, love." James allowed her to lead him to one of the sofas and sat himself down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know," James sighed, as Jamie spread her quilt out over their legs.

"When did you find out?" Jamie asked, reaching for her cousin's hand and holding it tight within her own. Normally they didn't engage like that, but Jamie figured that the situation allowed it.

"An hour or so ago," James said quietly. "My mum sent an owl from St. Mungo's as soon as he…" His voice trailed off and his eyes darted away from Jamie's. "That's the owl I sent up to you."

"Why'd you wake me up and not Sirius?" Jamie asked. It was a legitimate question, seeing as Sirius had thought of James's dad as his own father.

"Padfoot's got the emotional range of a peanut lately," James rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'd figured you'd be more gracious than him if I woke you at two in the morning."

"That's true," Jamie nodded, spreading her hands over her quilt and looking fondly down at it. It was a t-shirt quilt that her Aunt Janine had spent ages collecting different shirts and sewing them together in time for Jamie's sixteenth birthday. It was her favorite gift that she had ever received from someone, mainly because it really reflected her as a person.

"Remember this?" James asked, flattening out a square as though he was reading her mind. It was a piece of Jamie's yellow and orange jersey from a Quidditch mini-league their fathers had thought would be a good idea.

"How could I forget?" Jamie smiled, thinking back. "I was horrible."

"You weren't that bad," James chuckled, knowing full well the extent of Jamie's Quidditch talents. However, through the team, James discovered just how good he was as a Chaser.

"I wish I was better," Jamie indulged. "I've always wished I could play and not score for the other team or run into the Bludgers."

"Or fly," James joked. "Flying would be good, too."

"Hey!" Jamie replied indignantly. "I can fly just fine, thank you very much. I love to fly, but I just can't do the whole swooping Wronski Feint kind of thing."

"At least you know the terminology," James admitted. "Lily tries to talk about it and, honestly, she has no idea."

Jamie smiled, glad to see James's mind on something else. "In her own defense, she is Muggle-born."

"No excuse," James shook his head, an amused expression on his face.

Cassie jumped up onto James's lap, making a bed for herself in the quilt. James absentmindedly stroked her back, the amused look slowly leaving his face. Jamie brought her legs underneath her and held James's hand close to her heart, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"James, it's not your fault," Jamie said slowly, making sure he understood her. "Your dad wouldn't want you to dwell on it and think it was."

"I just keep thinking about all of the grief I've caused him the past few years," James admitted, suddenly blinking a lot.

"You know full well that your dad loved your Hogwarts stories," Jamie smiled, cocking her head. "It was his job as a father to pretend that you were upsetting him, but you know that he thought you were absolutely hilarious."

There was a hint of a smile on the edges of James's mouth as he looked away from Jamie and down at her kitten. "I guess," James agreed before he yawned widely. "Can I make an odd request of you?"

"Of course," Jamie agreed.

"I don't really want to go up to my dormitory," James admitted, looking quite sheepish. "Would you stay down here until I fall asleep at least? If you have classes early tomorrow - "

"Don't think of it," Jamie cut him off. "I'll stay down here."

The two then engaged in idle chitchat for almost a half an hour before Jamie realized that James's head resting on her shoulder and heavy breathing didn't mean he was listening intently to her story. She carefully shifted so that he was laying between her legs and resting his head on her stomach. She managed to throw the quilt over the both of them and made herself as comfortable as she could given the situation. Cassie repositioned herself on James's chest and then began to purr loudly.

_'__Oh, James,'_ Jamie thought to herself, one of her hands resting on her kitten. _'What am I going to do with you?'

* * *

_"Promise me you'll take care of James," Lily was saying to Jamie for the umpteenth time.

"Just so long as you take care of Remus," Jamie answered, scratching her head as she looked over her folded robes and handful of clothes. "D'you think this will be enough?"

"You're only going to be gone for three days," Jaclyn spoke up from her bed.

"I know," Jamie admitted. She then ran a hand through her hair and then sighed heavily. "God, I can't deal with this right now."

Lily ran to her best friend's side, putting an arm around her waist. Since the morning Lily went down to the common room and discovered her boyfriend, complete with tear-stained cheeks, sleeping on her best friend's stomach, who was near unconscious as well, she had taken over the part that James and Jamie had been playing when she found out about her own parents' deaths.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Lily asked in a lowered voice. It wasn't that she didn't want Jaclyn or Lauren to hear her as much as she felt protective of Jamie.

"I'll be fine, Lily," Jamie insisted in the same low voice, ever aware that Jaclyn and Lauren were both leaning forward, struggling to hear. "You need to stay and go to your classes. I'll have James and Sirius, not to mention that James will have Sirius and me. Please don't worry about us?"

Lily smiled as though she wasn't completely sure, but nodded her head nonetheless. "I'm an owl away."

"I know," Jamie smiled back, then waved her wand over her clothes so they floated neatly into her bag she was taking to London.

"I really hate you, Jamie," Lauren sighed, glancing over from her bed, her Divination text lying in her lap. "I wish I had half the talent at Charms as you do."

Jamie shrugged, flushing slightly. She really disliked when people brought up how well she was at Charms. As far as she was concerned, if you work hard enough to excel at something, you can do whatever you want.

"I suppose I'll be seeing you lot in a few days then," Jamie sighed resignedly, putting her bag over one shoulder and holding her cloak close to her body.

"I'll come down with you to see James off," Lily offered, following Jamie as she gave Jaclyn a quick departing hug and waved feebly to Lauren.

"Have fun," Jaclyn bade before a stricken look filled her face. Before she could take it back, Lauren replied reproachfully, "It's a funeral, not a vacation."

Jamie followed Lily numbly down the stairs to the common room, where they found Sirius and James sitting on a sofa with Remus and Peter, who were playing Exploding Snap, with their bags at their feet. When they saw the two girls waking toward them, James and Sirius got to their feet and picked up their things.

"Ready?" Sirius asked, rubbing the back of his neck in a seemingly nonchalant way.

Jamie nodded, then glanced to Remus, who set his cards down and jumped to his feet, ignoring as two of them exploded. As Lily wrapped her arms around James, Remus did the same to Jamie before kissing her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry I can't come," Remus apologized, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "But, well, you know."

"Well, that's definitely not your fault," Jamie forced a smile. There was a full moon two days into the time they'd be gone. "I'll come and see you as soon as I get back."

"Hopefully I'll be out already," Remus sighed, looking very worn and tired. "This isn't a good time with all of the essays and - "

"Prongs - Jamie, wrap it up," Sirius interjected, obviously annoyed that he didn't have anyone to say goodbye to, other than Peter, that is.

Remus smiled slightly at Jamie and hugged her once again. "Owl me when you get there."

"Of course," Jamie nodded. "Take care of Cassie."

"Consider it done," Remus agreed, glancing at the kitten, who was currently batting at the feather that Peter was dangling above her.

Jamie stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Remus hard on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Remus assured her before kissing her one more time.

James, Sirius, and Jamie nodded one more final goodbye to their friends before disappearing through the portrait hole. Lily, who looked near tears, turned to Remus and swallowed hard. "They'll be all right, right?"

"They're only going to London, Lily," Remus reminded her as he sat back down by Peter to finish their game. "I wouldn't fret too much."

"I know," Lily replied, a distracted look on her face. She shook her head as though trying to rid water from her ears, then recovered. "Well, I suppose I ought to go patrol and then finish my homework. Later, you two."

* * *

Jaclyn swallowed hard, holding her books close to her chest. She had spent hardly any time in the common room for nearly two weeks and while her reason for avoiding it was in London, she still felt out of place going down there. It was almost midnight, so she was sure there would only be house elves down there. When she timidly peeked her head around the corner of the doorway that stood between her and the common room, she was proved wrong. 

"He won't be back for two more days, you know," Remus spoke, glancing up from a book settled in his lap. "You don't have to hide."

Jaclyn felt herself flush automatically and walked into the room. With a quick glance around, she saw that they were alone. "I wasn't hiding."

Remus gave her a look over his glasses that told her he didn't believe a word she was saying before looking back down at his book. He jotted something down with his quill on his parchment that was balanced on the arm of his armchair before saying, "Whatever you say."

Jaclyn sat down at a table near Remus and set her things down around her. After a few moments of awkward silence that was only interrupted by Remus's quill scratching his parchment, Jaclyn finally asked, "What are you working on?"

"An essay for Care for Magical Creatures," Remus murmured as he scribbled something on his parchment. "It's not due for quite some time, but I figure I should get a head start on it, what with the time of the month on top of NEWTs and all."

Jaclyn shot Remus a look. "'Time of the month'? Do you have PMS?"

Remus chuckled and said, "Something like that. I'm feeling ill, you know."

"Oh," Jaclyn replied, turning to her Transfiguration text and notes. A moment passed before she ventured, "Uh, Remus, do you think I could ask you a question?"

"My birthday is March 10th, my favorite color is green, and I'm allergic to peanut butter," Remus replied, his gold eyes twinkling. "Does that cover it?"

"No, actually," Jaclyn smiled. He was silent, inviting her to ask. "Well, er, I don't really know if it's my place and all, but I was just curious as to, you know, where you always disappeared to?" she stammered, then blushed furiously, but not wanting to take the question back. "I've been wondering for quite some time and, well, with the rumors and all…"

Remus gave her a blank look before asking, "Do you really not know?"

Jaclyn opened and closed her mouth a few times before sputtering, "Am I supposed to?"

"Well, no," Remus admitted, glancing away from her to his textbook, and then closed it quietly. "I suppose I just thought Jamie or Lily would have told you."

"They didn't," Jaclyn said shortly.

"Don't be upset with them," Remus replied quickly, holding up a hand as though to physically stop her. "Lily figured it out on her own and I told Jamie, but I made them both promise not to say anything to anyone."

"Oh."

"Besides, I think you'll understand why I've kept my disappearances quiet," Remus ran a hand through his hair distractedly. "You know, if you still plan on talking to me."

"Of course - "

Remus put up a hand one more time, silencing her. "Just - let me tell you the story before you make promises.

"I'm pretty sure you know this, but I grew up with my mum and dad on the coast in Wales. My dad died when I was seven, so I don't really remember a terrible lot about him, other than that I am a 'spitting image of him,' as my mum tells me whenever she finds the chance.

"Anyways, I was in a bit of an, er, accident one night the December I was six. My dad had asked me to get some wood for the wood stove. We lived in the middle of a forest and there were rumors floating about werewolves in the area, so normally my parents would lock me up indoors at night, but my dad had been feeling ill and either didn't realize it was a full moon or…I don't know."

Jaclyn gasped and began to say something, but Remus interrupted her quite forcefully. "Please, before you say anything, let me finish." She clamped her mouth shut instantly.

"To make a long story short, I was bitten," Remus took off his glasses and began to clean the dust off them with the sleeve of his robe. "I don't remember it at all - only that I woke up in the closest wizarding hospital, which was miles away from where we lived. My mum was sobbing hysterically and I vaguely remember the Healer explaining everything to me. It's all quite foggy.

"At first my mum was strong with my dad at her side, but, as I mentioned, he died a year after I was bitten. After a few years, my mum and I got used to my transformations. I'd get locked up in our basement, which my mum secured with countless Charms to keep herself safe. I don't know how we managed to get through those years, but we did. Each month would break my mum a little bit more, but she tried so hard not to show it.

"Then, the summer I was eleven, I received my Hogwarts letter. However, mine didn't come by owl, as I'm sure yours did. Dumbledore himself delivered it, full of ideas for precautions and rules to make it possible for me to attend school. I - I owe Dumbledore a lot." Remus paused for a moment to regain his thoughts and Jaclyn jumped at the chance to speak.

"But that's asinine! No offense, but even for Dumbledore - bringing a werewolf onto school grounds?" Her eyes were wide as she tried to completely comprehend the idea. "Even for Dumbledore, that's very reckless!"

"As if I don't know that already, Jaclyn," Remus snapped, shutting her up immediately. "I trust you've heard of the Shrieking Shack?" She nodded numbly. "Then I'm sure you've heard how it's apparently haunted with particularly violent spirits. If the people in Hogsmeade paid any attention, they'd realize that the howls and screams the spirits cause only happen once a month

"I didn't really expect to stay at Hogwarts all seven years, let alone make friends and find myself a fiancée. Growing up away from civilization and only knowing my mother, I grew to have a very fatal flaw - I like being liked. So, when I became friends with James, Sirius, and Peter, I went to great lengths for them to not find out where I was going once a month. However, they figured it out eventually."

"And they stuck by your side?" Jaclyn asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Remus replied, not wanting to go into too much detail. "Obviously the four of are still friends - the infamous Marauders. I mean, the whole Marauder thing is more their boat. I was never so into their pranks and tricks. It was always my job to clean up their messes.

"But, to be frank, that's where I go every month," Remus finished. "Tomorrow is a full moon, as you may or may not know, so I'm trying to get a head start on some of my homework, since it always takes me a few days to get better."

He gave Jaclyn a sideways glance, who was looking at him in complete disbelief. Remus laughed quietly to himself and said, "More than you expected?"

Jaclyn jerked her gaze away from him and said, "No, I was just thinking back to a conversation Sirius and I had over the holidays. He had mentioned something about having a, pardon my quoting, half-breed for a friend, but he denied saying it afterwards."

"Yeah, well, they've known since our second year," Remus explained. "Lily figured it out soon after. She approached me about it and was more understanding than Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail, to be honest. I think a lot of it had to do with her being Muggle-born and not totally understanding, though. I told Jamie before summer holiday last year, but she'd had her suspicions for a long time and was unsure of how to bring it up to me."

Jaclyn remembered that Jamie had an uncle who was a werewolf. She remembered the horror stories of listening to her uncle transform in their basement. Most of the time, Jamie would Floo to her house, terrified of what could happen. The fact that she was able to get past Remus being a werewolf like that astounded Jaclyn. Although Jamie loved her uncle, he brought about her phobia of werewolves.

"Jamie - but - she's - "

"Afraid of werewolves?" Remus asked, smirking gravely as he read her mind. "I know. Why do you think I kept it from her for so long?"

"And she saw past that and…" she wasn't able to finish her sentence.

"It surprises me yet to this day," Remus admitted, shrugging. "It used to scare me that she'd change her mind and whatnot, but she's told me more than once that I'm daft for thinking that."

"Wow," Jaclyn said simply, shaking her head slightly as she took in all the information. She wasn't sure what she would do in her cousin's place, but she felt a bit embarrassed for being so afraid of Sirius the past few weeks and he was 100 human - as far as she knew.

After a few moments of silence, Remus brought Jaclyn out of her thoughts by saying, "I don't mean to be rude, though, but I need to get some rest. Tomorrow night is going to be worse than normal."

Jaclyn nodded, not looking him in the eye.

"Look, Jac," Remus said softly, causing her to look into his pleading eyes. "You're my friend and I would never do something to hurt you. I know that this is a lot to digest, but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."

"Of course," Jaclyn agreed, nodding again. "I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," Remus sighed, gathering his things. "I'll see you in the morning, then."

Remus left Jaclyn feeling quite alone and a bit squeamish, with only her floating thoughts to keep her company. While he had told her quite a story, her thoughts weren't on him - rather, they were on a tall, black haired young man who was many miles away from her.

_'What am I going to do?'

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took so long! I rewrote parts of it several times because I wanted it to come across right..and I'm hoping I got it right. And just a side note, "Hear You Me" has always reminded me of James. I used it in my one-shot "May Angels Lead You In" as well, which is about James.  
_

_This is a super sad chapter, but I really wanted to write it because it demonstrates just how close James and Jamie are. Seeing as they both were only children, I figure that their parents would have made sure to have them play together when they were growing up, molding them to be more than just cousins - more like brother and sister. Their relationship is much different than Jamie and Remus's, Lily and James's, and even Jamie and Jaclyn's and I wanted to make sure that that point was made..and I think I managed that._

_Also, I thought it was important for Remus's story to get out there and that Jaclyn should know. I felt as though it was the one thing that would really cure her of her infatuation with the werewolf, ending one giant problem._

_Anyways - far too long of an author's note. Thanks for reading and please review!_


	15. I'm Not That Girl

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "I'm Not That Girl" is from the musical "Wicked" and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Fifteen: I'm Not That Girl**

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in_

"Remus?" Jamie poked her head through the door of the room that he shared with the other Marauders. "Are you in here?"

"Yeah," Remus answered distractedly, sitting cross legged on his bed with a score of papers in front of him. "I'll be down in a moment."

"That's what you told James to tell me nearly an hour ago when he first went down to the field," Jamie complained, sitting on the edge of his bed. She surveyed the papers around him. "What is all this?"

"It's for my research," Remus answered, fervently looking through the papers for something in particular. "Damn."

"Remus, you've been up here for nearly a week with these bloody papers," Jamie interrupted in a manner that made him look up from them. She softened her tone and said, "You deserve a day off."

As though on cue, Jamie's kitten jumped onto Remus's bed, landing smack in the middle of his papers.

"Oh - no, no, no!" Remus exclaimed, swatting Cassie away so she jumped into Jamie's arms.

"Hey!" Jamie interjected, holding Cassie with a hurt expression on her face. "Look, you need to go outside. It's a beautiful February day and the Quidditch match starts in about a half hour. Lily, Jaclyn, and Peter already went down to save us a spot."

"But - "

"No buts, Remus John," Jamie interrupted sternly, dropping Cassie to the floor and gathering up Remus's papers before he could say anything. She put the papers on his bedside table and looked at him.

"Those were in a certain order," Remus replied dejectedly, looking longingly at them.

"I'll help you figure it out later," Jamie said, getting to her feet and extending a hand to help him off the bed. "Now, come on. You deserve a weekend off."

"Okay," Remus resigned, taking her hand and pulling her to the edge of the bed, putting his arms around her hips. "I'm sorry I've been a hermit."

"You better be," Jamie scolded. "I've been having to opt for James's company in the common room and, well, that sure doesn't have any hanky-panky."

"I'd hope not," Remus made a face at her, which made her laugh.

"That's a line I'd rather not cross," Jamie joked, running her fingers through his sandy brown hair.

"I'm relieved to hear that," Remus replied, then put on a face before saying, "I'm not going to lie to you - the lack of said hanky-panky sure has been wearing on me."

"Remus, when did you become so forward?" Jamie asked, vaguely remembering asking him this before. "There was a time that I had to fight you tooth and nail just for a kiss goodnight."

Remus's brow furrowed. "You know…I don't know. Would you rather I go back to how I was?" His eyes twinkled at her as she shook her head.

"No, I'm pretty okay with this," Jamie smiled, pushing him back onto the bed and kneeling over him. "There are worse things."

"Like what?" Remus asked, helping her pull her black robes off and letting them fall next to them on the bed.

"Well," Jamie thought, allowing her fingers to pull his striped sweater up over his head, revealing his thin upper body. "I could have no left arm."

Remus let out a laugh and said, "That's not even remotely related!"

Jamie straightened up, looking down at him. "What would you rather have - no left arm or a girlfriend who isn't afraid to voice her needs?"

Remus rolled his eyes and, as an answer, tugged on her own sweater to pull her down to him, kissing her hard on the lips. "What do you think?"

"Then they're not terribly unrelated at all," Jamie continued softly, pushing her kitten away once more as she allowed him to roll on top of her.

"Whatever you say," Remus replied, kissing her gently as she buried her fingers in his hair.

"That's what I thought," Jamie countered in the same soft voice.

* * *

Lily took a moment from furiously rubbing her upper arms to look at her watch. "Where the hell are they? The match is about to start?" 

"Where do you think they are?" Jaclyn asked, rolling her eyes.

"I don't blame them," Peter admitted. "It's freezing out here."

"Oh, buck up, Peter," Jaclyn replied, patting him once on the back. "You know Lauren would have your hide if you didn't come."

"This is a good point," Peter agreed. "Oh - look, they're coming onto the field!"

Sure enough, from where the Gryffindors were sitting, they had a clear view of the entrance that showed seven scarlet streaks zoom onto the field. On cue, Lily, Jaclyn, and Peter began to scream loudly, as well as the rest of the Gryffindor house that surrounded them. The Gryffindors were quickly followed by seven bright yellow streaks, causing the Hufflepuff supporters to cheer.

"We're here!" Jamie announced, shimmying by screaming Gryffindors as she tried to get to her friends. Remus was close behind her, looking wary at the group around them.

"About time," Jaclyn huffed, still clapping loudly.

"Did we miss anything?" Remus asked, settling in next to Peter, who was on his feet shouting.

"No!" Lily shouted in answer. "They're about to start!"

Meanwhile, standing on the field, James glanced around at the rest of his team who was floating around him on their brooms as they awaited Madam Hooch to begin the game. His fellow Chasers, Christine Micheals and Lauren, were hovering just behind him, their Seeker, Derek Johnson, was to his right and the Beaters, Donald Smith and Sirius, to his left. On the far end of the field he could barely make out their Keeper, Gwenog Jones, flying back and forth in front of the three hoops. Sirius gave James a cocky grin as Madam Hooch came out with the balls. The teams dropped to the ground.

There was a hush throughout the entire crowd as Madam Hooch kicked the trunk open, two Bludgers flying through the air manically and a shimmer of gold fluttering for a moment before disappearing completely.

"Potter, Jones, shake hands," Madam Hooch instructed, the Quaffle in one hand and her broom in the other.

James stepped forward to shake sixth year Charlotte Jones's hand briskly. The Hufflepuff Captain gave him a flash of a smile before rejoining her team with her Beater club in one hand.

"Mount your brooms!" Madam Hooch announced, doing the same. "Ready? One…two…" She whistled hard and threw the Quaffle into the air.

"And they're off!" came the announcing styles of Jacob Fox, a Ravenclaw seventh year. "James Potter takes hold of the Quaffle, putting Gryffindor in position. His flying has definitely improved since last year, if it could have. He passes off to Lauren Scott who flies - oh - a valiant steal by Adrian Emery of Hufflepuff. She is new on the team this year and - Lord! She is hit by a Bludger that was, judging by the triumphant look on his face, hit by Sirius Black. He is new on the Gryffindor team also, but that can happen when your best friend is made Captain of the team."

The Gryffindors booed loudly at his commentating, causing the next several seconds of it to be unheard by the stadium.

"Why, that bloody idiot!" Jamie screeched, on her feet with most of the rest of the Gryffindors. "I swear, after that game, I'll - "

What Jamie was going to do, though, was drowned out by laughter throughout the entire stadium. It seems a well hit Bludger found itself flying into the commentator's podium. McGonagall was shouting at Sirius, who only shrugged as he sped by the podium. However, Hufflepuff took advantage of the distraction and sunk the Quaffle into one of the hoops, resulting in massive groans from the Gryffindor supporters and applause from the Hufflepuff supporters.

"Damn it," James swore under his breath before shouting, "Sirius - quite playing around!"

Luckily, Lauren took hold of the Quaffle, taking off and leaving the players far behind. With a glance back, she passed the red ball off to Christine.

"Christine Micheals takes the Quaffle," Jacob continued his commentary, obviously trying to act as though he hadn't nearly had his head taken off by a Bludger just moments before. "She passes cleanly to James Potter who sinks the Quaffle into one of the goals, bringing the score to a tied 10 - 10."

As the crowd began to cheer, Charlotte Jones called a time-out for the Hufflepuffs, bringing both teams down to the field for a short huddle.

"Look, we aren't far into the game, obviously," James started his mid-game pep talk. "But we need to get out there and win. Ravenclaw nearly clobbered us last game and they aren't far behind us for the Cup. Sirius - " he looked to his best friend sternly, who was gazing up at the stands but jumped when he heard his name, " - you need to quite clowning around. Fox is an idiot and we'll get him later.

"As for the rest of you, you're playing amazingly and I don't think I could have asked for a better team this year," James followed up.

"Oh, James, you're making us blush," Gwenog Jones joked, bringing a hand to her cheek.

"Just keep the Quaffle out of those goals," James replied simply, mounting his broom. "Derek, think you can catch the Snitch soon?"

"I'll try my best," the short black boy nodded, mounting his broom at the same time.

"And that whistle signals the end of the time-out," Jacob continued. "Benjamin Collins takes the Quaffle, putting Huffepuff in possession. He flies down the field and - oh - just barely dodges a Bludger hit by Donald Smith. Collins passes off to Susan Wilder who goes in for the goal and - wow! A spectacular save by fourth year Gryffindor Gwenog Jones. I'm telling you now, that girl will go pro. You don't have to be a Seer to see that!

"Jones passes to Lauren Scott and is nearly pummeled by a Bludger aimed by her own sister, Charlotte Jones. Do I detect a little sibling rivalry on the field today? Scott passes to James Potter, who speeds off down the field. Blimey - these Beaters are just ruthless today! Sirius Black deflects a Bludger off of Potter, who sinks the Quaffle in the goal, bringing the score to 20 - 10 in Gryffindor's favor."

"Look!" Jaclyn shouted, pointing over Jamie's shoulder at the shimmer of gold that was hovering just in front of the stands.

"And the Snitch has been spotted by the Gryffindor Seeker, Derek Johnson, who falls into a clean dive with Hufflepuff Seeker, Erica Livingston, close to his tail," Jacob announced excitedly, causing a hush to fall throughout the stadium.

The players all froze on the field, all of them watching the two Seekers battle it out for the Snitch. While the players were distracted, James took hold of the Quaffle, scoring one more time before the game ended.

"Come on, Derek!" Sirius cheered before being knocked clean off his broom by a Bludger.

"The score is now 30 - 10 in Gryffindor's favor and - oh, that had to hurt! Sirius Black is trying to get to his feet from the ground, leaving only one Beater for Gryffindor. Come on, Hufflepuff, pay attention! Lauren Scott scores for Gryffindor, bringing the score to 40 - 10.

"And the game is over! Derek Johnson catches the Snitch, making the final score 190 - 10. Gryffindor wins and is pushed even further ahead to winning the Quidditch Cup!"

James dropped to the ground, skidding to a halt to in front of Madam Pomfrey, who was trying valiantly to heal Sirius's broken arm, despite his cheering and screaming.

"Padfoot, are you all right?" James asked, but was only answered with continued shouts of joy by his best friend. "I'll take that as a yes."

Before James could say any more, his team sideswiped him, knocking him to the ground and causing Madam Pomfrey to scold them profusely. Above him, he could hear the Gryffindor fans chanting, "Go! Go! Gryffindor!" and his team was cheering happily around him. To make it even better, he could have sworn he saw a certain red-head grin down at him, clapping and cheering along with the rest of the crowd.

* * *

"It's fine!" Sirius insisted to his best friend, getting to his feet and glancing once down at his bandaged knee. "I don't know why she's making me keep those bloody bandages on it. It feels fine." 

"Well, don't take them off until she says you can," James read his mind, pushing Sirius's hands away from his knee.

"Whatever, Prongs," Sirius ended the conversation. "Come on - I'm sure there's quite a party going on up in the Gryffindor Tower. I think we should make an appearance."

James nodded in agreement and followed Sirius out of the Gryffindor locker room. Once out, he saw all of his friends, along with Lauren, who had changed early but waited for them nonetheless.

"Great game," Remus greeted them.

"Moony, you decided to come out of your cage!" James joked, clapping his friend once on the back. "How much persuasion did it take?"

"Let's just say I'll be doing twice as much Potions homework for the remainder of term," Jamie jested, warranting a friendly punch from Remus.

"Hey, hold up a moment!"

The group froze and saw Charlotte Jones running after them, her Quidditch robes traded for normal school ones and her yellow and black scarf wrapped around her neck. When she caught up to them, she turned to Sirius and said, "Could I have a word real quick?"

Sirius nodded to her then said, "I'll meet you guys up in the Tower."

Taking the hint, the seven teenagers continued across the snowy grounds to the school. Jaclyn shot Sirius a look that he either didn't see or chose to ignore as they hurried away from him.

"What can I do for you?" Sirius asked, putting his weight on the leg that he hadn't just broken.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right," Charlotte explained, playing with her hands in a sheepish way. "I really had thought you'd see that Bludger coming and I didn't mean for you to break your leg or anything."

"Oh, it's all right," Sirius gazed down at his leg, massaging it gently. "It'll probably never completely heal and I'll never be able to play again, but I'll live." He grinned to show he was joking.

Charlotte laughed good-naturedly and stuck her hand out to him. "Charlotte Jones, but you can call me Charlie. Only my mum calls me Charlotte and that's only because she thinks I'll get myself a sex change if too many people call me Charlie."

Sirius laughed and took her hand. "Sirius Black, but you can call me Your Highness."

Charlie rolled her eyes at this and said, "I'm pretty sure that won't be happening. Now, His Majesty, maybe."

"I suppose I could settle for that," Sirius nodded, a grin still on his face. After a moment of awkward silence, he proposed, "Would you like to go for a brisk February walk with me, Charlie?"

"I think I can do that," Charlie nodded, then added as an afterthought, "His Majesty."

"You know, if you keep calling me that," Sirius replied, leading her towards the lake, "I just might get used to it."

"Well, so long as you don't get a sex change or anything," Charlie joked.

After nearly forty-five minutes of chatting, the two of them started back toward the school, mainly only because the sun was starting to set.

"How is it I've never met you?" Sirius asked as they crossed the grounds.

"I'm a sixth year," Charlie shrugged. "Plus, isn't this year your first year on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? That's really the only way I meet people who aren't Hufflepuffs. I usually stick to my own House."

"That's no good," Sirius scolded, holding open the large door to the school for Charlie. "Not only do you sound pseudo-Slytherin, but you wouldn't meet amazing people such as myself."

"Well, Your Highness," Charlie retorted good-naturedly, "if I were you, I wouldn't go around calling innocent people such as myself Slytherins."

"I could've done worse - I could have called you a Hufflepuff," Sirius joked, then, before she could say anything, insisted, "I'm only kidding! Kidding!"

"You better be kidding," Charlie replied, pulling up the sleeve of her robes threateningly, then smiling at him. "I should be going. I have homework and you have a party to attend."

"Oh, that's right," Sirius replied, surprised that he had forgotten so easily. "Well, I'll suppose I'll see you around then?"

"You better believe it," Charlie replied, grinning widely at Sirius, nearly knocking him backwards.

_'Bloody hell,'_ Sirius thought to himself before bounding up the staircases that led to the Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

"Have you seen Sirius yet?" Jaclyn asked Jamie for the umpteenth time, tearing her cousin's face away from Remus's face once again. 

"No, Jaclyn, I haven't," Jamie replied, not bothering to mask the annoyance in her voice.

"Why are you so keen on finding him?" Remus asked, trying to make up for Jamie's lack of emotions.

"I just wanted to talk to him really quick," Jaclyn muttered so that they could hardly hear her over the celebrating Gryffindors.

"Hey, did you guys see Sirius come in by chance?" James asked, plopping down on the couch next to Jamie, a large mug of Butterbeer in one hand.

"See, I'm not the only one looking for him," Jaclyn said, crossing her arms and jutting her hip out in defiance.

"Where'd you get Butterbeer?" Jamie asked James.

"Where d'you think?" James shrugged, offering some to Jamie, who took the mug from him happily.

"You won't believe what I just heard some fifth years gossiping about," Lauren hurried up to the others, Peter and Lily on her tail.

When she didn't continue, Jamie sighed and said, "What did you just hear some fifth years gossiping about, Lauren?"

"Thank you for asking, Jamie," Lauren replied, grinning. "Apparently a certain Sirius Black was just out canoodling with the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain."

"Did you just say 'canoodling'?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Is that even a word?" Lily added.

"Yeah, it means to kiss and be all cutesy," Peter explained. Noticing the looks he was getting from his friends he flushed and muttered something about his mother's harlequin novels.

Before anyone could comment on the new side they just learned of Peter, Sirius came through the portrait hole, glancing around for his friends. When he spotted them, they pretended that they hadn't been talking about him.

"Oh, yes, that was an amazing joke, James," Lauren said loudly in a very ill-convincing tone as the rest of them badly fake-laughed.

"You were just talking about me," Sirius noted, but chose to not pursue it. "I just had an amazing walk."

"Did you canoodle?" Remus asked, a smirk on his face.

"What the hell is 'canoodling'?" Sirius asked, looking at his friend.

"Well, actually," Peter started, then flushed up again. "Nevermind."

"I was just walking with Charlie out by the lake," Sirius explained. "We had a great talk - it was amazing. I've never connected with someone like that before."

"Were you canoodling with Charlie?" Lily asked, crossing her arms.

"Since when have you been gay?" James asked, grinning at his best friend. "Did you run out of girls?"

"Shove off, Prongs," Sirius replied, taking a book off of the table next to them and throwing it at him. "Charlie is Charlotte Jones, the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain."

"So you were canoodling," Lauren commented.

"What is all this canoodling business?" Sirius asked, looking around at his friends in disbelief. "Hey - wasn't Jaclyn here just a second ago?"

"She said she had to - oh," Jamie started, then exchanged a significant look with Lily, who then looked over at the door to the girl's dormitory, where a blonde curly head just disappeared behind it.

* * *

_'Cut it out, Carter,'_ Jaclyn thought furiously to herself, wiping her eyes harshly as she slammed the door to her dormitory. _'It's not like you two were dating or anything.'_

She flopped down onto her bed and, not seconds later, Jamie's kitten jumped up onto the bed, meowing at Jaclyn, like the attention beggar she was. Jaclyn sighed, then stroked the cat to make it happy.

"She does know that Cassie is probably the lamest name ever, right?" Jaclyn told the cat, scratching her ears nonetheless. "Honestly."

Jaclyn looked down at the kitten, who made eye contact with her. "You know, I hope you never fall for an asshole cat, Cassie. Well, I suppose that's unfair. He isn't really an asshole - he just doesn't know what's right for him."

Cassie meowed once at her, then rubbed her head against Jaclyn's knee.

"Yes, I know that I'm right for him!" Jaclyn said heatedly at the kitten. "We're as right for each other as Jamie and Remus are. You know, a few weeks ago I would have never admitted that - that's something, right?

"Cassie, I don't know why I even bother," Jaclyn sighed, leaning back. "I'd might as well just sit back and enjoy the life and times of a bachelorette of the '70s. There could be worse things, I suppose. I could be some creepy old lady with a ton of cats." Jaclyn let out a laugh. "Could you imagine me with an insane amount of cats, talking to them and asking advice?"

Jaclyn's face fell as Cassie climbed onto her stomach, looking her in the eye and meowing once again. "As I talk to a cat about my nonexistent love life. Way to be, Carter."

Jaclyn groaned loudly and pushed Cassie off of her. _'What is my life becoming?'_

Deciding that if she was going to be a shut in for the rest of her life, she figured that she should do something constructive. She reached to her bedside table and took the top sheet of parchment off. It was her latest letter from "Orion." She sighed, wishing that she could meet him already. "Orion" understood her, no matter how messed up her letters may sound to her before she sends them. He lets her be honest with her feelings and is honest back. It was therapeutic to have someone like that to vent to. Jaclyn was excited to find out who "Orion" was (with her luck he was probably Remus or someone else she couldn't have), but she wasn't looking forward to losing the anonymous pseudo-therapist he'd become.

Jaclyn leaned back into her fluffy pillows, allowing her eyes to scan the parchment for what seemed like the hundredth time since she had received the letter.

_"Alayne,_

_"Do you ever feel as though you need to settle in order to be happy? Have you ever had something feel so far out of reach that it was almost better to just sit back and take what was within reach rather than work for the better thing? I've been feeling that an awful lot lately and I just don't know what to do anymore. It's frustrating, you know what I mean? I watch my friends have all sorts of great things fall into their laps and it kills me, knowing that it'll never be me._

_"Anyways, I'm sorry for the angsty letter, but I have a feeling you'll forgive me. I had to get this off my chest and you're the only one who takes me seriously when I talk about my feelings. Well, that and I know my friends will never let me hear the end of it._

_"I hope this letter finds you well, though. I can't wait until we can tell each other who we really are._

_"Until then, Orion"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oy..hanky-panky and canoodling - could I be any more of a goon? Probably. Anyways, please don't hate me or throw things at me! You'll all understand why I'm making Jaclyn and Sirius suffer so much in the end. That and, well, I'm a terrible person. Tee hee._

_I'm going to be hard core busy next week, so I won't be able to write. I'm trying to make up for it this week, in case you couldn't tell with the super quick update._

_But, I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading, and please review!_

_PS: Jessika - Charlie is just for you. :-) I just couldn't have another J name on top of Jamie, Jaclyn, James, Janine, Joel, and the countless others I'm sure I'm missing._


	16. Good Riddance

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" is by Green Day and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Sixteen: Good Riddance**

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

Life at Hogwarts progressed normally - well, as normal as a wizarding school could get. Between studying, homework, Quidditch practices, and detentions, the Marauders and Company allowed the days to pass without too much to write home about. Despite the ever rising amount of articles in the Daily Prophet announcing attacks by so-called Death Eaters, many of which including Muggle deaths, inside the walls of the school, the students seemed oblivious to the danger that the world around them really held.

"Wormtail, pass me the eggs, will you?" Sirius asked, holding his hand out to Peter with his nose buried in a Daily Prophet himself.

"Here you are," Peter replied, pushing the eggs toward Sirius after placing a few onto his own plate as well.

"Anything worth reading?" James asked Sirius, absentmindedly opening a letter from his mother.

"No surprises," Sirius sighed, folding the paper and placing it in front of his best friend. "The same load of rubbish. It's terrible knowing it'll only be worse once those lot finish school." He gestured toward the Slytherin table, where a group of seventh years were laughing and pointing at something written in the Daily Prophet.

"It makes me sick," Lily sighed heavily. "I don't know what's worse - knowing what's going on or thinking that I could have been one of those unaware Muggles."

"Knowledge is always better than ignorance," Sirius pointed out, buttering a piece of toast.

The group fell silent for a few moments and then was joined by Remus and Jamie, who were both quite taken aback by how solemn their friends were.

"Is everything all right?" Jamie asked, taking a seat next to Peter.

"We were just discussing how horrible life is," Lily explained, leaning toward James slightly to read over his shoulder. "Lord, they can show pictures of that sort of thing?"

"Apparently," James sighed, closing up the paper and handing it to Jamie, who was gesturing for it.

"Bloody hell, Moony!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed, causing the group and several people sitting around them to jump. "What is that on your face?"

Remus flushed red and brought his hand to his mouth, covering up the lower part. "What - nothing!"

"Moony, are you growing yourself some facial hair?" James asked, grinning widely.

"Oh, shut it," Remus reprimanded half-heartedly, dropping his hand to reveal what was, indeed, the beginnings of a beard and moustache. "At least I can grow some, Prongs."

"Well, we all know you're more than capable of growing hair on your body," Sirius said off-handedly. "I mean, once a - "

"Sirius!" Jamie and Lily stopped him at the same time.

"Yes, that's my name," Sirius nodded. He glanced at his watch and jumped. "Oh, I was supposed to meet Charlie before she went to Herbology ages ago. I'll see you guys later."

The others bid Sirius goodbye as he flipped his bag over his shoulder, nearly taking James's head off, and grabbed a piece of toast. Nearly the moment he left the Great Hall, Lauren and Jaclyn arrived, the latter being nearly dragged by the former. The girls had been taking turns waiting with Jaclyn until Sirius left the Great Hall for weeks now - no matter how hard they tried to convince her to come down earlier.

"Bloody hell, Jaclyn," Lauren complained, taking a seat next to Peter and shoveling food onto her plate quickly. "Now I have hardly any time before we have to go to Divination. At least you have a free period after this."

Jaclyn made a face to mock Lauren, which made Remus snort into his apple juice.

"Don't egg her on," Jamie pleaded absentmindedly, her face hidden behind the newspaper.

"I have a free period, too," Lily grinned slyly at Lauren, then ducking out of the way of projectile hash browns from Lauren.

"Jamie, we should leave for class soon," Remus said, joining her behind the newspaper.

"Kettleburn canceled class, remember?" Jamie replied, turning the page.

"Wait - both you and Lily had a free period?" Lauren interrupted, a look of disbelief planted on her face. "You are not my friends."

"Lauren, I'm your only friend," James sighed, tossing her an apple and getting to his feet. "And, as your only friend, I'll escort you."

"Wait for me!" Peter exclaimed, dropping his fork and getting to his feet.

However, before any of them could leave, a peck of owls swooped into the Great Hall, all of them near identical, rather large tawny owls. An owl landed in front of each of the friends, sticking their leg out expectantly. The group of friends hardly noticed that they weren't the only ones receiving letters from these owls - in fact, there were quite a few other seventh years in other Houses with the same bewildered looks upon their faces.

Before any of the friends could comment on how odd it was that they were all receiving a letter at the same time, the warning bell rang to signal for class.

"Bloody hell," Lauren swore, stowing her letter in her bag and jerking her head toward the entrance of the Great Hall. "We really need to get moving."

James and Peter nodded, looking down at their letters with curiosity as they followed Lauren out of the Hall. Once they were gone, Remus flipped his envelope over, where it plainly said:

"Do not open in public."

Remus put a hand on Jamie's forearm, as her thumb eased to make a tear in the paper. "Don't open it."

"What - " Remus turned her envelope over so that she could read the identical loopy letters on her own letter. "Oh."

Lily and Jaclyn, who were observing the two, glanced at their own envelopes and stashed them away in their bags. The Hall wasn't at its normal noise level, despite friends inquiring their other friends about their letters and murmurs by casual onlookers. After a few tense moments, Lily cleared her throat loudly.

"I think I'm going to go to the library to study." Lily hurriedly collected her things and waved half-heartedly to her friends over her shoulder.

"Me, too," Jaclyn added, taking off after Lily, but turning in the opposite direction of the library.

Remus and Jamie exchanged a look before getting to their feet to leave the Hall. As they walked out, they noticed Gideon and Fabian Prewett talking under their breath, a letter in each of their hands. Near them was Alice Stewart, the only one of her friends to receive one of the letters. Near the end of the Ravenclaw table, Jamie noticed Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes glancing up at the two of them, Marlene giving them a wary smile.

Once out of the Hall, Jamie asked, "Do you have any idea what these are about?"

"I've got an idea," Remus replied simply. "Let's go up to my room. I have a feeling we won't be alone."

Sure enough, as soon as the two of them reached the room Remus shared with his fellow Marauders, all of their friends were gathered on the beds and armchairs, talking animatedly with open letters in their hands.

"You can't be seriously thinking about doing this!" Lauren exclaimed as a welcome to Remus and Jamie.

"You can't be seriously not thinking about doing this!" Sirius countered, his tone causing Lauren to jump.

"It would be awful dangerous," Jaclyn sighed, shaking her head and scanning her eyes over the letter in her hand once again.

"What are you lot talking about?" Jamie asked, glancing at Remus, who was using his index finger to rip his envelope open.

"Read your letter," Lily said plainly, looking grim.

As she opened her own letter, Jamie leaned toward Remus in order to read over his shoulder and get a sneak peak.

"Dear Remus J. Lupin,

"We are pleased to inform you that you have been offered membership into the Order of the Phoenix. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has suggested your membership. As a current student, you would be unable to join in the Order's meetings and missions as of now, but will become a full member upon completion of school.

"The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society aimed to fight against the current rising threat of the Lord Voldemort and his followers; it has been founded by Albus Dumbledore. As attacks and other forms of violence continue to grow in number throughout not only Europe, but other continents as well, it is obvious that more members are necessary in the Order - members that can bring unique talents to the fight. Surely, you will understand that membership is not to be taken lightly, as the dangers of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters have only begun to rise these past few years.

"Please quickly send your response regarding membership into the Order to Albus Dumbledore. Do not mention this invitation to anyone - including friends and family members. We are in a time where trust is a near naïve notion.

"Thank you for your time and consideration."

Jamie's jaw dropped as she pulled her own letter out of the envelope and scanned it quickly, to find that it was identical to Remus's, besides her own name at the heading.

"Is - Is this some sort of joke?" Jamie asked slowly, unable to take her eyes off the loopy handwriting on the parchment.

"Somehow I doubt Dumbledore is sending out joke letters to half the seventh years," Sirius said bluntly, crossing his arms as he leaned against one of the posts to his bed.

"What are you thinking?" Jamie asked again, glancing around at her friends, unable to read the expressions on their faces.

"Decline, of course!" Lauren scoffed, tossing her letter onto Peter's bed in disbelief. "This is far too dangerous for a bunch of seventeen and eighteen-year-olds."

"I'm sure there are plenty of other people in the Order that aren't just now finishing school, Lauren," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Then they're as daft as you, Sirius," Lauren snapped venomously, her eyes narrow as she glared at him. "This isn't just another one of your pranks - this is life and death!"

"Some things are worth dying for!" Sirius replied angrily. "Don't you understand that?"

"That may be true, but I'd rather live than die!" Lauren shouted, rising to her feet.

"And you'd rather live a life knowing everything that is going on out there and not try to make it right again?" Sirius countered, causing James to jump to his feet from his bed, speaking for the first time.

"This is exactly what they want!" James shouted, his tone foreign to his friends. "Those - those Death Eaters! Don't you see that? They want us to argue and disagree and cause war amongst friends!

"Look, we're all different people - we have different goals, ideals, morals, whatever," James continued, lowering his voice, but the same edge still there. "We obviously aren't all going to make the same decision here."

"Well, I already know what I'm going to do," Sirius said with a sense of finality to his voice, striding past Lauren to pull a piece of parchment out of his bag. The others watched soundlessly as Sirius scratched a message to Dumbledore - a message that they all knew.

"Sirius," Lily started timidly, not wanting to upset him. "Are you sure you don't want to think about this a little more?"

"I'm already going to be an Auror," Sirius stated simply, not looking at his friends. "This is just one more step along the way."

James sat back down on his bed, his eyes connecting with Jamie's. Jamie knew what he was thinking, but she couldn't help but feel that this was so much more than being an Auror. Besides, she had decided to give that all up - hadn't she?

"Well, we're not all as reckless as you, Sirius," Lauren sighed, getting to her feet and pulling her bag over her left shoulder. "Come on, Peter. There's a little too much crazy in this room."

Seven sets of eyes were suddenly fixed on the blonde boy, who hadn't so much as moved since they had all gotten to the room. Peter's gaze lifted, looking at Lauren, then around at his fellow Marauders. He paused to lock eyes with Sirius, who was giving him a determined look as he stuffed a piece of parchment in an envelope.

"Peter, let's go!" Lauren said again, the tone of her voice almost threatening him.

"I - Lauren, I - "

"Oh, you can't honestly be playing into what he's saying?" Lauren's eyes widening in disbelief as she pointed a finger at Sirius.

"I don't know, Lauren!" Peter shouted, glaring at her. "I just read this bloody letter moments ago! I don't know what I'm going to do yet!"

"I'll tell you what you're going to do - "

"Lauren, listen to yourself!" Peter flared up, getting to his feet and letting the letter drop to the ground. "This isn't your decision - it's mine! You can't bully me into doing what you want me to do!"

Lauren's mouth opened and closed for a moment, making herself look very much like a fish. She looked as though she was about to cry when she finally turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, muttering under her breath.

The remained teenagers looked at each other, an uneasy cloud settling over them. After a few silent seconds, Lily cleared her throat and got to her feet, putting the letter into her bag.

"I'm going to go study," she announced, reaching forward and squeezing James's hand affectionately. "I'll see you lot in class later."

"We should at least try to make Divination, Padfoot and Wormtail," James suggested, calm once more.

"Sure," Sirius agreed, getting to his feet, making a beeline across the room with his bag on his shoulder. James and Peter followed, looking quite grim.

The remaining three looked uneasily at each other, Jaclyn more so. "I'll leave you two - "

"You don't have to go," Jamie interrupted, walking across the room and sitting on James's bed. "It's not like we're going to snog right here in front of you."

Not wanting to cause an argument, Jaclyn chose not to mention that they had done that exact thing quite a few times - although Jaclyn had not been alone at the time - she got to her feet nonetheless. "No, I think I'll go check on Lauren."

"To be honest, I was waiting for Peter to blow up at her," Remus admitted, striding to his own bed. "Lauren is more demanding of him than Sirius and James can be."

"That's just how Lauren is," Jamie explained. "It's part of her charm."

"She really doesn't like to be disagreed with," Jaclyn added. "But, someone needs to make sure she's all right."

Jaclyn waved quickly as she left the room, allowing the large oak door to 'thud' shut behind her. Alone, Jamie finally allowed her hysterics through.

"What do you think?" Jamie asked Remus, getting up from James's bed and gliding across the room to sit next to Remus. "Lauren's right - this is really dangerous, but Sirius is right, too. We can't just sit by knowing the horrible things that are happening and watch."

Remus brought his hands to his head, rubbing his temples furiously. "I was waiting for this to happen."

"You knew and didn't tell me?" Jamie asked, her eyes wide. "How - "

"Do you remember last year when my granddad died?" Jamie nodded silently. "Well, I had to ask special permission to leave the school for his funeral, just like you lot had to when James's dad died. I was up in Dumbledore's office when he got a message from someone. He left the office for a few minutes and while he was gone, I saw this piece of parchment - it almost looked like a spare bit; it had so many names crossed out and added to it.

"To make a long story short, all of our names were on it with '1978' as the header. I didn't really know what it was for, but I figured we'd find out in due time," Remus finished, sighing. "There were a whole score of other names on it. Some dated back to five or six years ago."

Remus pushed himself back to lie on his bed, Jamie following him in suit and fitting herself next to him, his arm around her.

"What do you think?" Jamie repeated.

"I think that I feel like it's my duty to do it," Remus sighed, bringing one of his hands back up to his head to pull through his hair. "I can't not join, you know what I mean?"

"I feel the same way," Jamie admitted. "It's thoroughly frightening, though."

"Just about everything is in these times," Remus added grimly.

* * *

"You did _what_?" 

Every occupant in the Gryffindor common room turned dramatically, his or her eyes on one couple in particular. Lauren's eyes were blazing as she stood over Peter, who had a defiant look in his eyes, even if he was shirking away slightly.

"I can't believe you! We didn't even talk about it!"

"It wasn't up to you," Peter replied quietly, fully aware of the sets of ears spread throughout the room that were trying desperately to catch every word. "I was hoping that you'd at least try to support me in this."

"Support you in signing up for your suicide?" Lauren asked, lowering her voice a decibel. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No," Peter replied, folding his arms over his chest as he got to his feet, forcing Lauren to take a step backward. "It's obvious, however, that you think myself as one."

"This is all Black's fault!" Lauren accused, looking around the room for who she thought the culprit of her boyfriend growing a spine.

"No, Sirius had nothing to do with this decision!" Peter insisted. "I had really hoped that you wouldn't be so close-minded about this!"

"You're insane, Peter," Lauren said.

"If you think that, things definitely aren't going to work out between us anymore," Peter shrugged, swallowing hard and looking as though this was taking every fiber of energy for him to say. "I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me."

"Well, I can't be with someone who does what everyone else thinks he should do," Lauren countered.

"But you could be with someone who does what you think they should do, hm?" Peter shot back.

Lauren paused for a moment, trying to understand what he was saying, before she spun around melodramatically and disappearing into the girl's dormitory. Peter, who was breathing heavily, looked at the spot that Lauren had occupied only seconds before in disbelief as he fell backwards onto the couch. In the seconds that followed, the room filled with whispers and murmurs.

"What were they talking about?"

"They were dating? I had no idea."

"Do you think we should tell McGonagall that Pettigrew is suicidal?"

"What a bitch - she wouldn't even listen to him."

"He's obviously not thinking about her."

"Are you okay?"

The last one was said directly to Peter from Lily. She looked down at him with concern, and then put a hand on his shoulder.

"I think so," Peter admitted slowly. "I - I feel like I might be sick."

Lily chuckled quietly, and then patted his back softly. "Lauren has a hot head. Give her time - she'll understand why you're doing what you're doing."

"I don't know."

"Oh, Peter, she had been on a rampage in our room about how if any of us agree to join, she'll throw our things onto the grounds and other empty threats," Lily sighed. "She's finally gotten past the fact that she really has no say in the affairs of our lives, even if she is one of our best friends. She'll realize it with you, too."

"I suppose," Peter leaned back in his armchair, still looking quite surprised by his actions. "Will you talk to her for me, Lily?"

Lily smiled at him and nodded. "I'll do my best. Lauren's one of the most stubborn people I've ever met, but I've picked up on how to break her these past years."

Peter smiled back at her. "Thanks."

"It's what I do," Lily nodded. Then, she leaned forward and kissed Peter on his cheek. "I almost forgot - happy Valentine's Day."

"You, too," Peter replied as Lily took the same course Lauren had moments before.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Holy crap, that's right! Peter and Lauren are in this story, too:-) Just kidding.. I thought that they were perfect for this argument - that and I felt bad at the supreme lack of the two characters in the story. This is a pretty dramatic chapter, but I thought it better than something with no plot. Besides, it was pretty important, I suppose._

_Aaaanyways. Quick poll: If I do a Sirius/OC story, will you all read it as well as this one? I have a pretty decent idea cooking up in my head, so I'm debating it I want to start. I'll keep doing this story, of course. Things are just starting to heat up!_

_Thanks for reading and you know you want to review..the little box is speaking to you.._


	17. Give Me Novocaine

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Give Me Novocaine" is by Green Day and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Seventeen: Give Me Novocaine**

_Give me a long kiss goodnight  
And everything will be alright_

"I can't believe Sirius got so serious with Charlotte Jones so fast," Lily commented over her roast beef, her eyes following Sirius, who had just entered the Great Hall for dinner, walk over the Hufflepuff table, where Charlie was sitting with her friends.

"I know," Jamie nodded through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"Oh, really, Jamie, that's revolting," Lily made a face of distaste. Jamie only smiled, which proceeded to gross Lily out more, as there were pieces of potato stuck to her teeth.

"You're so entertaining," Jamie laughed upon seeing Lily's face.

"I wish I could say so much for you," Lily scoffed. "From what James said, though, apparently the two of them are a perfect match."

"The two of whom?" Jamie asked, buttering a roll.

"Sirius and Charlotte!"

"Oh, we're still talking about them?" Jamie raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I still am at least," Lily sighed, not for the first time wondering why she had chosen Jamie as her best friend.

"Why are you so concerned?" Jamie glanced up at the couple, who were generating glares from more than a few people at different tables.

"I'm not, I just - "

"Lily, are you keeping something from me?" Jamie's eyes danced playfully. "Do you have an ickle crushie on Mr. Blackie?"

Lily gave Jamie yet another look of disgust. "You're becoming more and more revolting by the second." She gasped as she saw Sirius and Charlie get to their feet and begin to walk over to the Gryffindor table. "Oh, shit! Pretend we weren't talking about them."

"You mean _you_ weren't talking about them," Jamie replied, taking a bite out of her roll.

"If you so much as mention it, I'll tell Sirius that you called him 'Mr. Blackie'," Lily threatened under her breath, quickly looking at her Transfiguration textbook that she had been trying to study from.

"Resorting to blackmail," Jamie tutted. "The first sign of a crushie wushie."

Lily gave Jamie a death glare, then smiled as Sirius and Charlie sat down across from them. "Hi, you two," she greeted.

"Hi," Sirius replied as Charlie returned the smile and gave a small wave. "Where's Prongs?"

"Detention with Peter," Lily supplied, not bothering to hide her annoyance. "Something about house elves and the Slytherin common room. I don't suppose you have any idea what went on?" She raised an eyebrow to Sirius.

"Sorry, Lily, my dear," Sirius put up his right hand. "Marauder's honor."

"Did you four even consult a dictionary before dubbing yourselves as such?" Jamie asked, reaching for another roll. "It's not a very flattering title."

"I warned them," Remus greeted as he sat down next to Jamie, then kissed her on the cheek. "But why would they believe the only level headed one of the group?"

"Oh, Moony, you're just as screwed up as the rest of us, if not a bit more," Sirius replied conversationally.

"Padfoot, good man, I don't think anyone in Hogwarts exceeds the level that you've managed," Remus countered politely, scooping a healthy helping of mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"Sirius, you never did explain where those nicknames came from," Charlie asked, obviously a bit uncomfortable being away from her table, but trying not to show it.

"It's a long and quite tiring tale, I must admit," Sirius sighed heavily, as though only mentioning it was horrible for him. "Perhaps I'll tell you one day."

Charlie glanced at Lily and Jamie, as though asking if he was joking. Jamie smirked at her, shaking her head.

"He's a loony, Charlotte," Jamie said bluntly.

"Charlie," she interrupted, smiling nonetheless. "I'd explain, but, well, it's a long and quite tiring tale, I must admit. Perhaps I'll tell you one day."

Sirius looked at Charlie, his jaw slack. "Are you mocking me, Charlotte Jones?"

"I believe I am, Sirius Black," Charlie grinned, leaning close to him so he could hiss her softly.

Suddenly, Jaclyn, who had just arrived at the table, cleared her throat loudly, seating herself on the other side of Lily while Lauren seated herself just next to Sirius. Jaclyn gave Sirius a begrudging look before silently helping herself to the food that surrounded her.

"Right, well, I should head out," Charlie announced, sensing that the now highly uncomfortable tension in the air was due to her presence. "Quidditch practice and all…"

"Will I still be seeing you tonight?" Sirius asked as Charlie got to her feet and found her bag of books.

"I wouldn't miss it," Charlie nodded, giving a warm smile to the others, although looking stricken at the look on Jaclyn's face. Sirius watched as the Hufflepuff bounced away from the table, waving at her friends from her own House before disappearing from the Great Hall. Returning his gaze to the table, he gave Jaclyn a withering look.

"What?" Jaclyn asked, a bite in her tone as though daring him to say something that could make her blow her top.

"Nothing," Sirius backed down, returning her poisonous look before concentrating on his dinner.

After quite a few silent moments between the group that was only interrupted by the scraping of knives and forks against plates, Jamie coughed loudly, trying to break the silence.

"Well, this has been sufficiently awkward," she nodded, setting her fork on her plate. "While I'd hate to leave it behind, I have a date with an aquatic creature."

As Jamie started to gather her belongings, Remus shoved one more forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and managed a, "Wait!" through his food.

"Good Lord!" Lily said, looking at Remus in shock. "You're where she gets her table manners!"

"It's the other way around, I promise," Remus replied simply, finding his cloak and bag as well. "I'll come with you."

Once they reached the entrance hall, Jamie gave Remus a wary look, as though unsure if she was about to offend him. Remus noticed the look and braced himself.

"I don't want you to get mad, but Holly is really uncomfortable around other humans," Jamie said quickly, as though the faster she said it the less it would sting. "Especially male humans."

"Oh," Remus replied, surprised. "Well, er, that's all right. I was going to give you something, but I suppose that could wait."

"No, I can - "

"It's all right," Remus insisted, nodding to her. "Go and see your nixie friend and meet me up in my room later. It can wait."

"If you're sure."

"I'm positive," Remus nodded, leaning down to kiss her, resulting in gasps from the portrait of an elderly witch next to them.

"I'll see you later," Jamie said, squeezing Remus's hand and ignoring the lecture they were receiving about young men and women showing affection in pubic.

Once onto the grounds, Jamie brought her maroon and gold scarf closer around her neck, surprised at how cold it was. Sure, it was late February, but normally she was used to the cold and didn't mind it quite so much. She suddenly felt a bit nauseous and stopped walking for a moment. Confused, Jamie breathed deeply, allowing the feeling to pass. Once it did, she brushed it away and continued toward the lake.

Reaching the beech tree, Jamie draped her bag on one of the branches so it didn't have to sit in the snow. Absentmindedly, she kicked aside some snow, digging down to the grass that wouldn't show itself on its own for a few months yet.

"Hello."

Jamie visibly jumped, gasping loudly despite that she had been expecting the greeting. "Hi, Holly."

"I didn't mean to frighten you," Holly apologized, pulling herself closer to Jamie, but not completely leaving the water.

"It's not a problem," Jamie insisted, willing her heart to return to a normal pace. "I should have been - "

"Did you come alone?" Holly asked, her eyes squinting and looking over Jamie's shoulder.

"Er, yes, I believe so," Jamie glanced behind her, seeing a single set of footprints leading from the school to where she was standing in the snow that had fallen only that morning.

"Are you sure?" Holly asked again, bringing her gaze back to Jamie.

"Remus wanted to come, but he said he was going to wait for me in the Tower," Jamie thought aloud, warranting one more fleeting glance behind her. "Why?"

Holly had a perplexed look on her green face, but then she visibly shook it off - a habit she had picked up from Jamie - before saying, "Nevermind - it was only a feeling. Please, tell me about your week."

* * *

"Oh, come on, Prongs," Sirius pleased, kneeling on his best friend's bed, pleading his case for the umpteenth time. He stole a glance at his watch. "I'm already ten minutes late to meet Charlie!" 

"Well, that's not my fault, is it?" James sated, holding his wand and practicing a swishing motion, trying to teach himself how to do a charm.

"Technically it is because if you would have given me the cloak fifteen minutes ago I wouldn't be in this predicament," Sirius insisted, staring at James's wand. "Please, Prongsie, I'll do anything. I can't get caught out at night anymore - McGonagall isn't above kicking me out with only a few months left."

"Look, Padfoot, I'd give it to you, but you kind of got caught last time I borrowed it to you without anyone else," James explained, slapping his wand onto his blanket. "If someone finds out again and I get linked to it, I'm in deep and I don't feel like getting kicked out just months before we finish school. You wouldn't get kicked out just because you get caught on your way to a snog."

"Prongs, it sounds as if you don't trust me," Sirius pouted, folding his arms and pretending to be hurt. James just gave Sirius a look and returned to practicing the charm. "Look," Sirius continued, "it won't take that long."

"'It won't take that long?'" James repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Just how long were you planning to fool around with Charlie?"

Sirius grinned. "Okay, you're right. It might take a bit longer than expected."

James sighed loudly to make it obvious that he was being annoyed. "No, Sirius, I will not allow you to borrow my cloak that I received from my now deceased father to snog with your girlfriend in some cupboard."

"Excuse me, I am above closets," Sirius countered, dropping his jaw in shock. "Astronomy Tower."

"Oh, in that case," James replied as he fingered his wand with his forefinger and thumb. He was supposed to learn the charm for his class on the coming Monday. However, he had been putting his homework on hold lately due to Quidditch practices so he now had quite a massive pile to catch up on.

"Prongs," Sirius begged, looking from his watch to James. "Please - I'll owe you big."

"You have yet to repay me from the last time you owed me big," James said, beginning to resign to his fate. "Fine, take it."

"You're a lifesaver," Sirius grinned, pulling open James's trunk and taking the silky invisibility cloak that was resting on top. "Thanks, Prongs!"

"Yeah, whatever," James muttered as Sirius shut the door and took off at a spring down the steps of the boy's dormitory. As he reached the door, he quickly put the cloak over himself in case there were some people still in the common room. It didn't really occur to him that people might find it odd that the door to the dormitory was opening, but Sirius wasn't to be bothered with that at the moment. Rather, he was thinking about a certain brunette waiting for him in the Astronomy Tower. Sure, it wasn't romantic, but that suited Sirius just fine.

As Sirius emerged into the common room, he saw that it was quite crowded with students doing everything from studying to arguing amongst each other. He thought he caught a glimpse of a girl with very pale purple skin, causing Sirius to grin at his own craftsmanship. As he started for the exit, he saw that Remus was playing chess with Peter, who was losing terribly. Being the sly friend he was, he eased his way over to his friends and snatched Remus's king clean off the board.

"Sirius, put it down!" Remus hissed in a hushed voice, his eyes darting around in hopes that no one was noticing the floating chess piece.

"Prongs actually gave you his cloak?" Peter wondered. "He seemed pretty set when we left the dormitory."

"Well, I have the power of persuasion," Sirius replied, throwing the king in the air and catching it. Then, noticing the look on Remus's face, he let out a bark-like laugh and said, "Fine, Moony, here you go," and set the piece back down on the board where he had picked it up. "I need to go anyways."

Once Sirius reached the portrait hole, it swung open, nearly knocking him over. Jamie stepped through, obviously not seeing or noticing him. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge to trip her or do something equally sinister, then opted for ducking out the hole quickly before it closed.

Meanwhile, Jamie strode across the common room, jumping out of the way of two first years throwing a Fanged Frisbee. Glad she wasn't a prefect, she shook her head at the two of them, causing them to swallow hard in itself, as they recognized her as a seventh year. Laughing on the inside, Jamie walked past them and put her arms around Remus as he ordered one of his knights across the chessboard.

"Sorry about this mate," Remus smiled at Peter, "but checkmate."

"I don't know why I keep playing," Peter sighed, gazing dejectedly as Remus's knight pummeled his king. "I'm terrible at this game."

"Practice makes perfect?" Jamie said in a questioning tone.

Peter only gave her a contemptuous look, obviously still sore about his row with Lauren. As he turned to tell off Remus's knight and try to put his set away, Jamie straightened up and Remus turned to face her.

"How was your visit with Holly?" Remus asked.

"Unsettling," Jamie said simply. "But, well, she also lives in a lake, so it's not like I was meeting Lily for tea." She paused, amusing herself for a moment with the image of having tea with the nixie. Recovering, she asked, "You wanted to give me something?"

"Yes, I do," Remus nodded. "Wormtail, do you mind clearing my pieces as well?"

Peter shrugged in agreement, noticing Lauren on the other side of the common room with Jaclyn, laughing loudly at something a sixth year he didn't know was saying, shooting glances in their direction.

Once out of earshot, Jamie sighed. "I wish they'd realize how immature they're being. Lauren is waiting for him to apologize."

"He shouldn't have to apologize, though," Remus commented, holding open the door to the boy's dormitory for Jamie, ignoring the catcalling they were receiving from some fourth year boys sitting on a couch nearby.

"I know, Remus, I know," Jamie replied, having had the conversation before. "I just hate the tension it causes."

"And then there's Jaclyn and Sirius," Remus added.

"That's a whole other story," Jamie shook her head, happy to have Remus and not have to deal with Hogwarts drama anymore. She had enough of it when she'd been dating Sirius.

Remus held the door open for Jamie, who walked in to see James swearing loudly, trying to put out a small fire on his bed with a shoe. Jamie and Remus gawked at the show James was giving them and he didn't notice them entering until he was positive the fire was out.

"Hi," James mustered, looking moodily at his wand.

"Are you having problems?" Jamie asked, walking over to his bed and glancing at his textbook. "Oh, Charms. Why didn't you tell me you're having difficulties? I could have helped you."

"Because I'm a man," James explained simply, as though it was a sufficient answer. "It's up there with the asking for directions and opening a pickle jar rules."

"Of course," Jamie rolled her eyes, setting her bag and cloak down on an armchair.

A beat passed before Remus cleared his throat and gave James a look. James gave him a questioning look back, causing Remus to jerk his head toward the door. After a moment, James nodded and said, "Oh, that's right. The package."

"Thanks, Prongs," Remus rolled his eyes.

"As if I couldn't see the two of you from here," Jamie snorted, crossing her arms.

"Right, well, I'm going to go practice down in the common room," James scooped up his wand and book. "I'll make sure no one comes up until Jamie does - whenever that might be."

"You're foul, James," Jamie said.

"Love you, too, Jamie," James countered as the door closed behind him.

"Oh, I can just feel the love in this room," Remus smirked, then led Jamie by the hand to his bed, where he made her sit down. "Just one moment."

Jamie sat patiently while she craned her neck to watch Remus fish through one of the drawers to his dresser with a curious expression on her face. After finding what he was looking for, he turned around with a wide smile on his face. He hid the object behind his back, then stood in front of Jamie.

"Yes?" Jamie asked, smiling at how sneaky he was pretending to be.

"I had hoped that I could have given this to you by Christmas, but funds were lacking and, well, you know how it goes," Remus apologized, then kneeled in front of her.

"You didn't have to get me - oh, Remus," Jamie gasped as Remus opened a small, black velvet box to reveal a simple, white-gold ring embedded with a medium sized diamond, light glinting off of it.

"I know you said that the ring you've got was fine, but…" Remus shrugged. "I figured you deserved better than a 5 Galleon ring I bought in Hogsmeade."

"Oh, Remus," Jamie repeated as he took the ring out of the box. With one fluid moment, he slipped his plain silver band off Jamie's left ring finger and replaced it with the new one. He gingerly set the other ring on his bedside table, the smiled at her sheepishly, sending a shiver through Jamie.

"Do you like it?"

"Oh, I absolutely abhor it, Mr. Lupin," Jamie sat up straight and stuck her nose in the air, putting on an air that obviously meant she was pretending to be Narcissa Malfoy. "I demand that you return this wretched spot of metal immediately. I cannot believe I let it grace my fingers." She shook her hair for extended effect, despite that her hair was the stark opposite of Narcissa's - dark and almost wavy compared to white-blonde and stick straight.

Once finished, she flashed a smile at Remus, her eyes dancing as she put a hand behind his head and weaved her fingers in his hair. "Although you didn't have to do this, I love it. It's absolutely gorgeous."

"Of course I didn't have to," Remus said smartly. "That's what makes me great."

"Is that so?" Jamie asked playfully, cocking her head slightly.

"Well, I don't want to boast," Remus winked, "but I _am_ a Marauder."

Jamie rolled her eyes melodramatically. "Do you lot have to use that as an excuse for everything?"

"Do you doubt?" Remus asked, getting to his feet and slyly pushing her farther back onto his bed. As if they knew what was happening in the room, the scattered candles and torches around the room slowly flickered out, the only light coming through the few windows in the room, bathing the room in a dark red from the setting sun.

"Of course not," Jamie smiled, allowing herself to sink back onto the mattress, vaguely aware of Remus struggling to pull of his tie.

"Bloody uniforms," he swore, finally untying the knot that Jamie always had to tie before they went to breakfast - but his friends would never find that out.

Jamie gave Remus an amused look and, to prevent him from complaining further, put a hand on each side of his face and brought it down to her own, their lips touching. Remus propped himself up above her, his legs becoming intertwined with hers as her hands traveled from his face down his torso.

"I love you," Remus said softly, his lips traveling down her jaw line.

Jamie sighed in pleasure as he reached the soft skin of her neck. "I love you, too, Remus." Then, sobering up slightly, she put a hand to his chest. "Will you promise me something?"

"It depends on what it is," Remus replied, running a hand through her dark hair. "What's on your mind?"

"Promise me you'll never die," Jamie said simply, a momentary look of fear in her eyes.

A mixture of emotions flashed through Remus's face before he decided on, "Jamie, you - you know I can't promise you that."

"I know," Jamie resigned, putting a hand on his cheek. "I just - "

"However, I will promise to be careful," Remus continued, "I also promise that I won't ever leave you." Jamie nodded mutely. "So long as you promise the same, of course."

"I promise," Jamie nodded again, her voice cracking. She wrapped her arms around Remus, bringing him close to her, hugging him tightly. "I love you so much."

Remus almost chortled, but thought better of it. "I love you so much, too," he answered, his hands sliding under her, struggling to hold him up so he wouldn't crush her.

After a few moments, Jamie loosened her grip and Remus breathed a sigh of relief to see that her face was free of tears. In fact, a smile was playing on her lips.

"Well, now that we got that out of the way," she shrugged as though they had only been discussing Quidditch scores.

"I'd say," Remus joked back, allowing Jamie to find his lips and kissing them hard.

As Remus's calloused fingers tugged at Jamie's sweater, brushing her bare skin softly, she allowed all thoughts of the outside world to leave her. There may have been a war brewing outside and two brief letters accepting membership into the Order of the Phoenix from them both on their Headmaster's desk, but meanwhile, all that mattered at the moment was running her fingers down Remus's bare sides just so, causing him to moan appreciatively. Moreover, despite that he would be turning into a monster in just a few days time, Remus felt pride in his chest as he watched those eyes look at him in a way reserved for him and only him.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Oh golly. Fluffiness for all. I rather enjoyed writing this chapter, so I apologize if you don't like it quite as much as past ones. I like it and that's all that matters. ;-)_

_Thank you all for the amazing reviews! I love you guys - honestly. Thank you for being so loyal..it gives me warm fuzzies. Anyways, thanks so much for reading!_

* * *

**A lot of you have recently gone anonymous..so I can reply to your reviews. I apologize if you're about to get another one. :-)**

**Nicoley117:** Oh, I definitely know that I already responded to your review. :) Anyways, everything I said last time? Multiply it by ten. Thanks for reading!

**LandUnderWave:** As I'm sure I told you, I am striving to give Peter a character, because I feel like far too many writers on here just opt to write him out..like it's easier or something. However, I figure he couldn't have been terrible at first - why would they have been friends with him then? Sigh. Anyways, thanks for reading!

**radical-rebel: **I'm glad you liked it! At first this was meant to be a mainly Sirius/OC fic (it was going to end up with Sirius/Jamie and Remus/Jaclyn), but that definitely didn't happen..so, I'd like to make up for it. :-) Thanks for reading!

**nicola:** So, I went back and read the very first story that I put on this site..and nearly vomited at how Mary-Sue it was. What can I say? I was a freshman in high school and obviously didn't know any better. Yeah..that sounds about right. :-) Anyways, thank you SO much. I'm definitely just a wanna be British "kid" from smalltown Wisconsin..so I really appreciate you telling me that. But thanks so much for the review and I hope you keep reading!

**allweknowisfalling: **I'm trying to get this story to be Sirius/Jaclyn, but it's going to take some time. Just sit tight! The Sirius/OC I'm planning is sort of like this one..it takes Sirius and the OC quite some time to realize that they're perfect for each other. But, hey..isn't that how all romances go? Sure... :-) Anyways, thanks so much for reading!

**dolly:** I'm glad you liked it! Like I told LandUnderWave, I really think that Peter would need to have a lot of character, putting up with his fellow Marauders and all that. So, I really don't like it when writers basically write him out of the story..which happens all too often. Thanks for reading and the amazing compliments!

**Jac:** Meh, shut yer trap. Just kidding. I guess I figured that they weren't terribly in danger of being intercepted what with them only having to go from Dumbledore's office and/or the Owlery to the Great Hall or somewhere else on the grounds. You know..because they'd be protected by the school and all that mumbo jumbo. :-) And I'd definitely not abandon this. This thing has morphed into my dramatic, sexual tensiony, whatever else you want to call it baby.


	18. Rooftop

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Rooftop" is by Melissa McClelland and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Eighteen: Rooftop**

_The roof slips beneath my feet  
As the branches back away from me  
The softest grass turns to concrete  
But I will fly_

"Can't I just copy your essay?"

"No, Jamie," Lily whispered forcefully, scribbling on a piece of parchment without looking across the table at her. "Last time I let you copy, you went verbatim and Slughorn noticed. The only reason we didn't get in any trouble was because I'm in that damn Slug Club of his."

"Just drop it already," Jaclyn rolled her eyes, writing her Ancient Runes letter with great fervor.

"Well, this time I'll flip the words around and such," Jamie promised, leaning forward in her chair, trying to see what Lily was writing.

"No!" Lily insisted, raising her voice a bit, then glancing about to make sure Madam Pince wasn't skulking about where they were seated.

"Fine," Jamie pouted, sliding her Potions text and the beginnings of her essay over. "I just won't do it then."

Lily sighed heavily, knowing that Jamie was only playing at her weaknesses. That was the drawback of having the same best friend for many years - they got to know you far too well. Lily tried to ignore Jamie's defiant pose - her arms crossed and her stare directly into Lily's eyes in a gaze Lily was trying not to meet. After a few silent moments, Lily made an impatient noise from the back of her throat.

"Fine. I'll give it to you once I finished," she resigned, looking back down at her essay. "Just don't make a habit of it."

"Thanks, Lily," Jamie beamed, glad to see that her hard work paid off in one way as she ignored Jaclyn's disapproving noises next to her.

"Whatever," Lily replied as Jamie pulled out her Care for Magical Creatures book. "Here, go fetch me this book in return, will you? I think it's near the back of the library."

"No problem," Jamie agreed, taking a small slip of paper with _"2500 Potions for the Ages - Rogue, Natalia R."_ and some catalog information written on it in Lily's handwriting.

As soon as she took off to leave, Jamie was sure Jaclyn would be slandering her as soon as she was out of earshot. Although she liked to pretend that it wasn't bothering her, she'd become increasingly moody regarding Sirius and Charlie and liked to complain to anyone that would listen. While she didn't talk about them often, she did make it known that she was terribly annoyed with anyone who had another half.

Glancing down at the paper, Jamie strode across the library and turned sharply once she reached the section that contained many different potions books. Staring intently at the bookshelf in front of her, she jumped when she heard a long sigh a few feet away from her.

"Andrew…," breathed a girl, causing Jamie to shake her head and chuckling silently. Then, slowly, she recognized that brown feathered hair and green shoulder bag.

"Lauren?" Jamie asked, an amused expression on her face.

"Oh, God!" Lauren exclaimed, pushing Andrew Gibbons, a Ravenclaw seventh year, off of her. She paused for a moment, then slapped him for general effect.

"Just looking for a book," Jamie smirked, making her way down the aisle.

"What was that for?" Andrew asked, rubbing his cheek slightly as Jamie walked past her blushing friend and into another section.

As she continued her search, she heard Lauren and Andrew falling back into their previous activities. Trying to block the noises out from her hearing, she hurried down the aisle and stopped where Lily's catalog information told her. She pulled the large, very dog-eared book off the shelf and turned to walk back to where Jaclyn and Lily were sitting. Careful to take a different route so as to not interrupt Lauren again, Jamie took a very roundabout way through the library.

"Jamie in a library? I never thought I'd see the day."

"I could say the same about you, Narcissa," Jamie said breezily, regretting instantly that she turned down that aisle.

"This badge didn't earn itself," Lauren smirked, puffing her chest out so Jamie couldn't miss her prefect badge.

"Well, they had to give it to someone," Jamie shrugged, trying to dodge past Narcissa who moved so she couldn't get by. "It's not like they had many choices in Slytherin - half your lot can't write their own names let alone get decent grades."

Narcissa's smirk wavered briefly before she recovered. She looked Jamie up and down, as though searching for some way to belittle her. After what seemed like hours, Narcissa finally found a suitable insult.

"You're looking a bit plumper than normal, Jamie." Her gaze fell down to Jamie's midsection, where she quickly dropped Lily's book to hide out of self-consciousness.

At first, Jamie wasn't sure what she was more offended of - the insult itself or just how lame the insult was.

"Clever, Narcissa," Jamie rolled her eyes, pretending not to be affected by the jab, pushing past the Slytherin and ignoring the retort that she called after her.

As soon as she turned down a different aisle of bookshelves, Jamie slowed down her pace, looking down at the insulted part of her body. She normally liked how she looked and rarely mentioned it, unlike her friends, who were constantly complaining about problems only they could see in the mirror. However, as she checked herself out momentarily, she did notice that her robes seemed a bit tighter than usual. She swallowed hard, hoping that it was just a play the dim light was causing.

"Does it look like I've put on any weight?" Jamie asked quietly to Lily and Jaclyn once she reached their study table. She stood at the side and smoothed her robes over her abdomen.

"No," Lily said simply, only glancing up for a moment. "Well, maybe a little."

"It doesn't look bad or anything," Jaclyn commented, setting her quill down and stretching her fingers. "You could stand to put a bit on, honestly."

"It's not a lot or anything, is it?" Jamie asked, noticing Narcissa emerging from the bookshelves and walking over to where her friends were sitting.

Lily followed her gaze, then snorted. "Jamie, don't take anything Narcissa Black says seriously. Honestly, she's only trying to get you worked up."

Jamie sat herself down across from Lily and said, "Well, it worked."

"D'you mind if I sit with you lot?" They were interrupted by Mani Patil, a fellow Gryffindor seventh year. "This is the only open chair in the whole library."

"Of course," Jaclyn agreed, moving her things out of the way so he could sit across from her. Jamie and Lily exchanged a look - they knew that Jaclyn had hypothesized that Mani Patil was the mysterious "Orion" that she had been writing to in Ancient Runes. He fit the criteria near perfectly and, as Jaclyn had mentioned, he was pretty easy on the eyes as well, with tan skin and dark eyes.

"What are you working on, if you don't mind me asking?" Jaclyn asked, flushing slightly.

"My Herbology essay," Mani shrugged. He turned to Jamie and asked, "Have you finished yours yet?"

"I'm near finished," Jamie nodded, turning to rummage through her bag. "D'you want to take a look?"

"That'd be great," Mani agreed, looking relieved. "I wasn't entirely sure how to approach the topic."

"What are you studying?" Jaclyn asked quickly. "You know, I got an 'O' on my Herbology OWL. I'd have continued, too, if McGonnagal hadn't convinced me otherwise."

As Jamie handed Mani her essay, he answered, "Basically we're just supposed to discuss the differences from Whomping Willows and normal willow trees."

"You know," Jaclyn leaned forward, lowering her voice as Madam Pince scurried by, ignoring them as she went to scold some other poor, unsuspecting student, "not many people know that there are Whomping Willows in the wild. Most all of the students here think that the Willow on the grounds is enchanted."

"Well, they're mighty rare, aren't they?" Mani asked, setting Jamie's essay down in front of him.

"There aren't many, that's for sure," Jaclyn nodded.

Lily and Jamie exchanged another look. They were both thinking the same thing - maybe now she'll finally get over the whole Sirius situation and they don't have to feel guilty about their boyfriends.

* * *

"Bloody hell, Jamie, get your arse out of bed already," Jaclyn reprimanded, pulling the curtains to Jamie's four-poster open with a flourish. "It's nearly noon." 

Jamie groaned loudly, covering her face with a hand as she stretched with the other. "I'm so damn tired."

"I don't know why," Lily commented, standing in front of the mirror next to her bed, making faces at herself. "You were out cold last night by nine o'clock - on a Saturday, no less."

"Ugh, I feel like I have a hangover," Jamie wiped her eyes with the palms of her hands. "You didn't sneak me anything, did you?"

"That would have been my department and, no, I didn't," Lauren smirked, teasing her hair slightly, preparing for a walk around the grounds that she was taking later with a sixth year. Everyone knew that she was only doing it to make Peter jealous - and it was obvious that she was succeeding.

"And the boys were gone all night doing some sort of mischief," Jaclyn added, while now knowing about Remus's lycanthropy, was still oblivious to the other Marauders' being Animagi.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Jamie said suddenly, rolling out of her bed and slowly staggering toward the door, clutching her stomach.

"Do you need - oh, that's disgusting," Jaclyn turned away from her cousin, a hand over her mouth knowing that if she so much as saw the vomit, she'd do the same thing.

"Gross - what did you eat?" Lauren asked, kneeling up on her bed. "You couldn't have made it into the garbage can at least?"

"You two aren't helping," Lily scolded, pointing her wand at Jamie's sick and saying, _"Scourgify."_ She put an arm around Jamie's waist, helping her into the bathroom that they shared with the girls in the sixth year dorm.

"Excuse me," Lily said quickly, pushing Angela Diggory out of the way, ignoring her protests of needing to use the only open toilet.

As soon as Lily helped Jamie to her knees and her face over the bowl, she made a face as she listened to her best friend make horrid retching noises into it. She glanced back at Angela, who had a surprised expression on her face.

"It's all yours," she shook her head, backing up and waiting for another to open up.

After a few moments, Jamie was still kneeling, but sitting up straight. Her face was red and damp with sweat. "This is absolutely horrid."

"You haven't had to sit here listening to it," Lily said, giving her an empathetic look nonetheless. "Do you want to see Madam Pomfrey?"

"No, it'll pass," Jamie swallowed hard, trying to fight back the nauseous feeling in her gut. "I'm sure it was just something I ate yesterday."

"You only ate cauliflower - even though there were gingersnap cookies for dessert at dinner, which are your all time favorite," Lily pointed out, pulling Jamie's hair back out of her face comfortingly. "You nearly took a house elf's head off in the kitchens, too, when he didn't get you that extra cauliflower soon enough."

"I've been pretty crabby lately, haven't I?" Jamie asked, grimacing. She leaned forward, resting her forehead on the cool porcelain of the toilet.

"Of course not," Lily lied, glad that Jamie wasn't looking at her face. "You're just stressed out about NEWTs and your wedding and everything else."

"I guess," Jamie sighed, sitting up again and wiping the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her hand. "I think I'm going to go lay back down for a bit."

Lily helped Jamie to her feet, who was much steadier than she had been earlier. Once they were in their room, they noticed that Lauren had left for her date and Jaclyn was looking at Jamie with a mixture of concern and fear that she'd throw up again.

"Are you feeling any better?" Jaclyn asked her, shrinking away slightly as Lily helped Jamie climb into her bed.

"I suppose," Jamie sighed, allowing Lily to cover her with her quilt and close the hangings halfway, so she could still see her roommates. "Thanks, Lils."

"Of course," Lily smiled, not hearing Jamie's childhood nickname for her in years. "I'm putting the trash can next to your bed in case you need it."

"All right," Jamie sighed, giving Lily a thankful look before allowing her eyes to flutter shut again.

* * *

" - and then she threw up everywhere," Jaclyn was recounting to her friends with a flourish of her hands, demonstrating how it had spewed from her mouth. "It was disgusting." 

"Thank you for the graphic description," James replied, a repulsed look on his face, looping his arm around Lily's waist, who was so engrossed in her studying that she hardly noticed.

"No problem," Jaclyn replied, pulling out her eagle feather quill and dipping it into her bottle of ink. "It really was quite nasty."

"Normally vomit is," Peter noted, his face nearly mirroring James's. "It'd be wonderful if you'd change the subject."

Jaclyn shrugged and looked down at what she had written so far to "Orion." Even though she was quite positive he was Mani Patil - who else could it be? - she didn't want him to know that she suspected his true identity. They were getting along magnificently and hopefully she'd get closer to Mani without outing herself.

_"Dear Orion,_

_"I understand what you're saying, but I do have a good friend of mine who 'settled,' so to say, and is now happier than ever. Honestly - I'm waiting for the wedding invitations to be sent out any day now. Maybe what feels like settling is really our minds knowing that we're doing the right thing…which is why it feels so right? I don't know._

_"Do you realize we've been having this discussion for over a month? I suppose it is quite an important topic, though. Well, not so much as important as interesting to discuss…"_

"Oy, Padfoot!" James nearly shouted, causing Jaclyn to jump and streak her parchment with her quill.

"Damn it, James!" Jaclyn swore, throwing her quill down angrily. "Look what you did!"

"Oh, sorry about that," James said offhandedly, getting to his feet and waving his wand over Jaclyn's letter, erasing the mistake.

"Blimey," Jaclyn breathed, her eyes wide. "You'll have to teach that one to me."

"Later," James agreed, stepping over Peter, who was sprawled on the floor with a book open in front of him. "Padfoot, I need to show you something!"

"Is there a particular reason you're shouting?" Sirius said, standing directly behind Jaclyn and causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up.

Realizing that it was the first time in weeks that Sirius and Jaclyn were within ten feet of each other, not counting classrooms, Lily and Peter looked up from their respective books out of curiosity. Jaclyn swallowed hard, pretending to be completely engrossed with her letter, although she wasn't writing anything.

"Because you're hard of hearing," James replied, grabbing hold of Sirius's upper arm and dragging him toward the boys' dormitory.

As soon as James and Sirius disappeared up the spiral stairwell, Lily and Peter looked at Jaclyn questionably. Feeling their gaze, she looked up and gave them a fierce look.

"Is there a problem?"

"None at all," Lily said quickly, returning to her essay as Peter hurriedly looked back down at his book.

Meanwhile, Sirius jerked her arm out of James's grip defiantly. He was slightly amused at how excited his best friend was, but didn't want to show him that.

"What's going on, mate?" Sirius complained, rubbing his arm. "I just want to take a nap - I'm bloody tired after last night."

"How's Moony?" James asked, lowering his voice despite that they were now safe in the silence of their dormitory.

"He said Madam Pomfrey agreed to let him out later tonight," Sirius replied, crossing his arms. "Apparently he's planning on studying with Jamie for some exam they have tomorrow."

"Bad luck for him," James commented, opening the second drawer of his dresser and pulling out a small bag before turning back to Sirius. "Jamie's been throwing up all morning."

"Why didn't she go to the Hospital Wing?" Sirius asked, mildly surprised.

"She's stubborn like that," James replied, then grinned as he pulled out the contents of the bag. "Now, I just want you to tell me what you think - like, if it's too lavish or anything of the sort."

James opened a small, scarlet box, revealing a silver ring, with a large diamond in the center that was embellished with two smaller emeralds on either side. James looked at Sirius expectantly, whose mild surprise from Jamie's health turned into a much greater amount of surprise at the ring that was clearly meant for a possible engagement.

"Well?" James asked, nervousness flickering in his eyes.

"Prongs, mate," Sirius replied, swallowing hard. "Look, we've talked about this before. I love you like a brother, but it'll never be anything more than that."

"Sod off," James rolled his eyes.

Sirius's eyes twinkled before he looked back down at the ring. "Well, it's, er, very nice."

"'Very nice'?" James asked, his face stricken as he snapped the box shut. "It's only 'very nice'?"

"What do you expect me to say, Prongs?" Sirius asked, looking uncomfortable. "'Oh, James, it's absolutely gorgeous - simply spiffing!'? Honestly, mate, you know to go to Jamie if you want a reaction like that."

"I suppose," James said, sighing. "You think Lily will like it?"

"Of course she will," Sirius said honestly, nodding to James. "When are you planning on asking her?"

"I'm not sure," James admitted. "I saw the ring when we were at Diagon Alley over Christmas Holiday and have been playing with the idea over the past few months. I suppose not until the end of term. We haven't been together terribly long."

"Doesn't make it any less real," Sirius took a page out of Remus's book, vaguely remembering the talk they had in the Astronomy Tower.

"I suppose," James smirked, putting the box back in the bag and placing it back in its hiding place. "I just don't want to rush things too terribly. Hell, we've hardly even shagged yet."

"Are you serious?"

"Shut your face," James said simply, striding back to the door of their dormitory. "Not everyone takes that as lightly as you, Padfoot."

Sirius gave James an angry look before James grinned and slipped out of the room.

_'Alayne, whoever gave best mates the right to be brutally honest should be killed,'_ Sirius began to write on a piece of parchment after settling into his bed where he had been in the process of writing his Ancient Runes letter. _'Why should they be able to know us better than anyone else anyway?'_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Sorry I've been absent so long..I was gone at for drum corps finals and I started classes again today (Monday). Hopefully updates will be just as frequent, though, because I have a lot of spare time during the school day and am only taking 13 credits and it's a fairly easy workload. Just a little forewarning, though..I might be absent a bit more than I'd hope. I know you'll all forgive me though, right? Right. _

_As a result of last chapter's poll, I will be tackling a Sirius/OC fic sometime in the near future. I'll be sure to alert y'all as soon as this comes about. :-)_

* * *

**allweknowisfalling:** It's killing me, too! You can only show so much tension before you just break down and put a couple together. :-) Thanks for reading! 

**Nicoley117:** Hey - insaner-er than usual makes me happy. That's what makes the world go round, I'm telling you. I'm trying real hard to back down on the fluffiness scale. I think that the main reason I keep making it so fluffy is because they are teenagers (I remember what it was like to be 17..it was only two years ago, after all) and fluffy happens in those types of relationships. But, alas, they'll get older soon and yeah. We'll see. Anyways, thanks so much for reading!

**LandUnderWave:** I do that allll of the time. Actually, I usually start my friends on new words like that because of it..then they're always still saying it after I stop! I'm such a trend setter. ;-) Thanks for reading!

**frenchcatt: **Thank you for the amaaazing compliment. I try really hard to make everything really well described so it's easy to understand what I'm trying to come across saying. Thanks!

**RockStar Lover:** Haha, I read your review and told my cousin, "Great, someone likes my plot. Now I have to think of one!" Haha, no, I'm totally just kidding. Thank you so much for your awesome compliments. They make me blush.. :-D I try really hard not to get too wrapped up in Jamie, although the story is mainly about her and Remus, obviously. Thank you so much for the great review and for reading as well!

**Ariella Lupin: **I love camping - I'm really jealous. I wanted to go camping this summer, but I was so busy I never did. I hope you had fun! Anyways, thanks for reading!

**radical-rebel:** Haha, I'm glad you liked it! I don't know if you noticed, but I try to find a good quote for each chapter and put it as the summary..I think it works well. Anyways, I hope you feel better soon..being sick during the summer is never good. Thanks for reading!

**dolly: **That happens to me all of the time! I hope this one came soon enough, haha.. Thanks for reading!

**tennisjock: **Haha, yeah..I've realized I do that too much. I try really hard to make it tasteful and nothing surpassing the T rating, which I think I succeed at. Like I told Nicoley117, though, I think a lot of it has to do with me remembering what it's like to be 17 and in a relationship like Remus and Jamie have..and how physical it could be. Once they get hitched it'll diminish, heh. Thanks for reading!


	19. The Brilliant Dance

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "The Brilliant Dance" is by Dashboard Confessional and I do not, in any way, own it._

**  
Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Nineteen: The Brilliant Dance**

_So this is strange  
Our sidestepping has come to be  
A brilliant dance where nobody leads at all  
Where nobody leads at all_

"Oy, Moony!"

Remus grimaced, knowing what was going to happen next. It was March 10th and, no matter how many times he may have insisted to his friends, they had to make a big deal out of his date of birth.

"Yes, Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking up with a less than excited expression on his face.

"Why are you doing homework on your birthday?" Sirius asked, snatching up his papers from the table he was sitting at in the common room and stashing them in his bag. "No more of this nonsense."

"That 'nonsense' was what you're going to end up copying for Defense Against the Dark Arts," Remus pointed out, making wild grabs toward Sirius's bag, who only moved away so he couldn't take it.

"He's right, Moony," James nodded from his place next to Sirius. "Not only is it your birthday, but it's Friday, we have no class tomorrow, no exams, no Quidditch, and no full moon for three weeks." He said the last part in a lowered voice.

"And what, pray tell, do you suggest we do?" Remus asked, giving up on getting his Defense essay back from Sirius.

Sirius and James exchanged a look before grinning at Remus. Remus groaned, not liking the expressions on his friends' faces.

"I believe a trip to Hogsmeade is in order," Sirius nodded, grabbing Remus's arm and pulling him to his feet. "I'll get Charlie and Prongs will go tell Jaclyn to fetch the girls."

"Why don't you go talk to Jaclyn?" James asked innocently, warranting an exasperated look from Sirius. "What?"

"Just do it," Sirius ordered, turning to Remus. "Now, get out of those robes and that damn uniform. Honestly, how you manage to wear it all day and not change as soon as you're done with classes is beyond me."

"I guess I don't really notice - "

"Did I say give me an answer?" Sirius bossed. "No, now, go change."

"Fine," Remus replied, giving Sirius a very contemptuous look.

"And tell Wormtail that he's coming, too," Sirius added before he took off toward the portrait hole. "Lord knows he's been moping about Lauren for too long."

* * *

Jamie leaned over the sink, her hands gripping the gorgeous marble counter, not allowing herself to look at herself in the large sink hanging on the wall before her. She swallowed hard, watching as her tears silently fell, splashing down into the silver sink, and slowly making their way into the drain. 

Still not bearing to look at herself, Jamie reached into the pocket of her robes and casually flicked her wand to lift the charm she had put on the doors so no one would be able to enter. Sighing hard, she screwed her eyes up, willing the rest of her tears to leave.

"Jamie?"

She jumped, turning to see Maureen Ystad, a sixth year, giving her a very concerned and questioning look as she allowed the door to shut behind her that lead to her dormitory. She took a few slow steps toward Jamie and, after hesitating a moment, but a hand on her shoulder, despite that she was making every effort not to meet Maureen's eye.

"Are you all right?"

Jamie opened her mouth to say, "Yes, quite fine, actually," but, instead, admitted, "No, not at all, Maureen."

"Can I do anything?" Jamie had tutored Maureen in Charms when she had been preparing for her OWL exams during her fifth year and had become rather good friends because of it, but hadn't talked quite as much since.

"I'm afraid not," Jamie said grimly, swallowing hard. "I've gotten myself into quite a predicament."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maureen asked, but before Jamie could answer, Lauren, who burst through the door, interrupted them.

"C'mon, Jamie, we're all going to celebrate your hubby-to-be's birthday," she announced, then stopped in her tracks at the sight of Jamie and Maureen. She was visibly surprised and was instantly uncomfortable by the situation in a whole - emotions weren't Lauren's strong point. "Uh, er, am I interrupting?"

"No, it's fine," Jamie assured. "I'll be there in a moment."

"Okay, we'll wait for you," Lauren breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be taken off the hook.

After a moment, Jamie turned to Maureen. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she forced a smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Well, if you ever need anything, I'm just next door," Maureen jerked her head toward her dormitory.

"Thanks," Jamie nodded, then pushed her way into the dormitory she shared with Lily, Jaclyn, and Lauren.

Once she was inside, it was obvious that Lauren had told her dormmates that she had been crying in the bathroom because there was an uncomfortable tension hanging in the air. Jamie forced her friends what she hoped to be a very happy grin.

"So, are we all getting quite smashed tonight?"

"Maybe we can get even Jaclyn to order something other than gillywater," Lauren joked, causing the tension to dissipate near instantly.

"Oh, shut it," Jaclyn rolled her eyes. "Just because I don't need to be drunk to have fun - "

"You know, it's better to just do it once and get it all over with," Lily smiled, her eyes dancing through the mirror at Jaclyn across the room. "And you'd be with friends."

As Jamie's friends continued to joke around about Jaclyn not drinking any alcohol, she was thankful that they didn't notice that she wasn't contributing to the conversation. As she quickly changed out of her school uniform and into a light green, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, she mulled over her current situation in her mind.

'I have to tell Remus,' she thought to herself, straightening up and looking at her in the full-length mirror that hung between her and Lily's beds. She swallowed hard as she looked herself up and down, then was forced out of her thoughts by Jaclyn.

"Okay, fine!" she was saying loudly. "I'll have one drink tonight, just to shut you lot up. Come on, Jamie, they're waiting downstairs."

"Sorry," Jamie apologized, pulling on her cloak and grabbing her hat, mittens, and scarf off her bed. Noticing that her Charms encyclopedia was still open to 'P,' she quickly shut it and walked toward the door, where Lily was waiting for her.

"Everything all right?" Lily asked, seeing through her air of aloofness.

"I'm just a bit tired," Jamie admitted, glad that she didn't have to completely lie, as she was exhausted.

"Okay," Lily said, quite unconvinced and following Jamie out the door and down the flight of stairs to the common room.

"About time," Sirius greeted them grumpily.

"Is Charlie coming?" Jamie asked, pulling on her mittens.

"No," Sirius replied, his grumpiness explained. "Hufflepuff is playing Slytherin tomorrow and they're having a late practice."

"Pity," Jaclyn replied smartly. "Shall we go?"

* * *

"…Happy birthday to you!" 

Everyone began laughing as they tried to make chords, but as they had been singing in different keys as it was, failed miserably. Madam Rosmerta clapped generously from the counter, a smile playing on her lips.

"Make a wish!" Peter ordered Remus, eyeing the chocolate cake that Madam Rosmerta had whipped up in celebration of Remus's birthday.

Remus scrunched up his face, humoring his friends, before ceremoniously blowing out the eighteen candles that littered the top of the cake. His friends began to hoot, holler, and applaud on cue, then began to attack the cake, not bothering to cut it.

"We should have birthdays more often," Sirius said through a mouthful of cake, holding up his mug to Rosmerta, who hurried over to fill it for him…again.

"I'm going to go check on Jaclyn," Lily got to her feet, staggering slightly.

"I'm going to go make sure Lily doesn't get lost," Lauren excused herself, following Lily to the bathroom.

"I can't believe Jaclyn drank all that firewhiskey," James laughed loudly, his own firewhiskey beginning to take hold. "And, honestly, Jamie, what's with the pumpkin juice?"

"No kidding," Sirius agreed, his words slurring quite a bit. "You drink like a fish more than Prongs does."

"Shut it," James retorted, elbowing Sirius in the side.

"Leave her be," Remus spoke up on Jamie's behalf, putting an arm around Jamie's shoulder. "Someone has to make sure that we all make it back to the school in one piece." He then proceeded to finish his drink, so he took Lily's half-full one.

"I'm not feeling up to par," Jamie explained, swirling her finger at the top of her cup. "Besides, Remus is right - wouldn't want you lot to end up in the next village over."

"I suppose," James nodded.

"I'm going to go check on the other girls," Peter announced suddenly, stumbling to his feet and hurrying toward the bathrooms.

"One Galleon says that he'll end up snogging Lauren tonight," James said suddenly, watching Peter retreat.

"You're on," Sirius agreed, shaking James's hand hard.

After a few moments, Lily and Jaclyn, who was looking a bit green, but finished her glass nonetheless, sat down.

"Lauren and Peter are snogging," Lily announced, an amused expression on her face.

"Bad luck, mate," James grinned at Sirius, holding his hand out as Sirius fished a Galleon from his pocket.

"I need some air," Jaclyn announced suddenly. "Anyone want to join me?"

"I will," Sirius agreed to everyone's great surprise. Jaclyn, however, seemed not to notice and nodded, leading Sirius out of the pub.

Once outside, Jaclyn and Sirius walked a few yards away from the pub before sitting down on a bench. As soon as they sat, it seemed that they realized who they were sitting with, the tension rising slightly, despite their current state of mind.

"This is probably the last snow this year," Sirius noted. It was snowing lightly despite that the temperature had began to rise as the year marched forward.

"I suppose," Jaclyn nodded, swallowing hard. She rubbed her upper arms furiously, more as a way to take her mind off the situation than to warm herself up.

After a moment of silence, both began to talk at once, causing them to chuckle. "Go ahead," Sirius nodded to Jaclyn.

"I want to apologize for how I've been acting," Jaclyn said quickly, making her words harder to understand than normal, as they were slurring horribly. "Remind me I said that, by the way, in case I don't remember in the morning."

"I'm sorry, too," Sirius admitted, turning to face Jaclyn. "I shouldn't have punched Gideon - "

"Oh, please, Sirius," Jaclyn interrupted. "Had you not I wouldn't have known what a sleaze he could be. He's a nice person and all, but I don't need someone that's only going to use me. If anything, I owe you a thank you."

"Well, you're welcome, in that case," Sirius smirked.

They fell silent again, the tension still there. Jaclyn cleared her throat uncomfortably, then opened her mouth to talk. Before she could say anything, though, Sirius stopped her by turning sharply toward her and putting a hand on her cheek. Quite taken off guard, her eyes widened and before she knew what was happening, his face was lowering toward hers and they were kissing.

Without hesitation, Jaclyn put a hand in Sirius's hair, deepening the kiss. One of Sirius's hands lowered to her waist, where he pulled her closer to him. He brought his other to gingerly touch her neck, which made her gasp as it was cold from the snow it had been resting in.

This gasp seemed to sober Sirius quickly, causing his eyes to burst open. Realizing what was happening, he straightened up and jumped to his feet, a hand instantly going to his hair, his eyes darting about.

"Oh, shit," Sirius exclaimed, beginning to pace in front of the bench. "Hell, bloody hell - what am I doing?"

"You were kissing me," Jaclyn replied in a dull voice, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I have a girlfriend!" Sirius exclaimed, doing an about face to look at Jaclyn. "And you're not her!"

"Plainly," Jaclyn pursed her lips. "Forget about it. I won't tell anyone."

Jaclyn got to her feet, quite annoyed, leaving Sirius behind as she breezed back to the pub, planning to drink her annoyance away if it was the last thing she'd do.

* * *

"I'm sorry, love," Jamie yawned, helping Remus clumsily put his pyjamas on. "I'd love to - " 

"Isalight," Remus managed, falling back into his bed.

"Oh, Remus," Jamie sighed, quite amused as he crawled underneath his bedspread. "You make me so happy, you know that?"

"Uh huh," Remus nodded, his eyes fluttering shut.

Jamie watched Remus as he began to drift to sleep, his face flushed from the amount of alcohol he consumed. She brought a hand to his head and pushed his hair out of his face. She traced one of the scars down his face lightly and he screwed up his face. Not wanting to disturb him longer, she leaned down, kissed his forehead, and left him to sleep.

Once down in the near empty common room, she noticed that the girls had already retired to their dormitory, leaving a very happy looking Peter and a more than grumpy Sirius, although he wouldn't tell anyone what was going on - even James.

Upon noticing Jamie, Sirius announced, "Good night."

"I'll come with you," Peter nodded, giving Jamie and James a wide grin before following Sirius up to their dormitory.

"I should - " Jamie began, starting toward the girls' dormitory.

"Don't even think about it," James stopped her, much more sober than Jamie had thought.

"What?" Jamie asked, swallowing hard as James took off his cloak, leaving a sweatshirt and jeans.

"You know what," James rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and giving Jamie an appraising look. "Something is wrong and you're going to tell me."

"Nothing is wrong, James," Jamie lied, giving him a very irritated look and started toward the door again.

"Damn it, Jamie!" James raised his voice at his cousin, causing Jamie to freeze. Never, in her eighteen years of life, had she known James to talk to her like that. "Honestly, do you even know who you're trying to fool?"

Jamie took a deep breath and slowly turned toward James. "Please, James, not - "

"We have known each other our entire lives," James lowered his voice, softening the look on his face. "You may be able to fool Remus, Lily, and Jaclyn, but I'm a completely different story."

Jamie's eyes began to fill with tears and she valiantly tried to hide the surge of emotion from him. James hurried to Jamie's side, helping her take off her cloak and throwing it on the chair next to them. He led her to one of the sofas and gave her a pleading look.

"Jamie, please," James said quietly, trying to look her in the eye. "I want to help you."

"There's nothing you can do," Jamie replied, looking away uncomfortably.

"I'm James Potter - I can do anything," he joked, trying to make her smile. When she didn't, he rubbed her upper arm softly, waiting for her to come to him.

"I - I," Jamie stammered, closing her eyes so as to not have to meet James's. "I don't know how it happened. It shouldn't have happened. We were so careful. I mean, there are so many tests that have proven otherwise and - and - damn it."

"What are you talking about?" James cocked an eyebrow, clearly confused. "Tests, like…Potions tests? Are you just stressed about your NEWTs?"

"No," Jamie shook her head, a small smile on her lips for a fleeting second before she swallowed hard and brought her eyes to his. "I'm so scared, James."

"You're scaring me," James admitted, withdrawing his hand and wringing it with his other in his lap. "Are you sick?"

"I wish," Jamie snorted, looking at the scarlet rug in front of them.

"Then what's going on?" James insisted, shaking Jamie slightly so she turned to him.

"James, I'm pregnant," Jamie burst, then brought a hand to her mouth as though surprised that those words came out of her own mouth.

James's eyes opened in surprise and his jaw dropped. "Merlin - what?"

"Don't make me say it again," Jamie whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as though trying to protect herself from the outside world.

"How did that happen?" James asked, his eyes still wide. "Wait - no - don't answer that."

"Thanks for the support, James," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's just kind of shocking."

"Shocking for you?" Jamie asked, giving him an incredulous look. "How do you think I feel?"

"Are you sure you're - you're - you know," James asked, lowering his voice even though they were quite alone in the common room.

Jamie nodded numbly. "I did the charm to find out just before we went to Hogsmeade."

"Oh. And you're sure it's Remus's?"

"No, James, I think it's yours," Jamie replied sarcastically. "What do you think?"

"Have you told him yet?" James asked.

"Not on his birthday," Jamie shook her head. "I've been suspecting for a while now, but I didn't want him to get mad or worry or anything of the sort."

"I think you're looking at this the wrong way," James put an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm again to comfort her. "Think about it - you and Remus are getting married in September - "

"Great, I'll look like a giant pumpkin on my wedding day," Jamie interjected bitterly.

" - and you both wanted a big family," James continued as though she hadn't said anything. "You're just getting your wish a little earlier on than you'd have hoped."

"James, getting married at eighteen is one thing," Jamie sighed, rubbing her temples. "But having children? That's a whole other Quidditch pitch."

"Things will work out," James comforted her, pulling her close to him. "Do you want to keep the baby?"

"Absolutely," Jamie replied firmly, nodding. "I'm sure Remus will feel the same way. Oh, James, I'm absolutely terrified to tell him."

"Jamie, Moony is quite level-headed," James pointed out, trying to ease her worry. "It isn't as though he's going to put the blame on you or anything as daft as that. He takes responsibility for his actions."

"I know," Jamie admitted, sighing heavily. "It just kills me, you know? For two years we didn't have to worry about this sort of thing and then… It's frustrating."

"It could be worse," James shrugged, an amused expression on his face. "You could be having puppies."

Jamie let out a laugh, shaking her head at James. "I'm really hoping that's not the case."

"That could be quite awkward," James mused, staring off into space. "Is it going to be covered with fur?"

"James, you can shut up any moment now," Jamie pushed him with her elbow.

"Or maybe it'll just have a tail?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Maybe it'll have a real good sense of smell."

"Goodnight, James."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** So, who guessed right? I'm sure y'all did, since you're all such smart people, right:-) This chapter basically just rolled right out of my fingers, hence why it took, like, zero time to get done. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!_

_Oh..and regarding Sirius and Jaclyn..keep those rotten vegetables to yourself. I'll just deflect them with my..charm?_

* * *

** LandUnderWave:** It's because they think they know what's best for us. Sadly, though, they're right. Oy. Anyways, thanks for reading! 

**RockStar Lover: **I'm pretty sure you were right, right? Thanks for reading!

**Ariella Lupin:** Well, actually, I'm in Wisconsin, so you couldn't get much closer to Canada from where I am. Well, unless you lived on the border of, like, North Dakota or somewhere like that. But, your trip sounded like a crazy time! And I probably shouldn't share this on the interweb, but that's okay. Once, a long time ago, a friend of mine said I could sit in the front seat of our other friend's car if I licked the window on the passenger door from the upper left hand corner to the bottom right hand corner. Well..I did..and it was nasty, because it was winter and if you know anything about Wisconsin winters, we have to use salt on the roads. I shudder still thinking about that. :-) Anyways, thanks for reading!

**Nicoley117:** Definitely American, not to worry.. That's probably why I fail so miserably trying to make my character sound British. Sigh. It could be worse. Anyways, I love long reviews. They definitely make me happy - like having a Happy Meal:-D Thanks for reading!

**An Aspiring Author:** I'm glad you like it! I hope this was soon enough, haha. Thanks for reading!

**dolly: **Your review definitely made me laugh - that's where I got the song from! I looove Degrassi..even at 19-years-old. :-) Thanks for reading!

**Asterisk Truly:** I'm glad you think it's funny - I try really hard not to make it all angsty and have some humor in it. :-) Thanks for reading!


	20. The Difference

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "The Difference" is by Matchbox 20 and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty: The Difference**

_And for all you know this could be  
The difference between what you need  
And what you wanna be_

"I'm going to tell him today," Jamie said to her reflection, a stern look on her face. "Today is different than the last eight because I'm actually going to tell him."

Jamie swallowed hard, her eyes flitting about as she looked at herself in the long mirror. She pushed her hair behind her right ear and looked down to where her other hand was resting upon the small bulge that was her - no, her and Remus's baby. She brought her right hand down on top of the left and intertwined her fingers.

"I will tell him," Jamie continued her pep talk, almost convincing herself this time.

"Tell who what?"

Jamie jumped almost comically before turning to see Jaclyn lingering in the doorway of their dormitory. She had an almost apologetic look on her face before she hurried in to fetch her bag.

"Sorry, I forgot my books," Jaclyn explained, shouldering her bag. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Jamie lied for what felt like the thousandth time in a few weeks. "I'll be down in just a few minutes."

"Good," Jaclyn nodded, retreating for the door. "James won't stop asking why you haven't come down yet. Did you two get into some sort of row and not tell anyone?"

"I don't think James and I have the capability to row," Jamie admitted, shaking her head. "He's just being a prat."

"No surprise there," Jaclyn flashed Jamie a grin. "See you."

"Yeah," Jamie sighed, although the door had already swung shut. Jamie met her own eyes in the mirror once more. "I have to do this."

* * *

_"March 18, 1978.  
_

_"Well, it's official. I'm worried now. On the one hand I'm quite pleased that Jamie is so terrible at keeping things from me - I don't have to worry about not finding things out. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind being in the dark so much if I didn't know I was in the dark. I've never quite understood why she's tried to keep things from me in the past. I just hope it isn't too horrible - like she's dying or something to that effect. No, I'm sure it isn't that tragic. I know James knows, so he would've clued me in if it were life altering._

_"I know, I know - why don't I just come out and ask her? I think Jamie enjoys thinking she's a superb actress and continually gets things past me. Who am I to take that joy away from her? I know it's daft logic, but she's suffering and I don't want her to feel as though she needs to tell me. It does worry me, though, that she's so reluctant to enlighten me._

_"I should just say something. Knowing Jamie, she'll pretend nothing is going on until the last minute and by then I'll be in St. Mungo's for going absolutely bonkers. I could - "_

"Moony, will you stop writing in that ruddy diary?" Sirius interrupted Remus's thoughts, walking into their dormitory with a towel cinched around his waist.

"It's not a diary," Remus stuck up for himself, but closing it nonetheless. "It's a journal."

"It's been a diary since you had the one with the lock on it," Sirius countered, grinning at himself in the mirror before messing his hair up so it sprayed water around the room.

"That was in the second year and my mum had bought it for me."

"Doesn't mean you had to use it," Sirius shrugged, putting some hair gel in his hands and styling his hair.

"You take a terribly long time getting ready everyday," Remus tried to change the subject as he played with the edges of the cover of his journal.

"There's a difference between being a namby-pamby person who writes in a diary and a ruggedly masculine person who wants to give everyone something nice to look at," Sirius retorted, checking out his hair in the mirror.

"Hey, Padfoot, have you told Charlie about swapping spit with Jaclyn yet?" Remus cheeked, smirking as the blood left Sirius's face.

"Sod off, Moony," Sirius muttered, glaring at him through his reflection in the mirror. "I don't even think Jaclyn remembers."

"You know, for as many girls you've dated you'd think that you would've picked up at least a little bit on the things that matter most to them."

"And you're an expert, I suppose?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus snorted. "Yeah, right, like I have any idea as to what's going through Jamie's head. Even now she's keeping things from me and I haven't a clue what it is."

"Why don't you talk to her?" Sirius asked, walking to his dresser and picking out his clothes.

"I will," Remus shrugged. "When she decides she wants to divulge what's going on."

"I bet James knows," Sirius taunted, shooting his friend a cocky grin as he began to dress.

"I know he knows," Remus groaned in frustration, falling back into his bed and staring at the top of his canopy. "I'd love it if she'd talk to me about these things rather than James."

"Well, they've been there for each other since they were in nappies," Sirius pointed out, pulling on his pants.

"I know," Remus screwed his eyes shut, bringing one of his hands to his forehead. "But he isn't marrying her - I am."

"Which brings us back to the fact that you should talk to her," Sirius shrugged, rubbing a spot on his hipbone where there was a deep purple bruise.

Just then, there was a knock on the door and it slowly opened up, showing Jamie's peaked face, complete with dark bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.

"Hi," she said simply, sliding into the room and letting the door shut behind her.

"Bloody hell, Jamie, I was naked maybe three minutes ago," Sirius scolded her, taking his sweater indignantly and pulling it over his head.

"I've seen you naked before, Sirius," Jamie replied dully, looking at Remus who was still lying back with his journal open on his chest. "I wasn't impressed."

Upon hearing this, Remus let out a snort of a laugh and lowered his journal a couple of inches to make eye contact with Jamie.

"Shut your face," Sirius replied, making a face at Jamie. "I'm going to go downstairs where people appreciate my humor."

"You might have to go farther than the common room then, mate," Remus grinned to Sirius, who left the room without another word. Once the door was shut, he asked Jamie, "Do you think we all give him too hard of a time?"

"Nothing he can't handle," Jamie kicked off her shoes before she crawled next to him on his bed. "What's that?"

"What? Oh, it's my journal," Remus shrugged, closing the small notebook. "I have a bunch but I've been using this one since fifth year, when I learned a charm so the paper won't ever run out."

"That must save money on journals," Jamie said conversationally. "I didn't know you kept a journal."

"I have since my mum sent me one for Christmas when I was twelve," Remus nodded.

"Will you read me something?"

"Uh, sure," Remus agreed uncomfortably. "What do you want to hear?"

"I don't care," Jamie answered, finding her spot next to him. She trailed one of her fingers down his sweater, feeling the wool. "Anything."

"Uh, all right," Remus replied, flipping the journal open to the front, then clearing his throat. "_'September 29th, 1975,'_" he began, then turned to look at Jamie. "Are you sure you want me to read this?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Jamie said, her eyes closed.

"_'September 29th, 1975,'_" Remus began again, allowing himself to put an arm around Jamie and stroking her long hair slowly. "_'I'm not terribly sure how it worked out, but I've become really close to Jamie these past few weeks. Sirius cheated on her a couple times over the summer and even into the beginning of the school year - what a stupid blighter. I'm starting to think that I like her more than just as little Jamie Williams, James's cousin. She's grown up quite a bit these past few years and it hurts me more than I thought imaginable to see her cry over Sirius. I don't know what's going to happen with us, though.'_"

Remus flipped forward quite a few pages, then continued reading. "_'April 13th, 1977. James told me today that I need to tell Jamie soon about being a werewolf. I don't think I can. I know we've been together and that I will marry her someday (who knows when - I just know she's The One), but I know how frightened she is of werewolves…and I don't know what I'd do if she'd leave me over it. Then again, if I do end up marrying her, I'm sure she'll notice when I get all hairy and mean once a month.'_" Remus let out a laugh. "It always makes me laugh when I look back on older entries."

Suddenly, Jamie sat up and gave Remus such a serious look that he nearly ran from the room. After a fleeting moment, Jamie swallowed hard, then broke their eye contact.

"Remus, do you remember how you felt when you were thinking about telling me you're a werewolf?" Jamie asked quietly, then bit her bottom lip.

"Vividly," Remus nodded, nearly doing a back flip when he realized that she was finally going to tell him what was going on.

"I'm pretty sure that's how I feel right now," Jamie continued, wringing her hands uncomfortably. "I've been meaning to tell you something pretty important for over a week now, but I haven't known how."

"You can tell me anything, you know that," Remus urged, taking one of Jamie's hands.

"I know, Remus," Jamie interjected, taking her hand back and blinking furiously. "Just - just promise me you won't be upset."

"Of course I won't be upset," Remus nodded. "Surprised, perhaps, but you know as well as I do that it's near impossible for me to become upset with you."

"This might be one of those exceptions," Jamie murmured, reaching forward and holding Remus's right hand and sandwiching it between her own.

"What's going on?" Remus asked, his voice urgent. "You're worrying me."

"Love, I'm - we - I," Jamie stammered, looking for the right words. "Oh, hell." She reached over for Remus's wand, which was lying on his bed. She pointed it at herself, ignored Remus's protests, and muttered, _"Revelaresecretus."_ Remus and Jamie both watched as a pale silver wisp of fog floated in the air just above Jamie's abdomen. After a few seconds, it began to clear and revealed a pale orange orb.

Remus squinted his eyes, lowering his head to get a better look. "That's a real neat charm and all but, er, I don't quite understand."

Jamie sighed impatiently, having been thoroughly convinced that Remus would have recognized the charm. To let off some steam, she waved her hand through the remnants of the charm so it began to scatter into the air.

"Apparently every mum is supposed to show her teenager daughter that one," Jamie began to explain, putting Remus's wand back onto his bed. "Naturally, my mum, being the prude she is, never would have expected me to need to know such a charm - not until I was at least 35, of course."

"Okay?" Remus cocked an eyebrow. "And?"

"Remus, that charm is meant to show if there is something physically hidden within something," Jamie continued, intertwining her fingers with his. "If the orb glows green, the person is fine. If it glows orange it means that there is something hidden."

"'Physically hidden'?" Remus asked, looking confused. "Why haven't I heard - "

"It used to be used more commonly in the years past," Jamie interrupted, "but people began to find that there are ways to trick the charm. Now, however, it's basically only used to test for pregnancies."

"Pregnancies?" Remus's eyes widened, his jaw dropping. "And - and the orb was orange and that means…"

"Remus, we're going to have a baby," Jamie said quickly, meeting his eyes timidly.

Remus looked at Jamie, unable to break his gaze, as though he was expecting her to jump up and shout, "Surprise!" When she didn't, he blinked furiously, averting his gaze to their hands, which they were unconsciously playing with.

"You're - we're - "

"Yes," Jamie nodded when his voice trailed off.

"How?" Remus asked, not meeting her eyes just yet. "We were so careful - "

"Not as careful as we should have been, apparently," Jamie chuckled humorously. "I'm just guessing that it was that one time at Sirius's over Christmas."

"All this time?" Remus asked, looking up to her in disbelief as he furrowed his brow. "Have you known for three months?"

"I've had suspicions for the past month or so, but I didn't really want to believe it," Jamie admitted, looking away from him and flushing slightly. "I only just found out for certain last week."

"Does anyone else know?" Remus asked.

"Just James," Jamie flushed more, before quickly rattling off, "I know I should've told you straight away, but I was scared that you'd be upset and James just happened to be there and he pretty much forced me to tell him and I wanted - "

"Shhh," Remus interrupted, putting his hand over Jamie's mouth. "Stop talking."

"I'mph shorfy," Jamie replied, her voice muffled by Remus's fingers. She pulled his hand down by his wrist and entwined her fingers with his. "Are you upset?"

"Of course not!" Remus insisted, bringing their hands to his face so he could lightly kiss her fingertips. "I'm quite surprised and a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but we'll make this work, right?"

"We will?" Jamie asked quietly.

"Of course we will," Remus nodded, though he looked a bit scared at the same time. "I mean, it's not exactly going to be easy or anything, but we'll figure it out."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jamie flopped back into Remus's pillows. They exchanged a look before Remus laid down on his side, propping himself up with one arm. With his other, he slowly pushed up the bottom of Jamie's sweater, revealing her belly that, now that he knew her secret, looked a bit larger than normal. Remus gingerly ran his fingers across her bare skin, then allowed her to cover his hand with her own.

"I'm scared," Jamie sighed, rubbing her thumb against his own.

"Me, too," Remus admitted, meeting her eyes. "Have you told your mum and dad yet?"

Jamie shook her head slowly, a stricken look on her face. "D'you think they need to know?"

"Maybe," Remus smiled, not wanting to think about what his own mum was going to say to him. "It'll be all right, though."

"You know what?" Jamie asked, smiling warmly at him. "I think it will be, too."

* * *

Jaclyn swallowed hard, glancing down at the tattered piece of parchment that she held in her fingers. On it was written, _'Meet me in the Astronomy Tower tonight at 8,'_ and it didn't say whom it was from. She knew it was a bit dumb that she had gone, but she half hoped that it was "Orion," despite that the handwriting didn't match. She even let herself muse as to whether or not it was Sirius, but she had long before decided it couldn't be him because she would have recognized his loopy handwriting. 

Over the past week, Jaclyn had chosen to pretend that she had drunk too much to remember her apology and the kiss that they shared in Hogsmeade. While it was obvious he still remembered, he hadn't made any inclination to discuss it with her or tell Charlie, for that matter. Rather than cause more drama, Jaclyn had began to ignore Sirius's presence as she had been before Remus's birthday and act as though she wasn't terribly hurt by what had happened.

Jaclyn put the parchment back into her pocket of her robes and slowly walked in a circle as she looked around the Tower. The sun was still illuminating the room and casting long shadows, adding to the ambiance that was the Astronomy Tower.

After a few minutes, Jaclyn huffed loudly and glanced at her watch to see that it was nearly quarter past. She reached down, picked up her bag, and began to stride toward the entrance of the Tower. Just before she reached it, though, the door swung open and Mani Patil hurried in, almost knocking Jaclyn over.

"Jaclyn?" he asked, his eyes adjusting to the dimly lit room. "Sorry, Peeves held me up; otherwise I would've been on time."

Jaclyn blinked a few times, surprised that it was Mani for some reason, but pleased nonetheless. "It's all right. I got your note?"

"Yes," Mani shot her a roguish grin before leading her back into the heart of the Tower. He motioned for her to join him on a long couch that sat along one of the walls. "I wanted to talk to you."

"All right," Jaclyn nodded, dropping her bag and playing with her hair absentmindedly.

"Well, er, we've been getting to know each other an awful lot lately," Mani barreled forward, looking a bit uncomfortable. "It's been really wonderful, to be sure. I didn't know that we had so much in common before."

"Neither did I," Jaclyn admitted. In truth, she had only had her eye on Mani because of his good looks - but no one had to know that.

"And, well, I realize that we'll both be finishing up with Hogwarts soon and I had rather hoped that maybe, you know, we could, er, pursue a relationship," he continued, talking faster as he neared the end of the sentence. He looked at her sheepishly and Jaclyn had a suspicion that if it wasn't quite so dark in the room, she'd see that he was blushing furiously.

"Like, be boyfriend and girlfriend?" Jaclyn asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes," Mani nodded, biting his lip. "I mean, if you don't want to - "

"No, I'd love to," Jaclyn grinned, leaning forward and kissing him softly on the lips. "I'd been hoping you'd ask me for quite some time."

"Oh," Mani replied, his eyes wide as though he hadn't expected her to agree. "Well, great!"

They were silent for a few moments, then they both started to laugh. Before long, Mani cupped Jaclyn's face in his large hands and brought her face to his. As they began to kiss, Jaclyn's mind flashed back to kissing Sirius on the snowy bench outside of the Three Broomsticks, causing tears to rush to her eyes near automatically.

As Mani deepened the kiss, Jaclyn forced any thoughts of Sirius from her mind - anything from how great his hair had looked that morning to how much she loved the feel of his lips on her own - and focused on Mani, her boyfriend.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Thankfully, LandUnderWave bought me a Shield Hat, so I'm safe from any potential flying objects due to the ending of this chapter. Also, I apologize for how super short it was..I didn't really have a lot more to add. Pretty sure my cousin will complain, but she doesn't have a say anymore because she stopped reviewing. :-)_

_I think that it's going to speed up soon, mainly because I don't want to have any super boring chapters or anything of the like. So, hopefully y'all won't mind. Aaanyways, thanks for reading!_

**Asterisk Truly:** Haha, I'm glad you suspected right! Thanks for not throwing them..but not stopping is almost as bad! ;-) Thanks for reading!

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**LandUnderWave:** Thanks for reading (and the handy hat haha)! 

**RockStar Lover:** I was debating back and forth over who I wanted to be the second to know..and it just seemed like James was perfect. I mean, obviously Remus had to find out, but I think James would have given Jamie a lot of the strength she needed to tell Remus in the first place. Anyways, thanks for reading!

**Nicoley117:** I've only met one native-Wisconsinite (Wisconsinian?) that didn't like cheese..and everyone was quite shocked. Gotta love living in a state known for its dairy products and beer. Anyways, thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you thought it was spiffy. :-D

**Ariella Lupin: **Wisconsin has actually grown on me in the past year or so, but that's partially because I moved out of it for school and then came back. The only think really keeping me here, though, is my family and friends. Once I finish school I'm planning on moving to NYC or England..whichever one floats my boat at the time. :-) Anyways, I'm glad you loved the chapter and thanks for reading!

**dolly:** Oh, the drama is building! Thanks for reading!

**radical-rebel:** I absolutely looove Dashboard Confessional. I was really struggling to find a song for that chapter and then it hit me how perfect "The Brilliant Dance" fit. It's probably my favorite, too, up there with "Hands Down." Anyways, thanks a ton for reading and I'm glad you're enjoying it! And I also hope that you're well rested now:-)

**tresdrole:** I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!


	21. Will I?

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Will I?" is from the musical RENT and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-one: Will I?**

_Will I lose my dignity?  
Will someone care?  
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?_

As the days turned to weeks, it became harder for Jamie to hide their secret. Soon after she had told Remus, they had informed their friends about the baby. The reactions couldn't have been more predictable - Lily was excited; Jaclyn pretended to be, but had an unmistakable "I told you so" expression on her face for days after she found out; Lauren didn't even bother to hide her pessimism; whereas the boys nodded, patted Remus on the back, and preferred to pretend the news hadn't been dealt. Adults they were - but that didn't mean they were mature enough to be so.

April showers began to bring in May flowers and the seventh years were rarely seen outside of their common rooms or the library. The only time they talked to fellow students was when they needed help on a certain point or to copy some notes. There were NEWT study groups that met everywhere - from the Great Hall to open classrooms; there was even one that had tried to meet in an open spot in the hallway until Professor Flitwick made them move on.

It didn't take long for cabin fever to set in and, as a treat for not only the seventh years, but the fifth years as well, who were going to be taking their OWLs, the teachers agreed to an impromptu Hogsmeade weekend.

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Jamie complained to Lily during Transfiguration as she tried to turn a butterfly into a moth.

"Just that," Lily shrugged, flicking her wand and missing the butterfly, as it kept flying away from her. "Damn."

"Just stupefy it," Jamie said offhandedly.

"That's not the point of the lesson," Lily replied, concentrating and trying again. "It's about aim and focus."

"Whatever," Jamie waved her hand dismissively. "Anyways, as I was saying, why not?"

"James has detention with Slughorn so he can't go - "

"Oh, so my company isn't good enough?" Jamie interrupted, slightly put off.

" - and I need to study," Lily sighed and put her wand down. "Besides, you have Remus, Jaclyn has Patil, Lauren has Peter, and even Sirius has Charlie - I don't want to be the third wheel."

"Come on, Lily," Jamie rolled her eyes. "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"It is not!" Lily insisted, picking her wand up again and returning to her Monarch. "I don't want to feel awkward. You've had Remus for so long that you've probably forgotten how it feels."

"Besides," Jamie continued, ignoring Lily, "the point of the weekend is to get away from studying."

"I need to study," Lily said in a frustrated voice, furrowing her brow as she watched the butterfly. "I'm failing miserably at this, after all, so that just proves - "

"Well, that's because you keep talking to me," Jamie sighed, flicking her wand and turning her own butterfly to a moth instantly.

"How did you do that?" Lily asked, her expression one of near insanity. "I've been trying to do that this entire class and you do it on your first try!"

"See, maybe you do need a day off," Jamie shrugged, opening the small box that McGonagall had passed the butterflies out in. "You're losing your touch."

"Maybe you're right," Lily sighed, flicking her wand again and missing the butterfly by a centimetre.

"Of course I'm right," Jamie smirked as Lily finally succeeded in transfiguring her butterfly. "I'm always right."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that," Lily replied, catching the moth and pushing it into her box. She sat down, quite happy with herself and looked across the room. Jamie followed her gaze, seeing that she was watching James and Sirius, who were laughing at whatever Sirius had managed to transfigure his butterfly into.

"So, James got his Auror acceptance finally?" Jamie asked conversationally, absentmindedly bringing a protective hand to her ill-disguised growing belly.

Lily nodded, a proud smile playing on her lips. "He was among five that were accepted this year - including Sirius, of course."

"That's impressive," Jamie commented, already knowing as James had nearly tackled her when he had received the letter.

Lily only nodded again, letting the smile spread across her face. "I really love him, Jamie."

"I couldn't tell," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"No, see, you'd always tell me how much you loved Remus and all that lovey-dovey crap that made me sick to my stomach," Lily turned to face Jamie, crossing her arms. "But, well, I guess I finally know what you mean."

"Hypocrite," Jamie teased, looking back over to James and Sirius.

Sirius was preoccupied with a bite he had received from whatever it was he made out of the butterfly, but James was staring at Lily. When their eyes met, he sheepishly raised his right hand so his thumb, forefinger, and pinkie were sticking out. Lily grinned and returned the gesture before Sirius knocked James over with his hand, which was turning blue and beginning to grow in size.

"I'd like to marry him someday, I think," Lily mused, turning back to Jamie again, a questioning look on her face. "You know?"

"No idea," Jamie smiled, as the bell rang.

Before Jamie even had gotten to her feet, Sirius was running out of the room to, she figured, the nearby hospital wing. Lily and James beckoned her goodbye as they hurried to their next class. Not in any hurry, Jamie was soon the last person in the classroom.

"Miss Williams, may I have a word?"

Jamie jumped, surprised to hear McGonagall addressing her. Not wanting to upset her Head of House, she nodded, shouldering her bag and bringing her box to the front of the classroom to set on McGonagall's desk.

"Yes, Professor?"

McGonagall set down her quill that she was using to correct essays and looked up at Jamie over her bifocals. She gave her an appraising look before saying, "I have a few concerns I'd like to discuss with you."

"What?" Jamie asked, panicking. "Am I failing?"

"No, not at all," McGonagall shook her head, a smile pulling at the corners of her thin lips. "In fact, you're one of the top students in my NEWT class."

"No kidding?" Jamie asked, surprised. "And to think I used to just slide by before."

McGonagall looked amused, but pushed further. "What I am concerned about, however, is your attendance record as of the past few months."

"Oh, well," Jamie's face flushed. "I haven't been feeling very well and - "

"Normally I'd warrant detentions if a student missed more than two days in a short period, but Miss Evans and Mr. Potter have spoken up on your behalf as to just how sick you have been," Professor McGonagall continued, folding her hands on top of her pile of essays. "Also, as I said, you've been doing exceedingly well, despite your absences."

Jamie was speechless. She wasn't entirely sure as to what the professor wanted her to say. After a few silent moments, she managed, "Well, is that all?"

"I'm afraid not," Professor McGonagall shook her head and glanced at Jamie's left hand. "You and Mr. Lupin will be wed in a few months, correct?"

"September 9th," Jamie supplied, raising an eyebrow. Did she want an invitation?

"Yes, well, the two of you are obviously quite serious then," the professor nodded, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. "Well, as your Head of House, I'm only wondering if perhaps you should see Madam Pomfrey."

Jamie's jaw dropped. "What?" She lowered her voice as though the room was filled with her peers. "Who told you?" She thought about how hard she was going to have to hit one of her friends as anger flooded through her.

"Miss Williams, you need to realize that it is human nature to want to spread lies about our enemies," Professor McGonagall said sternly. "Sometimes those lies may have more truth to them than you would think."

Jamie swallowed hard. "I'm fine."

"Are you - "

"I'm fine!" Jamie insisted. "I apologize, but I'm late for a study group."

Professor McGonagall saw through her lie easily, but nodded nonetheless. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

Jamie gave a sharp nod before hurrying out of the room. Anger was still surging through her body, her green eyes flashing angrily as she stormed down the hallway, nearly taking out two third years.

"Hey, Jamie!" Sirius greeted Jamie, coming out of the hospital wing, his hand back to normal, and trying to catch up with her. "Hold on!"

Jamie ignored him, her eyes dead set on a solitary blonde head in front of her, clad with the green and silver Slytherin uniform. Once she reached Narcissa, she put a hand on her shoulder, whirled her around and pushed her up against the stone wall. Jamie ignored Sirius's shouted protests down the hallway and hardly registered that they were the only three people in the area.

"Get your hands off of me, Williams," Narcissa spat, her pale grey eyes narrowed to angry slits as Jamie brought her wand up to her forehead. Narcissa eyes looked frightened as she glanced down to her bag that had slipped off her shoulder when Jamie pushed her.

"No wand, Black?" Jamie asked, her voice venomous as Sirius's footsteps grew louder. "That's too bad."

"What the bloody hell is your problem," Narcissa swore, struggling to break free of Jamie's grip.

"I think you know," Jamie managed, the tip of her wand setting off red sparks and making Narcissa jump.

"I'm afraid I don't," Narcissa replied, glancing from Jamie's face to her wand and back again. "Care to indulge me?"

"Why are you telling people I'm pregnant?"

Narcissa let out a tinkling laugh. "Are you trying to tell me that you aren't? You and your half-breed of a boyfriend sure have a lot of secrets, don't you?"

Jamie pushed her wand forward so it pressed hard against Narcissa's pale skin. "You really need to stop your filthy lying, Narcissa."

"Nothing I say is a lie!" Narcissa raised her voice. "In fact, I think it's my duty to show the rest of Hogwarts what kind of filth lies in the Gryffindor House - among Dumbledore's favourites!"

Finally, Sirius skidded to a stop behind Jamie and put a hand on her shoulder. "Let her go, Jamie. This smut isn't worth your time."

"Who are you calling smut, Sirius?" Narcissa accused, her eyes narrowing even further. "You and your lewd group of Mudbloods and blood traitors - "

"How dare you even - " Jamie started, raising her wand, which was sending out sparks again.

"Jamie, NO!" Sirius shouted, pulling back her wand hand as a blue stream left the end, hitting the ceiling and allowing some small pieces of stone to crack off and fall to the floor next to them.

Narcissa seized the moment and pushed herself out of Jamie's grasp. She quickly bent over and took her bag, clutching it to her chest.

"Be sure to invite me to the shower, Williams," Narcissa said, then spat on the ground where Sirius had an arm wrapped around Jamie's waist and the other taking control of her wand hand.

Jamie shouted after Narcissa's retreating back, not calming down until she had turned down another hallway. Eventually, Jamie slumped against Sirius's chest and her breathing began to slow, the anger flooding out of her. She allowed Sirius to wrap his arms around her and gently pull his fingers through her hair.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked after a couple of moments.

"Yes," Jamie sighed, screwing her eyes shut and then opening them. "Well, no, I'm not, but I'm better than I was a few moments ago."

"So, if I let go of you you're not going to run after my dreadful cousin and hex the life out of her?" Sirius asked, unconsciously tightening his grip around her.

"Not anymore today," Jamie agreed, trying to pull away from him. "But I can't guarantee tomorrow."

"Let me know ahead of time and maybe I'll help," Sirius joked, allowing her out of his grasp. "What happened?"

"It's not important," Jamie muttered, fixing her robes and straightening her bag.

Sirius smirked at her before beckoning her to follow him into an empty classroom across the hall. "It sure seemed important when you nearly had your wand in Narcissa's eye."

Jamie glanced around the classroom, then asked, "You know, they have all of these extra classrooms that never get used."

"You're dodging the subject," Sirius said, hopping onto the top of one of the desks that littered the room.

"Why should I tell you?" Jamie asked, glancing behind her at the open door.

"Because I'm wonderful like that," Sirius shrugged. "Besides, if I hadn't saved the day - "

"Excuse me, she was wandless and at my mercy," Jamie cocked an eyebrow, but sitting on a desktop next to Sirius.

"She might have bit you," Sirius pointed out. "That could've been nasty."

"Oh, my hero," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"And once again you're dodging the subject," Sirius replied, setting his bag down. "I have all day, you know. I'm done with classes and know how to transfigure quills into Yorkshire pudding."

"Just quills?"

"Stop dodging the subject! Why were you trying to attack my cousin?"

Jamie swallowed hard and made an effort not to meet Sirius's eyes. "McGonagall stopped me after class and pretty much came out and asked me if I was pregnant and if I've seen Madam Pomfrey yet."

"No kidding?" Sirius asked, taking a sharp intake of breath. "That's no good."

"You think?" Jamie asked, giving Sirius an amused look. "Anyways, who else would give a care as to me being pregnant than Narcissa?"

"This is a good point," Sirius nodded. "So, you attacked her because…"

"She's telling people I'm pregnant!" Jamie exclaimed.

"But you are pregnant," Sirius pointed out.

"Oh, really, Sirius? I hadn't noticed," Jamie replied humorously.

"Okay, okay. I'm just curious, but have you seen Madam Pomfrey yet?"

Jamie flushed a little then said sheepishly, "No - do you think I ought to?"

"I know about as much about pregnancies as you do," Sirius snorted. "I wasn't old enough when my mum had Regulus to even remember. However, I'm pretty sure you need to go and make sure you and the baby are both okay."

"I suppose," Jamie sighed. "I haven't even told my mum and dad yet."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes - they're going to have my head on a platter when they find out."

"Maybe they won't notice?"

Jamie laughed. "That's what I was hoping but Remus seems to think it'd be a good idea to let them know before they're invited to the baby's first birthday."

"Well, that gives you just over a year, right?" Sirius joked.

"I really wish that were the case," Jamie admitted, rubbing her forehead with the palm of her left hand.

"It'll be fine," Sirius promised her, reaching over and putting his hand on top of her right. "Besides, you have all of us backing you up."

"That's actually quite reassuring," Jamie smiled at him.

"Of course it is," Sirius jumped down from the desk. "Now, come here."

Jamie gave a small chuckle before allowing him to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. When Sirius tried to pull away, Jamie pulled him closer. Surprised, Sirius returned the hug and gingerly ran a hand down her bag comfortingly.

"What's going on here?" Remus burst in.

After the two pulled apart, Sirius recognized the Marauder's Map in Remus's right hand and gasped, "Moony, you have that in plain sight?"

"I cleared it before I left the dormitory," Remus replied shortly, causing Sirius and Jamie to realize how upset he was.

"Is something wrong?" Jamie asked, not fully understanding.

"Well, I received a letter from my mum," Remus explained brusquely, pulling an envelope out of his robe's pocket. "I grabbed the Map looking for you because I figured you would want to read it with me since I am sure it is about our news. I saw you and Sirius in this classroom and hurried down to fetch you and then burst in on this scene!"

"You're not using contractions," Jamie noticed, grimacing. "You're really upset."

"Uh, Moony, I was only hugging her," Sirius spoke up uncomfortably. "I wasn't going to go and shag her or anything."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked angrily.

"Remus Lupin!" Jamie gasped, taking a step back. "Sirius, you should go. I'm going to have a word with my fiancée."

Sirius turned to face Jamie, muttering under his breath. "He's only overreacting because the full moon's in just a week."

"I can hear you," Remus said heatedly.

"Then you'll realize how daft you're being!" Jamie replied, pushing Sirius out of the room. "Thank you for listening, Sirius."

"You're welcome," Sirius nodded. "Make sure you go to Pomfrey, all right?"

"We'll see," Jamie smiled, jerking Remus into the room and slamming the door shut. "I was hugging him!"

"You have to understand how I saw it," Remus swallowed, finally realizing how his own actions looked.

"Remus, if I broke in on you hugging Lily, d'you honestly think I'd scream like you did?" Jamie asked, crossing her arms.

"Maybe?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"All right," Remus resigned, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry?"

"Yes, you ought to be sorry," Jamie glared. "I can't believe you!"

"What were you two talking about anyway?"

"It's a long story," Jamie waved her hand carelessly. "I nearly killed Narcissa - "

Remus groaned. "Jamie, we talked about that."

"She wasn't talking about you, though!" Jamie interrupted. "Apparently McGonagall heard through word of mouth that I'm pregnant - "

"Shit."

"You're telling me," Jamie rolled her eyes, leaning back against a desk. "Anyways, I saw Narcissa while storming around Hogwarts and, well, one thing led to another and Sirius basically kept me from hexing her face off."

Remus gave Jamie a guilty look but nonetheless said, "Jamie, you can't get worked up because of the things people happen to say."

"It just infuriates me, Remus."

"And you don't think it upsets me?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. "It got old fast. Besides, isn't it a bit flattering that people care so much about us that they're talking like that?"

"No."

"Yeah, well, my mum would try that on me when I would complain in letters and it never worked on me, either," Remus smirked. "Speaking of, would you like to see that letter about now?"

"Of course," Jamie nodded. "Do you think she's going to be upset?"

"It isn't a Howler," Remus shrugged, ripping open the letter and clearing his throat. "'Darling Remus and Jamie - ' isn't she sweet."

"Just read it," Jamie smiled.

"'While your letter was quite surprising, I couldn't be more excited by your news. To think - I'll have a grandchild! Thank you so much for alerting me as soon as you found out - at least I'm going to expect that it was as soon as you found out. Expect a beautiful nursery present by the time the two of you finish school.' Well, that isn't bad at all, is it?"

"I'd say," Jamie nodded. "Too bad my parents aren't going to be nearly as understanding."

"We should tell them," Remus smiled sadly.

"Sirius and McGonagall reckon that I should see Madam Pomfrey," Jamie bit her bottom lip.

"I've been telling you that for ages," Remus sighed.

"I know, I know," Jamie swallowed hard.

"Oh, come here," Remus stowed the letter in his pocket before stretching his arms apart to hold Jamie close.

Jamie realized how different Remus's embrace was than Sirius's. She could feel Remus's heart beat against her cheek as his arms took hold of everything - her emotions, mind, and heart. While he was holding her, she felt as though nothing could go wrong. As long as he loved her, nothing bad could happen. Despite her surging hormones and his weakness to the waxing moon, she felt safe.

"Are you going to be all right?"

Jamie pulled away and nodded. "I really think so."

"Good," Remus smiled, kissing her forehead. "And you're not upset with me for being a pissy little wanker?"

"I'll forgive you just this once, love," Jamie smirked, pulling herself onto one of the desktops where she had been sitting while she had been talking to Sirius moments ago.

Remus took a few steps closer to her before dropping to his knees in front of her. He was at eye level with her belly that seemed to grow more and more each day. She had done a charm on her robes to make them grow with her, but their secret was becoming a bit harder to hide with every passing day. Remus put his arms around her hips and leaned against the desk between her legs. He put his cheek against Jamie's belly, his eyes closed as though he was listening.

"Hello, Baby," Remus said as Jamie put her fingers in his hair. "D'you think he or she can hear me?"

"Yes," Jamie nodded, smiling down at him.

"Do you think I'm going to be a good father?"

"I know you will be."

The young parents were silent for a moment before Remus softly admitted, "I love you already, Baby. I love your mummy, too."

"I love you, too, love."

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_**Author's Note:** I had every intention of them going to Hogsmeade during this chapter, but it got quite lengthy and I just couldn't stop writing and..oy. My life is hard. I wanted to add more than just Jamie/Remus oriented stuff in this chapter, but I got kind of wrapped up in the Narcissa stuff and one thing led to another and, well, that's how it goes. I hope you all don't mind. If you do..too bad, haha._

_About that not updating as often as normal clause? I figure that'll go into effect more once I start to get more homework later in the semester. Or as soon as I manage to take challenging courses..since I definitely am not taking any right now. :-)_

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**Nicoley117:** Mani isn't going to be a very loveable character, I'll tell you that much. As for Charlie, I think she's going to stick around for a while, but you'll have to wait and see how that works out. I'm so terrible, what can I say? I can hardly believe I made it to the 20th chapter..I was expecting to do this story in parts (I nixed that idea a while ago) and yeah. It's pretty crazy, what can I tell you. I have a feeling that this is going to end up being 40+. Yikes.. Thanks for reading!

**LandUnderWave: **Yep, the hat sure is getting me through some rough times. ;-) Thanks for reading!

**RockStar Lover:** I have a feeling any eighteen year old boy that just found out his girlfriend would be just as dense as him..and then Remus is a sweetheart, so that helps. He's so damn loveable. Hence why I couldn't go along with my original story idea where Sirius actually stole Jamie away..yeah. Glad that didn't happen. Anyways, thanks for reading!

**dolly:** How does everyone know that? Haha.. Thanks for reading!

**radical-rebel:** Not any more crazy than to talk to a usual book character..and we all know that we do that, haha. Anyways, thanks! The title is actually from "Downfall" by Matchbox Twenty, so you were most definitely correct in that assumption. Matchbox Twenty is pretty much my all time favorite band and I looove More Than You Think You Are. They're coming out with another cd..I don't think it's come out yet at least. I'm pretty excited about that because even though I love Rob Thomas's solo stuff, it's not the same as the band. :-) Anyways..yay music! I'm glad that we have amazing music taste! Oh, and thanks for reading!


	22. The Confrontation

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "The Confrontation" is from "Jekyll & Hyde" and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-two: The Confrontation**

_You can't control me  
I live deep inside you  
Each day you'll feel me devour your soul_

"Now _you're_ not going?" Lily asked, her mouth dropped in disbelief with a hand on one of her jutted hips. "You're the one that coerced me into going!"

"Look, Lily, I had a bad day yesterday and I really need to just be alone," Jamie huffed, handing her a handful of Sickles and Knuts and a short list of things she needed from Hogsmeade. She lowered her voice, and said, "Besides, I need to go see Madam Pomfrey. Remus agreed to go down with me today."

"Oh," Lily said, understanding. "Well, about bloody time."

"Thanks for your support," Jamie rolled her eyes, watching as Lily stashed the currency and piece of parchment in her cloak. "Who are you going with?"

"Jaclyn and Mani," Lily sighed. "I would have opted for you and Remus, but whatever."

Taking advantage of the fact Jaclyn was in the bathroom, Jamie asked quietly, "What do you think of Patil?"

Lily made a face. "He's nice enough, but for Jaclyn?"

"I feel the same way," Jamie nodded, stealing a glance at the bathroom door to make sure it was still shut. "He isn't…"

"Sirius," Lily finished, then clamped her mouth shut as the oak door swung open, letting Lauren and Jaclyn walk through.

"Ready, Lily?" Jaclyn asked, striding across the room to collect her cloak.

"Yeah," Lily nodded, sparing Jamie one more look before following her out of the room. "See you two later."

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Lauren asked Jamie, pulling on her shoes before she went down to the common room to meet Peter.

"No, I should study a bit and hang low," Jamie shrugged, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"If you're sure," Lauren nodded, getting to her feet and draping her cloak over one arm.

"Have fun," Jamie smiled at her friend, reaching across the bed for her Herbology textbook.

"Bye," Lauren bade farewell, then disappeared through the door.

* * *

Remus felt Jamie's fingers tighten as they were entangled with his own, her black fingernails digging softly into his skin in nerves. He rubbed his thumb along the top of her hand comfortingly and she gave him a steady smile, and then took a step into the Hospital Wing. They both breathed a sigh of relief when they saw that it was completely empty, except for Madam Pomfrey, who was going through a cabinet in the corner. When she heard the two of them, she turned quickly.

"Yes, what is it?"

Remus and Jamie exchanged a nervous look before Jamie managed, "I, er, need to have myself looked at."

"And you, Mr. Lupin?"

"Moral support?" Remus answered.

"Fine, fine," Madam Pomfrey waved her hand, pointing to a bed and waiting for Jamie to lay down in it. "Now, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm pregnant," Jamie said simply, sick of explaining it to people.

"Wha - oh!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, her eyes wide for a moment before shaking it off and saying, "Ah, yes, well, have you performed the test?"

"Yes," Jamie nodded, feeling rather ashamed until Remus reached over and put a hand on her arm to reassure her.

"Well, let me find the charm so we can see how the little one is doing," Madam Pomfrey said, turning away from them and disappearing into her office.

After a few silent moments, Madam Pomfrey returned, a book open in front of her as she trailed her finger down a long list of contents. She flipped the vast book to a certain page and stared at it for a moment before nodding.

"Ah, yes, here it is," she said, then brought the curtain shut around them in case of a casual onlooker.

"Now, Miss Williams," Madam Pomfrey sighed, pulling her wand out of her robes. "Please pull your shirt up a bit - yes, that's enough - just a small bit of skin is needed." Madam Pomfrey looked again at her book, tapped her wand slightly on Jamie's stomach, and said, _"Velumpraegnas."_

For a second or two, Jamie felt as though nothing had happened and looked at the Healer expectantly, as though she had forgotten a part of the incantation. Then, quite suddenly, Jamie felt a cooling sensation flood across her stomach and, when she looked down, she realized that her stomach was suddenly translucent and she pulled her shirt up farther as a gasp escaped Remus.

"Is - is that - "

"I can safely presume you're the father, correct?" Madam Pomfrey asked firmly.

Remus nodded, bringing a finger to Jamie's stomach and nearly touching the small foetus that was growing inside his fiancée. He swallowed hard as he watched his baby shift within its mother.

"Bloody hell," Jamie said for Remus, tears welling up behind her eyes.

"Well, yes, you're pregnant," Madam Pomfrey muttered, quickly jotting a few things down on a piece of parchment before looking up at the couple. "You are around eighteen weeks along, which makes you due around October 26. You and the baby are doing quite fine, although you should have come to me much sooner."

"I told you," Remus said quietly to Jamie, who rolled her eyes.

"I can make you a potion to take each night around sundown," Madam Pomfrey got to her feet as Jamie's stomach began to grow opaque once again. "It'll control the morning sickness so you can continue attending classes and take your NEWTs."

"Thank you," Jamie said, covering her stomach again and turning toward Remus as Madam Pomfrey disappeared into her office yet again.

"You did the right thing," Remus smiled, putting a hand on her cheek. "Now we know you're both okay."

"I know, love," Jamie sighed, closing her eyes and leaning against Remus's chest. "It's just…quite a bit more real now."

Remus nodded, drawing her close as he wrapped his arms around her. "I know. We only have a little over a month left, though. We'll get through this. Once we finish school we can set off for London and get ready for our life together."

"You mean, continue our life together," Jamie corrected.

"Yes, continue," Remus smiled, falling silent and listening to Madam Pomfrey bustle about as she prepared Jamie's potion.

* * *

In an apparently private corner of the Astronomy Tower, Sirius let out a shuddered gasp as Charlie's nails gently scraped down his bare back. Charlie grinned playfully, bringing her lips to Sirius's and kissing him hard, nearly taking the breath from his lungs. When she kissed him like that, he sometimes felt as though she was a dementor, trying to steal his soul. After a moment, she backed off him and gave him a happy look.

"What?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Sirius Black, I think I love you," Charlie replied.

Sirius opened his mouth to reciprocate, willing his vocal chords to say the words back, and panicking as he heard his voice echo, "Uh, er, thank you."

Charlie stared at him in disbelief for a good minute or so and said, "Did you just thank me?"

Sirius hesitated before replying, "I'm pretty sure I did."

"Do you want to try that again?" Charlie asked, opening the door again.

Sirius swallowed hard but, for some reason, he couldn't wrap his tongue around the words she wanted to hear. He'd told so many girls that in the past - girls that he knew he hadn't even come close to having such feelings for - so why was it so hard now? Charlie was a nice girl. She was wicked at Quidditch and never failed to laugh at one of his jokes, although she definitely wasn't laughing now. What was his problem?

"Sirius," Charlie said angrily, bringing him from his thoughts.

"I - I can't lie to you, Charlie," Sirius managed, groping on the floor for his t-shirt.

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked, staring at him in disbelief once again.

"If I told you I loved you it would be a lie and I can't do that to you," Sirius pulled his shirt over his head, the mood sufficiently ruined. "I respect you to much."

"Let me get this straight," Charlie made a face, trying to grasp the situation. "I tell you that I love you and you say you respect me?"

"Er, I guess so," Sirius said smartly, wishing he had a time turner.

"Sirius, what, exactly, have the past few months been to you?" Charlie asked, folding her arms angrily. "Am I just another one of your flings?"

"No - "

"Then why won't you tell me you love me?"

"Because I don't!" Sirius exclaimed, his voice echoing off the walls of the Tower. "I don't love you, Charlie!"

Charlie's mouth fell open, then she recovered with a wounded look on her face, but her eyes narrowing nonetheless. "You didn't even see us lasting once you finished with Hogwarts, did you? Thanks a lot, Sirius."

"Charlie, wait, that sounded bad," Sirius tried to stop her as she scrambled to her feet, searching for her bag and ignoring his blubbering. "Please, Charlie, let's talk - "

"No, Sirius!" Charlie barked, her eyes flashing at him. "I'm not some toy to play with! I thought I was different to you than those other girls and I was obviously wrong. Piss off!"

Sirius's mouth hung open as he watched her hurry out of the Astronomy Tower and, if he wasn't mistaken, he heard a quiet sob escape from her before she disappeared through the entrance.

_'Oops.'_

* * *

"Oh, God, this tea is amazing," Jamie help the cup beneath her nose, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. "I'm impressed, Remus."

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one good at charms," Remus replied, managing a smile as he glanced out the window at the sun, which was beginning its descent over the western side of the grounds. His smile disappeared.

Recognizing the expression on his face, Jamie set her teacup down on Remus's bedside table. She beckoned him forward with only a wiggle of her finger and he obliged, lying on his back with his head propped up on Jamie's thighs. She hid her fingers comfortingly in his hair as his hand travelled up to push her shirt up and rest on her bare abdomen.

"What's up?" Jamie asked, her fingers playing with his hair.

"Just dreading tonight," Remus replied, ignoring that James, Sirius, and Peter were across the room discussing their options for the adventure they were going to have in a few hours.

"I see," Jamie replied, leaning her head back as her hand rested upon his own.

They sat reticent for a few moments, their silence only broken when the other Marauders laughed loudly. Finally, Remus looked at his watch to see that it was nearing seven o'clock. With a resigned sigh, he rolled so that he was lying between Jamie's legs and his chin was resting on her stomach. He met her eyes and gave her a pleading look.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything for you," Jamie said in a hushed voice, aware that their friends were giving them pointed looks every so often.

"It's not your fault."

"Doesn't mean I can't be sorry," Jamie smirked, bringing a hand to his face and tracing a scar on his cheek.

Remus pressed his lips to Jamie's belly, then sat up. "I suppose I should get going, then."

"I'll come with you to the common room at least," Jamie nodded. "I have to take some of that potion Pomfrey gave me on Saturday."

"See you in a bit, mate," Sirius said, grinning as James and Peter waved.

Once they were in the stairwell, Jamie admitted, "I don't really love how they thrive off of your problem."

"Whatever makes them happy, I guess," Remus said sombrely.

Jamie looked unconvinced, but followed Remus into the common room. The room was surprisingly quiet, as most of the Gryffindors were either studying or too frightened to make noise and disturb the studying people. Jamie saw Lily across the room, which was making Jaclyn help her study with flashcards she had made for herself.

"I really need to hurry," Remus admitted, turning to Jamie with a grave look on his face. "Oh, hell." He realized he was still wearing his glasses and handed them to Jamie, who pocketed them. "Give them to me tomorrow."

"I'll come and see you," Jamie promised.

"Thank you," Remus nodded, swallowing hard and look preoccupied. "I'm looking forward to it."

Jamie forced a smile, then wrapped her arms around Remus. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Remus answered quietly, tightening his grip on her before pulling away. "I need to be going."

Jamie bit her lip before lifting herself up on her tiptoes to accept a kiss from him. "Goodbye."

"Bye," Remus nodded, then hurrying across the common room.

Once through the portrait hole, Remus noticed just how late he was at leaving. The sun wouldn't set until nearly eight o'clock, but he liked to be early just in case something went wrong. He knew nothing would - it was always the same - but his condition had always made him paranoid in that way.

Without so much as nodding at Professor Slughorn as he sped through the hallways and corridors, he welcomed the sight of the grounds, then rebuked them simultaneously. Although it was May, the evenings were still cool and he wished he'd brought his cloak. Then, remembering what had happened to his last cloak when he transformed, decided it was probably for the best.

"All right there, Remus?" Hagrid waved as Remus hurried past his hut to the Whomping Willow. Remus gave a wave before the Keeper of the Keys turned back to tend to whatever large and, most likely, dangerous animal he had managed to come across.

As Remus reached the great tree, which was preoccupied with a bat that was flitting around above it, he took his wand and shouted, _"Stupparesceort!"_ The tree instantly stopped moving and Remus took advantage of the moment, knowing that the charm would only last about thirty seconds and the tree wouldn't mind taking off his head.

Hurrying through the dank corridor that lead to the Shrieking Shack, Remus listened to his footsteps echo and his knuckles scrape against the dirt walls. He could feel the dreaded second side of him begin to bubble up from the back of his mind and he violently tried to push it down. _'Not yet,'_ Remus vowed, furrowing his brow in concentration.

When he found himself in the Shrieking Shack, he allowed himself a bleak chuckle, as always, thinking about how the people who lived in Hogsmeade were going to talk about how haunted the house was the next day. He couldn't help but find it a bit funny that an entire village was afraid of the house because of an eighteen-year-old boy that inhabited it once a month.

Remus crossed the room, vaguely aware of how low the sun was on the horizon. With a dark sigh, he striped off his robes, rubbing his upper arms furiously as he felt the wolf begin to bubble from the normally dormant side of his brain again.

"Shit," Remus groaned, kicking off his shoes quickly, knowing he wasn't going to be able to fight it much longer.

His breathing began to grow shallow and quicken as he pulled his socks off and jerked his belt out of his belt loops, valiantly trying to rid himself of the most restricting pieces of clothing on his body as quickly as possible.

"No, no, not yet," Remus begged, feeling tears well up in his eyes, which were dilating without his consent. "Please, not yet."

He began to babble incomprehensibly, apologizing for things he hadn't thought about in years or acts he hadn't committed at all, as he struggled to keep control of his mind. He brought his mutating hands to his face, trying to hide that it was elongating into a muzzle. He tried to ignore that his bones were cracking and bending in a way bones were not meant to, forcing him to do a face plant as he toiled to stay on his feet that were now large hind paws. Finally, his voice turned into hoarse growls as he lost his ability to use human speech.

After what felt like hours, Remus Lupin finally gave up the fight and a werewolf let out its first howl of the night, alerting everyone of its presence.

* * *

"C'mon, mate," James beckoned in a soothing voice, squinting through the dim morning light.

"Blimey, we need to hurry!" Peter said, looking worriedly back toward the school, which the boys could barely see through the thick grouping of trees between them and Hogwarts. "Madam Pomfrey is going to come to fetch him any moment now!"

"Thanks for that update, Wormtail," James nearly growled, bending over their friend and carefully rolling him onto his back, his thin frame covered with a new coat of bloody scrapes and cuts. It seemed as though where there wasn't a splotch of blood, there was a forming bruise. "Remus."

Next to him, Sirius was taking off his cloak and fishing his wand out of one of the pockets. "Just let me put a charm - "

As though hearing him, Remus's eyes slowly fluttered open and his mouth gaped, trying gallantly to form words. Recognizing James, who was kneeling at his side, his face screwed up and he began to cry silently.

"I'shm shorry," Remus croaked out, his voice hoarser than usual.

"It's all right, Moony," James said absentmindedly, taking Sirius's offered coat and trying to help Remus up. "We need to get you back to the Whomping Willow, is that okay?" He talked quietly but slowly, giving his friend time to process what he was saying. "It's going to be just fine."

"I'm so sorry, James," Remus whispered, flinching due to the joined pain of his salty tears seeping into his cuts and his sore joints. "I'm sorry."

"Don't think anything of it," James replied, used to the conversation they were holding and wrapping Sirius's cloak around his friend.

"Will you tell Jamie I'm sorry?" Remus continued, leaning on James as he and Sirius both tried to aid him in the walk to the Willow. "I didn't mean to - I didn't want to - "

"She knows," Sirius supplied comfortingly. "We know."

"She hasn't left the school yet," Peter said, breathing a sigh of relief as he consulted the Marauder's Map that they had stowed in a tree nearby.

"I'm sorry," Remus sobbed, not completely comprehending what was going on around him. "I'm so sorry…"

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I've been looking forward to writing this since forever..I just needed to find a good place to fit it in. So, well, there you have it. I would really recommend the musical Jekyll & Hyde to anyone..I feel like a lot of Emma and Jekyll's relationship translates to Jamie and Remus's, especially in the song "Take Me As I Am," which I'll more than likely end up using in this. So, yes. I love music. :-)_

_PS: Those aren't spelling errors - my Word spell check kept telling me I was spelling stuff wrong when it turns out I was using the British way of spelling..so I changed my spell check to UK English rather than American. Just an fyi for those of you who, like me, pay attention to that sort of thing._

* * *

**Nicoley117: **I'm really not looking forward to ending this..it's kind of like a strangely dramatic baby..that I've grown quite fond of. :-) I already have the last chapter written, though, so I'm prepared, haha. I love Rent as well..I'm a big broadway junkie, what can I say? I was a musical theatre major for quite some time, so..yeah. Anyways, thanks for reading!

**La Mariposa:** You're only reviewing so you can have a say with your complaints.. ;-) I have a plan for Narcissa that you're probably going to want to know about..but won't hear about until you put a new chapter up. Mwa ha ha.

**LandUnderWave:** She is, isn't she? Sadly, there will be more of her. Thanks for reading!

**RockStar Lover:** Absolutely not! I will not tell you the gender! Oop.. Anyways, thanks so much for reading!

**dolly: **Haha, aww! I'm glad to hear it. Thanks for reading!

**radical-rebel: **Yikes - fourteen? My mom had me when she was nineteen and I have a friend who is sixteen that is having a baby..but fourteen would be so scary for me. Well, I wish her the best of luck! Anyways, I didn't know Evanescence was coming out with a new cd..that is really exciting - I looove Evanescence. I've never heard of Gogol Bordello, but I'll definitely check them out! Anywho, thanks for reading!

**Carflk & ecchiman:** If you're going to attempt to flame, at least look past the first chapter and read it. I know ecchiman didn't even look at the summary, but Carflk - why were you looking for a Lily/James when my story is categorized under Remus/OC? Yeah..that's that.


	23. Brick

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Brick" is by Ben Folds and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-three: Brick**

_She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly  
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere  
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly_

"Do you mind if I sit with you?"

Sirius glanced up from his Transfiguration text, which he was desperately trying to memorize some of the finer points of being an Animagi, as if he didn't know, and saw Jaclyn timidly standing on the other side of the table he was seated at. He waved a hand at the open seat across from him and said, "If you want."

Ever since the end of his relationship with Charlie, Jaclyn had warmed up to Sirius once again, although she wasn't ready to write off Mani. While she enjoyed spending time with Sirius, he wasn't "Orion" as Mani was and she didn't know him as she did Mani. However, that didn't mean that she didn't enjoy Sirius's company.

"What are you studying?" Jaclyn asked, trying to hold conversation.

"Transfiguration," Sirius mumbled.

While Jaclyn had been trying to fix their nearly sabotaged friendship, Sirius had been much more withdrawn from the idea. He hadn't forgotten the kiss that she seemingly had and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable around her. He felt as though he had taken advantage of her in some way, although it had been a two-to-tango sort of situation.

"Oh," Jaclyn swallowed, taken aback by his tone. She pretended to be engrossed in her Potions essay, but kept stealing glances at Sirius.

After a few silent moments, Sirius cleared his throat loudly as though trying to relieve the tension between the two, but before he could even finish, a sudden roar of laughter by a pair of seventh years interrupted him, allowing it to lift. Both Sirius and Jaclyn, along with the others who scattered the common room, looked across to see where James and Jamie were seated on a love seat, both of them looking at what looked like an old photo album.

Jaclyn and Sirius exchanged a look, which caused Sirius to say, "They're your cousins."

"James isn't my cousin," Jaclyn said stiffly.

"I thought the three of you - "

"No," Jaclyn shook her head, interrupting him. "See, my Uncle Joel, Jamie's dad, is James's mum's brother." She paused, a bit confused by what she was trying to explain before continuing. "However, my mum and Jamie's mum are sisters. Jamie's related to the both of us, but James and I are on opposite sides of the family. It was a good year for our families."

"Well, technically, that'd make you cousins by marriage," Sirius pointed out, looking over Jaclyn's shoulder again as Jamie let out another loud laugh.

"James and I aren't related."

"Not by blood, no."

"We aren't cousins, Sirius."

"Yes, you are," Sirius insisted, pulling a piece of parchment out and quickly drawing a family tree to demonstrate his point. "See?"

"Fine, Sirius, we're all cousins," Jaclyn rolled her eyes. "You're related to James and Jamie in some way, too, though."

"Yeah, some Black married a Williams and then a whole bunch of cousins married," Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "How the whole lot of us didn't end up as a bunch of inbred mutants is beyond me. In fact, my mum and dad are second cousins. While that explains Regulus, it doesn't entirely explain why I'm so wonderful."

Jaclyn scrunched up her nose and said, "That's good to know."

"That's what happens when you restrict your options so much," Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Hell, my mum would have probably written me back on the tree if things would've worked out with me and Jamie."

"Write you back on?" Jaclyn asked.

"It's this bloody ugly tapestry," Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's been in my family for years. It has the Black family tree on it dating back to the beginning of time, I'm sure."

"My mum has our tree all written out in a family album," Jaclyn added lamely.

"My parents are far too proud of being Blacks," Sirius shrugged, tapping his quill impatiently on the parchment he had drawn Jaclyn's family on. "Anyways, you're all cousins."

"By marriage," Jaclyn pointed out. She glanced over her shoulder at the two and shrugged. "They're more cousins than Jamie and I have ever been."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought you and Jamie were really close."

"Sort of," Jaclyn shrugged uncomfortably. "Growing up, Jamie and James saw each other a lot more than I saw Jamie. I don't know if you know this, but up until a few years ago, my dad and Aunt Claire didn't really talk a whole lot. They weren't terribly close, I guess. When Aunt Claire and Uncle Joel got married, they had a lot more to do with the Williams and Potters rather than the Carters."

"That's daft."

"In their defence, my dad quit being an Auror fairly early because he didn't think it was terribly safe with Jon and me. He took up a job with the Ministry and travelled a lot and we always moved with him. I've lived basically everywhere in Europe, or so it feels. I've been in France, Germany, Spain…"

"But once you came to Hogwarts you two were really close," Sirius said in an almost accusatory tone.

"Well, yeah," Jaclyn smirked. "Sirius, we were eleven - at that age boys are gross and the same went for James. Nevertheless, with time, they became as close as they had once been. She's my best mate, but it kind of hurts to know that I'll never be hers."

"That's not fair to you," Sirius commented.

"What am I supposed to do?" Jaclyn asked. "Waltz over there and demand my cousin to dump her other cousin? I don't think that'd go over terribly well, Sirius."

"This is true," Sirius nodded.

"Don't get me wrong," Jaclyn said quickly, holding up her hands. "Jamie's a great person and all, but sometimes I feel like I get shafted."

"Everyone can feel that way with all of their friends, though," Sirius nodded. "You know what the solution is, don't you?"

"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me," Jaclyn smiled.

Sirius slammed his right fist against his left palm. "Beat them up."

"Thanks for the advice," Jaclyn shook her head. "I'll get right on that."

"Good," Sirius nodded, turning back to his Transfiguration textbook and allowing that tension to rise one more time.

"Oh, hell," Jaclyn swore, looking in her bag. "I was going to work on my Ancient Runes but I completely forgot it in my room."

"Way to go," Sirius commented. "I already finished mine."

"I'm almost done," Jaclyn said defensively. "I need to do a few finishing touches is all. I'm going to go up and finish it, I guess."

"Fine, just leave me," Sirius pretended to pout.

"Don't worry, I will," Jaclyn gave him a nod while quickly cleaning up her things. "Thanks for listening to me complain."

"It's what I do," Sirius replied with a smirk.

"There's an owl at the window," Jaclyn said swiftly as she crossed in front where Jamie and James were seated.

As Jaclyn disappeared away from them and through the girls' dormitory, James looked at the window behind them and saw Jamie's family owl hovering there.

"It's for you," James said, pointing toward him.

"So it is," Jamie said nervously, giving the photo album to James and getting to her feet to fetch the letter.

As soon as she wrenched the window open, the owl toppled in, catching his balance and sticking out his leg for Jamie.

"Thank you, Winthrop," Jamie sighed heavily as the owl gave a hoot and took off through the window once more. "I guess they don't want an answer."

"Is that good or bad?" James asked, knowing that Jamie had written her mum and dad only the night before about their imminent future as grandparents.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Jamie grimaced. "Is Remus in your room?"

"When I came down he was throwing around papers like a madman trying to make some schedule for his dorky research," James nodded.

"Great, so he's in a good mood," Jamie replied sarcastically. "Well, wish us luck."

"Hey, it can't be that bad," James pointed out. "First of all, it isn't a Howler and second, my mum would have Aunt Claire and Uncle Joel's hides if it was too bad."

"Good point," Jamie nodded, giving him a nervous smile before taking off to the boys' dormitory.

Jamie was greeted with an angry, "Bloody hell!" when she went into the Marauders' bedroom. As James had promised, the room was in a complete disarray - papers were literally floating all over with Remus in the midst of it all. Cassie was stretched out on a large pile and pages kept flying out from under her when Remus summoned them.

"Hi," Jamie greeted cautiously.

"Hello," Remus grunted, jotting something down quickly before grasping in the air for a piece of parchment.

"No need to get up," Jamie said, stepping over Remus's mess and making her way to his bed.

"Sorry," Remus apologized quickly, not looking at her. "I'm trying to get this done."

"You need to take a breather," Jamie suggested, kneeling on his bed and inching toward where he was seated on the edge.

"I can't," Remus sighed, glancing at her and looking more tired than usual.

"Yes, you can," Jamie said firmly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Remus, I haven't seen you since last night because you've been doing this all day. James had to come down because you were being a raving nutter."

"Is that what he said?" Remus asked, continuing with what he was doing.

"No, it's what I decided," Jamie explained, trying desperately to distract him from his work. "Honestly, love, you're going to actually go crazy if you don't take a break."

"All right, fine," Remus sighed, whipping his wand once so the papers flew through the air and landed in a soft, neat pile next to his bed. "Ten minutes."

"A half an hour," Jamie suggested.

"Fifteen," Remus countered, kneeling on the bed and leaning toward her.

"Twenty-five."

"Twenty and that's my final offer," Remus smiled, holding up a hand.

"You win," Jamie returned the smile, meeting Remus halfway and kissing him softly.

"You're right," Remus nodded, pushing Jamie onto the bed and kissing her once more. "I was in need of a break."

"Of course I'm right," Jamie said, putting both of her hands on Remus's face, looking into his amber eyes. "I have some potentially bad news."

"And what might that be?" Remus asked, falling to his side next to her and running his hand over her abdomen.

"I got a letter from my mum and dad," Jamie sighed, retrieving the letter from her pocket and holding it above them, playing with the corners of the small white envelope.

"Ah," Remus said simply, propping his head up on his hand. "Are you going to open it?"

"I was kind of hoping we could just ignore it," Jamie replied, reaching over to put the envelope on his bedside table, but Remus grabbed hold of her forearm and gave a chuckle.

"Somehow I don't think your parents would appreciate that," he smirked.

"Somehow I don't think they'd appreciate it either," Jamie resigned, giving him the letter. "Love, you open it."

"Me? It's your family."

"They'll be your family, too, in a few months."

"Fine," Remus replied stoically. He slowly opened the letter for dramatic effect. He spared a glance at Jamie, who was giving him an impatient look.

"Damn it, just open the letter, Remus."

"If I'm not doing it right, why don't you do it yourself like I had originally suggested?"

"I may be pregnant, but that doesn't mean I won't beat you up."

"Fine, fine," Remus smiled at her empty threat, ripping the envelope open the rest of the way and pulling out the paper that was inside. "Let's see."

"Read it aloud," Jamie grimaced, looking away.

Remus cleared his throat before reading, "_'May 23, 1978.'_ Well, they waited until this morning to write it."

"Then it won't be quite as angry," Jamie nodded. "Let's have it."

"_'Your father and I received your letter late last night and we were quite surprised at its contents. While it wasn't completely unexpected as your Aunt Janine was looking through the family tree a few days past and saw that a blank line had been drawn from your name. She'd alerted us and we had shaken it off as the charm being so old. However, obviously, we were wrong._

"_'To be honest, we're disappointed in the both of you, but that doesn't mean we won't support you. These things happen. As you can probably imagine, we'd like it if you kept this quiet until you're finished with school. We'd rather not have people talking._

"_'Owl if you need anything._

"_'Love, Mum,'_" Remus concluded, folding the paper back up in silence.

"That bloody - " Jamie began angrily.

"Jamie!" Remus scolded. "It could've been much worse."

"My mum had me when she was nineteen," Jamie continued, her eyes flashing. "How dare she lecture me about having a baby so young when she did the exact same thing."

"It's okay," Remus said comfortingly, putting an arm around her.

"And then to ask us to keep it quiet?" Jamie bounded on, still angry. "How dare they?"

"I'm sure it's just so that we won't have as much grief to deal with," Remus suggested, biting his lip, not believing his words himself.

"Oh, that's what they want us to think," Jamie shook her head in disagreement, smirking in an annoyed way. "No, they just don't want us to tarnish the proud Williams name." She rolled her eyes. "What have the Williams done in the past that's been great? You know, other than producing half an army of Aurors."

"It's all right," Remus insisted, running his hand up and down her upper arm. "We'll be fine. After all, we have each other."

"You're sweet," Jamie sighed, trying to forget about her parents and looking up at him. "I guess I wasn't really expecting them to send us cigars and balloons."

"They'll come around," Remus leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "They're going to have to if they want to see their grandchild."

"Which I guess they might want to do that for some reason," Jamie nodded, reaching over and lifting Cassie onto her stomach to stroke her as she began to loudly purr.

"Everything will be just fine," Remus insisted, pulling her closer to him soothingly.

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the kitten purr, Remus temporarily forgetting about the papers he had been trying to organize. After a while, Remus began to doze and Jamie didn't notice until his head gently came to rest on her shoulder. She smiled and let her own head rest against his.

_'Are things really going to be fine?'_ she asked herself, her brow furrowing. Almost on cue, she felt their baby shift within her. She was absolutely terrified of the mere prospect of being responsible for a life other than her own. She knew that Remus was going to be an amazing father. She had once attended a wedding for a cousin of his and she had been impressed with how well he played with his younger family members. For some reason, he had never struck her as one to be good with children.

However, Jamie's only young family members were either on the other side of the world or Jaclyn's younger brother, who was only a few years younger than she was. However, she had always known that she wanted many kids because it had been rather lonely being an only child, even though James was always around and was more of a brother than a cousin.

On top of the baby woes, she wasn't even sure of her occupation after Hogwarts. She had received a letter from St. Mungo's about being a Healer, but she wouldn't know for sure if she had secured a job until she received her NEWT results.

Jamie couldn't help but feel a bit envious of James and Sirius, wishing that her family had been so giving with their fortunes as theirs had been. It was a basic rule of thumb that all pureblood families were well off and both the Williams and Carters were no exception. Jamie was quite sure that a lot of their stinginess stemmed from whom she was choosing for wedlock, but she didn't dare mention it to her parents, who would deny it, or Remus, who would be offended.

"Oh, I'm sorry," came a sudden apology by Sirius, who had swung the door open.

"It's okay," Jamie said quietly, not wanting to wake up Remus.

"I don't think he slept at all last night," Sirius admitted as he entered the room, trying to keep his voice down. "His candle was at a nub when I woke up this morning."

"That doesn't surprise me," Jamie sighed deeply, continuing to stroke her kitten. "How are you?"

"Not bad," Sirius shrugged, setting his bag on his bed and then flopping down onto it. "I'm tired of studying."

"Only two weeks until those damn exams are over," Jamie said encouragingly. "Then again, you don't have a whole lot to worry about, do you? You know, Auror training and all?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Doesn't mean I don't want to do well. Speaking of Auror training, I was disappointed not to see your name on the list of accepters."

"I guess I wasn't good enough," Jamie said, swallowing hard.

"Bullocks," Sirius shook his head. "Your marks are as good as mine, if not better." When Jamie said nothing, he shook his head and said, "Moony wouldn't be too happy to know that you gave up your dream for him."

"They would've chucked me out when I showed up six months pregnant," Jamie pointed out. "Besides, I'm in the Order, too, and, like you said, that's almost the same thing as being an Auror."

"I guess," Sirius agreed. "He'd still be upset, though."

"Then he's not going to find out," Jamie raised her eyebrows, glancing at Remus to make sure he was still deep in sleep.

"Your secret is safe with me," Sirius nodded, although he still looked as though he had his misgivings. "Well, I think I'm going to get some dinner. Do you want to join me?"

"No, I'd better stay with Remus a while," Jamie declined, but looked touched nonetheless. "We'll come down in a while."

"Merlin knows he needs the sleep," Sirius replied as he started toward the door. He wrenched the door open, then paused, mulling something over in his head. "Hey, Jamie?"

"Yeah?" Jamie asked as Remus shifted in his sleep.

"I know Moony's got a full moon and all over the Farewell Gala," he started, looking increasingly uncomfortable. "Are you planning on going?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," Jamie admitted. "Why?"

"Well, you know Charlie seems to have sacked me as the role of boyfriend, leaving me quite dateless," Sirius smirked, pulling his fingers through his hair sheepishly. "And, well, Moony definitely isn't going to be going; do you want to go with me?"

Jamie smiled and nodded. "That sounds great, Sirius."

"Really?" Sirius asked. "I didn't think you'd say yes."

"Well, it's not like you're going to pull anything when it looks like I have a melon in my robes," Jamie admitted jokingly.

"Yeah, that might be tacky," Sirius countered. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Sirius," Jamie shook her head, a smile lingering on her lips.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the girls' dormitory, Jaclyn ignored Lily and Lauren, who were both giving her strange looks as she paced the aisle that was formed between the four beds. The two seated girls exchanged a look before Lauren cleared her throat loudly. 

"Uh, Jac, is something bothering you?"

"Have you ever felt like you were settling?" Jaclyn asked without hesitation, spinning to face her two friends.

"You know I have," Lily said after a couple moments. "You know, with James?"

"It's not a good thing, is it," Jaclyn mused cryptically.

"Do you want to talk about something?" Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Jaclyn shook her head, not meeting their eyes before she hurried to her bed and began writing on a waiting piece of parchment.

_"Dear Orion,_

_"I hope you're not upset with me, but I think I'm settling…"_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I'm absolutely exhausted but I thought I'd get this up tonight because, knowing me, I'd put it off until Sunday and we just can't have that. I'm going to have quite the weekend, heh._

_Anyways, this isn't the most exciting chapter, but it was necessary for the future, I promise. :-)_

_Just an fyi, this is the last chapter I'm going to do the thank you section. I feel like it kind of takes away from everything. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message on or email me at kamers. Either that or just leave it in a review and I'll send you a message back straight away. :-)_

* * *

**RisuMusume:** You have to think, though..how many seats would they have sold if they would've stuck to the book? I know exactly what you mean, but in theatre there has to be some sort of drama or it won't sell. The music is just bone chillingly amazing, though..I'm a huge choir geek, haha. Anyways, thanks so much for reading! 

**LandUnderWave:** 'Tis a secret, hehe. It'll keep the tension alive:-D Thanks for reading!

**RockStar Lover:** I feel really bad for Charlie, too. I put a lot of my own personality into her character, although I'd totally be a Gryffindor, naturally. ;-) Anyways, thanks for reading!

**Nicoley117:** A while back I had inspiration for the last chapter and, well, I figured I should act on it. And, yep, I was a musical theatre major and I wish I still was (I basically rocked it, not to toot my own horn or anything), but reality sure has a way of sneaking up when we don't want to see it. Anyways, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading!

**dolly:** Yeah..it was a pretty packed chapter, but I didn't want to make a bunch of super short chapters to get everything done. Thanks for reading!


	24. Things I'll Never Say

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Things I'll Never Say" is by Avril Lavigne and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-four: Things I'll Never Say**

_Why can't I just tell you that I care?  
I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
'Cause I know you're worth it_

"Welcome to your last class of Ancient Runes and, for many of you, your last class at Hogwarts," Professor Brooks greeted, the stack of letters sitting next to her on her desk, taunting the students. She looked amused as the class looked at her expectantly, waiting to see who their mysterious counterpart was. "I hope that the lot of you do well on not only your Ancient Runes NEWT, but all others as well. I wish you all good luck in the future."

The professor paused, apparently surprised at the amount of emotion she was expressing toward a class. "Anyways, have a good rest of term and here are your letters."

The letters flew around the room, floating onto desks.

"Prongs!" Remus exclaimed, looking at his paper incredulously. "I told you I was writing to you."

"Yeah - you're more exciting when I don't know you," James smirked, stowing his parchment into his bag. Realizing the time, he said flatly, "Brilliant, I have some free time now to study. Let's go, Padfoot. Padfoot?"

"Jaclyn?"

"Sirius?" Jaclyn said at the same time, her eyes rising to meet Sirius's eyes. "You're 'Orion'?"

"It's my middle name," Sirius admitted. "And you're 'Alayne'?"

"It's my middle name," Jaclyn echoed. "Well, that's, er, interesting."

"Yeah, interesting," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Oh, lovely, I've been writing to Snape," Jamie interrupted, her nose scrunched up. "Well, that was a year wasted."

"Let's go," Lily urged, shifting her weight on her feet.

The group of friends left the room and entered the grounds, four of them not noticing how quiet the other two were being.

* * *

"Come on, love - one more," Jamie urged, taking a leaf out of Lily's book and holding up flashcards for their Care For Magical Creatures NEWT. 

"I'd really like to take a break and play Exploding Snap like I was planning on doing once I came down here," Remus complained, leaning his head on his hand in an annoyed manner.

"It's our last NEWT and it's in only a few hours," Jamie insisted, giving him a look.

"All the more reason for me to play Exploding Snap," Remus began to get up.

"No, all the more reason for you to help me study," Jamie complained. "Love, if I do badly I won't get a job and we're going to be living on the streets and dirty and the baby will - "

Remus rolled his eyes at how overdramatic she was being and said, "Fine."

"Okay, answer this one," Jamie switched cards.

Remus let out a laugh and said, "Did you even read what the cards said?"

"No, Lily showed me some charm she read in her NEWT preparation book that made the cards," Jamie shook her head. "Why?"

"_'What are the major differences between a werewolf and a normal wolf?'_" Remus recited, smirking.

"Well, what are they?" Jamie asked, unaffected.

"Normal wolves don't ask pushy girls that make them study when they're completely studied out to marry them," Remus shot back.

"Okay, fine, we're done studying," Jamie huffed, setting her flashcards down. "Normally you're the one forcing me to study."

"I'm just tired of it all," Remus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "While I love Hogwarts and all, I'm ready to get on with it."

Jamie opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud cheer coming from the portrait entrance.

"Done!" Sirius shouted, addressing the entire common room. "I would like to introduce you all to a fully qualified wizard!"

"I think your head just inflated a bit," James commented, strolling past him with Lauren and Peter at his tail after their Divination NEWT. He sat on the edge of the table where Remus and Jamie were seated, taking a look at the card Jamie had tried to get Remus to answer. "Moony, did you know this one?"

"Slipped my mind," Remus shrugged, watching Sirius continue to gloat about being finished with exams.

"Are you finished yet with exams?" Lauren asked, sitting in a chair next to Jamie.

"One more," Jamie sighed heavily.

"Well, you know what this calls for, right?" James asked, grinning.

"Dare I ask?"

"Party tonight," Sirius grinned, coming up next to James and catching the end of the conversation. "It's not every day we finish exams."

"We've only done it six times before," Remus pointed out.

"Don't be such a bore, Moony," Sirius playfully punched his friend on the shoulder, who instantly began to rub it as though it had hurt more than it really did. "This is different."

"We can fetch the festivities from Hogsmeade," Peter volunteered, glancing at Lauren to make sure she didn't mind.

"Yeah, that'd be perfect," Lauren nodded her head enthusiastically.

"So, your plan is to throw a party the day before the Farewell Gala?" Jamie inquired. "Everyone will be too hung-over to go to the Gala."

"Might as well get all the celebrating done at once," Sirius shrugged as though it was the most logical thing to do.

"Makes sense to me," James nodded.

"I'll have to write an age-line so we don't have any lingering ickle Gryffindors," Sirius mused, making a mental list of the things to get done before the night was over.

"What are you going to do?" Remus asked. "Trap them in their dormitories?"

"Why not?" Sirius shrugged. "It's not like McGonagall will be up here to find out."

"The perks of being friends with the Head Boy and Girl," Lauren smirked. "Well, Peter, we should probably head out if we're going to make headway on this party of Sirius's."

"Hey, it was my idea, too," James pouted.

"Okay, this party of James and Sirius's," Lauren repeated, rolling her eyes as she got to her feet and tugged at Peter's robes.

"Much better," James nodded.

"Goodbye," Lauren said forcefully, leading Peter out of the common room.

Once out of earshot, Sirius looked at the others as though he had a bad taste in his mouth. "I don't particularly like her."

"Why?" Jamie tested, cocking an eyebrow.

"I can't put my finger on it," Sirius furrowed his brow, looking thoughtful. "There's just something about her, I guess."

"You just don't like that she's the only one of the lot of us that didn't join the Order," Jamie accused, her tone sharp.

"That's not it," Sirius shook his head, not noticing how angry Jamie was becoming. He shook his head forcefully and said, "Nevermind, it isn't important."

* * *

Jaclyn couldn't help but feel a bit scandalous. She had only been in the boys' dormitory once before and it was when they had all received their Order of the Phoenix letters. She didn't know why, but being there made her feel like she was breaking a whole score of rules, although it had never been specified that girls couldn't go into the dormitory. After all, Jamie had been up here hundreds of times. The thrill that was going through Jaclyn's spine was only exemplified when Mani led her into the dormitory across from the Marauders' which she knew Lily and James had disappeared into only a half hour earlier. 

_'How did we get up here?'_ Jaclyn asked herself, trying to remember what had happened. _'Oh, yeah,'_ she slowly began to remember the party, the drinks, and the low lights in the common room.

Jaclyn could smell the firewhiskey on Mani's breath - or was it her own? - as he haphazardly led her across the room with a crooked smile on his face. Jaclyn tried to return the smile, but honestly only felt like she was going to be sick all over the floor.

As Jaclyn fell backward onto Mani's bed, she felt the air escape her lungs in a soft, "Oof!" After a split second, Mani positioned himself above her, his lips pushing hard against her own. Jaclyn struggled to push him off of her, but her small frame was no match for his own.

"Mani, please, stop it," Jaclyn murmured when possible, turning her head away from him, which only cause him to latch onto her neck.

"Wassrong?" Mani managed, his voice vibrating against Jaclyn's throat.

"I don't want to do this right now," Jaclyn admitted, pushing hard against his chest so he got the hint.

"Ouch!" Mani rolled off of her, sitting up and rubbing his chest gingerly. "That hurt!"

"Sorry," Jaclyn replied, but not feeling any remorse whatsoever. "I don't feel very good. I think I had a bad mix of drinks."

Mani gave Jaclyn a wounded look, obviously expecting more from her than he had received. However, he recovered and nodded kindly. "I understand."

"Thanks," Jaclyn managed a smile, leaning over and kissing him softly before retreating from his room.

No sooner had Jaclyn left the room and she tripped over the long legs of a boy.

"What the - "

"Jaclyn?"

"Sirius?" Jaclyn asked, squinting in the darkness and pulling her wand out. "Lumos."

Jaclyn couldn't help but let out a laugh to see Sirius sprawled on the ground, looking quite tipsy but not intoxicated enough to interrupt his mate in their bedroom.

"What were you doing in the other seventh year dormitory?" Sirius asked. Jaclyn was quite surprised that his speech was as understandable as it was - she had seen the amount of brandy he'd managed to take down throughout the night.

"Mani," Jaclyn shrugged.

"Oh," Sirius nodded. "Did you shag?"

"I'm going to assume that the only reason you asked that was because of the amount of alcohol you drank tonight and continue forth to the common room," Jaclyn gave Sirius a disgusted look, trying to ignore the fact that he looked quite handsome when he smirked like that.

"Sure thing," Sirius managed, disappearing from Jaclyn's view as she muttered, "Nox."

Feeling slightly more amused, Jaclyn stumbled into the common room, which was beginning to empty as Sirius's (and James's) party began to wind down. Jaclyn glanced around nervously until she spotted Remus, who was trying to ignore Lauren and Peter, who were snogging in the armchair next to him, by looking at a book.

"Hey, Remus," Jaclyn greeted.

"Hi," Remus nodded, not looking up. "What's up?"

"Do you know where Jamie is?"

"She went upstairs," Remus replied, his eyes still scanning the pages. "She wasn't feeling well."

"My, my, someone's grumpy," Jaclyn raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Remus managed in an apologetic tone, glancing up for the first time. "I'm quite tired, not looking forward to tomorrow, and I'd rather not walk in on Lily and James, if you know what I mean."

"Ah, yes, well, then I guess you're welcome to be crabby," Jaclyn gave him a nod. "I need to, er, talk to Jamie, then."

Remus returned to his book as Jaclyn hurried to the girls' dormitory and up the spiral staircase. She had been meaning to get her cousin alone for a week or two now, but she always seemed to either be with Remus or Lily and she didn't want to make it obvious that she had a bit of a problem.

Jaclyn pushed the dormitory door open and saw that Jamie was sitting on her bed, clad in a tank top and pyjama pants - far past trying to hide that she was going to pop in about four months time. Jamie glanced up and gave Jaclyn a smile, closing the magazine that was resting on her stomach.

"What are you reading?" Jaclyn asked.

"Just some stuff for the wedding. I haven't decided if I want to go with traditional robes or something more fancy in terms of dresses and whatnot," Jamie sighed, folding her hands on top of the magazine. "I was wondering who'd be the first up."

"Why did you turn in so early?" Jaclyn asked, striding to her dresser of doors and searching through them.

"Parties aren't quite as much fun when you're not one of the crazy drunk people," Jamie smirked. "I don't know how you managed all those years."

"Yeah, well," Jaclyn shrugged, pulling her sweater off and replacing it with a black cami.

"You looked pretty far gone before you up and disappeared," Jamie goaded, smiling to show that she was only joking. "Have you completely lost sense of your ideals?"

Jaclyn forced a laugh. "Looks that way, doesn't it? Besides, I've sobered up greatly, thanks."

Jamie watched her cousin silently for a moment before saying, "All right - what's going on?"

"Nothing," Jaclyn replied far too quickly and when she turned, she saw that Jamie had a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Well, I suppose that wouldn't be completely truthful."

"You think?" Jamie asked. "Let's hear it."

"All right, but you're not going to believe it," Jaclyn shook her head, pulling her curls into a ponytail as she walked to Jamie's bed, where she seated herself on the edge.

"I believe more and more unbelievable things these days," Jamie chuckled, putting her book aside and laying her right hand where it had been seconds before. "Lay it on me."

"Mani and I had sex," Jaclyn said breathlessly, then glanced away, not wanting to see Jamie's reaction was.

Jamie let out a long breath and said, "And?"

"And?"

"And," Jamie nodded. "Jackie, there's something more."

"Well, I didn't really want to shag and all, but I felt like I had to, you know?" Jaclyn asked, bringing her eyes to meet Jamie's.

"At least he wasn't cheating on you," Jamie muttered. "He wasn't cheating on you, was he?"

"No," Jaclyn said hastily. "No, he wasn't. It was upon my own accord, too, before you can continue assuming the worst."

"Come now, it's my job to ask such questions," Jamie shrugged. "Anything else?"

"Of course there's more," Jaclyn waved her hand in annoyance. "I need to know what that charm is you did to find out if you're pregnant."

It felt like an hour passed in silence before Jamie cleared her throat. Blinking furiously, she asked, "Come again?"

"Don't make me say it again," Jaclyn said quietly.

"You drank tonight even though you think you might be pregnant?" Jamie asked, her eyes wide. "Jaclyn - "

"I know, it was stupid!" Jaclyn interrupted the up-and-coming lecture she really didn't want to receive. "When you were first suspecting, didn't you want to pretend that it wasn't happening - as though the pretending alone would make it go away?"

"Yeah," Jamie admitted, nodding.

"Anyways - "

"You didn't, like, use protection?" Jamie asked, trying not to show just how surprised she was at the situation Jaclyn had managed to get ensnared in.

"Yes, yes," Jaclyn said quickly, wishing this conversation could just be over already. "We did the spell every time."

"Then there's really - "

"It's just, you know, I'm late and scared and - "

"Okay, okay, don't worry about it," Jamie shook her hands, heaving herself off of her bed and over to her trunk. "I won't ask any more questions."

"Somehow I doubt that," Jaclyn huffed, pulling her feet underneath her as she watched Jamie search for her book.

"Do you want my help or not?" Jamie asked, flipping through the pages as she sat back down on the bed, one foot tucked underneath her. "All right, here it is. Just wanted to make sure I get the incantation right."

"It's not going to hurt, is it?" Jaclyn asked, biting her lip as Jamie reached for her wand.

"Yes, Jaclyn, excruciating pain," Jamie rolled her eyes. "Move your hands."

"Fine," Jaclyn threw Jamie a dirty look before obeying her.

_"Revelaresecretus,"_ Jamie said offhandedly, watching Jaclyn's abdomen intently.

Seeing this, Jaclyn glanced down to see a green orb floating above her stomach. She felt a wave of panic roll though her.

"Oh, God, what does that mean?"

"You're fine," Jamie shrugged, waving her hand through the orb. "Want to see what it looks like when you are pregnant?"

"Not especially," Jaclyn admitted, swallowing hard. "I actually feel a bit nauseous at the moment."

"Well, it's not morning sickness, I can tell you that much," Jamie shrugged, getting to her feet again to put her book back in its proper place. "Look, I know how you feel about unsolicited advice - "

"Yet, somehow I think you're going to give it anyhow," Jaclyn sighed, watching the remaining specks of magic flicker out in front of her.

"It's what I do," Jamie replied, pulling one of Remus's sweatshirts out of her trunk. She pulled it on before saying, "I'm not going to pretend that I'm older and wiser or any of that bullshit, because I'm not. However, it's my own opinion that if you're going to think you're pregnant every time you have sex, you probably aren't ready to be having it."

"But - "

"Jac, listen to me," Jamie urged, sitting back down. "I'm not saying you're immature or anything like that. I just think you should wait until you're one hundred percent sure that the person you're with is worthy of something as big as sex. Hell - it took me how long with Remus and I knew he was my soul mate ages ago."

Jaclyn was silent, so Jamie continued and said, "Besides, you don't want to have a baby right now. Don't get me wrong - this baby is going to be a blessing, I'm sure, but that doesn't mean either of us are ready for the responsibilities we're about to dive into headfirst."

Jaclyn sighed heavily, looking at the palms of her hands. "You know, it's not that I don't like Mani it's just, well, he's - "

"Not Sirius," Jamie smirked.

Jaclyn gave Jamie a surprised look, but before she could say anything more, Lauren stumbled into the room, giggling like mad. The two more-or-less sober girls exchanged an amused look before Lauren tried to walk into the room.

"I think it's my turn," Jaclyn sighed, getting to her feet to aid Lauren into bed.

"Better you than me," Jamie shrugged, pulling back her blankets and crawling into bed.

Jaclyn steered Lauren into the bathroom and, a few moments later, walked out as she let Lauren attend to her business.

"Hey, Jamie?"

"Yeah?" Jamie asked, lifting her head up a bit and staring across the dimly lit room.

"You might not be much older, but that doesn't mean you aren't any wiser," Jaclyn said quietly. "You've been through a lot more hell than half of us."

"Without a little hell, you wouldn't be able to appreciate heaven."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I had hoped that this would have been up sooner, but a few things have gotten in the way. What might those things be do you ask?_

_Well, first of all, I'm watching "Hidalgo" as I watch this, so for the past almost three hours I've only been writing during the commercials, which isn't really a huge amount of time if you ask me. However, it's freaking "Hidalgo" and that's probably one of my all time favourite movies. Viggo Mortenson and horses? What more do you need._

_Second, my darling cousin, La Mariposa, and I have started co-writing a story. It's called "Whisper of a Thrill" and you should most definitely check it out. Our name is Kamers Of Carp. It rotates back and forth between POV's and I happen to be writing the SB/OC portion of the story. :-)_

_Third, I finally got around to making a website for "LMBYD." There's a link in my profile. Make sure y'all check out the Acknowledgements part and say a little something on the tag board thing._

_I think that's about it. I currently have the beginnings of strep throat (yes! wait...) so that either means there will be lots more updates in the future or I'll be too sick to move. I do have to go to class every so often, too, and I've only gone to one this week..so hopefully I get better soon._

_Holy long author's note, Batman. Thanks for reading and make sure you let me know what you though._


	25. Would You Go With Me?

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Would You Go With Me?" is by Josh Turner and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-five: Would You Go With Me?**

_If I gave you my hand would you take it  
And make me the happiest man in the world?_

"Miss Williams," Sirius smiled, clad in dress robes of a deep blue, accenting his sapphire eyes, and offering his arm to Jamie when she descended from the girls' dormitory.

"Why thank you, Mr. Black," Jamie smiled, taking his arm congenially, and then smoothing the fabric of her dark red robes over her belly self-consciously. Then, straightening her face, she said, "This is your last chance to back out of this - are you sure you want to be seen fraternizing with Hogwarts resident pregnant girl?"

Sirius gave Jamie a contemptuous look and said, "And, once again, I'm going to tell you that there is no one else I'd want to be with tonight and to shut your trap about being pregnant - I don't care."

"Are you sure there's no one else you'd want to be with?" Jamie asked as Jaclyn waved at the two of them in emerald robes, Mani leading her out of the common room.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius straightened himself up, shooting Jamie a look.

"Of course you don't," Jamie grinned. "Now, come on, let's go cut a rug."

"Did you just say 'cut a rug'?" Lily asked, coming up behind the two of them in gold robes.

"Yes, I did," Jamie nodded.

"I don't know if I can cut a rug," Sirius played along, looking concerned. "I can, however, boogie down."

"Can you bop? I'm afraid all of my dates need to be able to bop," Jamie asked, her expression just as full of concern as Sirius's was.

"No, but I can salsa," Sirius offered. "Is that all right?"

"Well, I suppose," Jamie nodded.

"Are you two really having this conversation?" Lily asked, dumbstruck.

"I think we are," Sirius mused. "Anyways, Lily, where is Prongs?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Lily admitted, looking around the common room. "He said - oh - there he is!" A grin split across her face and she began to back away from Sirius and Jamie. "I'll see you two later."

"Apparently Prongs is going to do it tonight," Sirius said excitedly under his breath to Jamie.

"Are you serious?" Jamie asked, her eyes wide. She looked across the room to see that her cousin did actually look a bit paler than normal. "He didn't tell me that."

"He wasn't sure until about an hour ago," Sirius nodded. "He's incredibly nervous."

"Does he actually think she's going to say no?" Jamie asked, watching the two. "She's more smitten by him than he is with her. I never thought that'd be possible."

"You're not the only one," Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "Anyways, d'you reckon we should head down to the festivities?"

"I think that sounds like an amazing idea," Jamie agreed, taking Sirius's arm once again as the two headed out of the common room.

* * *

"James, where are we going?" Lily giggled, putting a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter as he pulled her through the main entrance.

"Not very far," James replied, squeezing her hand tightly. "Just out to the lake."

"Why?" Lily asked for the umpteenth time since they left the common room, a huge grin on her face in excitement.

"You'll see!" James replied, grinning back at her excitedly.

"It's, um, the beech tree," Lily said, looking confused, as they came to a stop by the lake.

"Yep," James nodded, swallowing hard and looking out over the lake.

"All right, I'll bite," Lily shrugged, following his gaze. "Are you going to tell me what's going on now?"

"I think so," James let out a long breath and then turned to face Lily. "Lily, there's, ah, something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What's going on?" Lily asked, biting her lip.

"Well, er, uh," James became increasingly nervous, which caused Lily to let out a laugh.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," James nodded, taking a deep breath. "Look, Lily, I'm not terribly good at this sort of thing, but hear me out."

"Of course," Lily nodded.

"I love you - I really do," James started, meeting her emerald eyes with his hazel ones. "I know that you didn't like me very much when we started Hogwarts and all and, well, I don't really blame you. Hindsight shows just how much of a prat I was. Nevertheless, even though I've been hopelessly crushing on you since third year, I never thought I'd be able to love you in the way I do.

"Lils, you are the first thought I have every morning and the last before I go to bed each night," James continued, wringing his hands. "I don't even want to try to imagine a future without you in it by my side. I want to grow old with you and I can only pray that you'd want to do the same with me."

"Of course - " Lily began, but James put a finger to her lips.

"Almost finished, I promise," James smiled. "Lily, I know we've only been together for just over eight months, but I honestly know that you are the only one for me. You complete me and fill that empty void in my heart. And, well," he busied himself by rummaging in the pocket of his dress robed, pulling out the small scarlet box that James had been sparing a look at least once a day since he showed it to Sirius. Holding the box in his hand, he dropped to one knee and opened it to show the sparkling diamond and emerald encrusted band. "Will you marry me?"

Lily gasped in shock. Truthfully, she had seen this coming, but not so soon. "Um, wow, James, yes."

"Yes?" James asked, his eyes wide.

Lily nodded, jerking James to his feet and kissing him hard on the lips. "Yes."

James breathed in a mixture of relief and excitement, pulling the ring out of the box and holding it up for Lily. "Yes?"

"Yes," Lily nodded again, leaning into James as he slipped the ring on her finger.

* * *

Once they reached the Great Hall, Jamie let out a surprised sigh. The Hall was elaborately decorated with strings of faeries illuminating even the darkest corners and garlands of flowers bringing colour to the room. There were ten or so round tables littering the floor, each donned with large centrepieces - each table had a different type of flower - and there were cards atop each plate that showed who was to sit at each spot.

"Oh, God, it's gorgeous," Jamie smiled, taking in their surroundings as Sirius steered her around the tables, searching for their seats.

"Ah, here we are," Sirius announced, stopping at a table that seated eight. He pulled out Jamie's chair quite gentlemanly before sitting next to her. "How do they know who comes with who?"

Jamie shrugged. "Magic?"

"I actually think that Professor McGonagall is a closet gossip hound," Sirius nodded, Jamie laughing at how serious his face was. They looked up at the professor, who was seated at the Head table, who was looking out at the students with a slightly disapproving look on her face.

"See, she's probably taking notes right now," Sirius joked, which made Jamie roll her eyes.

"Who do you suppose we're sitting with?" Jamie asked, straightening up in her chair and squinting her eyes as she tried to look at the other cards.

"I'm sure we're with Prongs and Lily - oh, yeah, that's Prongs right there, isn't it?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "They did the seating though, didn't they?"

"Padfoot was complaining that Flitwick tried to make it random, but they switched Narcissa and whoever she managed to come with out of our table for them," Sirius smirked.

"Fair trade," Jamie smiled. "Jaclyn and Mani are way over there with Lauren and Peter."

"Can you believe they're together again?"

"Jaclyn and Mani?"

"No, Wormtail and Lauren," Sirius replied, giving her a look.

"Oh, no, I can't," Jamie shook her head. "But, whatever floats their boat."

"I suppose," Sirius started, but stopped when he saw a beaming Lily and James stride toward their table.

"Hello," Lily grinned, not trying to hide the ring on her finger.

"Hurray!" Jamie squealed, jumping to her feet and launching herself at Lily, nearly knocking her off balance. "And James!" She turned and wrapped her arms around James, squeezing him tight.

"Er, thanks," James chuckled when Jamie pulled away from him, looking like she was about to cry. "Oh, stop that."

"My little James is all growed up!" Jamie exclaimed before bursting into tears and burying her face in James's shoulder.

James gave Sirius and Lily a helpless look, both of which looked very amused with the situation as a whole. After a few moments, James patted Jamie lightly on the back and she straightened up, wiping her face.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," she blubbered, trying to calm herself. "It's just my emotions are up and down because of hormones and I can't - "

"Why don't we just sit down," James interrupted, obviously fearing that the wrong words would incur another emotional breakdown from his cousin.

Before long, the other counterparts of their table - Alice Stewart, another Gryffindor, who had come with Benjy Fenwick, a Ravenclaw, and Donald Pritchard and Laura Troy, both of which were Slytherins - joined the four. James and Sirius kept sending angry glares at Donald and Laura, who refused to join in the conversation between the other six. 'At least Snape is on the other side of the room,' Jamie thought to herself and, judging by the expression on Lily's face, she was thinking the same thing.

Once all of the tables were filled, Professor Dumbledore stood at the front of the room, a hush filling the room as it always did when Dumbledore spoke. The professor was wearing extravagant purple robes, the stars glittering at them, much like his eyes. Jamie swore she saw some of them streak across the robes as a shooting star would.

"I would hate to keep you all from the lovely meal and merriment that will soon follow," Professor Dumbledore started, surveying the seventh years. "However, among the many things you have learned these past years is the fact that I cannot help but greet you all at the beginning of a feast.

"As I am sure you are all more than aware, the day after tomorrow marks your departure from the fair grounds of Hogwarts that you have called home for the better part of seven years. Each and every one of you has had a far different experience within these hallowed walls. You have made friends and enemies, lost loved ones, came upon surprises, and learned things that cannot be taught in a classroom. I only hope that the happy memories and cherished friends you have accumulated stay with you for all of your days and you will be able to think back fondly upon the years spent here."

The Headmaster paused for a moment and a few students actually stifled a sob at the words he was saying. After a moment, he clapped his hands together and continued forward.

"Now that that is out of the way," Dumbledore smiled fondly, "let us eat!"

The tables filled with food varying from pork chops to turkey and complete with numerous sides of mashed potatoes, sprouts, and a variety of other foods. Jamie smiled as she watched Lily dig into the bowl of potatoes in front of her. She let out a laugh as she remembered when they had first arrived at Hogwarts and how James and Jamie had laughed at the gasp of surprise Lily had let out when the food had appeared on the table.

"What?" Sirius asked, passing her a roll.

"I was thinking about when we first came to Hogwarts," Jamie explained, still smiling. "How Lily was so amazed by all of the magic."

"Hey - you guys lucked out by coming from magical families," Lily retorted, not noticing the two Slytherins giving her a nasty look. "All I knew came from books that I'd picked up at Diagon Alley after I got my letter."

"Still, it was rather humorous," James nodded. "Remember how we'd tell her how all sorts of things were due to magic?"

"Oh, yeah," Jamie grinned, thinking back. "Like how the Titanic actually sank because one of our great-grandparents was angry at a bunch of the passengers."

The others laughed at this idea, but Lily spoke up. "You know, I got a question wrong on my History of Magic OWL because you prats told me that," which only made the others laugh even more.

After the six friendly seventh years swapped anecdotes about their earlier years at Hogwarts, Jamie reached across the table and inspected the centrepiece.

"I bet you five Galleons I could get it out of the Hall for you," Sirius grinned, watching her eye it.

"And I bet you five Galleons it turns into something nasty if you try to take it off the table," Jamie shot back, giving Sirius a cheeky look.

"Sure, take all the fun out of the situation by inserting logic," Sirius sighed, leaning back in his chair and massaging the front of his robes.

"Padfoot, you're foul," James said, not looking up from his food.

"I aim to please you, Prongs," Sirius smirked.

"Lily, what do you think of centrepieces like this for the wedding?" Jamie asked. "You know, maybe not quite as elaborate, of course, but - "

"Oh, that's right," Benjy interrupted. "You're getting married to Remus Lupin, right?"

Jamie nodded and smiled. "That's me."

"Why isn't he here tonight?" Alice asked, glancing at Sirius, who was trying to conceal a belch behind his hand.

"He wasn't feeling well tonight," Jamie replied, shrugging. "It's too bad, really, because he would've loved to have seen all of the faeries." She glanced around at the garlands.

"I'm honestly expecting Frank to ask me as soon as I see him," Alice smiled, thinking of her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, who had finished school the year prior. "It's been murder not seeing him every day."

"You mean we're going to have to end our hot, steamy love affair?" Benjy joked. Most everyone at Hogwarts speculated that he was gay, but no one actually knew for sure.

"Alas, Benjy, I'm afraid so," Alice replied, feigning distress. "We'll always have those happy memories together."

After the others finished laughing, Laura spoke up for the first time, shocking the others. She gave Jamie a haughty look before saying, "You know, Narcissa Black seems to think you're pregnant. Is it true?"

"Uh, isn't it a little obvious?" Jamie asked, placing a hand on her bloated belly. "I've kind of given up on trying to hide it. It's not like you can have a secret in this school anyways."

Alice sighed heavily, giving Jamie a sympathetic look. "I couldn't even begin to imagine having a child this young."

"Well, we weren't exactly planning to have one," Jamie shrugged. Then, to take the attention off her, she said, "Er, did you know Lily and James are getting married?"

As Alice turned to Lily and James, her eyes wide, Jamie breathed a sigh of relief, glancing at Sirius, who was giving her a concerned look. Before he could say anything, though, the Headmaster instructed everyone to get to their feet. When they did, the tables and chairs disappeared, except for a few near the back of the Hall. Quite suddenly, instruments appeared on the platform where the Head table normally stood and the members of The Witching Hour, a popular wizarding band, ran onto the stage, quickly beginning to play one of their current hits, "In the Broom Closet."

The others began to dissipate into the crowd of students, but Jamie took a step back, running into Sirius. He took hold of her elbow and bent over to shout into her ear.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jamie shouted back over the music.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Sirius asked, looking concerned again.

Weighing the options, Jamie nodded and allowed Sirius to lead her out of the Great Hall. As they passed a group of Slytherins, they all gave each other knowing looks and began laughing. Jamie felt herself flush, but remembered what Remus had said and tried to walk by in a dignified manner.

"I am so glad to be getting out of here," Jamie admitted, not taking into account where Sirius was taking her. "I can't stand the gossipy girls anymore."

"You were one of them once," Sirius smirked.

"To an extent, yes," Jamie agreed, crossing her arms. "I'm not proud of it, though."

"No one is," Sirius shrugged.

As they continued forward, they passed a window, which was letting the full moon's light to flood the corridor. Jamie sighed heavily, looking at the silver orb in the sky and swearing that she could hear a wolf's howl in the distance.

"What's on your mind?" Sirius asked.

"I'm just worried about Remus," Jamie replied. "He hasn't had to be alone in such a long time."

"He'll be all right," Sirius assured Jamie, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. "He was alone for such a long time before the three of us started to get hairy."

"I just don't like the thought of him being alone during something so horrible," Jamie admitted. "He doesn't deserve that."

Sirius nodded. "No one does."

"I'm actually a bit nervous for when we move into our house," Jamie admitted, sparing Sirius a sheepish look. "It scares me."

"You can always stay somewhere else on those nights," Sirius suggested.

Jamie shook her head. "No, I don't want to discourage him. I know how Remus's mind works and he'll come to some daft conclusion of me being ashamed of him or something like that." She shook her head in dismay. "Besides, he swears that his transformations will be easier knowing I'm there."

Sirius glanced at Jamie, the expression on her face quite doubtful. He couldn't help but think that the wolf wouldn't care if it was Jamie or a random passer-by - any human was good enough for it.

"Well, if you ever need someone to come over and either tame the beast or just be there for you," Sirius offered, giving her what he hoped was an encouraging look. "Don't be afraid to let me know."

"Thanks, Sirius," Jamie nodded, smiling. "That means a lot to me."

After a few moments of heavy silence, Jamie cleared her throat and said, "Sirius, where are we going?"

"The Astronomy Tower," Sirius replied without missing a beat.

"The Astro - what?" Jamie asked, giving Sirius a wry look. "Why?"

"I didn't think you'd want to go back to the common room already," Sirius shrugged. "It's a good place just to be alone, especially on the nights we have balls and whatnot because people either think it's an obvious place for teachers to look or they go down to the gardens. Even though we won't be snogging and there's no reason for us to care, teachers never come up here."

"I'm not going to ask how you know that," Jamie rolled her eyes.

* * *

"The Astronomy Tower?" Jaclyn asked Mani in a hushed voice, following him through the entrance.

"Sure," Mani shrugged. "The gardens are so crowded and no one will be up here."

"All right," Jaclyn shrugged, a bit bummed that they had left the Gala so early, but not caring so much at the same time. She had been seated next to Gideon Prewett, who kept giving her looks that made her feel queasy despite Mani's presence.

Jaclyn took a moment to revel in how the clear sky was causing the entire tower to be cast in a dim glow, making her smile. However, the smile faded slightly when Mani stopped in a dark corner and put his hands on her hips.

"This all right?" Mani asked, then kissing her before she could give an answer.

As Mani trailed his lips down her neck and to her bare collarbone, Jaclyn tried to remind herself that this was her boyfriend - the boy she, well, liked. That was good enough, right? She tried to push how Sirius's robes brought out the blue in his eyes, which were already such a piercing shade that allowed all of his emotions to be projected to the world, and how wonderfully they clung to his body, making the muscles underneath them easier to envision than with his normal school robes. She forced herself to forget how much she wanted his own rough hands to be trying to trail up and under her emerald dress robes. She wanted to make herself believe that even though she wanted to Sirius's lips to be exploring her mouth that she wanted Mani's so much more.

As Mani tried to push her robes off, Jaclyn caught her breath, realizing with a start that this couldn't happen. She put her hand on his, pushing it away.

"What's wrong?" Mani asked, his voice rough.

"I can't do this, Mani," Jaclyn insisted, trying to pull away from him but backing into the wall behind her, realizing that she was trapped.

"Oh, come on, Jaclyn," Mani groaned, looking quite annoyed. "Why not?"

"It isn't right," Jaclyn replied, trying to fix her robes around her. "Don't you feel that it isn't right?"

"It sure was right a few days ago," Mani complained. "Come on, Jaclyn - we're almost done with Hogwarts and we're hardly going to be able to see each other."

"Mani, I mean that I don't think we can be together anymore," Jaclyn explained, biting her lip. "This isn't working."

"What do you mean it isn't working?" Mani asked, his eyes angry.

"It just isn't," Jaclyn tried to push him away, but he didn't move. "Please let me go."

"No," Mani growled, narrowing his eyes and allowing his hands to explore Jaclyn's body again. "Not yet."

Suddenly, voices echoed into the high ceilings of the Tower. Jaclyn instantly recognized them as Sirius and Jamie's, causing her heart to flip.

"I see what you're saying, but I don't know. I really like raspberry jam better than strawberry."

"Really? I don't like the seeds very much."

"You get seeds with strawberry, too, though," Jamie was saying as they entered the tower.

"Get off of me, Mani!" Jaclyn said angrily, trying to push him off one more time.

"Jac?" Jamie asked into the darkness, her voice concerned.

"What the hell!" Sirius exclaimed, his voice full of anger.

As though he had a sixth sense for it, he stormed over to the corner where Mani and Jaclyn were. He put an arm on Mani's shoulder and pulled him to his feet.

"What do you think you're doing, Patil?" Sirius asked, his fist pulled back and ready to strike.

"What does it look like, Black?" Mani asked, narrowing his eyes and trying to break free of Sirius's solid grasp. "I'm sure you recognized it with your experience."

Jaclyn stumbled to her feet, rushing to Jamie's side, who put an arm around her cousin as they surveyed the scene. Jaclyn was crying and her hair was rumpled, which, to her, was reason enough for Sirius to punch Mani in the face.

Seeing her state, Sirius turned back to Mani. "I'm pretty sure Jaclyn was saying no to you. Why were you being so pushy to my friend?"

"She's my girlfriend," Mani narrowed his eyes. "I can do whatever I want to her."

"Wrong answer," Sirius shrugged, throwing his fist forward and hitting Mani square in the jaw. "I'd now like for you to apologize to Jaclyn."

"Piss off, Black," Mani spat, staggering to his feet and glaring at the three of them before faltering out of the Astronomy Tower.

Sirius shook his hand out and walked over to where Jamie was trying to comfort Jaclyn. Between sobs, Jaclyn was trying to explain to Jamie what had happened.

"I'd remembered what you had said to me yesterday," Jaclyn managed. "And I - I didn't want to have sex with him. I couldn't stop thinking about… I just didn't want to anymore."

"It's okay, Jaclyn," Jamie soothed, rubbing Jaclyn's back. "It's all right."

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Sirius asked sternly, glancing at the entrance to make sure Mani wasn't lurking anywhere.

Jaclyn shook her head mutely, playing with her fingers.

"Otherwise I'd have to kill him," Sirius said, his voice making the two wonder if he wasn't completely serious.

"Let's get you down to the common room," Jamie said quietly, an arm around Jaclyn's waist. "It'll be just fine - I promise."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Just to clarify, I'm basing the male dress robes more on what Jo says in the books - not how the movies show them. I see them a lot like normal robes, but a bit more lavish and all that. The girls' robes, however, are sort of like the movie, meaning they're more like dresses than actual robes themselves._

_When they were talking about the different ways to say dance, I really wanted to say "get jiggy with it" or "get your freak on" but I wanted to stay at least halfway in the times. Sigh. And she's lucky I kept the below comment.. :)_

* * *

_As kamers's beta-reader now, I feel I have the right to place my comments on here directly. I LOVED it, and sincerely wish Jaclyn (a.k.a., me, lol) would just get together with Sirius already! C'mon! I want my puppy dog!_

_That is all._

_-La Mariposa_


	26. Free Bird

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Free Bird" is by Lynyrd Skynyrd and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall   
Chapter Twenty-six: Free Bird**

_If I leave here tomorrow  
Would you still remember me?  
For I must be travelling on now  
There's too many places I haven't seen_

The four boys who called themselves the Marauders awoke with quite a start their last day at Hogwarts.

"Bloody hell!" James shouted, stumbling out of four-poster as someone continued slamming on the door to their dormitories.

"Wazzappenin'?" Peter asked sleepily, pulling the hangings open from around his bed as Sirius and Remus did the same.

"Make it stop," Remus grumbled, putting his pillow over his head in an effort to block out the noise.

"What?" James snapped, yanking the heavy oak door open to reveal a very disgruntled Mani Patil. James squinted at him, as he wasn't wearing his glasses, and called, "Padfoot, it's for you."

Sirius managed to get out of his bed and strode across the room as he stretched lazily. "Oh, hello, Mani."

"What in Merlin's name did you do to me, Black?" Mani asked, his eyes narrowed into near slits.

Sirius couldn't help but let out a barking laugh, which caused his friends to close in for a better look, James with his glasses on. Before them stood whom they knew as Mani, but with some special added features - mainly two breasts and a curvaceous lower body.

"You are blaming this on me?" Sirius asked, not bothering to stop smiling. "Are you sure that you didn't do this to yourself?"

"Is there something you want to tell us, Patil?" James goaded, obviously having helped Sirius in this endeavour.

"Just tell me how to make it right," Mani said slowly, obviously on the verge of attacking the four.

"Mani, that would mean we did it to you and we definitely didn't," Sirius shrugged as Remus rolled his eyes and retreated into the bedroom to finish his packing.

"Don't play stupid, Black," Mani spat, extending a warning finger at him. "Everyone knows that you did this exact same thing to Snape in the fifth year."

"What?" James feigned surprise. "That wasn't us! Why would you blame such a scandalous deed on an innocent group of friends as us?"

"Let's see - you call yourself 'marauders,'" Mani gave him an 'are-you-stupid' look.

"In my own defence, I warned them when they first took that name that it would give the wrong impression," Remus spoke up, folding a pair of socks. "You know, that's the second time in a few months I've had to explain myself. Perhaps we should change the name now."

Suddenly, a wolf whistle escaped the now open door across the hallway. Gideon and Fabian Prewett were standing next to one another, both laughing.

"Looking hot, Mani," Fabian joked.

"Nice work, guys," Gideon saluted the Marauders before they hurried down the stairs.

"I'll ask you one more time," Mani started again, but was interrupted by yet another wolf whistle - this one from a girl.

"Oh, Mani, nice boobs," Jamie smirked, coming up behind him with an armful of robes and pushing him and the other boys out of the way to go into the dormitory. "Although, I'd say that with your size you probably need better support."

"Jamie," Mani pleaded, his eyes wide, "you're good at charms - will you put me straight?"

"Uh, er, no," Jamie replied. "Love, can you put these in your trunk? I've engorged my trunk to its full capacity."

"Yeah, put them on my bed," Remus nodded.

"Please?" Mani tried again, James, Sirius, and Peter retreating from the doorway.

"No, Mani," Jamie shook her head, making a face at him.

"Why not?" Mani asked angrily.

"Let's see," Jamie furrowed her brow and ticked the reasons off on her fingers. "One, you tried to force my cousin into doing something she didn't want to do. Two, you always tried to cheat off me in History of Magic second year. Three, you grabbed my arse in the fifth year and then claimed not to have done it. Four, Benjy Fenwick told me that you were trying to spread rumours around that I was pregnant with Lucius Malfoy's child - who, I might add, I haven't seen since he finished school nor even fathomed shagging. Need I go on?"

"No, I think that's good," Mani replied, looking defeated and allowed the door to the dormitory to swing shut.

"So, is he stuck like that forever?" Jamie asked hopefully.

"It'll wear off tonight some time," James grinned. "I'm sure he'll think twice before being a git, though."

"No, guys like him never learn," Jamie sighed, helping Remus put his clothes into his trunk.

After a few silent moments of packing and exchanging of items that had found their way into other parts of the room, Jamie let out a shriek of laughter as Remus carefully tackled and pinned her onto his bed.

"Oh, please," James complained loudly, throwing a rolled up pair of socks at the two of them.

"Honestly," Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's our last day here."

"Exactly," Jamie said before bursting into laughter as Remus began to tickle her sides. "Stop it!"

"Hey, where is the map?" James asked, searching around in his trunk worriedly.

"I haven't seen it since the full moon before last," Sirius shrugged. "I wasn't in charge of it then, though."

"Oops," Peter looked nervous, biting his lip. "I - uh - might have lost it."

"Wormtail," James gasped in a tone that made it sound as though Peter had committed a murder. "How could you lose something as sacred as the Marauder's Map?"

"Sorry?" Peter offered lamely, his face turning bright red. "I didn't mean to."

"Now, Prongs, think about it," Sirius stuck up for Peter, trying to ease his best mate's mind. "Think about it - what are we going to need with a map of Hogwarts when we aren't at Hogwarts?"

"I guess," James nodded. "Hopefully it will land in the right people's hands and they will continue the proud legacy of troublemakers that are the Marauders. Well done, Wormtail."

"Beautifully said," Sirius nodded. "You know, Moony's probably going to confiscate it or something when he's a teacher."

"I am not going to be a teacher," Remus spoke up, looking up from where he was with Jamie. "Will you stop saying I'm going to be?"

Jamie took the opportunity to roll out from underneath him and got to her feet daintily. She gave Remus a defiant look and then said, "You know, I think you'd be a good teacher. You're the only reason I got through Defence with passing marks."

"I think I'd be an awful teacher," Remus shook his head.

"You know what, Remus, you're probably right," Jamie rolled her eyes. "In fact, you'd probably be ruddy awful at anything you do, so you might as well keel right now."

"Might as well," Remus nodded his head forcefully.

"Glad we had this talk."

"As am I."

"Well, now we know whose fault it will be when Moony kicks the bucket," Sirius shot a cheeky look at Jamie.

"You'll never take me alive," Jamie joked, then leaned forward to accept a kiss from Remus. "I want a picture of all of us in the common room before we leave."

"You act as though you're never going to see us again," James pointed out, pulling a lumpy looking sock out from his drawer.

"One can only wish," Jamie smirked as James emptied the contents of the sock onto his four-poster, revealing a half a dozen Snitches, which he had charmed not to move.

"Bloody hell, Prongs," Peter gasped, glancing over at the sight.

"You nicked all of those?" Sirius grinned, looking rather impressed.

"Yeah," James nodded, grinning back. "I retired them when I realized Lily wasn't terribly impressed with my massive Quidditch skills."

"She obviously doesn't mind the size of your head, though," Jamie rolled her eyes, and then wrenched the door open. "I'll see you lot later."

After she left, James ran his hand through his hair and said, "There's nothing wrong with the size of my head, is there?"

"That's now what she - " Remus started, then thought better of it. "Nevermind, Prongs. Your head is fine."

"She's ruddy crazy," James shook his head, putting the Snitches back in his sock and placing it in his trunk.

"Now, what are you going to do with them?" Remus asked logically.

"I'll think of a good use eventually," James shrugged, going back to the rest of his packing.

"That's what I was afraid of," Remus sighed, not able to conceal a smile playing on his lips.

* * *

After Jamie had taken what seemed like dozens of pictures (the boys kept managing to mess them up in some fashion), the eight friends retreated down to the carriages that would carry them to the train waiting to take them to London. Remus and Jamie would be Apparating straight from Platform 9 and ¾ to their house where Jamie's parents had already taken some of their furniture. Sirius, James, and Peter would go to Sirius's flat, while Lily, Lauren, and Jaclyn were going to return to their parents' homes until they found a flat of their own. 

Once on the Hogwarts Express, the eight friends crammed themselves into their usual compartment. Throughout the years, despite whoever might have been dating and hating whom, they managed to always end up in the compartment.

"I don't think it's really hit me yet," Lauren said quietly, seated between Peter's legs on the floor of the compartment, Peter's back rested against the compartment door.

"Can you believe we're never going to ride this train again?" Lily implored, an astonished look upon her face.

"I, for one, am more than happy to be getting out of Hogwarts," Sirius sighed, raising his arms to rest his hands behind his head leisurely.

"Oh, come off it, Padfoot," James raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not the least bit sad about leaving?"

"Well, of course I feel a bit morose about it - it's the first place I actually felt as though I was at home," Sirius shrugged. "But, honestly, I'm ready to move onto the next chapter of my life."

"It is rather exciting," Jamie agreed, nodding her head. "It's as though our lives are actually beginning."

"I don't think they're beginning so much as continuing," Remus corrected her, his hand firmly planted on her belly, her own hand on top of his.

"This is probably the heaviest conversation I ever heard in this compartment," Lily let out a laugh.

"Hey - I've been meaning to ask," Peter spoke up, his eyes rooted on Remus and Jamie's hands. "Have you come up with any names yet?"

Remus and Jamie exchanged looks before Jamie ventured, "It's a bit of a sore subject at the moment, actually."

"No, you just have terrible taste in names," Remus took his hand off Jamie's and gave her a look.

"Well, excuse me if I don't take that to heart come from someone named 'Remus Lupin,'" Jamie countered, raising an eyebrow warningly.

"My name happens to have a lot of history behind it," Remus retorted, straightening up. "In fact, the etymology is quite - "

"Whatever you say, Wolfy McWerewolf," Jamie rolled her eyes and put a hand up.

"Last time I checked, you seemed pretty interested in sharing that name in a few months time," Remus snapped angrily, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well - "

"Wait, wait, wait," Lauren interrupted, raising her voice to cut off Jamie's. "'Wolfy McWerewolf'? Werewolf?"

The compartment fell completely silent, everyone's eyes on either Lauren, who was either very confused of very angry, and Remus, who was either still red from the argument or the growing embarrassment in the situation.

"Er," Remus began, swallowing hard.

"You _are_ a werewolf?" Lauren asked, her tone not harsh, but more questioning.

"What?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Well, it's just I'd mentioned something to Peter a few months back about the possibility and he completely denied it," Lauren replied, turning and giving Peter an angry look.

"Lauren, I was sworn to secrecy," Peter said quickly, looking at his friends for support.

"I did make them promise not to say anything," Remus came to Peter's rescue.

"But the rest of you knew?" Lauren asked, looking quite annoyed as she glanced around the compartment at her other friends.

"We figured it out," James said hastily, glancing at Sirius and Peter.

"As did I," Lily piped up.

"He'd have to be daft not to tell me," Jamie shrugged.

"I asked," Jaclyn managed a small smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lauren asked, meeting Remus's eyes.

"Well, for starters, we haven't been the best of friends at Hogwarts, have we?" Remus asked, obviously still a bit short from his transformation. "And second, I would've told you had you asked."

"Oh, well," Lauren replied, quite speechless. "I see."

"At least you know now," Sirius shrugged, giving her an irritated look.

"I guess," Lauren said quietly, looking thoughtful.

"Anyways, names," Lily tried to take the subject off Remus's lycanthropy.

"I happen to love 'Sirius,'" Sirius said, recovering from Lauren's outburst. "Just putting it out there, you know."

"Yeah, we'll definitely consider that one," Jamie rolled her eyes.

"Hey," James interrupted suddenly, jumping to his feet and climbing on top of the seat and pulling himself to his compartment.

"Hey," Sirius replied, saluting to James.

"No, I've got an idea," James's muffled voice came out. He jumped back down, almost landing on top of Peter and Lauren. "Lily and Jaclyn, get off of the seat for a moment."

"All right," Lily said as she and Jaclyn both got up, causing the small compartment to become much more cramped than normal.

"What are you doing, Prongs?" Peter asked, sitting up higher to watch as James pulled the cushions off the seat, leaving only the wooden bottom frame that the cushions normally sat upon.

With a grin at his friends, James pulled a pocket-knife out of his sleeve and bent over the seat. The other seven friends crowded around him.

"'The Marauders and Company,'" Lily read aloud after he hastily scrawled it into the wood and moved on to write his full name.

James straightened up and held the knife up. "Who's next?"

"Isn't this kind of, er, vandalism?" Jaclyn asked.

"Oh please," James rolled his eyes. "They'll never know and if they do find out, it's not like they can't just wave their wands and make it go away."

"Good point," Jamie nodded, taking the knife and hurrying to carve her name into the wood next.

One by one, the others followed in suit, adding things like hearts around two names, paw prints, and the years they attended school. Once they were finished, they sat back down as though they expected someone to burst in.

"I think that we have now officially left our mark on Hogwarts," James grinned, looking quite happy with himself for coming up with the idea.

"Like we hadn't already," Sirius flashed a smile.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I'm sorry that this not only took forever, but is dreadfully short. As you may or may not know, I just started another story and I know myself well enough that if I don't start it while running, I'll lose interest, so I've been devoting a lot of time to it. If you want to read it, it's called "Desperado" and is in my information, obviously. I'm writing another fic with my cousin, La Mariposa, called "Whisper of a Thrill" that you should check out sometime as well. It is submitted under the pen name Kamers of Carp and you can find it in my favourite authors._

_Anyways, enough shameless plugging. Things are going to start moving faster here in "LMBYD," yet there is still quite a long time before it will come to an end, don't you worry._


	27. I Must Go On

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "I Must Go On" is from Jekyll & Hyde and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall   
Chapter Twenty-seven: I Must Go On**

_Who knows where my work will lead me  
Nowhere where you will not need me...  
Just don't leave me on my own  
The only thing I fear is the unknown_

"And, you know, it really wouldn't be that terrible if we didn't have that ruddy intercom system installed," Jaclyn complained, looking up from where she was cutting carrots at James, who was trying to manoeuvre around her small kitchen and listen to Jaclyn at the same time. "I'm an adult - and not only by our standards, but by Muggle as well, so Mum can't say much in that respect, but she does anyway."

"Mh hm," Jamie replied absentmindedly.

Jaclyn popped a carrot in her mouth and crunched, her expression far off for a moment. She swallowed and said, "I'm really quite envious of you."

Jamie snorted. "Why?"

"You have your own house!" Jaclyn looked around. "It's not a palace, but it's a place that you and Remus can call your own."

"Well, I'd invite you to take the spare bedroom until the baby is born, but I don't know if you'd fit in the crib."

"Aw, thanks," Jaclyn said in mock sincerity. "I'm touched by your thought."

"It's what I do," Jamie shrugged, reaching forward and taking a carrot.

"Where is Remus, by the way?" Jaclyn asked, glancing behind her over the half wall and into the sitting room.

"I have no idea," Jamie sighed. "Probably out with a hooker because I won't shag him until after the baby's born."

Jaclyn raised an eyebrow at her cousin, not sure if she wanted to inquire.

"What? Have you ever shagged someone while pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah, just last week," Jaclyn rolled her eyes.

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Why are you so weird?" Jaclyn asked, shaking her head slightly.

"It's part of my charm," Jamie smiled. "Actually, Remus was going out to visit his mum. He hasn't seen her in ages and apparently she bought us some gifts for the baby's nursery."

"Also known as my bedroom."

"Of course," Jamie nodded. "I'm sure Remus won't mind."

Jaclyn popped another piece of carrot. Once she had successfully eaten it, she asked, "Has Lily told you about the wedding?"

"Briefly," Jamie nodded. "I can't believe they're getting married before even Remus and I do."

"I know," Jaclyn agreed. "First Saturday of August."

"I was banking on it being some time after I have the baby so I don't have to be a balloon for at least one joyous occasion," Jamie sighed.

"Well, you just had to go and get knocked up."

"That's it - you can't eat any more of my carrots."

"But, I cut them!" Jaclyn protested, quickly grabbing a handful of the carrots and hiding them in her lap.

"Have you talked to Sirius lately?"

Jamie asked it so suddenly it caught Jaclyn off guard. She opened her mouth, the closed it, still surprised. "Er…not really. Why?"

"I was just curious," Jamie shrugged.

"Do you know something I should know?"

"Jackie, I was just wondering," Jamie insisted, giving Jaclyn an exasperated look.

"I know you better than - "

Before Jaclyn could continue, the telltale sound of someone Apparating filled the room. Jamie looked up hopefully into the sitting room to see Remus standing there, a cardboard box under one arm. He was wearing some of his better robes, which Jaclyn noticed right away, as they didn't have quite as many patches as his others usually did.

"Present!" Jamie exclaimed, getting to her feet and hurrying into the sitting room.

"She went overboard," Remus smirked, setting the box on the dark brown sofa Jamie's parents had given them as they had replaced the old one in their house.

"She's going to be a grandmum," Jaclyn pointed out, spinning in her chair and watching them over the half wall. "It's her right to spoil her grandkids - even if they have yet to be born."

"That's what she said," Remus smiled, spreading his arms to embrace Jamie, who walked passed him to the sofa. "Thanks."

"I saw you this morning," Jamie shrugged, digging in the box, which contained everything from diapers to toys to booties.

Remus shot Jamie a wounded look before kicking her softly in retaliation.

"I hope that bruises," Jamie said offhandedly.

"You two amuse me," Jaclyn said from the kitchen, shoving another carrot in her mouth. "And while I would love to continue being amused, I promised Lily I'd meet her for dinner before the Order meeting. I'll see you both later tonight - both at the meeting and at Sirius's flat?"

"Of course," Jamie nodded, smirking at her cousin, who pocketed another few carrots before giving them a grin and Apparating. Jamie got to her feet and lugged the box off the couch, walking toward the rickety staircase. "I'm going to go put these in the baby's room."

"I really wish you'd give in and find out what the gender is," Remus complained, following her up the stairs.

"I like the element of surprise," Jamie replied.

"I don't," Remus huffed, crossing his arms.

"I'll tell you what," Jamie offered, walking past their own bedroom and into the nursery that was just across the hallway. "Next one we'll find out what the sex is."

"'Next one'?" Remus asked.

"You know full well I wanted to have a big family," Jamie gave Remus a cheeky look as she placed the box in the crib. "You have no say in the matter whatsoever."

"I think I have more say than you give me credit for," Remus shot back, standing behind Jamie and hanging his arms loosely around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder as she sorted through the box.

"Remus?" Jamie asked quietly, letting her arms hang into the crib and leaning back into his chest.

"Yes?"

Jamie turned around in his arms, leaning against the crib, but with his hands still on her hips. She put a hand on his chest and her eyes were full of fear. "You aren't going to change your mind, are you?"

Remus allowed himself a few seconds to blink before saying, "What?"

"I guess, well, I'm scared," Jamie admitted. "You're leaving for your research in a few days and I do know you're going to be back before the full moon and all, but we've never been apart for really long extended periods of time since we've been together."

"Do you mean change my mind about you?"

"Love, I'm just scared that you're going to wake up one day and realize that I'm not that great and that you can do so much better," Jamie said quickly, wishing she hadn't brought it up at all. She lowered her voice and stared at his chest, unable to look into his face. "I mean, all the rest of the guys have and I feel as though I'm only waiting it out until you figure the same thing out."

"Jamie, we've talked about ths before," Remus said sternly, bringing a hand to her chin and forcing her to look into his eye. "Besides, I'm the one who is supposed to be thinking things like that."

"No, you shouldn't," Jamie said vigorously, furrowing her brow. "You're wonderful. You're loving, caring, thoughtful - "

"Shhh," Remus put a finger to her lips, making her stop talking. "You just described yourself."

Jamie couldn't help but smile slightly. Remus pulled her close, tightening his grip around her. Jamie leaned her head against his chest, listening to the steady drum of his heartbeat.

"I love you," Remus said quietly, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I promise you that won't change."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Before we begin this meeting, I would like to welcome the new members to the Order," Dumbledore was saying to a small group of adults. "You have all proven over your years at Hogwarts to be exceptional witches and wizards and I am glad to see that you all were able to attend. 

"Perhaps before we delve into the necessities, we could have a quick introduction from the newest members," Dumbledore suggested, looking around the round dining room table that they were sitting at. "Let's see - why don't you all tell us your name, school credentials, an interesting fact, and your favourite colour."

The older members looked at each other in an amused exasperation while the newer ones raised an eyebrow.

"Why don't you start us off, James?" Dumbledore asked.

James looked up suddenly from where he was doodling on a piece of parchment. "Er, of course. Well, my name is James Potter, I went to Hogwarts and was a Gryffindor and was Head Boy. My friends call me Prongs and my favourite colour is orange."

Everyone's eyes then turned to Lily, who was at James's right hand side, and she had the same shocked expression James had had moments before. "I'm Lily Evans and I, too, went to Hogwarts. I was also a Gryffindor and Head Girl. I'll be marrying James in August and my favourite colour is purple."

"Oh - can I change my interesting fact?" James asked. "I'll be marrying Lily in August as well."

There was a good-natured chuckle shared amongst the table and the introductions continued onward.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon. I was a Ravenclaw prefect at Hogwarts. I just started Auror training yesterday and my favourite colour is yellow."

"My name is Dorcas Meadowes and I was a Ravenclaw, too. I can roll my tongue into a flower and my favourite colour is blue."

"Peter Pettigrew - I was a Gryffindor. My friends call me Wormtail and I like blue."

"I am Sirius Orion Black and was a Gryffindor at fair Hogwarts. I can do three one-handed cartwheels straight in a row without falling, but I'm working to add to that number. My favourite colour, naturally, is white."

"I'm Jaclyn Carter and was yet another Gryffindor. I can do _four_ one-handed cartwheels without falling and my favourite colour is pink."

"I challenge you to a duel of the one-handed cartwheels, Carter," Sirius turned to her, sticking his hand out for her to shake.

"You're on, Black," Jaclyn agreed, gripping his hand.

"Albus, I told you not to invite the entire group of friends," Flitwick joked, giving the friends a good-natured smile.

"Moving on," Dumbledore smiled at the group. "Alice."

"My name is Alice Stewart and I was a Gryffindor. The amazing Frank Longbottom asked me to marry him last night," she beamed at the others, who all gave her and Frank congratulatory smiles. "Oh, and my favourite colour is turquoise."

"We are Gideon - "

" - and Fabian Prewett. We were both Gryffindors - "

" - and not even Dumbledore would have thought to make us prefects."

"We're twins - "

" - obviously - "

" - and our favourite colour is red."

"Wait - my favourite colour is orange."

"Fine then - be different."

"I'm Remus Lupin and was a Gryffindor prefect while at Hogwarts. This beautiful woman to my left has agreed to take my hand in marriage in September. And, well, I don't really have a favourite colour."

"Come on, Moony, everyone has a favourite colour," Sirius spoke up.

"Fine, it's green," Remus shrugged, shooting Sirius a look.

"That's more like it."

"My name is Jamie Williams-soon-to-be-Lupin and I was a Gryffindor in my time. I'm seven months pregnant and about read to pop, to tell you the truth. My favourite colour is also green."

"And I'm Benjy Fenwick," Benjy finished the introductions. "I was a Ravenclaw prefect with Marlene and am currently getting over the devastating heartbreak Alice has bestowed upon me by accepting Frank's proposal. My favourite colour is brown."

"Well, that certainly took longer than expected, but we will have to cope with that fact. Now, moving on," Dumbledore said once Benjy finished talking. "As I may or may not have said earlier, there is a significant amount of new members this year. I firmly believe that we will be much stronger than we have in the years past because of this. I hope that we will be able to overcome the threat that Lord Voldemort and his loyal followers present, thus bringing an end to a devastating war.

"Just last week there was an attack in Kent…"

* * *

"Come on, Prongsie!" Sirius goaded, slapping down a pint of ale in front of his best mate. "Drink up!" 

James gave Sirius an annoyed look before gulping some of it down. Seeing that he James was now properly celebrating the beginning of their Auror training - Sirius had a knack for having a party for anything - Sirius turned away from him, concentrating on amusing the rest of his friends with a story he had been attempting to tell for nearly a half hour.

When he didn't think anyone was looking, James tapped his glass discretely so the ale drained from it. However, as soon as he looked back up at his other friends, he noticed Jamie's gaze on him, her own glass of water in front of her. She raised an eyebrow, which he only returned with a heavy sigh.

"I think I need some fresh air," James announced, but it went primarily unnoticed, as all of the others were listening raptly as Sirius described an encounter between himself and four burly Slytherins in his third year.

As soon as James was out of the room, Jamie silently got to her feet. Remus reached out for her hand, a silly grin on his face.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to check on James real quick," Jamie said quietly, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Don't be gone long," Remus replied, letting go of her hand.

Jamie gave him a nod before slipping out of the room. Remus had grown more protective of Jamie since they had left Hogwarts, where he knew she was always safe and with one of their friends or him. He had told her that he could postpone his travelling until after the baby was born, but Jamie wanted him to be around more and insisted that he go when he had planned. While she wasn't completely convinced of the profession, she didn't want to strip him of his dream. The one condition he made her promise on, though, was that while he was gone she would always be with someone - whether that was someone staying at their house or she was at headquarters - and they had daily correspondence.

Jamie walked slowly through the flat that James and Peter had quickly inhabited along with Sirius. They were still in the process of moving things over and boxes littered the floors of hallways and bedrooms.

Once Jamie reached James's bedroom, she saw was surprised to see that he wasn't there. Just as she was about to leave, she noticed movement outside the glass doors that lead to a balcony outside of it. She recognized James's silhouette against the stars beating down through the clear summer sky, the moon still quite large as it began to wane.

Jamie pushed the glass door open, startling James for a moment, until he recognized that it was only Jamie.

"Hi," Jamie said quietly, walking toward where James was leaning against the wooden railing that stood between him and the ground below.

"Hello," James replied, his eyes fixated on the other building of flats across the courtyard, a cigarette smoking in his right hand.

"Since when have you smoked?" Jamie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Since I was sixteen," James replied. "You know that."

"What does Lily think of that?"

"She doesn't care, so long as they aren't Muggle cigarettes," James shrugged. "It's not like these are going to kill me like those. It helps me clear my head."

They stood in silence for a few moments, both of them leaning on the railing. Jamie gave James a sideways look before asking, "What's going on?"

James took a long drag, then turned to meet Jamie's gaze. "What I'm about to tell you stays between us."

"It always does," Jamie swore with a nod of agreement.

"I went to visit my mum and have lunch with her yesterday," James sighed, turning to look back out over the railing. "Jamie, she's dying."

A beat passed before Jamie let out a gasp and said, "What?"

James swallowed hard, unable to meet Jamie's eyes. "Remember back when she had Batwing Cough?"

Jamie nodded, remembering how two years back her Aunt Janine had become afflicted with the cough, which attacked your respiratory system and gave the person inflicted with it batwings for ears if it was left untreated. It was a fairly new illness that had only been around for about five years.

"But, it isn't fatal - " Jamie began.

"It turns out Mum had it quite a bit longer than she let on," James continued, ashing his cigarette off the balcony. "It was when my dad was first getting really bad, so she told me she didn't want to worry him or me. She swears that she didn't even know that she had it until the wings appeared. She thought it was a cold or something of the sort."

"Oh, Lord," Jamie breathed, realizing where he was going with this. "How long as she untreated?"

"Apparently she didn't feel that she had to continue the medication Mungo's gave her once the wings disappeared and they've been coming back every so often since then. She just takes some of the bloody medication," James rubbed his temples in frustration. "However, her chest has been festering for the past few months, so she went to the hospital and it turns out her lungs have deteriorated too much for the Healers to do much of anything."

"Oh, love," Jamie reaching forward, putting a hand on his arm.

"She's on something now that makes her breathing and everything more comfortable until, well, you know," James finished, sparing a glance at Jamie.

"How long?" Jamie asked, moving closer to her cousin.

"They don't give her more than six months, but it could be much shorter," James cleared his throat, ignoring his wavering voice. "That's why I insisted Lily and I have such a short engagement. I want her to be able to see me get married."

Jamie nodded. "Is she excited for the wedding?"

James smirked. "What do you think?"

Jamie smiled back, trying to ignore how troubling the situation was. She opened her mouth to say something comforting, but James interrupted her.

"She's fine as of now energy-wise. She's going down to Egypt with your dad, apparently," James kept smirking.

"He told me that," Jamie nodded.

"She's always wanted to go down there," James said quietly. "I - I just can't believe it, you know? My mum was always the strong one, supporting my dad and me without so much of a blink of an eye. It seems so surreal that she's going to die."

Jamie nodded. He was right - Janine Potter was the loud, boisterous, joking one of the family and seemed to be invincible. It seemed impossible that she would ever not be around. She was one of those people that seemed like she would outlive the entire family.

"I'm really sorry, James," Jamie said quietly.

"It's not your fault."

"That doesn't mean I can't be sorry," she said quickly. "Have you told Lily?"

James shook his head. "I don't think I'm going to. My mum didn't want many people to know."

"Is she telling my mum and dad?"

James nodded this time. "She's having dinner with them in a few days."

Jamie reached over and gripped his left hand. James looked down at their hands gripping each others' and then met her eyes. It looked as though he was past tears - that he had accepted the inevitable fate of his mother.

"Everything's different now," James said quietly, bringing his right hand to his mouth again.

"Yes, it is," Jamie nodded, knowing that he was not only thinking about his mum, but also back to their Order meeting.

Suddenly, below them, there were a few popping noises, where their friends had managed to Apparate into the courtyard. Peter was on the near other side and he took off in a sprint to meet up to the others. James and Jamie watched them as Sirius and Jaclyn started to do one-handed cartwheels, inducing hoots and applause from their other friends.

"It's quite frightening," James sighed, looking from their friends to Jamie, who only nodded in response.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** You would not believe how hard it was to find a wizarding illness. I tell you what. Quite frustrating, haha.. Anyways, this is quite a bit longer than the last chapter, which is always good. Also, the Bat-Wing Cough is a really Wizarding illness..I searched and searched online for Wizarding illnesses because they really don't talk about any fatal ones in the book that aren't related to a bad hex or poison or being bit by something fluffy. Anyways, now you know._

_Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!_


	28. Lala

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. "Lala" is by Ashlee Simpson and I don't own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-eight: Lala**

_Oh, I have waited here for you  
Don't keep me waiting_

Jamie woke up slowly; dim light coming in through the window, signalling that the sun had hardly risen. After a few sleepy seconds, she realized that the other half of her bed was vacant. With a sudden burst of panic, she jolted upward, her eyes darting around the small, bare room. Suddenly, the door burst wide open, revealing her harassed looking fiancé.

"Oh, good, you're awake," Remus said distractedly. "Have you seen my wand? I can't find it anywhere and I really should have left ten minutes ago."

Jamie leaned across the bed and felt around under his down pillow, then grasped the firm, wooden handle of his wand.

"Right where you left it," she said, holding it out to him.

Remus took it exasperatedly and plunged it into the pocket of his robes. "The Knight Bus is going to be here any moment and I probably forgot dozens of things. This is a mistake and I should just try to get some odd job and completely forget about - "

"Remus," Jamie interrupted, taking a leaf out of his own book. "Stop talking."

Remus took a deep breath, then sat on the edge of the bed. Jamie scooted closer to him, putting her arms around his chest. The sunrise continued to peak through the window, bathing the room in a pink hue.

"I'm really nervous about this," Remus admitted. "Not just that I'm doing this research, but being away from you for two weeks."

"I'll be fine," Jamie encouraged him, despite how she really felt. "Jaclyn will be here a lot, I'm sure, and I can always bunk at headquarters."

"I know, I just worry," Remus sighed as Jamie nuzzled her face into his neck.

"I know you do," Jamie replied, then kissed him softly. "It's because you're sweet."

"And bloody paranoid," Remus chuckled, then turned, putting one of his legs on each side of Jamie's hips and pulling her closer to him. "I know that you'll be just fine, but my mind goes away with me sometimes."

"I'm used to it," Jamie smirked, putting their palms against each other and then wrapping her fingers around his. "I will miss you, though."

"Good," Remus replied with a nod. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Well, now that I think of it," Jamie shot back, furrowing her brow as she pretended to think hard. "Perhaps I won't miss you. In fact, you can leave for as long as you like."

"Oh, you're hilarious," Remus rolled his eyes, then leaned forward to kiss her. "And you can go ahead and kiss my arse."

Jamie scrunched up her nose and leaned away from him. "Absolutely not."

Remus let out a laugh and leaned forward until she was lying back on her stomach, her head resting on his pillow. He made to kiss her, but she put a hand over his mouth to stop him.

"You're revolting. I don't think I can kiss you anymore after that comment."

Remus pushed Jamie's hand down to the bed and shrugged. "Well, if you say so. I just thought that since it'll be _ages_ until I see you again that you'd - "

"When you put it in that context…" Jamie interrupted, a smile playing on her lips.

"That's what I thought," Remus replied, then leaned forward once more and kissed her lightly.

As soon as Jamie deepened the kiss, however, there was a loud bang outside the house and the honking of a horn. Unwillingly, Remus backed away from Jamie, who didn't move from where she was laying. They both let out heavy sighs, which made them both chuckle.

"You'll write me every day?" Remus asked, manoeuvring to sit next to her, one of his hands sliding to Jamie's belly.

"So long as you write me back, love."

"Including today?" Remus pressed.

Jamie smiled. "Of course."

"And you're sure you don't mind me leaving?"

"They'll leave without you if you don't get a move on," Jamie replied, still smiling.

"I'll let you know if I forgot anything necessary," Remus said, his mind reeling through the list of things he had meant to pack. "I'm sure that I forgot at least one or two things, but I know I won't realize until it's too late and - "

"Remus."

Remus stopped babbling and gave her a shy smile. He brought a hand to Jamie's face, pushing her dark hair behind her ear carefully. They looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours before another honk echoed through the house.

"I should go."

"Yes, you should," Jamie nodded.

Remus bent down and kissed Jamie's stomach, the silk of her nightgown soft on his lips. After a moment, he straightened back up and met her lips one more time.

"I love you," he said quietly, his forehead touching hers. "Both of you."

"We love you, too," Jamie replied, sneaking one more kiss before he got to his feet.

"I'll see you in a few weeks," Remus said, backing out of the bedroom. "Goodbye."

"Bye, love," Jamie bid before he hurried out of the room.

Jamie pulled the comforter up over her once again, listening to Remus take the steps of the staircase two at a time and slam the front door. She could hear the muffled voices of Remus talking to the conductor and the sudden bang of the bus disappearing once again. The house seemed eerily quiet without Remus's presence in it and she felt a shiver run down her spine, causing her to tighten the blankets around her more.

Jamie rolled onto her side, her face nearly buried in the pillowcase of Remus's pillow. It was a terribly lumpy pillow, but he insisted on using it, despite Jamie's pleading for him to get a new one. He claimed that he had been using it since he was a small child, which, judging by the state of it, could be quite true. Jamie breathed in deeply, the smell of Remus's shampoo and cologne filling her senses. She felt a brief pang go through her heart and she swallowed hard.

After a few more silent moments, Jamie forced her eyes to close and eventually fell back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Did you hear that Sirius bought a motorcycle?"

Jaclyn felt her jaw drop as she gave Jamie a look of disbelief. "You're joking."

"Nope," Jamie smirked. "Oh, and get this - it flies."

"Just what he needs," Jaclyn rolled her eyes, but a smile was on her face nonetheless. "I'm sure that'll be the death of him."

"That would be unfortunate," Jamie smirked, playing with the chocolate candies Dumbledore had insisted having at headquarters. "James said that he's always riding it and if he isn't riding it he's polishing and washing it. He's waiting for the wedding."

Jaclyn laughed. "You know, I've always wanted to go for a ride on a motorcycle."

"Well, here's your chance then, I suppose," Jamie replied, giving her cousin a look. "Have you two had any chance to, er, talk since we finished school?"

"No, why?" Jaclyn asked, trying valiantly not to flush.

"Honestly, _you two_ are going to be the death of _me_," Jamie leaned back in her armchair, a hand on her stomach. "Is there any real reason you're not together?"

"Uh, let's see," Jaclyn tried to give Jamie a defiant look. "Maybe because we aren't interested in each other like that?"

Jamie looked at Jaclyn as though she had grown another head, then blinked furiously.

"What?"

"I'm trying to understand why you're not bursting into flames," Jamie answered.

"What? Why would I be bursting into flames?"

"That was the most outrageous lie I've ever heard," Jamie said simply, her eyes still wide.

"It's not a lie," Jaclyn lied.

"Yes, it is."

"Is not."

"I'm not doing this," Jamie said, putting up a hand and taking a deep breath. "You're a big liar - end of discussion. After all - "

"I thought you said end of discussion," Jaclyn sighed, crossing her arms in an annoyed manner.

"I meant end of discussion for you because you keep on saying scandalous lies."

"That is completely unfair, Jamie," Jaclyn huffed.

"You're the one that keeps on lying," Jamie pointed out. "I don't think you're really in any position to say what is and isn't fair."

"Okay, that's it - end of discussion."

"Fine," Jamie replied, shaking her head.

"That includes shaking your head."

Jamie reached forward and took a handful of candies out of the dish, then dropped them onto the coffee table. As she sorted the candies into different colour groups, she glanced up at Jaclyn.

"How's work?"

"It's work," Jaclyn shrugged, crossing her legs. She had started work at the Ministry for Muggle Relations a week after they had finished school. "It's not a glamorous job, but someone has to do it. There are quite a few Muggle-haters employed there for being Muggle Relations."

"You'll have that," Jamie nodded, spacing the candies into rows now.

"Have you heard from St. Mungo's?"

"I start in two days," Jamie nodded. "I'm a bit nervous, but Remus and I are quickly running out of money, so it had to happen eventually."

"When does he get back?"

"The end of the month," Jamie replied, concentrating far harder on the candies than she ought to be. "Just before the full moon."

"I see," Jaclyn replied. "Okay, honestly, Jamie - just eat the candy."

Jamie shot Jaclyn a smirk before saying, "Different colours taste different."

"They do not," Jaclyn rolled her eyes.

"Yes, they do," Jamie replied, then laughed. "For cousins we sure do bicker a lot."

Jaclyn smiled in response and then burst out, "You know, it's not my fault I like him so much. He's so damn cute that I can't not notice him. And then he has the gall to be so funny and letting us get along so well."

"How dare him," Jamie said, putting a hand on her heart. "I mean, really. What a bastard."

"Oh, shut up," Jaclyn sighed, turning away and flushing slightly. "It just scares me how much I care about him. He's Sirius _effing_ Black."

"Look, to love anyone is the biggest risk you will ever take," Jamie said quietly, abandoning her candies and sitting back in her chair. "Jac, you put everything into one person and hope to Merlin that they always stay that one person."

Jaclyn glanced back at Jamie and said roughly, "Whoever said I loved him?" When Jamie only gave her a sceptical look back, she sighed and looked back into the fireplace. "You're right - I love him."

"Then you should tell him!" Jamie encouraged. "You won't be happy until you do."

"I know," Jaclyn said quietly.

They fell into a silence that was only interrupted by the crackling of the fire. Finally, after several moments, there was a pop from the foyer, followed by a shout.

"Is someone here?" Sirius's voice echoed into the library, where Jaclyn and Jamie were seated. His voice was shaky and hoarse. "Anyone?"

Jamie and Jaclyn jumped to their feet and hurried through the house to where Sirius was holding James, whose eyes were closed and face lax.

"Oh, Lord," Jamie breathed, rushing forward to take James off Sirius. "What happened?"

Sirius wiped his forehead, which was sweaty and covered in dirt, with the back of his right hand, his bright eyes wide. He took a deep breath before launching into the story.

"W - We were on assignment and somehow found ourselves in the middle of a bloody Death Eater convention," Sirius stammered, his eyes flitting around the foyer. "Prongs was hit by a Cruciatus and I'm almost positive it was from Snape. I had to stun him before Apparating because he was shaking so badly."

"He'll be fine," Jamie promised, motioning for Jaclyn to help her take James into one of the side rooms that had been fashioned into a bit of a hospital.

Together, they managed to set James on a low table. Sirius began to pace the room, still looking troubled.

"Did you get hurt?" Jamie glanced at Sirius, turning to a tall cabinet and searching for a potion.

"I'm fine," Sirius replied, beginning to recover slightly. "I just got a bit scraped up."

"A bit?" Jaclyn asked, taking in his ripped robes.

"Nothing that can't be fixed," Sirius nodded, taking a seat in an armchair near where James was seated.

_"Rennervate,"_ Jamie said quietly, tapping her wand lightly on James's forehead.

Instantly, James's eyes blinked open. He took a deep breath, then groaned loudly. He glanced around, confused, and then registered Jamie's face above him.

"What the hell - "

"Drink this," Jamie interrupted, pushing a deep red potion into his hands and giving him a concerned look. "It'll make your muscles relax and your nerves numb so you won't be in so much pain." She turned and looked at Sirius, who looked more than happy that his best mate was awake. "How long was he under the curse."

"Too long," Sirius shuddered. "I don't know - twenty minutes?"

Jamie let out a gasp, her eyes wide. "Much longer and I don't think you would be in the right mind, James."

"That was it?" James asked, trying to sit up before falling into a coughing fit. Jamie helped him sit up, the empty bottle gripped in his right hand. Once he recovered, he took a deep breath and added, "It felt like hours."

"Well, the git wouldn't let up," Sirius said heatedly, rising to his feet. "I have half a mind to go back there and - "

"But you won't, because that would make you as much of a git as him," Jamie scolded gently.

"I know," Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It seems a bit surreal, I suppose, being out of school and actually in the action. Like, it really was happening all the while we were safe at Hogwarts."

The four exchanged uncomfortable glances, as though they had all been thinking that as well, before Sirius said, "Oh, Prongs, mate, here are your glasses."

"Thanks," James nodded, taking them and putting them back onto his face. "Jamie, stop looking at me like that - I'm fine."

They managed a smile and then Sirius announced, "I think I'm going to get something to eat. I'm starved after fighting the bad guys."

"I'll come with you," Jaclyn offered, following Sirius out of the room as Jamie and James exchanged a grin.

Once in the kitchen, Sirius poured himself a glass of water and Jaclyn leaned against the counter next to the sink. After he had downed the contents of the glass, he gave Jaclyn a questioning look.

"Are you all right?"

"A bit shaken up after your entrance, but I'm fine," Jaclyn nodded, folding her arms across her chest gently. "Are you all right?"

"I will be," Sirius nodded, filling the glass once more. "I never thought I'd have to see my best mate be tortured in front of me like that and be unable to help him."

"Was anyone else with you?" Jaclyn asked.

"Yes, some other Aurors, but we were quite outnumbered," Sirius replied, then took a gulp of water. "Just to see James writhing on the ground like that and having to fight off hordes of Death Eaters before I could reach him - it'll haunt me for quite some time, I'm sure."

Jaclyn registered that she had called James by his first name rather than his nickname. She couldn't recall a time she had ever heard him do that, which meant he was more than a bit troubled by the situation. Before she could say something, though, Sirius continued.

"It really puts things into perspective."

After a beat passed, they both turned to each other and said the other's name simultaneously. They shared a smile and Sirius nodded for Jaclyn to go ahead.

"Look, Sirius, I - I - this is really hard for me," Jaclyn swallowed hard, not allowing herself to look away from Sirius's eyes. "These past few months I've been aching inside because of how I feel about you and I've been absolutely terrified about it. We were either angry with each other or one of us had a significant other and it, well, it was enough to make a person mental. But, whenever you look at me, it's like you're secretly trying to tell me to give up hope." She paused for a moment and then said, "But, you should know that I almost have."

When she didn't say anything more, Sirius distractedly pulled his hand through his long hair once before taking his turn.

"Jaclyn, I'm not that good of a person. I make mistakes and I have so many regrets. I act a lot smarter than I really am. I cry every so often and I laugh way too hard when something isn't really that funny. Sometimes the things people say about me bother me." Sirius stopped for a moment, drinking in the attentive expression on her face and gave her a smile. "But, you make me see that none of that matters because you make me smile more than I could have ever imagined."

They stared at each other for a few moments, thinking about what each other had said before rushing toward each other, months of hidden feelings and emotions surging between the two. And for the first time, neither of them pulled away when their lips touched.

"I'm glad you didn't completely lose hope in me," Sirius whispered into her ear, one of his hands stroking her blonde hair fondly.

"Me, too," Jaclyn whispered back, bringing her lips to his once again.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** It's rather short, but I have a feeling that I'll be forgiven in that respect. Also, I'm absolutely in love with the fact I used "Lala" for this chapter, haha.. Who would've thought that song would have a decent quote in it? No offence to any possible Ashlee Simpson lovers reading this..._

_Anyways, go right ahead and tell me that it's about time I put Sirius and Jaclyn together and thanks for reading! (-:  
_


	29. Lips of an Angel

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Lips of an Angel" is by Hinder and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Twenty-nine: Lips of an Angel**

_Honey, why are you crying - is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud  
Well, my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she were you  
I guess we never really moved on_

"Are you positive you don't want to go somewhere for this?" Remus asked Jamie, his eyes worried as he paced the small sitting area of their house. "I'm sure Sirius - "

"Remus, it's _fine_," Jamie insisted for the umpteenth time, handing him a cup of tea as she strode toward him from the kitchen. "I'll just stay upstairs and be none the wiser to what's going on in the basement."

"But - "

"Stop badgering me," Jamie waved her hand, becoming annoyed. "After all, you said that with Peter here you won't be as violent."

"I'm just worried that with it being a new place and Peter being such a small animal, things will, well, you know," he gave Jamie a sad look. "I don't want to scare you."

"Love, I've been square with your wolfish tendencies since before you saw fit to alert me of them," Jamie sighed, repeating her words one more time, as she and Remus had had this conversation a multitude of times in the past few days. "I'm not going to up and decide to leave you because of it."

"I know," Remus said quietly, looking embarrassed. "It's just - "

"Drink your tea," Jamie interrupted, glancing out the window to see Peter coming up the front walk. "Peter's here and I don't think he wants to listen to us argue."

"I think it might be rather entertaining for him, really," Remus shrugged, obeying Jamie and sipping his tea slowly. As the normally dormant side of his brain began to rise up, he realized that Peter had gotten there just in time.

"Hello, Peter," Jamie said congenially, allowing their friend into the house. "Thank you for coming."

"My pleasure," Peter replied nervously. He had never accompanied Remus in one of his transformations without James or Sirius there to protect him and he wasn't terribly keen on the idea. "How are you, Moony?"

"Just ducky," Remus nodded to Peter in a wry manner. "We should probably make our way down about now - you know, just in case."

"Sure, sure," Peter nodded, wringing his hands anxiously and starting for the door that led to the basement.

Once Peter was downstairs, Remus got to his feet and gave Jamie a stricken look. She returned it quite exasperatedly, but he stopped her before she could say anything.

"Look, I know you don't want me to say this, but I really wish you'd go somewhere," Remus took a few steps forward, taking her hand.

"It's too late now," Jamie waved her hand. "James and Lily have Order duty tonight, Lauren is at her mum and dad's, my own mum and dad are in Africa with Aunt Janine, and Sirius had some huge birthday plans for Jaclyn and I don't know when they'll be back."

"You could go to head - "

"Remus, I really just want to sleep in our bed and read," Jamie pulled him close, letting her arms hang loosely around his hips.

As Remus gazed at her, he temporarily let his guard up and the wolf pushed forward more. He had the sudden urge to lunge at her, sink his teeth -

"Fuck!" Remus swore loudly, pulling away from Jamie violently and bringing his hands to his temples, struggling to take control of his mind once more. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Remus, it's okay!" Jamie insisted, taking a cautious step toward him.

"No, it's not," Remus insisted, straightening up and avoiding her eye. "I need to go now."

"Uh, all right," Jamie said, taking another step toward him and extending an arm to touch his own.

"No, please," Remus pleaded, valiantly struggling to keep his eyes from meeting hers. "Don't be upset, but I can't."

"Okay," Jamie replied in what she hoped wasn't a wounded voice. "It's okay."

"I love you," Remus swallowed hard, then hurried down to the basement, loudly slamming the door behind him.

Once he was gone, Jamie drew her wand out and magically locked the door, which Dumbledore himself had charmed, along with the wall along the stairwell, so that the werewolf would be unable to make its way through. Struggling, Jamie could barely hear Remus and Peter talking in the basement. She swore under her breath, upset that the charm sound proofing the property that their house was on wasn't nearly as strong inside their house as from the neighbouring ones.

Jamie watched for a few moments as the sun continued its descent down the western horizon. She folded her arms across her chest and walked toward the front window, which gave her a full view of the house. Across the street, Magnolia Thresher, their older neighbour, was getting to her feet after spending the cool, late July evening weeding her front walk. The woman recognized Jamie's silhouette and gave her a friendly wave before retreating back into her own house. Jamie waved back, glad that they weren't the only magical folk in the primarily Muggle neighbourhood.

With a resigned sigh, Jamie picked up Remus's empty teacup that he had left sitting on the sofa. As she strode to the kitchen, a racking cry reverberated through the floorboards, causing Jamie to drop the cup. She ignored the shattered pieces and only sped up the staircase to the second floor.

* * *

"I still can hardly believe you got tickets for Selena Magos," Jaclyn repeated for the thousandth time, dancing around Sirius in a giddy manner. "Especially so last minute like that. How did you even know that she's my favourite singer?"

"Jamie told me," Sirius shrugged. "In all honesty, she helped me come up with the idea. I had no idea what to get you for your birthday and, well, you know."

"Well, it's awfully noble of you to come out with the true story," Jaclyn smiled, calming down, but still grinning from ear to ear.

"Hopefully next year it won't be a month late, though," Sirius shrugged sheepishly. "I still feel guilty about that."

"Oh, stop going on about it," Jaclyn sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Fine, fine," Sirius smiled, pulling one of his hands out of his robes and reaching out to put his arm around her shoulder. "So, I take it you liked the present?"

"Loved it," Jaclyn nodded, leaning closer to him and slipping one of her own arms low around his waist.

"I'm glad," Sirius replied as they continued their walk down the sidewalk.

After a few moments, Jaclyn let out a content sigh, making Sirius smile once again.

"What's up?"

"I was just thinking," Jaclyn shrugged, meeting his eyes for a moment.

"What about?"

"I don't think you'll ever find another girl like me."

Sirius gave a good-natured chuckle and replied, "Is that so?"

"Yes?"

"Now, why would you go and say that?"

"No girl is stupid enough to fall for you like I have," Jaclyn said simply, shrugging her shoulders.

"Well, that's probably good, then," Sirius replied quietly, coming to a stop in front of where he had parked his motorbike before the concert.

"Why would _you_ go and say _that_?"

"I don't want any other girl," Sirius stated just as simply as Jaclyn had, a smile playing on his lips.

Jaclyn allowed him a huge grin and he scooped her up in his arms, lifting him up off her feet for a fleeting second. When he set her back down, he kissed her lightly on her lips, but she lifted herself onto her toes in order to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, Sirius broke the kiss, backing away from her and pretending to ignore the pout on her face.

"Now, Miss Carter, where, exactly, do you see this lovely evening ending up?" Sirius asked, pulling his back helmet out of the compartment hidden under the seat of his bike and handing it to her.

Ever since the two had "shocked" everyone with the news of their relationship, Jaclyn had been spending an increased amount of time at Sirius's flat as she was quite sick of living at home. While Jaclyn wasn't terribly fond of the annoyingly significant looks she received from James and Peter every morning when she stumbled out of Sirius's room, it was better than receiving a 6 AM wakeup call from her parents alerting her that she'll be late for work - which she didn't have to arrive at for another three hours.

"Well, Mr. Black, I'm in a gambling mood tonight," Jaclyn shrugged, playing with the straps of the helmet.

"Really," Sirius replied, taking out the other helmet and pushing it onto his head.

"Really," Jaclyn confirmed, following him in suit. "A Galleon says you'll be crawling into your bed with me and putting your hands where they don't belong."

"Yeah?"

"One more Galleon says you'll be putting those lips of yours where they should go as well."

"Think so?"

"Yeah," Jaclyn nodded, smirking coyly. "However, ten Galleons says I won't say no."

"Ah, well, I think that's a bet I can deal with," Sirius grinned, reaching forward and tightening the strap on Jaclyn's helmet gently.

"I thought you'd like it," Jaclyn replied, swinging a leg over the back seat of Sirius's motorbike.

"You know me well," Sirius winked at her, then swatted her knee gently. "Budge up or I won't fit."

"You aren't that big," Jaclyn sighed, but moved back nonetheless. "I'm always afraid I'll fall off."

"I would never let you fall off," Sirius replied, settling down and lifting his arms up so Jaclyn could wrap her own tightly around his waist. Once she was secure, he started up the engine, smiling at the sound of the purr.

"There's not a whole lot you can do from up there," Jaclyn replied loudly as Sirius turned and shut the visor on her helmet.

"Don't worry," Sirius replied, giving her a comforting look as he snapped his own visor shut. "I would never hurt you."

* * *

Sirius padded quietly down the hallway of his flat, turning into the kitchen, which was illuminated greatly by the full moon that was beaming through the window above his sink. He stretched once before retrieving a tall glass from the cupboard and filling it with water. As he leaned against the counter, he realized with full force how large the moon actually was.

He turned and gazed out at the silver orb, then swallowed a mouthful of water quickly. He remembered the Peter was keeping Remus company, hopefully able to keep him down enough for Jamie to stay at the house at the same time. He wondered absentmindedly how she was doing and glanced at the clock to see that it was nearing 2:35 AM. The night was slowly coming to an end, but as he hadn't heard from Jamie, Sirius figured that she must have been holding up well.

Sirius let out a sigh and finished his water with one great gulp, then placed the glass in the sink. Resigning to the fact the it was about time he get some sleep, he began to walk back to his bedroom, where he had left Jaclyn, who was sleeping soundly. He smiled, thinking about her blonde hair spread out on his pillow like a halo. Perhaps he would wake her up again, seeing as neither of them had to work the following day. His smile widened.

As Sirius passed by the sitting room, however, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his name being hissed from the fireplace.

"Sirius! Wait!"

"What the - Jamie?"

"I'm really sorry, I know it's late and I didn't want to wake you, but - "

"Are you crying?"

"I'm so sorry, but Remus is just downstairs and - "

"Oh," Sirius whispered, dropping to his knees in front of the fireplace, biting his lip as he took in Jamie's dishevelled appearance and how she was struggling to keep herself steady. "Are you all right? I'm sorry, that was a daft question."

"I didn't know who else to call," Jamie apologized quietly, registering that he was trying to keep his own voice down.

"Don't worry about it," Sirius nodded, edging closer to the dwindling flames. "Jaclyn's just down the hall and I don't want to wake her."

Jamie couldn't suppress a smirk, which made him roll his eyes.

"I hear enough from Prongs, thank you," Sirius replied, pulling a hand through his hair.

Jamie opened her mouth to say something else, but something in the house - Sirius could guess what it was quite easily - made her snap it back shut. Her eyes widened as she met his own and she swallowed hard.

"Look, I don't want to interrupt anything but, well, d'you remember when we were at the Gala and you said that if I ever needed you…," she let her voice drift off.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, but it's a bit too late for me to try to keep Moony quiet. I knew Wormtail wouldn't be enough."

"That's not what I'm asking," Jamie said hastily, glancing behind her at what Sirius presumed to be the door to the basement. "I just really need someone here right now and with James, Lily, and Lauren indisposed of I was sort of hoping - "

"I see," Sirius interrupted. He swallowed hard, glancing down the hallway at the closed door that lead to his bedroom. "Well, don't worry about it. Why don't you Apparate - wait, no." He swallowed hard, thinking of Jaclyn once again. "If Jaclyn wakes up she'll overreact."

"Doesn't she always?" Jamie sighed good-naturedly.

"It's part of her charm," Sirius replied. "I'll be there in a few moments - I just need to put a shirt on."

"All right," Jamie nodded, biting her lip once more. "Thank you, Sirius."

"Don't mention it," Sirius nodded, then Jamie's head disappeared from the fire.

With a sigh, Sirius got to his feet, abandoning the thoughts of what could have happened within his room. 'You promised,' he reminded himself as he crept into his room, searching around for the t-shirt he had worn to the concert, not bothering to change his pyjama pants.

Before he left, he kneeled on his bed, where Jaclyn was just as sound asleep as she had been when he had first left the room. Sirius reached forward and pushed her curls out of her face, making her face screw up for a moment, then relaxed once more. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then pulled the dark red comforter that was spread across his bed further up her body, trying to keep her warm.

After a moment, Sirius silently left the room and Apparated once he thought he was out of earshot, trying to secure that she wouldn't wake up.

Once he appeared at his destination, Sirius searched the small sitting room to find Jamie. His heart nearly tore in two when he found her, sitting in the corner opposite the basement door, her legs pulled to her chest as best as she could with a seven month old foetus growing inside her. As soon as they made eye contact, a loud yelp and growl escaped from the door, making them both jump.

"Let's go upstairs," Sirius said, rushing toward Jamie and helping her to her feet.

"I'm really sorry about this," Jamie apologized again as Sirius pushed her up the stairs, trying to ignore the sounds they were leaving behind. "I know that tonight was awful important to you and Jaclyn and - "

"I promised you, though," Sirius interrupted, following Jamie into her bedroom, which was lit by a single candle she had been using to read with, and closing the door behind them. "Besides, Jaclyn's been asleep for hours."

"I still feel wretched," Jamie sighed, allowing Sirius to sit her down on her bed.

"Don't," Sirius replied simply, crawling across the bed and sitting next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder. "I told Moony you should have found somewhere else for him to transform or at least have you go somewhere else."

"He tried to convince me to leave," Jamie said in a near apologetic tone. "I didn't want to, though. I thought that I'd be able to ignore what was going on or that I wouldn't hear or something."

"Well, you really can't hear as well up here," Sirius pointed out, straining his ears.

"It's more the thought that it's happening," Jamie replied, pulling the blanket up over hers and Sirius's stomachs. "I had trouble sleeping when we were at Hogwarts, too."

"I see," Sirius nodded, pulling her a bit closer, so her head rested on his chest. "Well, don't you worry. I'm here to protect you."

Jamie couldn't help but smile. "Thank you."

"Don't even mention it."

* * *

Sirius awoke with a start, surprised to see the beginnings of morning through the window that Jamie had forgotten to draw the curtains on the night prior. The clock on the wall said that it was just after 6:30 in the morning and judging by the stillness of the house, Sirius knew it was over.

As he stretched, still sitting up from when he had gotten into the bed a few hours before, Sirius looked down at Jamie, who was curled up next to him. Cassie had found her way onto the bed at one point in time, also, and was purring loudly near her feet. Sirius put a hand on Jamie's back, rubbing it gently as she slept on. He wished that the feeling he felt whenever he looked at her would go away and had hoped that it would now that he was with Jaclyn. He swallowed hard, guilt surging through him as he pulled his hand away and thought back to his girlfriend, who was still most likely fast asleep in the stark opposite side of London.

Deciding that it would be best to hurry home before Jaclyn could discover his disappearance, Sirius shook Jamie gently.

"Jamie."

Her face screwed up, but her eyes popped open, adjusting to the light and the fact Sirius Black was in her bed. Remembering the night before, she jerked her head around to look out the window.

"It's morning," Jamie pointed out the obvious, then turned to look back at Sirius. "Is it going to be bad?"

"Most likely," Sirius nodded, not one to sugar coat things.

"Wonderful," Jamie sighed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and straightening up. "Do you think Peter left already?"

"He had Order duty just after sunrise," Sirius nodded once more, moving to get out of the bed.

"I had hoped I could thank him once more before he left," Jamie explained, following Sirius in suit. "Thank you, by the way."

"Not a problem, I promise," Sirius smiled, turning to face her.

"I really do appreciate it," Jamie fixed her pyjama shirt unconsciously, then met Sirius's eyes. "Last night was…" She glanced around the room, groping for a word to properly describe what had happened.

"I understand," Sirius chuckled. "But, I really need to be going." His face grew serious. "He's going to apologize for things he's never done for a good while. All you really need to do is nod and tell him it's okay and he'll come back to his senses."

"Okay," Jamie swallowed hard, pulling a bathrobe on over her pyjamas.

"Also, he's going to look absolutely horrid," Sirius continued grimly. "As you know, there isn't a terrible lot you can do because his bites and scratches won't heal well - "

"Madam Pomfrey gave me some lotions and potions before we left school," Jamie nodded. "We'll make it through."

"I know you will," Sirius smiled, pulling her into a hug. "You know where I am if you need anything."

"The same goes for you," Jamie nodded into his chest. "I owe you."

"We're friends," Sirius backed away, keeping his arms around her. "We don't owe each other anything."

"Well, in that case, I don't owe you," Jamie smiled back.

Sirius let out a chuckle and shook his head in an amused manner. "I'll see you soon."

As soon as he had disappeared from her presence, Jamie let out a large sigh, trying to ready herself for what was about to happen. Put on a brave face that completely betrayed how she was feeling inside, Jamie took a deep breath and made her way down the stairs. She stopped and took a few bottles out of the cabinet next to the basement door and stashed them in her bathrobe. Jamie carefully pulled the door to the basement open, realizing that Peter must have left it unlocked, then gazed down the stairs.

"Remus?" Jamie called quietly, trying to ignore the blood that was pooling on the concrete ground and the chunks of wood that was scattered across the floor of what used to be a table. She started down the stairs deliberately, but a shaking voice stopped her halfway down the stair.

"D - Don't come down here."

"Oh, stop it," Jamie snapped in a much more annoyed way than she had meant as the lack of sleep and stress made her reach the end of the line.

"I'm sorry," Remus managed quietly. "I'm s - so sorry."

"Where are you?" Jamie asked, squinting through the dim light that was flooding in from the door at the top of the stairs and trying to find him. She emptied her pockets on the stone stairs and kept a pale yellow potion in her right hand. "Remus?"

"I didn't m - mean to, I swear."

_"Lumos,"_ Jamie said, illuminating the basement. However, the light only lasted but a few seconds, as she dropped the piece of wood in horror once she caught sight of her fiancé. _'Bloody hell,'_ Jamie thought, a wave of nausea running through her body.

"I didn't want t - to."

Jamie followed the pitiful voice, her eyes adjusting to the darkness and making it easier for her to see Remus, who was huddled in a corner, his legs pulled up his chest and his head buried in his knees. His hair was matted down with a mixture of sweat and blood. Just breathing seemed to send scores of pain through him, judging by the tremors that went through his body each time he drew in a breath. As she neared him, Remus looked up and met her eyes, sobs suddenly escaping him.

"I - I'm so sorry. J - Jamie, I d - didn't want it to happen. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Remus," Jamie sighed, dropping to her knees and trying her best to ignore the blood that she was kneeling on. "It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered once more, dropping his head to his knees once more, trying to edge away from her.

"Look at me," Jamie said quietly. After a hesitated moment, he obeyed, meeting her eyes once again. Feeling her heart break, Jamie reached forward, using the sleeve of her robe to wipe some of the blood off his face. He grimaced for a second, but relaxed after a second. Jamie quickly scanned his bare body, swallowing hard as she took in the amount of slashes and bruises that covered him.

When her gaze reached his eyes again, he asked, "Do you still love me?"

"Oh, Remus," Jamie repeated, tears flooding to her eyes. She brought a hand to his cheek and pushed it through his bloody hair. "I will always love you."

Remus fell silent and only looked at her as though trying to figure out if she was bluffing. Jamie swallowed hard and busied herself by trying to pull the cork off the top of the glass vial. Madam Pomfrey had explained to her that the potion would bring him back to a proper mindset, allowing him to understand what was happening around him as the real Remus.

"Drink this, love," Jamie offered.

Remus leaned forward, trying to raise his arm but grimacing. Jamie put the potion to his lips and his face contorted as he swallowed it down. He blinked blankly for a few seconds, then his eyes snapped wide open.

"Oh, hell," he breathed heavily, looking around the room and then back at Jamie. With great effort, he brought his left arm to his head. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Well, I wasn't going to leave you down here," Jamie smirked, shrugging off her bathrobe. "Can you lean forward?"

Remus managed and Jamie draped her robe around him. Once finished, they shared a look for a few moments.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked Jamie.

"No, but you're worse off than I am," Jamie admitted with a shake of her head. "I'll fix you up in no time, though."

When Remus didn't answer, Jamie forced a smile and scolded, "Stop that, I'm fine." She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He struggled to kiss her back, so Jamie pulled away.

"I think I like having you take care of me rather than Madam Pomfrey," Remus managed hoarsely, watching her retrieve the rest of the bottles.

"Why's that?"

"Madam Pomfrey wouldn't snog with me," Remus joked, then gave Jamie a smile.

"I'm glad to hear that," Jamie smiled back, more glad to hear the poor joke than that he hadn't been snogging with the Healer when she wasn't around. "I love you, Remus."

"I love you, too."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Oh, how sweet. Werewolves make great lovers, haha. That should be a t-shirt. You know, like the Detroit's For Lovers shirts or something. I have a great story about a t-shirt that says that exact thing, but this probably isn't the time or place... Haha, wow, good thing I wrote this at 4 in the morning.  
_

_Anyways, this was a fun chapter to write for some reason. Probably because I like causing Remus pain..muahaha.. Okay, just kidding, haha. Also, sorry if anyone's eyes fell out or something when they say Remus's hardcore swearingness. Nothing else really fit the situation in my head..and I could totally see it happening like that. Well, please let me know what you think - you know how I just love those reviews. Thanks for reading!_


	30. Bless The Broken Road

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Bless The Broken Road" is by Rascal Flatts and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty: Bless The Broken Road**

_I think about the years I spent just passing through  
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you  
But you just smile and take my hand  
You've been there - you understand  
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_

"Lily, you look gorgeous," Jamie breathed, meeting her best friend's emerald eyes in the mirror standing in front of them. She reached up and twisted one of the spiral curls emerging from Lily's updo around her finger, trying to give it more curl.

"I feel as though I'm going to hurl," Lily replied, smoothing down the front of her pure white dress. "What if this is a huge mistake?"

"Are you seriously asking that?" Lauren asked, looking up from her chair across the room as she massaged one of her feet. "Why'd you have to pick these heels, Lily?"

"I mean, I know I love him and all," Lily swallowed hard, her eyes darting around the room, then locking with Jamie's once again. "But, what if we aren't really in love and it's just my head playing games with me and - "

"Lily," Jamie interrupted, spinning her friend around and giving her a stern look. "Listen to yourself."

"I know," Lily sighed heavily. "I worry too much, don't I."

"Yes, you do," Jaclyn spoke up, coming into the small room, fixing her deep red bridesmaid dress, which matched Jamie and Lauren's. "Ten minutes."

"Oh, Merlin," Lily breathed, wavering on the spot. "I'm not ready for this. We haven't even been together a year and I'm only eighteen and I should be out travelling the world, trying new things, having adventures - not becoming tied down by a husband."

"Lily," Jamie scolded, steering her to sit down on a chair, then sitting beside her, Lauren and Jaclyn taking their place on the other side. "Humour me for a moment, will you? Close your eyes."

"What?" Lily asked, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"Just do it!" Jaclyn let out a laugh.

When she obeyed, Jamie took a deep breath then said, "Lils, think into the future, will you? Next year, for instance. Let's say that you decide to go on a trip to Greece. You decide to do the Muggle thing and see all of the touristy attractions - the Parthenon, some ruins, what have you."

"Jamie, how is this supposed to help me?" Lily asked, her eyes still screwed shut.

"Who do you see next to you?" Jamie asked point blank.

Lily paused for a moment, understanding what she was saying, then smiled. "James."

"Of course you see James," Jamie nodded, taking Lily's hand so she opened her eyes. "It's because James isn't tying you down. You aren't signing a contract that means your life has to be dull and boring from here on in. Rather, you're embarking on the next big adventure - a life with a spectacular man that couldn't love you any more without exploding."

"Yeah," Lily nodded, still smiling.

"Wow, Jamie, that was very profound," Lauren pointed out, nodding her approval.

"I practiced all night," Jamie grinned, and then got to her feet. "I'm going to check on the groom momentarily if you don't mind."

"Wait - before you go," Jaclyn spoke up, looking wary. "I don't want to be a downer, but I have a question I've been meaning to ask you lot." When the others didn't answer and only stared at her, Jaclyn cleared her throat and said, "A week or so ago, I was staying the night at Sirius's flat. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was gone - I checked the entire flat, including James and Peter's rooms."

"And?" Lily asked, crossing her legs daintily.

"I was just wondering if any of you, well, had heard anything from his counterparts," Jaclyn explained, then bit her lip.

"What night was it?" Lauren asked, furrowing her brow.

"It was the night he took me to the Selena Magos concert," Jaclyn supplied.

After a moment, Lauren shook her head. "Peter hasn't said anything."

"Neither has James," Lily shrugged. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"Did Remus say anything to you, Jamie?" Jaclyn asked, meeting her cousin's eye.

Jamie swallowed hard and shook her head. "No, nothing."

"Oh, well, all right," Jaclyn replied, looking dejected. "I just thought I'd ask."

Jamie turned and continued through the room, guilt surging through her. She and Sirius had agreed to keep his company at her house a secret, not just to ensure Jaclyn to not become too angry, but so Remus wouldn't worry more than he already did. He hadn't mentioned that Jaclyn had noticed his missing presence, but Jamie had a feeling that he didn't even know.

Jamie emerged from the room into the entrance hall of Hogwarts. Due to their short engagement and lack of time to find another place, Dumbledore had allowed Lily and James to use Hogwarts for their ceremony and reception. Lily had no living Muggle relatives except for Petunia, but Lily hadn't even bothered to send her an invitation, so it seemed like a good idea.

Jamie waved at Hagrid, who was standing at the front doors, greeting people as they entered the school, but was sideswiped by her Aunt Janine before being able to talk to him.

"Jamie, I demand a photo of you and James before the ceremony," Janine demanded, and then gave her a bright smile. Her affliction was obvious affecting her, as her voice had become wheezier and her speech much slower, but she was still fighting past it, trying not to worry her friends and family members.

"Oh, Aunt Janine, don't you have enough pictures of James and I?" Jamie mock complained, and then sucked in a deep breath as a pain shot through her belly. "Oh, ouch."

"Are you all right?" Janine asked, her voice lowering and eyes worried.

"Just fine - it happens every now and again," Jamie nodded, taking a page from her aunt's book. "Now, pictures. Where are the boys?"

"Over here."

Janine led Jamie across the hall and into another small room, near the entrance to the Great Hall, where the ceremony was taking place. Once there, Jamie pushed the door open, revealing the four men, each with a glass bottle of Butterbeer in their hands. Upon seeing Jamie and Janine, they jumped and tried to conceal their drinks.

"Honestly, you four," Jamie shaking her head, but unable to conceal a smile. "That was meant for the reception."

"It was Sirius's idea of a best man speech," Remus explained, giving up on hiding his bottle and taking a swig.

"It's relaxing me," Peter spoke up, smiling.

"Let's get a picture," Janine spoke up, lifting her camera to her eye and snapping it. "And now James and Jamie, please."

James and Jamie both let out exaggerated sighs, but put their arms around each other and gave large, over-the-top grins to the camera. Janine gave a sigh and shook her head, but knew that this was the best she was going to receive, so snapped the picture anyway.

"Aw, Mum, the flash blinded me," James complained, blinking furiously before taking a swig of Butterbeer.

"You'll live," Janine smiled, looking her son over fondly. "Well, I'm going to go have a seat. Good luck, James."

Once Janine was out of the room, Jamie stole Remus's Butterbeer and pulled herself onto one of the desks.

"Hey," Remus reached forward, trying to take the bottle out of her grasp. "It's not as though you can drink it anyway."

"We don't waste around here," Sirius spoke up, coming up behind Jamie and commandeering the bottle from her. "Here you are, Moony."

"It really is odd being back here, isn't it?" Peter asked, looking around the room fondly.

"You're talking as though it's been years rather than a month," Jamie pointed out, crossing her legs.

"Still, to be here and not be a student is quite weird," Remus agreed with Peter.

"Oh, Moony, you'll be a teacher here in a few years," Sirius patted Remus hard on his back, nearly making him spill on the front of his suit.

"I'm not going to be a teacher," Remus shot back, elbowing Sirius once in the side.

"Not that I want to break up this touching moment or anything," Jamie said, jumping off the desk and tilting her head to read Sirius's watch. "But, James, you should probably go to the front of the church and we need to line up."

"Already?" James asked, his eyes wide. "I didn't realize the time." He took a deep breath and finished his Butterbeer, then held it out for Jamie to take.

"What do I look like – your maid?" Jamie asked, her face incredulous.

"Uh, yeah," James nodded, pushing the bottle towards her.

Jamie gave James a dignified look before taking it out of his hand. "You're lucky you're getting married and my hair looks nice or I'd have to beat your - "

"See you!" James grinned at his friends, then hurried out of the room.

Peter, Remus, and Sirius took to follow James out of the room, but Jamie grabbed hold of the back of Sirius's jacket to stop him.

"Jamie, we need to line up - " Sirius began as Peter and Remus left the room, not noticing that Jamie and Sirius weren't behind him.

"We have to walk down the aisle together anyway," Jamie shook her head. "They won't start without the maid of honour and best man."

"Oh, yes," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Because this whole wedding is actually about us – not the bride and groom."

"Look, Jaclyn knows that you weren't home the other day," Jamie said quickly in a hushed voice as she saw Lily, Lauren, and Jaclyn enter the entrance hall.

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Jamie nodded, biting her lip. "Are you going to tell her?"

"What did you tell her?" Sirius asked, bypassing Jamie's question.

"I told her I had no idea where you were," Jamie sighed, crossing her arms.

"Oh," Sirius replied, then let out a long sigh. "Damn."

"Are you going to tell her?" Jamie repeated.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "Not unless she asks me about it in the future."

"You don't have to come every month, you know," Jamie pointed out. "I didn't ask you to or anything."

"I know," Sirius nodded. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to, though."

"Sirius, I don't want to be the reason for some relationship problems for the two of you," Jamie pushed on, uncrossing her arms and planting them firmly on her hips. "Merlin knows it took the two of you long enough to get together - "

"Hey, you guys," Remus interrupted, sticking his head into the room. "Lily's getting anxious."

"Be there in a moment, love," Jamie replied, smiling over Sirius's shoulder at him.

Remus smiled back, and then retreated back out of the room. Jamie looked back at Sirius, who had a troubled expression on his face.

"What now?" Jamie asked, trying to lighten his mood.

"Nothing, nothing," Sirius shook his head, coming out of the mood. "I'm having seriously heavy thoughts."

"That's quite unlike you," Jamie winked at him, pushing him out of the room.

"About time!" Lily exclaimed upon seeing the pair. "We can't start without you, you know."

"Told you," Jamie grinned at Sirius.

* * *

"Lily and James have written a few words that they would like to share with everyone," Dumbledore said, smiling fondly at the couple. 

Lily and James turned to face each other and James fumbled in his pockets, looking panicked as he tried to find his vows. With a swift tap on his back, Sirius reached forward, waving the parchment next to James, causing good-natured laughter to fill the Hall. With a sheepish smile, James cleared his throat loudly before reading. It was obvious that he didn't need the parchment, though, as his eye's never left Lily's.

"Lily, I have loved you for seven years. Ever since we sat ourselves next to each other in our first year Transfiguration class, I've been smitten with everything about you. Your kindness and generosity surpasses so many. You have put up with so much throughout the years – not just from me – and you are still a loving and caring person. Your laughter and smile lights up the room, whether you realize it or not. Your beautiful eyes make me feel as though I can see into your very soul. You are my soul mate and I knew that from the moment I met you – although you weren't terribly keen when I put your mouse down your robes." James paused to smile and allow the friends and family to laugh again. "But, like I said, I have loved you for seven years and, Lily, I intend to love you for seven hundred more."

There were a few sniffs and happy sighs throughout the crowd as Lily swallowed hard and took a small piece of parchment from Jamie. Lily took a deep breath and smiled at James before diving into her vows.

"James, I love you. You have become my best friend, partner-in-crime, and are the love of my life. Today I am giving myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you to fulfill your hopes and dreams. I promise to laugh with you, as I'm sure you'll continue with you Marauder pranks well into old age. I promise to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle, although I pray that we won't have to go through any. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in highest regard as I do now. These things I give you today and all the days of our life."

After a slight pause, Dumbledore cleared his throat and said, "May we have the rings, please?"

Jaclyn's younger brother, Jon, was the ring bearer, so he stumbled forward, holding out the respective rings to Lily and James. He glanced at Jaclyn, who gave him a wide grin of encouragement. Once Jon had found his spot once more, Dumbledore cleared his throat yet again.

"With these rings, you bestow upon one another all the treasures of your minds, hearts, and hands." He gave James a nod.

"Lily," James started, his voice low so that the people in the chairs across the Hall had to lean forward in order to hear. "This ring is perfectly symmetrical and it signifies the perfection of true love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be."

Once James had slipped the diamond ring onto Lily's dainty finger, she responded, "Because this ring has no end or beginning, it signifies the continuation of true love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be."

Lily slipped the matching gold band onto James's ring finger, their hands grasping each other's for a moment before Dumbledore spoke up again.

"James Harry Potter, do you promise to love Lily and throughout your years together honest, faithful, and kind to her? Do you promise to give her the same happiness that she gives to you and to respect her for who she is, not who you want her to be? And, most of all, do you promise to be a true and loyal friend to her?"

"I do," James nodded, his eyes not wavering from Lily's.

"Lily Anne Evans," Dumbledore turned to Lily, his eyes twinkling happily. "Do you promise to love and care for James and try in every way to be worthy of his love? Do you promise to always be honest, kind, patient, and forgiving with him? And, most of all, do you promise to be a true and loyal friend to him?"

"I do," Lily replied quietly, a small smile on her lips.

"Before this gathering of beloved family and friends," Dumbledore announced, looking out at the crowd, "James and Lily have promised each other their love and have given each other rings to wear as a sign of their deep commitment. Therefore, I declare that they are husband and wife." He paused for a moment as Lily and James turned to face the others. "May I not introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Potter. You may now kiss the bride."

James didn't need to be told twice as he turned and dipped Lily low, causing the witnesses to laugh once more. When he brought her back to her feet, they exchanged a happy smile.

"I love you, Mrs. Potter."

"I love you, too, Mr. Potter," Lily replied, kissing him once more before retreating down the aisle.

* * *

"They look so in love," Jamie commented with a happy sigh as Lily and James shared their first dance together as husband and wife. 

"To think you'll be in Lily's place in a month's time," Jamie's mother replied, a smile on her face. "Isn't it exciting, Joel?"

"Oh, yes, loads," Jamie's father replied, then gave Jamie a discreet wink to show that he had kept true to his word from their talk at Christmas.

Jamie spared a glance at her aunt, who was watching her son and daughter-in-law spin across the dance floor with a blank expression on her face. James dropped Lily into a dip, causing her to shriek with laughter.

"I'm glad that he found someone," Janine nodded, a smile on her face. "I only wish Harry could have seen him get married."

"Oh, Janine," Joel turned, clapping her once on the back jovially and obviously already having drank his fair share at the open bar. "Harry is here with us."

"Yes," Janine replied with a nod as Lily and James's song, "Silly Love Songs," which couldn't have described James and Lily's relationship better, Jamie thought.

"Mum, can I score a dance with you?" James asked as Lily stumbled away. He, too, had taken advantage of the open bar.

As Janine walked forward and wrapped her son in a loving hug, Lily sat herself in the open chair next to Jamie and gave her family a happy smile.

"My feet are killing me," Lily sighed, kicking off her heels and stretching her toes.

"That's what you get for picking out those dreadful shoes," Jamie smiled, holding out her own feet to demonstrate her bare toes. "I ditched mine ages ago."

Once James and Janine had finished their dance, other couples found their way onto the floor, including Dumbledore and McGonagall, which made Lily and Jamie share a laugh. Remus approached the table as Joel and Claire left to share a dance, which Jamie didn't think a coincidence.

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Potter?" Remus asked, extending a hand to Lily.

"Oh, that hurts, Remus," Jamie joked, putting a hand on her heart.

"I accept," Lily smiled, taking Remus's hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet.

Jamie sat, watching the couples dance and laugh. She recognized most everyone there, as the majority of the people attending were part of her own family. Jamie laughed as she watched Jaclyn try to dance with Hagrid and Sirius step in with McGonagall. Another long pain struck through Jamie's abdomen. She gasped and put a hand on her stomach. With a glance at the clock across the Hall, she realized that this had been the third in about twenty minutes.

"Come on," James said, coming up behind her and grabbing her hand.

"What?" Jamie asked, coming up from her thoughts and looking confused.

"I want to dance with you," James smiled, pulling on her arm.

As the pain dissipated, Jamie swallowed hard and returned James's smile. "If you insist."

"Everything all right?" James asked, pulling Jamie to a spot on the dance floor and putting a hand on her waist. "You looked like you were in your own little world."

"Aren't I always?" Jamie replied cheekily.

"This much is true," James nodded, then rubbed Jamie's belly happily. "How's Baby?"

"Baby is…good," Jamie decided on, glancing down. "Baby needs to get the hell out of me already."

"Be careful what you wish for," James winked.

"Can I cut in?" Remus asked, elbowing James out of the way.

"Don't have much say, do I?" James rolled his eyes, but gave Jamie a smile nonetheless.

"How much have you drank, Remus, my love?" Jamie asked.

"Not that much," Remus insisted, pulling Jamie close. "I think I like dancing with you more than Lily."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Jamie laughed, resting her forehead against Remus's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Remus added, kissing the top of Jamie's head.

They continued to dance silently for a few moments, until the band James and Lily had hired began to play a more upbeat song. They regrettably separated before Remus gave Jamie a mischievous look.

"Uh oh," Jamie smiled. "What's on your mind?"

"Come with me," Remus replied simply, taking Jamie's hand and pulling her out of the Great Hall and into the entrance hall.

"Where are we going?" Jamie asked, following Remus up the stairs and down a corridor.

"You'll see," Remus said, flashing Jamie a smirk over his shoulder.

"Oh, Merlin," Jamie breathed, feeling another cramp go through her abdomen. She stopped walking and leaned up against a wall for support until the pain left.

"Jamie?" Remus asked, rushing up to her, concerned. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded, the pain drifting away. "I must have eaten too much cake."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, putting a hand on her waist.

"I'm fine, Remus," Jamie sighed, giving him a smile. "Now, take me to this mysterious place."

After ascending a few more stairwells and disappearing behind a tapestry or two, Remus came to a stop in front of a plain, wooden door. He reached forward and wrenched it open and looked back to Jamie, as though to say, "Tada!"

"It's a broom cupboard," Jamie raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you remember this cupboard?" Remus asked, his eyes wide. When Jamie only continued to give him a confused look, he heaved a great sigh and explained, "Remember way back, almost two years ago, on October 3rd?"

"Oh, I understand," Jamie nodded, smiling. "This was the date turn snogging session that ended up with us being a couple."

"Exactly," Remus grinned, happy she understood. After a moment of standing and staring blankly at the cupboard he offered, "Shall we?"

Jamie rolled her eyes, but followed Remus into the cupboard. After he shut the door she pointed out, "I seem to recall that we fit better when we were fifteen."

"You also weren't pregnant at the time," Remus pointed out.

"True," Jamie agreed, allowing Remus to take a step closer to her and put his hand on her neck. Before he could kiss her, though, she let out a laugh. "Remember what happened last time we were here?"

Remus let out his own laugh and nodded. "I don't think I've ever seen Sirius look more embarrassed."

"I felt worse for Melanie King," Jamie replied. "Sirius made a such a prat out of himself."

"He does that," Remus said, bringing his lips to Jamie's to shut her up.

Remus ran one of his hands down Jamie's back, feeling the silk fabric of her gown on his rough fingers. Meanwhile, Jamie helped him ease his suit jacket off, leaving him in a white dress shirt and deep red tie that matched her dress. As Remus's lips travelled lower, he eventually settled on her bare collarbone, and Jamie ran her fingers through his styled hair.

Suddenly, Jamie let out a gasp of pain, causing Remus to jerk upright.

"Did I hurt you?" Remus asked, groping for his jacket and finding his wand. _"Lumos."_

The light illuminated the small cupboard and he knelt in front of Jamie, who had sunk onto a stool. Her face was wrenched up in pain.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" Remus pressed, taking hold of her hand. "Please tell me what's going on!"

Jamie took a deep breath and managed to gasp, "I…don't…know."

"Is it the baby?" Remus asked, glancing down at where she was grasping her stomach. "But – but, you aren't due for nearly two more months!"

"I'm well aware of that, Remus," Jamie replied shortly, swallowing hard as the pain subsided. "I'm not sure if it's the baby, though, because my – oh, bloody hell."

"What?" Remus asked, his eyes widening more, if that was possible. "What's going on?"

"I was about to say that my water hasn't broken," Jamie replied, a disgusted look on her face. "I spoke too soon."

"What?"

"Remus, my water just broke," Jamie said calmly. "This isn't a good time."

"What should we do?" Remus asked, his eyes wide. "Oh, hell, we hadn't even set you up with a Healer at St. Mungo's and - "

"Remus, I need you to help me to the Hospital Wing," Jamie interrupted him, smiling at how frazzled he was. "Then, I need you to go down to the Great Hall and ask someone if Madam Pomfrey is available. After that, I need to alert Lily and everyone else of what's going on."

"This can't be happening," Remus said after taking in everything she said. "I thought we'd have more time."

"Well, it's happening," Jamie smiled, leaning forward and trying to ignore the stabbing sensation she felt as she did so. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Remus replied, meeting her halfway and kissing her lightly. "Let's go."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** So...I'm supposed to add this in here because I told La Mariposa I would:_

**jamie-la says:** i have half the chapter done.. i just have to do some "oh james, i love you" and "oh, lily, i've loved you since i was eleven" stuff and some "oh, shit, my water broke"  
**carp says:** ah i see lol  
**jamie-la says:** i'll probably just copy and paste that in there.. it's literary genius  
**carp says:** oh yeah lol  
**carp says:** put it in the author's note as "this is what the end would have been but my wonderful amazing way better than me cousin la mariposa wouldn't let me..."

_There you are, Jackie. BE HAPPY. Oh, and that's blasphemy - I'm better than her because I'm older..thus wiser. I'll pay for that comment later.  
_

_Anyways, I had more I wanted to say. Yeah... Oh! I've never given birth, so I apolgize if it was less than accurate, which could be the case. Also, I've been spitting these chapters out pretty quickly lately - don't get used to it. Just a warning._

_Holy long author's note! Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!_


	31. What A Wonderful World

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Somewhere Over The World / What A Wonderful World" is by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-one: What A Wonderful World**

_I hear babies cry and I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more than we'll know  
And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world_

"Merlin, get it _out_ of me!" Jamie shrieked, breathing hard from her place in one of the hospital in the Hospital Wing nearly two hours later.

Remus's eyes were wide with fear, partly because of the early labour and the sudden personality turn of his fiancée. She looked around the room small room where Madam Pomfrey, looking quite scandalized after the urgent message from Professor Dumbledore during the middle of her summer holiday, was bustling around in a dressing gown, and Jamie's parents were watching their daughter, their faces matching Remus's.

Suddenly, Lily burst into the room, nearly tripping on her wedding dress with James close on her tail.

"Jaclyn just told us what was happening," Lily said quickly. "Why the bloody hell didn't you tell us straight away."

"It's your wedding!" Remus replied quickly, his voice shrill. "I didn't want to - "

"Oh, Moony, please," James rolled his eyes, rushing past to his cousin's side. "How are you?"

"How does it look like I am," Jamie growled, swallowing hard.

"Excuse me, excuse me," Madam Pomfrey said, pushing past Claire and waving a pale purple vial in front of Jamie. "Take this, dear."

"What is it?" Remus asked as Jamie downed the liquid without hesitation.

"It'll help with the pain," Madam Pomfrey explained half-heartedly, turning away from the group.

After a moment, Jamie's breathing began to soften and she swallowed hard, her voice much smoother and softer. "Lily, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I mean, you're supposed to go to Spain - "

"Oh, shush," Lily rolled her eyes, pulling her veil out of her hair and throwing it onto one of the surrounding beds. "I'll need you one day, after all."

"Excuse me, we have quite some time to wait until we need to think about such things," James said quickly, causing Remus to roll his eyes.

"We said the same thing," Remus smirked, and then gave Jamie's parents an apologetic look, although they didn't seem to be listening to the conversation at all.

"We're here!" Jaclyn and Sirius burst through the door, Sirius's arms filled with balloons and flowers, obviously having come from a quick emergency visit to Hogsmeade. He had two balloons, one that was pink and announced, _"It's a girl!"_ and the other a baby blue that countered with, _"It's a boy!"_

Noticing Jamie's gaze, Sirius explained, "Just in case."

"What's if it's a squid?" James asked, earning a punch on the shoulder from Remus. "Well, you know, what with Moony as the father." He dodged the next punch by jumping onto the hospital bed next to Jamie.

"Oh, cous'," James sighed. "My deepest sympathies."

"Leave her alone," Lily said, despite Jamie's laughter.

"Jamie!" came a voice, another person flying into the Wing that no one recognized, donned in lime green robes and looking quite hurried. "Dilys just sent a message from Dumbledore to St. Mungo's about you and I insisted on leaving to see if I could help."

"Oh, Miriam," Jamie smiled, giving a sigh of relief. Miriam had taken Jamie under wing when she had first gotten her job as a Healer. "Thank you so much."

Miriam ignored the questioning glances that the others were giving her and turned to look at the cabinet of potions, lotions, and every other ingredient they could need.

"Only six visitors at a time!" Madam Pomfrey announced suddenly, coming out of her office doing a quick head count as she brought more things over to where Jamie was laying.

"No - only Remus and Lily are going to be staying in here," Jamie reassured the Healer, who pursed her lips and made herself busy with mixing some potions.

"Oh, okay, good," Miriam breathed a sigh of relief, obviously not wanting an audience. She saw Jamie's face screw up in pain and Remus rushed forward to aid her in any way possible. "You must be the daddy," Miriam said, quickly giving Jamie a vial with a bright orange fluid in it. "It'll help more with the pain, dear."

"Yes, I am," Remus said, not meeting any of Jamie's co-workers yet.

"Miriam McDonald," she introduced herself, pushing a cart past Jaclyn and Sirius to the other side of the bed. "Yes, I've been doing this for quite some time and know what I'm doing. No, you needn't worry about your baby or your lovely wife. Yes, you will faint or need to leave the room."

The blood drained out of Remus's face and he gave Jamie a very scared look. Jamie laughed and said, "She's kidding. Right? You're kidding."

"Of course I am, dear," Miriam replied unconvincingly. She turned and looked at James, Sirius, and Jaclyn, registering for a moment that they were dressed for a wedding, then looked at Lily, smiling at her wedding gown. She shook her head with an amused expression before saying, "I'm afraid the three of you are going to have to leave now."

"We'll wait outside as well," Joel said suddenly, getting to his feet with Claire. They both looked as though they couldn't believe that their daughter was actually having a baby - as though it was all a joke.

James gave his cousin a hug and kissed her cheek. "Good luck, Jamie."

Jaclyn did the same and Sirius rubbed her back. "Remember, it was Remus who did this to you. It is Remus who is putting you through all that pain."

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus replied, pushing Sirius out of the room.

"Jaclyn isn't staying?" Lily asked, getting to her feet as Miriam helped Jamie get into position.

Jamie shook her head no. "She was at her brother's birth and it scarred her for life." She breathed in sharply and raised a hand to her belly.

Remus sat on the bed next to Jamie and pushed her messy hair out of her face. "You ready?"

"Are you?" Jamie asked, holding his hand.

"I think so," Remus smiled.

"Me, too, then," Jamie nodded, still looking scared. Remus kissed her softly on the lips before Miriam gently ushered him off the bed.

"Okay, dear," Miriam said, taking Jamie's pulse quickly and jotting it onto a clipboard. "I did this four times and if my presumptions about you are true, you'll get through this just fine. I'm only here to make sure nothing terrible happens."

Jamie nodded again, swallowing hard. Lily put a hand on Jamie's right arm as Remus took her left hand again. "Well, here we go."

* * *

As the late morning light began to stream through the windows of the school and long after the last wedding attendee left, no word had been given to anyone outside of the Hospital Wing. Lauren and Peter were both sprawled on the floor while James and Jaclyn were leaning each of their heads on one of Sirius's shoulders. Claire and Joel, meanwhile, were pacing the hallways, not coming back to the Wing once after they had been ushered out of it. 

Suddenly, the five of them jumped comically up as Remus opened the door to the Hospital Wing, sending screams through the hallways, echoing off the stone walls. He gave his friends a frantic look, obviously near tears.

"It's taking forever, Moony," Sirius whined.

"You think I haven't noticed?" Remus asked, pacing in front of the five. "Oh, and I would like to thank you for reminding Jamie that this pregnancy was a two-to-tango kind of deal. I'm pretty sure my hand is broken."

Sirius only grinned and dodged when Remus aimed a punch at him. Then, noticing that he was missing, he asked, "Where's Jamie's parents?"

"No idea," Jaclyn yawned widely. "They were probably smart and got beds in the dormitories."

After a few tense moments, Remus stopped pacing and just crossed his arms, looking through one of the windows and out to the lake.

"How early is she?" Lauren asked hesitantly, then looking scared as though she wished she wouldn't have asked.

"She's only 29 weeks along," Remus replied quietly, running a hand through his hair and not looking at his friends.

"Is the baby - "

"I didn't ask," Remus interrupted Lauren sharply. "At this point I'm just hoping that Jamie will be fine."

"Well, we live in a world of magic," Jaclyn sighed, sinking back into Sirius's side. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"I'm supposed to have three older siblings," James spoke up, not meeting anyone's eye.

"What?" Sirius asked, jerking up and making Jaclyn fall hard into the wall. "You never told me that."

"They all died when my mum gave birth," James continued, ignoring Sirius. "I don't really talk about it often because there's nothing I could have done. Jamie knows."

Remus looked at James as though he was going to strangle him for being such a large ray of sunshine, but considered against it due to the subject matter. Before the tension could rise much more, Professor McGonagall came rushing down the hallway, a tray of sandwiches following her. She had had a chance to change out of her dress robes and was in her more casual robes, if you could call them casual.

"Any word?" she asked, setting the tray on the floor in front of the others. Everyone looked at Remus.

"I have no idea what was going on in there," Remus admitted, braving a small smile. "All I know is that she was yelling at me."

The others chuckled and even reached forward to eat some sandwiches. After a few minutes, McGonagall left the friends to be alone and asked for someone to let her know when the baby came. Due to their surroundings, they began to reminisce about their school days, thinking about the past seven years and some of the adventures they'd found themselves in.

"It still makes me laugh to think that we used to hate you boys so much," Jaclyn laughed, looking at the Marauders. "Lily much more than the rest of us, but still."

"And now we each have one," Lauren pointed out, playing with Peter's fingers.

"It's far too cliché for my liking, I must admit," Jaclyn said, a jokingly stricken look on her face.

"There are worse things," Remus sighed, leaning back against the wall with his hands behind his head. "I can't believe I'm going to be a father at any time now."

"Isn't she going to be a bit miffed that you're not in there with her?" Sirius asked. "You know, what with this being all your fault and all."

"Honestly, I don't think she'll have noticed," Remus laughed. "I was kind of hiding in the background and she still managed to hate me."

"Oh, I remember my dream now!" Peter spoke up suddenly from where he had been pondering something since Remus woke them up.

"You managed a dream?" Jaclyn asked.

"Yeah, I had a dream that I was bobbing for apples at some party."

"Bobbing for apples?" James asked. "What in Merlin's name - "

"It's a Muggle thing," Lauren explained quickly. "You put apples in a tub of water and try to pick one out with your teeth."

"Why?" Sirius asked, looking shocked.

"It's hard to do," Jaclyn said. "Honestly, you should try it."

"Anyways," Peter interrupted, wanting to continue his story. "I was bobbing for apples and I got pissed because there weren't any apples – only applesauce."

The others stared at him, waiting for him to go on, but he didn't.

"So, let me get this straight," Remus ventured, raising an eyebrow. "You were bobbing for apples in applesauce?"

"And I couldn't get any apples," Peter nodded.

"You were bobbing for apples in applesauce," James repeated, sharing a look with Jaclyn.

"I know this," Peter nodded, getting annoyed.

"What kind of party were you at?" Jaclyn asked, her eyes wide. "What kind of person would put apples in applesauce? That's like feeding a hamburger to a cow!"

The others laughed and suddenly the door to the Hospital Wing was pushed open, revealing Lily. She was still wearing her wedding dress, but her well-styled hair had long since fallen out of its updo. She looked terribly exhausted, but there was a smile on her face.

"Mr. Lupin, there are a few people in that room that would like to see you," Lily announced, helping him to his feet.

Remus's face lit up and he turned on his heel.

"He's awfully excited to see Madam Pomfrey, that Healer, and Jamie," Sirius said, watching his friend walk away.

"You prat," Jaclyn said good-naturedly. "She's talking about the baby."

"Oh!" Sirius replied, getting to his feet along with James.

"No, let them have a moment alone," Lily said, putting up a hand to stop them.

"Is the baby - "

Lily nodded, interrupting James's question. "Yeah, it'll be fine. Madam Pomfrey said that it's very lucky and well developed. Jamie and the baby both are going to be taken to St. Mungo's for a week or so, though, just to be safe."

"'It'?" James asked, a look of relief on his face, but having to touch the joke nonetheless. "It is a squid, isn't it."

"No," Lily rolled her eyes and her husband. "I just figured that you should find out from Jamie, not me. And no," she said, giving Sirius a stern look as his mouth popped open, "it does not have a tail and isn't covered in fur." Sirius snapped his mouth shut.

"Lily!" Claire exclaimed, hurrying up the hallway with Joel close behind her, looking much more refreshed than the others did. "Is it over? Did she have my grandchild yet?"

Lily nodded with a smile and Claire let out a happy squeak, which was quite uncharacteristic for her. As Claire and Joel began to bombard her with questions, Jaclyn took the opportunity to pull Sirius aside.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as she led him out of earshot of the others. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, well, no," Jaclyn admitted, taking a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you this earlier but with that wedding thing and then Jamie going into labour and all, it didn't really seem appropriate."

Sirius knew instantly what she was going to say, but gave her a questioning look. "Okay?"

"But now that everything is over and all," Jaclyn took a deep breath. "I just wanted to make sure that you're really square with us and that you don't have any misgivings."

Sirius's eyes popped wide, completely taken aback. "Er…what do you mean?"

"You know – us," Jaclyn sighed. "Sirius, I really care about you and don't feel like getting hurt any time soon. I know we've only been together for a few weeks, but I wouldn't want us to be expecting different things."

"And what are you expecting?" Sirius asked, running his hand through his dirty hair.

"Well, you know," Jaclyn shrugged. "I was hoping that this wasn't going to be a little fling. I have, er, really strong feelings for you, Sirius."

Sirius couldn't help but give a small smile. "Jaclyn, I've been settling for so long because I thought it was the right thing since it was so simple. Us getting together definitely hasn't been the easiest thing and I know that it's been worth it." He heaved a sigh. "Jac, I don't just have strong feelings for you – I love you and I don't want us to be over anytime soon."

Jaclyn blinked a few times and gave Sirius a blank look, as though trying to sort out what he had just told her and if it was just some cruel joke.

"You – you love me?"

"I don't just tell anyone it," Sirius shrugged, a smile on his lips. "Well, not anymore at least."

Jaclyn continued to blink, then returned the smile. "Well, I love you, too."

"Hey," Lily called, interrupting their conversation. "Are you guys going to stay out here all day?"

Sirius and Jaclyn jumped and noticed that they were being watched. Jaclyn flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked toward the door defiantly, Sirius right behind them, singing on the inside over what had just happened.

* * *

Remus timidly entered the room, looking carefully around the corner at Jamie, who was holding their baby. He thought she looked radiantly beautiful, despite her sweaty face and her hair falling out of her ponytail Lily had given her at one point in the long night. She was still breathing hard and looked exhausted, but she was smiling down at the little person in the wad of blankets. 

"Hi, love," Jamie welcomed Remus quietly. She beckoned him forward with a jerk of her neck. "I'm not upset with you any longer," she added with a twinkle in her eye.

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed and Jamie moved over so he would have more room. He put an arm around Jamie and slowly, as though he was afraid he'd break the tiny child, he trailed a finger through the dark brown hair that was already sprouting out of the baby's head. At his touch, its eyes opened, revealing golden eyes, nearly identical to his own.

"Oh, Lord," Remus sighed as the baby stared him down. "He - er, she - "

"She," Miriam supplied from the other side of the room. She looked just as exhausted as Jamie and Lily did.

"She's beautiful," Remus said, kissing Jamie hard on the lips. "Can you believe that we made anything that beautiful?"

"Brand new auntie coming through," Jaclyn announced, rushing into the Wing and seating herself on the open side of Jamie's bed, peering down at the baby. "How adorable! A perfect combination of the two of you," she exclaimed, smiling happily.

"Aren't you technically her cousin?" Lily asked with a smile.

"Not a squid, mate," James joked, clapping a congratulatory pat on Remus's back.

"Did you two pick a name yet?" Sirius asked, knowing that they had misgivings on what exactly they wanted to call the child. "Despite how you so rudely shot down my suggestion."

"Your suggestion was 'Sirius'," Lily rolled her eyes.

"So?" Sirius asked innocently.

Jamie and Remus looked at each other questioningly, then Remus said, "Hannah Grace."

"Hannah Grace Lupin," James repeated, as though trying it on for size. "I like it."

The two parents smiled at one another and Remus kissed Jamie on the forehead. "So do we," Jamie nodded.

"My little Gracie," Remus said. "Our little girl."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Tee hee. By the way, I know that "What A Wonderful World" isn't originally by Israel, but the whole mood of the song fits the chapter right..and that's where I got the inspiration and whatnot. Anyways, a happy chapter. Who would've thought?_

_The Singer In White pointed out that Remus's thumb ring that turned into Jamie's engagement ring was silver and that as a werewolf, he probably wouldn't love that too much. I actually used that as a joke in "Whisper of a Thrill," so I do know the folklore. However, I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't really thinking that his ring is real silver, since he later said that it was a ring he bought in Hogsmeade for a couple Galleons. It's basically the sort of ring you'd buy and you'd have to coat it with nailpolish so it wouldn't turn your finger green. It's just silver in colour. Just to straighten that out and all that jazz. (-:_

_Anyways! Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!  
_


	32. If I Am

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "If I Am" is by Nine Days and I do not own it in any way._  
**  
**

**Let Me Be Your Downfall**  
**Chapter Thirty-two: If I Am**

_The answers we find  
Are never what we had in mind  
So we make it up as we go along  
You don't talk of dreams  
I won't mention tomorrow  
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep_

"Jamie, you have a visitor."

"Oh, Olivia, I'm leaving - " Jamie stopped and looked up from where she was repacking her bag that Remus had managed for her while she stayed in St. Mungo's, recuperating from the early delivery. "Aunt Janine!"

Without any hesitation, Jamie abandoned her efforts, not noticing as the bag slipped off the small couch in her private room, littering the floor with pieces of clothing. With a heavy heart, she couldn't help but notice how much her aunt's disease had progressed since only six days prior, at Lily and James's wedding. Jamie sat herself on the hospital bed she had been inhabiting and allowed her legs to dangle off the side of it, her aunt joining her on her right side.

"What are you doing in St. Mungo's?"

"I heard it was a great vacation spot," Janine said slowly, her voice much lower and huskier than usual.

"Oh, yes, the view is amazing," Jamie motioned across the room to the blank wall.

Janine gave Jamie a smile, but there was a hint of sadness on her face. She swallowed hard and met Jamie's eyes with matching olive green eyes, obviously searching for words deep within her.

"Jamie, I don't know what James told you - "

"He told me."

"Oh." Janine blinked a few times, and then managed to give her another sad smile. "I'm near positive I told him not to tell anyone."

"By telling him you told me," Jamie shrugged. "We're the same person, you know."

"Sometimes I wonder," Janine said quietly, falling silent once more.

Seeing her aunt like this nearly tore her heart in two. Jamie was used to her Aunt Janine as the bubbly, effervescent older woman who was convinced she was still in her late twenties. Now, however, it seemed as though she had given up and had resigned to her fate.

Jamie bit the bullet and asked the inevitable question – "How are you feeling?"

Janine heaved a great sigh, which launched her into a coughing fit. Unsure of what to do, Jamie only patted her aunt's back until the fit subsided. Janine gave her niece an apologetic look mixed with a grimace.

"I've been better. However, that's not why I came to visit you. Well, besides the fact that everyone in my ward is bloody boring."

Jamie managed a smile, wary as to where the conversation was going to lead.

Janine ran a nervous hand through her black hair before swallowing hard once more. "I wanted to talk about James."

"Is he all right?" Jamie asked, her eyes wide. She hadn't heard from Lily or James since they left for Spain the day after she was admitted to St. Mungo's. They weren't due back for a few days.

"He's fine," Janine nodded, spreading her hands over her lap, playing with the fabric of her plain, tan patient robes. "I just need to make sure that you'll do something for me."

Jamie blinked blankly at her aunt for a few silent moments before replying, "Of course - anything."

"Promise me you'll take care of him," Janine looked at Jamie, her eyes pleading. "You know, once I'm gone."

"Of course I'll take care of him, Aunt Janine," Jamie replied instantly. "James is, well, he's much more than a cousin to me."

"Oh, I know," Janine nodded, a genuine smile on her face. "We all couldn't have been more happy that the two of you have had each other over the years."

Jamie shrugged, returning the smile. "I'm not terribly sure what we would have done without each other."

They fell silent once more and Jamie realized that it was time to ask the next inevitable question – "How long do the Healers give you?"

Janine hesitated, obviously unsure if she should be completely honest with Jamie. Then, with a resigned sigh, she replied quietly, "Not through the end of the week."

Jamie felt the news hit her hard, completely blindsiding her. Her eyes wide, she said, "But – but you look - "

"I'm taking a potion right now so that I could come and see you - it'll wear off soon," Janine nodded. "I just pray that James gets back from Spain before, you know…"

Jamie nodded back numbly, unable to take the news. However, her aunt interrupted her thoughts.

"I know it's a lot," Janine bit her bottom lip. "I don't want to overwhelm you, but I know you'd rather know than be in the dark. But, honestly, Jamie, I'm worried about James once I'm gone." She paused for a moment. "It isn't as though Harry and I are leaving him in the dust or anything – on the contrary, he's inheriting nearly everything. It's just…he's always been so reckless - "

"I'll take care of him," Jamie interrupted, finally finding her voice. "Aunt Janine, he's a lot stronger than you'd believe."

"Oh, I know that," Janine replied, although her tone betrayed the words a bit. "It's just, well, he's my baby and I worry - "

"Jamie, Hannah is all prepped and ready to come home," Miriam interrupted jovially, wheeling in a small crib, a baby hidden inside pale yellow blankets. "I honestly don't think I've seen a more easygoing baby."

"Remus isn't here just yet," Jamie got to her feet, bending over her baby fondly, and then scooping her into her arms.

"Take your time," Miriam nodded with a warm smile before taking the now empty crib out of the room.

Jamie held her daughter close, pushing the blankets back to get a better view of her tiny face. Her eyes were open, taking in the world, and she reached a small hand up out of the blankets. Jamie sat back next to her aunt, who leaned forward for a better view.

"What a little angel," Janine breathed. "She looks so much like you and James did when you were just born."

Jamie gave a smile, and then offered her arms toward Janine. "Do you want to hold her?"

Without any sort of hesitation, Janine reached forward and took Hannah from Jamie's arms, staring down at her.

Despite her happy disposition at holding the child, she said quietly, "It really does pain me to know that this beautiful little girl is the closest I'll come to a grandchild."

"The Healers could be wrong, Aunt Janine," Jamie said, trying to put a happy spin on things. "It's not entirely unheard of."

"Oh, Jamie," Janine sighed, not looking up from Hannah. "I've been alive for quite some time now. While I don't want to leave my family, I'm square with the fact that it is my time."

"Don't say - "

"Jamie, I've lived," Janine looked at her niece and met her eyes. "I just want you to make sure that James continues living once I've passed."

Jamie fell silent and let her eyes fall down to Hannah. It seemed unreal that she had only been a mother for a little over a week. It felt as though she had been in her life for years and she couldn't imagine leaving her behind, not knowing what she would make of her life. Jamie swallowed hard, her eyes slowly stinging on the edges.

"I will, Aunt Janine," Jamie promised.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Remus rushed into the room, looking quite frazzled as he apologized. "My interview at the Magical Menagerie ran long – oh, hello, Mrs. Potter. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Janine gave Remus a smile before giving Hannah back to her mother. "It's all for the best, Remus. I should go back to my ward before I send some Healer into a panic."

"You didn't tell anyone you were leaving?" Jamie couldn't help but smile. The same thing had happened to her on her second day of work.

"Oh, they're too nosy for my liking," Janine answered, sending Jamie a wink. "I'll see you soon."

Jamie and Remus bid their goodbyes. After a few silent seconds after she left the room, Remus took a few timid steps toward Jamie and his daughter. He allowed a gentle hand to stroke the soft hair on the baby's head before looking up at Jamie, who seemed troubled.

"Are you all right?"

Jamie hesitated, and then met his eyes. "I think so."

When her face didn't show that she was actually all right, Remus pushed further, realizing that she had to have been thinking about Janine. "Is _she_ all right?"

Jamie hesitated once more, mulling over the thought. "You know what, love? I think she will be."

* * *

The next two weeks flew by in a whirl. Becoming wrapped up in their lives as adults, the friends had little time for each other. Between house hunting for James and Lily, baby proofing their house for Remus and Jamie, moving in together for Sirius and Jaclyn, and loads of work for Peter and Lauren, the only time left for friendly association was Order meetings. However, before they knew it, the end of August was looming just around the corner and another wedding was in their midst. 

But, rather than making last minute decisions regarding cake, napkins, and centrepieces, Jamie and Remus were laying in their bed, revering the fact their house was silent for the first time all night as the clock crept to 6:30 AM.

"Jamie - "

"Shhh!"

Remus snapped his mouth shut, and then ventured once more, "Why - "

"Remus," Jamie scolded in a voice hardly above a whisper. "If you talk, she'll wake up. If she wakes up, she's going to cry more."

Remus closed his mouth once more, and then rolled over onto his side so he was facing Jamie. Their eyes met and he tried again.

"I don't think we should rush into her bedroom every time she makes a noise," Remus said quietly, glancing over Jamie's shoulder to where the baby monitor was set, silent as ever.

Jamie gave Remus a look, and then softened it. "I know."

"So next time she cries…"

"I'll probably rush in there to rescue her."

Remus gave Jamie a stern look, then inched closer to her. Jamie smiled as he put a hand on her jaw line, leaning forward and kissing her softly. She returned the kiss, running a hand down his bare chest.

"You know," Remus said, moving from her lips to her neck as she brought her hands to his hair, showing him where to go. "I think you promised me something once the baby was born."

"Is that all I am to you?" Jamie asked playfully, her hands venturing down his neck.

"Yes," Remus replied, rolling underneath the comforter so he was situated above her, his lips softly caressing her neck and collarbone, slowly exploring lower and lower.

Jamie smiled, having missed this during the last few weeks of her pregnancy, when she felt more like a blimp than a woman. She let out a happy sigh as Remus began to push the bottom of her pyjama tank top up over her shrinking belly, spreading kisses everywhere.

Just as things began to heat up, a shrill cry filled the room, magically amplified from the baby monitor. Remus froze, lifted himself back over Jamie, and then fell limply next to her.

"Are we going to just let her cry?" Jamie asked, staring at the ceiling.

"I'll go," Remus sighed, sitting up and edging off the bed. "You need to go to work in a few hours. Try to get some sleep."

Remus left the room as Jamie turned the volume on the monitor down, hoping to catch a few minutes of undisturbed sleep. He closed the door and crossed the hallway to Hannah's bedroom. Since she had come early and they hadn't been expecting her, boxes were still littering the floor. Jamie had been planning on furnishing the room on her days off from St. Mungo's, but actually doing it was a whole different battle.

When Remus reached his daughter's crib, the crying turned into random hiccups as she looked at him. He smiled down at Hannah, who was studying him as though trying to place his face. Remus carefully bent over the edge of the crib and pulled her out, holding her close to his body.

As Remus cradled her in his arms, he felt a surging rush of love. He was still having difficulty registering that this was _his_ child – that _he_ was a father. It still seemed surreal, no matter how true it really was.

Hannah sniffed loudly once, bringing Remus back to earth. With a happy sigh, he carried her out of the bedroom and down the staircase.

"Are you hungry, Gracie?" Remus asked quietly, bee-lining across the sitting room and into the kitchen, to get a bottle.

As he fed his daughter, Remus paced slowly across the length of the fitting room. Realizing just how cold the morning air was in the room, he walked over to the old fireplace. Carefully, by balancing the bottle against his chest and holding Hannah in his left arm, he pulled out his wand and directed the tip toward the charred logs that hadn't been lit in nearly three days, when Jamie had talked to James about his mother's progress.

"_Incendio,"_ Remus muttered, the logs instantly bursting into flame.

As the flames licked the air, Remus returned to pacing the sitting room. As his mind wandered to his day ahead – filled with babysitting, job searching, and penny pinching – he didn't even notice as a redhead suddenly appeared in the fireplace.

"Remus!"

"Bloody hell!" Remus swore, jerking the bottle out of Hannah's mouth, making her cry again. "Here, Gracie," he coaxed her to take it once again, then hurried toward the fireplace. "Lily?"

"I've been trying to get hold of you two for a day now!" Lily said frantically, looking quite disheveled. "I was about to send an owl."

"What's going on?" Remus asked, carefully lowering himself to his knees, trying to keep Hannah pleased.

Lily's eyes glanced around and she lowered her voice. "James's mum died yesterday."

"Oh no," Remus replied in a hushed voice. "Is he all right?"

Lily heaved a large sigh, and then shook her head solemnly. "He's locked himself into the library."

Remus gave Lily a sympathetic look, knowing how hard it was for James to deal with hardships, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "Will he talk to Padfoot?"

"I think no is the easiest answer for that question," Lily replied, glancing over her shoulder once again. "Is Jamie awake?"

"I'm sure she still is."

"You know that she'll be the only one he'll talk to."

"We'll be there as soon as we can."

* * *

Whenever Lily had to deal with a death or other type of hardship, she did what she did best – Muggle baking. Having had no idea that magic was actually real the first eleven years of her life, her mum had been sure that she knew how to cook. Cooking Muggle style was a lot more time consuming and required more thought than just flicking a wand, thus it took her mind off of what was going on. 

Which is why the kitchen of the Potter Estate was filled with different confections – everything from muffins to brownies.

Since the two of them hadn't had time to find a house before they were wed, James and Lily had opted for staying at his parents' house until they were able to find a place to call their own. It had worked quite well thus far, until James had up and decided to lock himself into the library, which would only open by password. The only problem with that was the fact neither Lily nor Sirius knew what the password was.

As she poured batter into a cupcake pan and thought of her devastated husband, Lily felt her heart yearn one more time to be able to console him in some way. While she was normally good at helping others with their problems and making them feel better, she also needed a little leeway on the other person's part; she couldn't help someone unless they wanted help.

Lily sighed heavily and with one hand took the just finished tray of cupcakes out of the oven and replaced them with the ready-to-be-cooked tray. She set the tray down and surveyed the room, wondering what she might have missed. Before she could come to a conclusion, though, she heard what sounded like a burst of wind come from the sitting room and someone stumbling.

Hurrying into the room, Lily saw Jamie walking up to Sirius and hugging him tightly. Feeling awkward, as though she had walked in on a private moment, she hung around the doorway until they broke apart.

"Thank you for coming," Lily said, running her fingers through her unwashed hair.

"Of course I'd come," Jamie replied, looking as though she hadn't slept for days, which was very well the case.

There was a heavy silence as Jamie looked around the sitting room, remembering how she had inherited her aunt's need for capturing every moment. All around her were pictures of her family, waving at her fervently. With great effort, she tore her eyes away from the frames and looked at her two friends.

"When was the last time either of you talked to him?"

"Not since we came back from St. Mungo's," Lily answered, playing with the pocket of the apron she had found in one of the cupboards.

Jamie put on an exasperated look, and then asked, "And he won't even talk to Sirius?"

"I tried to ambush him when he tried to sneak into the bathroom," Sirius replied, turning his head so that Jamie got a better view of the deep purple bruise forming on his eye. "I'm not terribly keen on trying again."

With a grimace, Jamie asked, "And you want _me_ to try?"

"We can't even get into the library," Sirius sighed, crossing his arms.

"Oh."

"You do know the password, right?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Of course I know the password," Jamie waved a hand dismissively.

"Then you _will_ talk to him?"

Jamie hesitated a moment, then answered, "I'll try. But what makes you think he'll talk to me if he won't talk to either of you?"

"Look," Lily started, her eyes filling with tears suddenly, surprising even herself. "I didn't know James's mum like you two did. I'd only met her a few times and it hurts that I wasn't able to know someone as wonderful as her. I can't do anything for him right now, no matter how much I love him. _Please_, Jamie – I need you to help him for me."

Jamie gave Lily a sad look before walking up to her and wrapping her arms around her best mate. A moment passed before Sirius joined in the hug.

After a few moments, the three broke apart. After wiping her face free of tears, Jamie took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"Here goes," she said quietly. "Remus will be here soon with Hannah."

As she walked through the kitchen, Jamie hardly noticed the influx of baked goods. Rather, she grabbed two muffins – they looked like blueberry, which was James's favourite – and walked through the familiar house to the library. Everything about the house held a memory for her. From the scrawled drawings Janine had left on the walls years after James and Jamie had made them to where Harry had put notches in the door frame of the library, marking the growth patterns of the two cousins up until they were nearly fifteen.

Jamie put her free hand against the dark mahogany door and closed her eyes, frightened of what was going to happen once she entered.

"Meilleur ami," Jamie recited, remembering how upset her aunt and uncle had been when they not only found out that they had put the password on the door when they were ten, but that the password was in French. However, they had never put forth any effort into making them get rid of or change the password, no matter how stern they had pretended to be.

Jamie heard a quiet click within the door and she put her hand on the knob. As she pushed the door open, a flickering light escaped, despite that the sun was halfway through rising. She quickly slipped into the room and silently shut the door once more. She observed that the curtains had been completely drawn on the large bay window and the light was coming from a candle.

She continued searching the room, unable to find James, and nearly jumped out her skin when he spoke from where he was laying with his stomach against the floor, his face away from Jamie.

"Go the hell away."

Jamie rolled her eyes, wishing that her cousin didn't have to continuously opt to be a complete and utter drama queen, then instantly felt horrible given the circumstances. She stepped across the room, setting the muffins next to the candle, which was on a desk. Careful not to step on James, she found herself on her stomach, right next to him. His eyes were closed and his glasses resting next to him. Once he realized someone else was next to him, he opened his hazel eyes, a bit taken aback to see Jamie.

"I thought you were Sirius," he explained quietly, his eyes squinting.

Jamie didn't know what to say or how to respond so she just kept eye contact with him. He blinked a few times, obviously expecting some sort of plea to change his clothes or eat something.

"What do you want?"

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself," Jamie replied tersely.

James glanced away from Jamie, and then looked almost apologetic. However, his face quickly recovered.

"You don't know what I'm going through."

"I didn't say I did."

"Both of your parents are alive," James continued.

"I'm well aware of that fact."

"So, don't try to convince me that you know how I'm feeling, because you don't."

"I wasn't going to," Jamie replied simply.

They fell silent once more, James looking a bit guilty for bursting out like that.

"You know, Lily's lost both of her parents," Jamie reminded him.

"I know," James nodded.

"Then why are you refusing to talk to her?"

James hesitated, obviously not completely understanding himself. Finally, he said, "I don't want her to see me like this."

"She's your wife."

"I know."

Silence enveloped them once again and for the first time in their eighteen years of life, Jamie was at a loss as to what she could say to James. Finally, slowly, he began to talk again.

"It feels as though everything's stopped. I know that it hasn't and that I need to go out and prepare for the funeral and contact family members, but I can't. I can't look Lily and Sirius in the eye, knowing that they're pitying me. I can't even be square with the fact that you're in just as much pain as me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, what I'm supposed to say. I feel like everyone is watching me, waiting for me, James Potter, to finally flip my lid. I can't deal with that kind of pressure." He closed his eyes, his face screwing up. "There's so much I should have done."

"James, this isn't your fault," Jamie said quietly.

"I keep thinking back over the years," James continued as though she hadn't said anything, his eyes still closed. "I used to take such advantage of my parents, all because I knew that they were more than willing to spoil me. I was their little miracle and I played that up. I would avoid spending time with them, opting to hang out with my friends. I would throw it in their face during arguments." He opened his eyes and met Jamie's. "I was such a berk."

"They loved you."

"And I took advantage of that," James shut his eyes once more. "I should have told them I loved them more. I should have stayed home for family dinners rather. I should - "

"You need to realize you're saying all of this through hindsight," Jamie interrupted. "There was no way you could have known how everything would end up, James."

They were quiet again, the only sound coming from the massive grandfather clock in the corner. After a while, James's eyes opened once more and he gave Jamie a look of utmost defeat.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye."

Jamie swallowed hard; the same thought had been running through her head since her aunt Janine had visited her at St. Mungo's. Not knowing what to say, Jamie allowed her hand to travel to James's. Their fingers intertwined and their eyes held each other.

"Neither am I," Jamie admitted, feeling tears drift out of her eyes and down the side of her face to the wood flooring. "But, James, they aren't really gone unless you let them be. We need to remember them, act as though they'd want us to, talk about the good times."

James just looked at Jamie, and then sighed. "You're right."

"Just take it one day at a time," Jamie squeezed his hand.

James let out another sigh. "Sometimes I wish I could rewind a few years. Life seemed so perfect then, you know?"

"Life is never as perfect as it seems," Jamie shook her head. "It needs to be messy now and again, otherwise it won't be life."

"I – I just don't know what to do," James burst out suddenly, tears welling up in his eyes. "I miss them so much, Jamie."

Without another word, they both sat up and Jamie wrapped her arms around her sobbing cousin, joining in his crying. She carefully rocked him back and forth and loving stroked his back, burying her face in the back of his neck as his face was buried into her shoulder.

"We still have each other, love," Jamie said quietly, fighting past her tears.

James said something, but it was muffled into her shoulder and undecipherable. When she didn't reply, he straightened up a bit and their arms relaxed around one another.

"I love you, Jamie," he said, meeting her eyes seriously. "I don't know if I've ever said that before. I really do."

Jamie felt her heart catch in her chest and pulled him close to her again, his head resting on her chest. She leaned her cheek against the top of his head and swallowed hard.

"I love you, too."

"Please don't make me go out there just yet."

"Not until you're ready."

James shifted, obviously a bit surprised that she wasn't going to force him among the living. He relaxed once more.

"Thank you."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** I was going to do this in two parts, but La Mariposa convinced me (well, she told me, basically lol) to keep this as one chapter. It was terribly sad to write, as I'm sure you can imagine. It's nearly 5AM and I've been at this since around 11PM, but I was on a roll. Once I have a thought process, I need to follow through or I won't be able to do write it as perfect as I see it in my mind's eye. I'm crazy like that. (-:_

_Anyways, please let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!_

PS: My cousin pointed out to me that a lot of the conversation between Jamie and James is like something in another fic, "I Am My Own Knight." At first I was a bit offended, because I didn't try to do that, but comparing the two it is awful similar. While I had read the other fic before reading this, I didn't intend to do that at all. In fact, much of the conversation that they're holding is based off of a real life discussion I had with a very good friend of mine when his younger brother died. That's part of the reason this chapter was so hard for me, because it really brought back a lot of memories from that time. So, I apologize ahead of time for any similiarities and if pasmosa happens to read this and thinks they're too_ related, I'm more than willing to come to a compromise. However, as I said, I didn't do it on purpose - so please don't sue me over a fanfiction, hehe.  
_


	33. Sally's Song

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Sally's Song" is from The Nightmare Before Christmas and I do not own it in any way._

**  
Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-three: Sally's Song**

_I sense there's something in the wind  
That feels like tragedy's at hand  
And though I'd like to stand by him  
Can't shake this feeling that I have  
The worst is just around the bend_

"I really wish you weren't going," Lauren said for the millionth time as she watched Peter mill about in his bedroom.

"And I really wish you'd stop telling me that," Peter replied, pulling a folded up pair of socks from a cardboard box. He was in the middle of packing for the move he was planning on making to the small flat he and Lauren had found just outside of London. "I'm not changing my mind."

"But, really, Peter," Lauren said, her voice pleading. "Promise me this isn't just Sirius and James brainwashing you."

Peter gave Lauren a highly scandalized look. "They haven't _brainwashed_ me, Lauren."

"Oh, I know," said Lauren hastily, biting down on her lip. She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then tried a different tactic. "Well, since Jaclyn and Sirius are both obviously going to be gone for quite some time, why don't you stay here and we can run a bath and - "

"Lauren," Peter interrupted, his voice oddly firm with her. "While there is little more I would like than for us to spend the evening together, I need to go to this meeting."

Lauren exhaled deeply, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking positively dejected. Peter walked toward her and began unfolding the socks. He swallowed hard and was careful to soften his tone.

"Look, I missed the last meeting because of work," Peter continued, pulling his socks onto his feet. "Honestly, I'm not even supposed to let you know when we have meetings since you're not in the Order."

"And I wish _you_ weren't," Lauren said quietly, pulling her legs up to her chest and leaning her head on her knees as she watched him. "The others act as though we're still at Hogwarts. It's not as though we have the castle walls to protect us anymore."

"Hence why I'm in the Order," Peter tilted his head to match her gaze. He couldn't help but smirk at her. "I want to keep you safe."

"So you're leaving me alone?"

"Don't play coy with me," Peter let his smirk widen into an amused grin. "Remus already told me you're keeping Jamie and Hannah company."

No matter how hard she tried, Lauren was unable to return the grin. "You caught me."

"Of course I did," Peter leaned forward, kissing her softly. However, nearly instantly, he straightened back up and checked his watch. "I have to get going."

"All right," Lauren replied dejectedly, letting her feet slide off the bed as he got up.

"Promise me you'll go straight to Jamie and Remus's," Peter said seriously, slipping into his trainers.

"I promise," Lauren nodded, getting to her feet as well. "I'm going by Floo."

"Good," Peter nodded, and then glanced around the room as though he was trying to remember if he forgot anything. "Well, I'll be off."

"Please be careful," Lauren said, surprised at the sudden burst of emotion as her lip trembled.

Peter gave her a worried look, just as surprised as she was. Lauren was normally quite cool and collected – a hothead, yes, but she rarely shed a tear. He took a few cautious steps toward her and put a hand on her arm.

"It's just a meeting, Lauren," Peter said in a comforting tone, looking down into her big, brown eyes. "I'll only be gone a few hours or so."

"I know," Lauren admitted, feeling annoyed with herself. "Just, please be careful?"

"I'll be careful," Peter nodded, wrapping his arms around Lauren and feeling a bit confused. "Nothing will happen, I promise."

"Good," Lauren said, her voice muffled as it was pressed against Peter's shoulder.

"I'm so lucky to have you," Peter sighed in content, enjoying the feeling of their arms around each other. "I love you."

Lauren looked into his eyes and said, "I love you more."

Peter smirked. "I love me more, too."

"What was that?" Lauren asked, her jaw dropping.

"I mean, oh, darling, you're a gift from heaven," Peter replied, unable to keep from grinning widely. "You know I love you, too."

"That's better," Lauren nodded. "Sirius taught you well."

Peter chuckled as the grandfather clock in the library began to chime and announce that it was seven o'clock.

"I really need to go," Peter pulled away from her. "I'll see you later tonight."

"I'll wait up for you," Lauren nodded as he hurried out of the room, a popping noise echoing back after a few seconds.

Lauren let out a large sigh, realizing that she was all alone in the sizable flat. Although she hadn't officially moved into the flat with Peter, many of her things scattered the room. Once Jaclyn and Sirius had started dating and Jaclyn had began to stay at the flat more than a few nights out of the week, Lauren took that as an invitation for her to do the same. No one had protested – least of all Peter – but she was still excited to have a place with Peter to call their own. She had often made fun of Jamie at Hogwarts when she would talk about how excited she was to move in with Remus, but she understood exactly what she had meant now.

_'That's right – Jamie,'_ Lauren mentally smacked herself, remembering that she had promised to be at their house before Remus and Peter had to leave for their meeting.

Swiftly, Lauren hurried through the flat and into the sitting room. She pulled a handful of Floo powder out of a tin can Sirius stored it in – she made a mental note to buy him some soon – and threw it into the small licks of flame that were barely alive.

After spinning through the Floo, Lauren stumbled into Jamie and Remus's sitting room. She was greeted to the sight of Jamie sitting cross-legged on their sofa, Hannah resting in her lap and a bottle resting against her stomach. In front of her she was holding a bridal magazine. She gave Lauren a welcoming smile before adjusting the bottle for Hannah.

"Hi, Lauren."

"What are you looking at?" Lauren asked, sitting next to Jamie, careful not to disturb Hannah.

"Some flower arrangements," Jamie replied, moving so Lauren could have a better look. "It's just over a week and it seems like Remus and I haven't made any decisions whatsoever."

"You have you dress," Lauren smiled sheepishly.

"This is true," Jamie nodded seriously, flipping the pages. "You _do_ like yours, right? You weren't just saying - "

"Jamie, it's bloody beautiful, all right?" Lauren answered, rolling her eyes. Jamie had asked each of the girls the same question countless times since they made the final decision. "I love it."

"Okay, good," Jamie nodded again.

"Sorry I was late, by the way," Lauren added, leaning back in the sofa.

"Don't worry about it," Jamie shrugged. "Remus is too paranoid for his own good. I wish I could have gone, though."

"Why didn't you?" Lauren asked.

In answer, Jamie set the magazine in Lauren's lap, took the bottle out of Hannah's mouth, and brought her up to where a towel was draped over her shoulder. As she began to burp the baby, she gave Lauren a wry smile.

"I don't think Hannah really needs to be around that sort of thing," Jamie sighed. "Remus and I are taking turns going. Once she's old enough we'll get a babysitter."

"I see," Lauren replied, watching Jamie. "Everything is okay with her, right? You know, since she was so early and all."

"She's fine," Jamie nodded, making a face as Hannah burped. She brought the baby back down to her lap and folding up the towel. "Thankfully."

Lauren nodded, watching as Jamie carefully rubbed her daughter's belly. "She's sweet."

"Yeah, she is," Jamie nodded. Then, she gave Lauren a sideways glance. "Why were you late? You brought it up, so I'm guessing that you want to talk about it."

With a sigh, Lauren brought her hands above her head and stared across the room into the kitchen. "Peter and I were sort of arguing."

"Sort of?"

"About the Order."

"Oh."

"It's not that I don't want him to be in the Order," Lauren said quickly, trying to explain herself. "I just worry, that's all."

Jamie let out a long breath and looked down at Hannah, carefully stroking her soft dark hair. She reached over Lauren and grabbed a pale pink pacifier and put it in Hannah's mouth.

"Lauren - "

"You really can't make me change my mind on how I feel about the Order, Jamie," Lauren said in a dark tone.

"I know," Jamie replied quickly, meeting her friend's eye. "I never tried to make you think otherwise. We're all entitled to our own opinions of things."

Lauren fell silent, playing with the frayed ends of her blue jeans. "I just don't understand how you of all people can be so for it when you have a budding family."

"That's why Remus and I are fighting, Lauren," Jamie said firmly, watching Lauren even though she had long since looked away. "Honestly, had Hannah not been a complete surprise, I wouldn't have chosen to bring a child into the dark times we're in right now. People are dying left and right and the world just isn't a place for innocent people anymore. However, that's why we're all fighting. I want Hannah to be able to grow up in a world that won't judge her because she isn't pureblood and her father is a werewolf." Her face suddenly changed and looked as though she had eaten something rotten. "Then again, I'm sure the werewolf stigma will never _really_ go away."

Lauren managed an uncomfortable chuckle and spared a look at Jamie. "To be honest, I'm just afraid that I'm going to have to go through the same thing my mum did." At Jamie's questioning look, she continued. "You know in the third year when my aunt died? My mum was completely devastated and she never completely got over it. I honestly think that's part of the reason my dad left her. She was always depressed and it got to be too much for him."

Jamie gave Lauren a sympathetic look, but before she could say anything, Lauren interrupted her.

"I just don't want Peter or you or one of the girls to die," she admitted in a very quiet voice. "You can't tell me you want to die."

Jamie swallowed hard and looked down at Hannah. After a moment's hesitation, she said, "There are things worth dying for."

"What about your friends and family?"

"Lauren, if I die, it'll be for my friends and family," Jamie said, then gave Lauren a very pointed look.

"Surely you don't _want_ to die," Lauren asked in a dull voice.

"Of course I don't want to die," Jamie replied offhandedly. "However, if I do die in the Order, at least I'll be trying to protect the people I love." She met Lauren's eyes. "And that is why Peter is in the Order, too. He wants to know that you'll be okay."

Lauren gave a long, resigned sigh, knowing that there was no way she would win this one. "I see what you're saying, but I still wish he wouldn't go out there like that."

"It isn't as though we just go out there blind, you know," Jamie raised an eyebrow. "I haven't gone on a mission yet because of timing, but from what James has told me, they're careful that everyone is properly matched up with an Auror. We're careful."

"But - "

"You're not going to change my mind either, Lauren," Jamie managed a smile and picked up her magazine once more. "Now, what do you think about these flowers?"

* * *

Remus staggered through the front door of his house, not registering how dark it was. It was a good thing Sirius had offered to get him home, as he wouldn't have been able to do it on his own. He nearly fell on his way over to the cupboard that held all of their potions and other such necessities. Wrenching it open, he searched for a pale yellow potion, but with the lack of light in the room he was unable to see anything. 

Patting his robes, Remus located his wand and pulled it out. Concentrating hard, he tried to remember the charm he needed to recite.

"L – Lima," he tried, thinking hard. "Wait, no – _Lumos_!"

The tip of his wand lit up and he quickly found the potion. Years ago Madam Pomfrey had been explaining the different potions and lotions she used on Remus and accidentally let slip that she had, on occasion, drank a small bit of the yellow potion in order to alleviate the symptoms of being drunk. Remus couldn't help but smirk at the memory, but popped the vial and took a quick swallow – not too much, or Jamie would notice.

The potion worked almost instantly. Remus felt the dizziness fall away and his mind slowly cleared from the cloud. He breathed a sigh of relief, but then tensed up when he remembered why he had been drinking in the first place.

Looking around the room, he realized for the first time that it was completely dark, except for some smoldering coals in the fireplace. Panic surged through him and only ebbed slightly when he realized that there was no sign of struggle or the Dark Mark above the house.

"Jamie?" Remus called, putting the potion back in its proper place and shutting the front of the cupboard with a quiet slam. "Where are you?"

When she didn't answer, he panicked once more and hurried through the house and up the stairs to the upper level. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the door to the bedroom he shared with Jamie was standing open and the flickering light emitting from it meant she was probably reading by candlelight.

"There you are," Remus smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

"Lauren kept nodding off, so I told her to go ahead on home," Jamie explained, setting her book down in her lap. "I didn't think you'd be back so late."

"Yeah, well," Remus's smile turned sheepish. "You know."

Jamie couldn't help but smile back. "Let me know next time, all right?"

Remus nodded, walking into the room and taking his robe off. "How was your night?"

"Uneventful," Jamie shrugged, placing her bookmark in her book and setting it on the bedside table next to the baby monitor. "Hannah threw up on Lauren."

"That's uneventful?" Remus asked, unable to suppress a grin as he began to undress.

"It was quite humourous," Jamie admitted, watching him. "She then vowed to never have children."

Remus chuckled, then flopped down onto the bed in only his boxers so his head landed in Jamie's lap. He looked up and met her eyes.

"You're not even going to put on pyjamas?" Jamie asked, shaking her head in mock distaste.

"Nope," Remus replied, burying his face in the comforter.

As Jamie began to play with his hair, Remus's mind wandered back to the meeting, nervous about talking to Jamie about it. He just hoped that she would give him some time to think of a way to bring it up to her, rather than spring it upon him.

"How was James?"

"As well as can be expected," Remus sighed, moving so his words weren't muffled. "Lily said he's been somewhat reckless, but not nearly as bad as he was at first."

"Did Sirius say how he was during Auror training?"

"The same as Lily," Remus sighed.

"It's his way of dealing with everything," Jamie explained, running her fingers down Remus's bare back. "I'd rather him do that than keep it all bottled up inside, you know?"

"I suppose," Remus agreed, moving so that he was under the comforter with her, but placed his head back onto her stomach.

He fell silent and didn't see as Jamie raised an eyebrow, confused by his actions.

"Is everything all right?"

"Of course," Remus answered too quickly.

Not wanting to push him, Jamie replied, "Okay."

After a few silent moments, Jamie slid down so that she was even with him, both of their heads on pillows, but their bodies pressed up against one another's. Remus wrapped his arms around Jamie, who linked her fingers with his. He lightly kissed her shoulder and she shivered at the sensation his warm breath gave her.

"Are you sure everything is all right?" Jamie asked once more, quietly. "Did something happen at the meeting that you're not telling me about?"

Remus hesitated a moment too long, making it impossible for him to lie again. Having no idea what to say, he dived right in.

"Dumbledore talked to me after the meeting," Remus started slowly, tightening his grip around her.

"What'd he have to say?" Jamie asked after he paused for a few seconds.

"Nothing terribly important," he managed, and then sighed heavily. "He asked me if I would be interested in going on a bit of a different mission."

"Really?" Jamie asked, sounding impressed. "What sort of mission?"

Remus paused a moment, then ventured forward. "He wants me to try to talk the werewolves into being on our side."

Jamie hesitated, and then asked, "Are you serious?"

"I didn't give him an answer!" Remus answered hastily as Jamie forced him to let go of her as she straightened up into a sitting position. "I told him I had to talk it over with you first, seeing as our wedding is coming up and with Hannah being so little and - "

"Remus, stop," Jamie interrupted, holding a hand up. "What else did Dumbledore say?"

"I'd have to go underground," Remus continued, sitting up as well. "That's the main reason I couldn't give him an answer. It's mighty dangerous and I would be gone for weeks or months at a time and I don't want to leave you here alone."

Jamie nodded, looking thoughtful. Then, she surprised him by saying, "Love, you know that we're barely scraping by right now, right?"

Remus blinked a few times, looking confused. "What?"

"They're going easy on us at St. Mungo's because I work there and with our situation and all, but I'm not looking forward to receiving the bill," Jamie explained, looking away from him. "And we still have to pay our rent, feed ourselves _and_ Hannah, cloth her, because she's going to grow far too quickly. We also have to - "

"Jamie, where did this come from?" Remus asked, furrowing his brow.

"I think you need to get a job soon," Jamie bit her lip, struggling to meet his eye. "I know you want to write your book and save the world, but right now we have to focus on making ends meet."

It was obvious that Jamie had been thinking about this for quite some time now but hadn't known when a good time would be to voice it.

"It's not that I don't want you to write your book or help the Order, but our family is important, too, right?"

"Of course it's important!" Remus exclaimed.

Jamie opened her mouth to say something, but her face fell. "Oh, Merlin."

"What?"

"I sound just like Lauren, don't I," she sighed, falling back into the bed.

"No, you don't," Remus said fervently, resting on his side and placing a hand on her stomach. "You're just worried."

"You need to do what you need to do, Remus," Jamie said with urgency. "Please don't let me stop you from doing what you think is right."

Remus exhaled slowly. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I told Dumbledore I'd let him know by the next meeting."

Jamie didn't say anything, but leaned forward to kiss Remus. "Whatever decision you make will be the right one."

"I suppose."

Jamie let out a laugh. "Firewhiskey?"

"What?"

"You drank firewhiskey tonight, didn't you?" she exclaimed, inching closer to him.

"Maybe," Remus replied with a sparkle in his eye.

"Well, good," Jamie brought her hands around his neck, and then quoted him from that night in Hogsmeade nearly a year earlier. "You know, so I can have my way with you."

Remus laughed and replied, "I knew that would come back to haunt me."

Jamie pulled him down so their faces were nearly touching. "Is it really so bad that it's haunting you?"

"I could think of worse things," Remus smirked, and then closed the gap between them.

* * *

_**Author's Note: ** You would not believe how hard it was for me to find lyrics for this chapter. Jeez. Like pulling teeth, I tellsyah. Anyways - did you know Lauren and Peter were in this story? Haha.. Yeah, I thought that they definitely needed a little attention, especially with what is to come. Dun dun dun.. (-:_

_Thanks for reading - please let me know what you think!_


	34. Take Me As I Am

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Take Me As I Am" is from Jekyll and Hyde and I do not own it in any way._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-four: Take Me As I Am**

_Give me your hand  
Give me your heart  
Swear to me we'll never part  
You know who I am  
This is who I am  
Take me as I am_

"It just seems unnatural, you know?" Lily sighed, leaning her chin on the palm of her hand, watching as the newlywed couple danced closely.

"What do you mean?" Jaclyn asked, tipping back her second fluke of champagne since dinner.

"She was so _sure_," Lily furrowed her brow. "I definitely don't regret marrying James or anything, but it seems so mental that she didn't even have any doubts."

"They've basically been married for three years," Lauren rolled her eyes, demonstrating just how disgusting Jamie and Remus were. "They just needed to get all gussied up to announce it."

"They're mental," Lily decided, straightening up as the band finished the song.

The three women watched as Remus leaned forward and whispered something into Jamie's ear. Her mouth split into a grin instantly and she pushed herself onto her tiptoes, kissing him lightly. There was a resounding, "Aw!" and they split apart, blushing - they had obviously forgotten that they had a small audience of friends and family.

"Get a room!" Sirius shouted from the back of the hall where he was standing with James and Peter.

"Unacceptable behaviour!" James added sternly, and then gave a furtive glance toward McGonagall, who didn't look nearly as severe as usual, with her tipped hat and mug of Butterbeer in front of her.

Obviously hoping to rescue the couple from further embarrassment, the lead singer of the band announced the mother-son dance. Jamie and Remus shared one more quick kiss before Sylvia took Jamie's place.

As the music began, Jamie retreated to where her friends were sitting - not before giving Sirius and James a highly contemptuous look. She was a bit flushed as she fell into one of the chairs at the table.

"Having fun?" Jaclyn greeted.

"I'm married," Jamie replied with a small smile on her face.

"I've noticed," Lauren let out a laugh, absentmindedly playing with the hot wax dripping down the side of one of the candles on the table.

"It's a bit too late to back out now," Lily pointed out, waving a hand toward Jamie's left hand.

"Oh, I definitely don't want to back out," Jamie cast a dreamy look toward Remus.

Lauren began to make loud retching noises. Lily and Jaclyn nodded in agreement, which only made Jamie laugh again.

"Oh, he's so wonderful, isn't he?"

"I should've thrown you out our window like I threatened to in the fifth year," Lily said plainly, crossing her legs daintily.

"Bloody hell, I'll just throw her out one of these windows," Lauren gestured wildly at the walls.

They hadn't had a large sum of money to devote to the wedding, so Jamie and Remus had decided to have it take place at a small church in Remus's hometown. His mum had hinted at her desires for them to be wed in a church setting and, as Jamie's family wasn't terribly religious, they had gone along with it. The church was two stories, so they were able to have the ceremony in the nave and then retreat into the fellowship hall for the reception. It wasn't nearly as lavish as Hogwarts, but they didn't mind at all.

Jamie began to protest, but was distracted as James set a fluke of champagne down in front of her as he, Sirius, and Peter came to join them.

"Oh, James," Jamie gushed, looking at the fluke with desire. "I haven't had any alcohol since Christmas."

"Then you're overdue," James smirked, leaning down to kiss Lily on the cheek.

"Chug it," Sirius egged her on.

Jamie brought the fluke to her lips, and then thought better of it. "I don't trust you."

"What?" Peter asked, his eyes wide in mock surprise. "After all these years?"

"I, for one, am horribly offended," Sirius put a hand over his heart as though wounded.

"All right, then, Black, drink it yourself," Jamie raised an eyebrow and gingerly pushed the glassware toward him.

"Oh, look, Jamie," Sirius said suddenly, pointing toward the dance floor. "Looks like it's your turn to dance with your dad."

Jamie glanced over her shoulder and saw that he wasn't joking, but sent him one more look before getting to her feet.

Remus took Jamie's place at the table, the same dreamy expression that had been gracing Jamie's face on his own. Before he could say anything, Sirius pushed the fluke toward Remus.

"Here you are, mate, drink up."

"I've known you since we were eleven," Remus said simply, looking quite scandalized.

"So you should know I'd never do anything like this on your wedding day."

"You drink it first."

As the others laughed, Sirius allowed an annoyed sound to escape from the back of his throat. He got to his feet and began to pull Jaclyn up as well.

"You and your wife have the same mind," Sirius pretended to be offended. "Come, Jaclyn, let us go snog someplace."

"Fine by me," Jaclyn agreed, tipping the rest of her own champagne down her throat before they could hurry off.

"Wife," Remus said once, as though trying it on for size. "I rather like that."

"If you divorce her or anything of the sort, I'll kill you, Moony," James said suddenly from the other side of Lily.

Lily gasped and smacked James once on his arm. "James!"

"When we first started dating it was only a black eye," Remus pointed out, reaching across the table, past the champagne his friends tried to have him and Jamie drink, and to the half-empty flask of Sirius's.

"Well, your relationship has changed a bit, hasn't it?" James asked seriously, raising an eyebrow.

"You threatened him?" Lauren asked, wide-eyed. "I thought that was something only older brothers were allowed to do."

"She's only older by a few weeks," James waved his hand dismissively.

"He threatened Padfoot, too," Peter spoke up.

"It's too bad I had to follow through, though," James replied thoughtfully. "You know, with him being my best mate and all."

"So _that's_ how he got that," Lily smirked. "I remember asking him about it and he refused to go into any detail."

"Like he'd admit that Prongs of all people punched him in the face," Remus rolled his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a full coatroom down the hallway from the hall, a groomsman and bridesmaid were focusing an awful lot on each other. Sirius had Jaclyn leaned up against the only part of wall that didn't have a coat rack on it, one of his hands pressing against the small of her back and the other softly caressing her shoulder. 

Jaclyn dispelled a sigh of pleasure and relief. This felt so right. It always felt so right. She knew it was right. Yet, there was still something nagging her in the back of her mind.

The week prior to the wedding, she had woken up one night, unable to find Sirius in the flat yet again. This was only the second time it had happened - usually she slept right through the night or, if she did wake up, he was right next to her as always - but it still made her uneasy. Where could he have gone to in the middle of the night? She felt a chill go through her as she thought about the places he _could_ have gone, each of them relating to a home wrecking vixen of some sort.

Sirius seemed to sense her troubled mind and stopped what he was doing. "Is something the matter?"

_'I think that you're cheating on me,'_ Jaclyn thought, but only forced a smile. "Of course not."

Sirius gave Jaclyn a thoughtful look, not believing her at all. "I want us to be able to be honest with each other."

_'Are you honestly going to tell me that you're cheating on me?'_ Jaclyn was glad that Sirius could _really_ read her mind.

"We haven't been together terribly long, but we should be able to talk to each other," Sirius continued.

"I'm fine, Sirius," Jaclyn reiterated, giving him what she hoped was a slightly irritated look.

"Are you sure?"

Jaclyn hesitated, knowing that he wasn't going to let this lie. She didn't want to accuse him f anything without having any sort of proof. For all she knew, he was just leaving to get an early sale on potions at Diagon Alley or something daft like that.

"I'm scared of you, I think," Jaclyn admitted, surprised that she even said it.

"What?" Sirius asked, a bit of an amused look on his face.

Jaclyn swallowed hard. "I suppose it's just that I'm all out of excuses for not letting myself fall for you, like I tried to convince myself to at Hogwarts."

"You had excuses at one point in time?"

"They were all terribly daft, like we were trying to break up the couple whose wedding we're at right now, or you were dating Charlie or I was with Mani," Jaclyn said offhandedly. "Nothing _too_ important."

Sirius couldn't help but let out a laugh, his hand still pressing against the small of her back so their hips were pressed against one another's.

"You see, you've never done anything but exceed expectations," Jaclyn sighed, glad that she could get _this_ off her chest at least. "I can't keep running from what would be the bet thing in my life - despite how bloody frightened I am of you."

"Why are you so frightened of me?" Sirius asked.

"You've loved a lot of people, Sirius."

"Not how I love you," he answered without hesitation. "Jaclyn, I'll stop loving you when the world stops spinning."

Despite how corny the line was, Jaclyn couldn't help but feel her heart melt a bit inside of her. "Oh, Sirius."

"Oh, Jaclyn," Sirius replied with a smile as she brought her hands behind his neck, pulling him lower to kiss him hard.

_'Yes, this _is_ right,'_ Jaclyn thought to herself as Sirius's hand travelled down her side and pushed the fabric of her knee length dress up so he could run his fingers down the soft skin of her thigh. Jaclyn, meanwhile, began to pull at his tie, having already pushed his suit coat off ages ago. Sirius's lips continued to explore to the crook of Jaclyn's neck, causing her to let out a small groan. Giving up on the tie, Jaclyn's hands began to slide down his chest and stop at his hips. She began to fumble with the clasp on his leather belt, which made Sirius find her lips again.

Suddenly, the door to the coatroom opened, flooding it with light from the hallway. James, who looked as though he wasn't fazed in the least by the predicament he had found his two friends in, looked more or less relieved to have found them.

"I don't know why I didn't look here in the first place," James rolled his eyes as Jaclyn and Sirius broke apart, quickly trying to put themselves back together. "Honestly, we're at a _church_."

Jaclyn and Sirius shared a sheepish look - they had obviously overlooked that fact. Trying to seem dignified, Sirius cleared his throat as he refastened his belt.

"Do you need something, Prongs?"

"They're about to cut the cake and want to get pictures of the whole wedding party," James explained, rooted directly to his spot at the entrance. "I was sent to come get you."

"Thanks, James," Jaclyn sighed, glancing at herself in a small mirror on one wall. She didn't look _too_ much like she'd been snogging.

"Padfoot, your jacket's right there," James pointed to opposite corner of where they were standing.

"Thanks, Prongs," Sirius muttered in the same tone Jaclyn had used. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, immensely," James grinned.

"You'll probably pay for this later," Sirius pulled the jacket on and followed James out of the coatroom, Jaclyn behind him.

"We were just discussing how _I_ gave you a black back in the fifth year," James grinned at his best mate.

"I thought we vowed never to speak of that again," Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"You had told me that was from a Slytherin seventh year," Jaclyn spoke up, glad to add to the conversation.

"Prongs, I'm going to pummel you," Sirius said under his breath.

"I'm shaking in my leather shoes," James shot back. "Now, don't be so depressed that I broke up your snogging session."

"It's chocolate cake, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yes."

"I think I'll manage to be happy, then."

"You're easily satisfied, aren't you?" Jaclyn laughed, pushing the door open to the fellowship hall.

"When it comes to cake, yes," Sirius nodded, leading them to where the others were impatiently waiting, cameras poised and ready.

* * *

"Are you sure you guys don't need help cleaning up?" Lily asked once more, looking around the hall. "I mean, we can - " 

"Go!" Jamie insisted, smiling at her best mate. "We'll be fine."

"You're already doing enough for us by watching Hannah a few days," Remus added.

"But - "

"Go!" Jamie and Remus said in unison, laughing as James had to literally pull Lily away.

Once they were gone, Jamie almost felt as though they should have taken her up on that offer. However, Remus just pulled his wand out and began to strip down tables and stack chairs. As she watched from where she was standing, Jamie couldn't help smiling at him. She thought of her parents, who had left a while ago with Hannah - they were watching her for most of their honeymoon, but their friends had agreed to help as well - and how they had seemed so happy, despite all of the drama that had led up to the actual wedding.

Jamie let out a long sigh and sat down in one of the few chairs Remus hadn't flown across the room. Before long, the room was back to its original state.

"How dare they leave the bride and groom to do all the cleaning," Remus sighed, pretending to be quite scandalized.

Jamie just smiled happily at him as he came over to her, sitting in the chair next to her. He put a hand on hers.

"Everything all right?"

"Everything is perfect."

Remus smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

"You know what's funny?" Jamie asked, turning toward him and wrapping her fingers around his.

"What's that?"

"If someone would have told me a year ago I'd be both a wife and a mother by now, I would've said they were completely bonkers," Jamie ventured, looking thoughtful. "I would have said that my life was already perfect - you know, minus those small glitches that will always be there because I'm such a drama queen. But, you know, it isn't just me being a drama queen anymore - my whole life is changing now."

"And?" Remus asked as she paused.

"And I think I rather like it," Jamie admitted, leaning forward to kiss him. "While most people would want to grow up in stride, I could be happier with where my life is and how everything ended up."

"I'm glad to hear that," Remus nodded, pulling Jamie to her feet and close to him so they were dancing. "You know what else makes me glad?"

"What?"

"Prongs told me he caught Jaclyn and Padfoot snogging in the coat room," Remus said quickly, then starting to laugh good-naturedly.

"Oh, Merlin, are you serious?" Jamie gasped, then joined in Remus's laughter. "They are going to be struck down."

"Most likely, yes," Remus grinned, pulling Jamie close so she could hear his heart beat.

As they stood there in the deserted church, no music to accompany their steps, they realized that they were lucky. They were two of the lucky people. They people who realized that love isn't just about the kissing, beautiful pictures, shagging, and whispering sweet-nothings to each other. No, it was also about the rows, angry words, tears, and the memories that are sometimes too bittersweet to bear. They knew that no matter how hard things might get down the road, they couldn't give up on the one thing that gave them the will to continue. And that, they knew, is the truest kind of love.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** This is rather short, but that's okay. I realize that having the wedding take place at a church infringes on the whole idea of whether or not religion has a place in Jo's world she's made. Personally, I think that it would have to somehow, since so many come from families with Muggles in them and we all know how Muggles are with religion. However, that's a whole big essay I don't think you want to read right now. (-:_

_Two wonderful things happen. The first being that I have the rest of this story completely mapped out. I used to have some foggy ideas and had the chapters figured for a while, but I didn't really have a lot of in-between things. Now, however, I know exactly how many chapters are going to be in LMBYD and what's going to go down. I'll just say that this will be around for a while. They second wonderful thing is I started another story, but it will be much shorter than this. I'd love it if you'd check it out – it's called "I Feel Good Enough." Since, you know, I just _had_ to write more._

_Anyways, this is long. Let me know what you think, lovelies!_


	35. Our Lives

_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Our Lives" by The Calling and I don't own nor claim it at all._

**  
Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-five: Our Lives**

_These are the days worth living  
These are the years we're giving  
And these are the moments  
These are the times  
Let's make the best time of our life_

"You're holding her wrong."

"No, Sirius, I'm not," Jaclyn replied in annoyance, pacing up and down the Lupins' sitting room with her screaming cousin leaning against her chest.

"Why is she crying, then?" Sirius asked from his seat on the sofa, his head turning to follow Jaclyn as she paced.

"If I knew that I'd do it so she'd stop crying," Jaclyn explained slowly, as though Sirius himself was a young child. "Wouldn't you think?"

"I suppose," Sirius nodded, then screwed up his face as Hannah let out a particularly loud wail.

"I can't handle this anymore," Jaclyn complained, then reached for her wand.

"What are you - "

_"Silentus,"_ Jaclyn said, pointing her wand at Hannah, who instantly fell silent, although her mouth was still wide open and eyes screwed shut.

Sirius looked at Jaclyn, quite dumbfounded. "I can't believe you did that."

"Do you have a better idea?" Jaclyn asked, giving him a sheepish look. "Besides, it won't last that long."

"Maybe she's hungry."

"Sirius, I _just_ gave her a bottle."

"Diaper?"

"Just checked."

Sirius furrowed his brow. The charm began to wear off slowly, Hannah's screams almost like a whisper. Jaclyn sighed deeply and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Any other ideas?"

Sirius and Jaclyn met eyes and he gave her a resigned look, extending his arms toward Jaclyn. "Fine, give her to me."

"You're my hero," Jaclyn grinned, hurrying to Sirius as Hannah's cries went to full volume.

Sirius laid the small baby in his arms and almost instantly her cries changed to sputters. Before long, she became completely silent, her large eyes looking up at Sirius.

"You've got to be joking," Jaclyn sat down next to them, a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Hannah likes me more than you," Sirius taunted in a singsong voice. "_Your_ cousin likes _me_ more than _you_."

"Shut your face," Jaclyn rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but be a bit amazed that Hannah was silent. She forced her gaze off them and looked across the room at a clock hanging above the mantel. "Hey - it's 11:11."

"So?" Sirius asked, following her gaze.

"You need to make a wish," Jaclyn looked back at Sirius.

Sirius gave Jaclyn a confused look before saying, "What are you talking about?"

"It's a Muggle thing my mum told me about," Jaclyn waved her hand distractedly. "Quick, just make a wish before it's over."

Jaclyn screwed her eyes shut and they both fell silent. After a moment or two, Jaclyn opened her eyes once more and saw that Sirius was looking down at Hannah.

"Did you make a wish?"

"Yes," Sirius nodded, meeting her eyes.

"What'd you wish for?" Jaclyn asked, not afraid to be nosy.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "It won't come true if I tell you. Isn't that how all of those Muggle things work?"

"Fine," Jaclyn shrugged, leaning back in the worn couch and pulling her feet underneath her so she was kneeling. "My wish was loads better than yours anyway."

Sirius smirked, knowing what she was pulling, but playing along nonetheless. "I'm willing to bet that it wasn't."

"Yeah, all right."

"Fine," Sirius snapped playfully. "Mine was about me, you, and being happy."

Jaclyn couldn't help but smile. "Is that so?"

"It is," Sirius nodded, falling silent again and staring ahead

Jaclyn waited for him to continue, but when it was obvious that she was going to have to work for this, she sighed as though it was a great chore. "Care to expand, darling?"

"You're ruthless," Sirius jerked back to look at her. "I wished that we'd be together forever, happy and content and all that cliché junk."

Jaclyn smiled, but then opened her eyes wide in alarm. "Great, Sirius, now you've gone and told me so it isn't going to come true."

"I think there's somewhere in the clause that states if the girlfriend whom the wish is about badgers the wisher, it's all right," Sirius nodded seriously, then gave her a grin.

"Oh, all right," Jaclyn grinned back, then leaned over to kiss him.

Sirius met her halfway, then remembered he had a baby in his lap. He looked down and saw that Hannah was fast asleep. He exchanged a smile with Jaclyn and carefully got to his feet.

"I'll lay her down."

Jaclyn watched as Sirius walked across the room and up the rickety staircase, careful not to jostle Hannah too much. She smiled at his care and then sighed deeply, glad to have him.

Remus and Jamie were due to return from their honeymoon around midnight, so Sirius and Jaclyn had volunteered to watch Hannah at their house to make it easier on them and Jamie's parents. It had been a fairly easy task as Hannah was a quiet baby, but she had become more restless as the night progressed. Sirius had joked that maybe Hannah had some Seer in her and that she knew her parents were coming home.

Jaclyn looked around the unfurnished sitting room. Except for an armchair, the sofa, a table, and the cabinet of potions, the room was quite bare. Jaclyn knew that Jamie was itching to decorate the house, but they couldn't afford it. She wished she could do something for Jamie, but with her job, she was hardly scraping enough to pay her half of the rent and help with groceries.

Suddenly, Sirius came barrelling down the staircase and, at the same time, the front door to the house was pushed open, revealing Remus and Jamie.

"You're back early," Jaclyn pointed out, seeing that it was just pushed 11:30.

"I'm never riding on the Knight Bus again," Jamie said simply, looking a bit green. "I don't know how anyone can do that."

"It's not _that_ bad," Remus rolled his eyes at her, but put a comforting hand behind her back nonetheless. He took the bag that she was carrying and set it next to his own.

"Is so," Jamie replied, then looked at Sirius and Jaclyn. "Where's my baby?"

"I just put her down," Sirius spoke up, jerking a thumb toward the upstairs.

"It seems your daughter likes Sirius more than me," Jaclyn got to her feet, walking over to where the others were standing.

Remus laughed. "Who would have guessed?"

"She wasn't any trouble, was she?" Jamie asked, looking worried. "My mum said she was an angel for her, which she normally is, but I was really worried the change in scenery would - "

"She was fine," Jaclyn rolled her eyes at her cousin's concerned babbling.

"Gracie is _always_ an angel," Remus stated.

"Love, if you keep calling her that, she's going to think it's her name," Jamie sighed.

"It's her middle name," Remus said simply, as though that was enough of an explanation.

"My middle name is Rae, but no one calls me that," Jamie replied playfully, running a hand across his back. "Should I start calling you John?"

"Anyways," Sirius interrupted, smirking at the couple. "It's getting late."

"We should be going," Jaclyn added.

"Thanks again," Jamie nodded, moving out of the way of the door so they could leave.

"Not a problem," Jaclyn smiled at them both.

They quickly bid farewell and Jamie and Remus were left alone in their house. There was an eerie silence between them and finally Remus broke it with a sigh and a stretch.

"Quite a change from James's cottage, hm?"

Jamie gave him a wane smile. They were unable to afford much of a honeymoon, so James had offered to let them spend a week at a cottage on the coast of France that he'd inherited from his parents. Jamie had spent a fair amount of time there while she and James were kids, so it had been a bit strange returning there as a married woman.

"It's home," Jamie shrugged, stepping toward him and putting a hand on either side of his hips. "I like it."

"Me, too," Remus nodded, leaning forward and kissing the top of her head. "I'm going to go take a shower. Wait up for me?"

"I'll see what I can do," Jamie smirked, following Remus up the stairs.

By the time Jamie had checked on Hannah to make sure she was all right, Remus was already in the shower. She quickly changed into a pair of pyjama pants and a tank top, then pulled her hair into a ponytail. Deciding to make use of her time, she wrenched one of their bags open to sort through their clothes for laundry and put their things away.

Jamie pulled out some robes and threw them onto a pile on the floor to be washed. She reached back into the bag and instead of finding more clothes, she pulled out a blue spiral bound notebook - Remus's journal.

Jamie looked down at the tattered book, biting her lip. At the same time, Cassie found her way into the room and sat down next to Jamie, expecting to be pet. Rather, Jamie looked at the cat.

"Should I read it?"

Cassie only watched Jamie expectantly, causing Jamie to bite her lip and furrow her brow.

"It is his own _private_ journal," Jamie continued talking to herself. "He deserves some privacy, right?"

Cassie meowed once.

"Then again, we're husband and wife now, aren't we?" Jamie asked Cassie, who began licking her paw. "No secrets and all of that?"

Jamie began to open the cover, then slapped it back shut. "Then again, we're also supposed to trust each other - meaning I know that he'd tell me everything he'd write in here and I wouldn't go snooping through his things."

With a resigned sigh, Jamie began to put the notebook back into the bag, but then froze. She brought it back to her lap and looked back at Cassie.

"But he has read to me from it before," she mused, settling down on the floor with her legs crossed. "Besides, people don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them from other people, right? You know, like a secret they don't want to tell, but want everyone to know."

Jamie looked down at Cassie again, as though awaiting approval. Realizing how ridiculous she was being, she sighed and said, "One entry."

Jamie flipped the book open randomly toward the back. _'He really has terrible handwriting,'_ she thought to herself, then began reading.

_"Stop it, Remus! Stop thinking so much, stop rationalizing and figuring it all out. How are you ever supposed to live if everything is planned, rationalized, and only done well thought out? Let your heart take the wheel occasionally. Let it choose what you want, because if you never give it that chance you may never find what you're looking for."_

Jamie raised an eyebrow, then saw that it was dated only a few days before he'd asked her to marry him. She flipped to a more recent entry and jumped when Cassie meowed again from at her knee.

"Don't look at me like that, Cassie," Jamie scolded, then looked back down at the journal.

_"Well, it's happened - we're married. Remus Lupin and Jamie Williams are now Mr. and Mrs. Remus and Jamie Lupin . I honestly didn't think this day would come some days, but I'm more than happy it did. We leave tomorrow for France and at the moment Jamie is showering. I love her so much. I can't believe how lucky I am. Now if only we _both_ would be able to get our dreams…"_

Jamie snapped the notebook shut, knowing she'd read too much. She swallowed hard and looked down at Cassie, who was rubbing her head against Jamie's knee. She began to scratch the cat's ears absentmindedly, thinking about the entry.

Yes, they had decided together that the best course of action was for Remus to give the money from Hogwarts back and for him to put his travelling on hold - at least for now. Jamie didn't want to see him give up his dream and he had said, at the time, at least, that he'd understood, but knew it had to be done. Remus had even brought up Jamie reapplying to be an Auror, but Jamie had said no, despite how badly she wanted to.

Was he having second thoughts? Jamie had no idea and wished that he'd come to her about these things, rather than writing about them. They were supposed to be _married_ for Merlin's sake.

Deciding to see what else he had written, Jamie began to open the notebook again, but as she did, the water turned off from the bathroom across the hall. Shocked, Jamie threw the book back into the notebook, lifted Cassie off the ground, and flopped onto their bed, trying her best to look nonchalant.

Jamie was gently stroking the cat and lying back on the bed when Remus entered the room, clad only in his towel, which was resting low on his hips.

"Now, that's more like it," Jamie smirked, pushing Cassie off her stomach as she sat up.

Remus smirked at her and closed the door gently behind him. The lights dimmed in the room until there was only a flickering candle on the bedside table.

"It's nice how that works," Jamie pointed out, edging toward the side of the bed as Remus walked toward her.

"Convenient," Remus smiled, sitting next to Jamie. He reached up and pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair so it fell around her shoulders. He gave her a satisfied look and echoed, "Now, _that's_ more like it."

Remus began to lean forward, but Jamie put a hand on his chest. He raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"You're not upset that you can't finish your book, are you?" Jamie asked point blank.

"What?" Remus asked, sitting up. "Where did that come from?"

"I was just curious," Jamie explained, looking guilty. "I don't want you to be unhappy."

"Jamie, we talked about this," Remus said sternly. "We agreed that this was for the best."

"And I still don't want you to be unhappy!" Jamie reiterated.

"Look, Jamie," Remus said kindly, reaching forward and cupping her chin so she had to meet his eyes. "While I do want to finish my book, it's more important for me to support my family. I can't write a book if we don't have a house."

"You promise?" Jamie asked. "I want you to be happy."

"And I _am_ happy," Remus sighed, getting to his feet, adjusting his towel around his waist as he walked to the bag Jamie had been digging in moments before.

After a moment, Remus leaned forward and pulled his journal out of the bag. He returned to where he had been sitting and opened to the entry that Jamie had been reading. Remus cleared his throat dramatically before reading aloud.

_"Now if only we _both_ would be able to get our dreams. However, I do know that we need to take it one day at a time. Jamie and I are strong and we only need each other to be happy - Gracie is a perk as well. I've never been happier and I don't know what I would do without my girls. Someday I'll finish my book, but for now, it isn't as important as my family._

_"Besides, life is never forever and things come only once. You have no idea how long you'll be able to keep things and you don't even know how long you'll get to live. However, so long as you know you've got something or someone that you love and cherish as much as I do Jamie, life is worth living. You see, one day, when you least expect it, that important thing in your life could be lost. You need to take care of the people you love because one day it just might be too late to take care of anything - or even see their smile."_

Remus shut the book and dropped it onto the ground. He gave Jamie a bit of an annoyed look before saying, "Read the entire entry next time."

"How did you - "

"You're my wife," Remus replied, although his tone was much softer than it had been. "I'm required to know such things."

Jamie gave Remus a sheepish look. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," Remus sighed, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Just ask me next time, all right?"

"All right," Jamie nodded in agreement.

"Now, are we going to shag or should I change into pyjamas?" Remus asked, a grin on his face.

"Well, I am awful tired," Jamie replied, a twinkle in her eye.

"We've been married a week and you're going to withhold sex?" Remus played along, looking shocked. "Why, I never."

Jamie laughed, then pulled Remus toward her, kissing him hard on the lips. He pushed her back onto the bed and pulled the comforter up around them. Remus pulled her tank top up over her head and tossed it across the room - his towel quickly following.

"I love you," Remus mumbled, his mouth nuzzled against her neck and travelling down her collarbone.

"Oh, I love you, too," Jamie sighed, unable to keep a smile off her lips.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Could this have taken any longer? I apologize for that. Things have been a bit crazy and random at home, so I haven't been a terrible lot of writing in general. Everything is going back to normal, though, so hopefully things will be more regular. Things are going to be speeding up awful quick here in LMBYD. But, you should know that this is the halfway mark. Yes, that's right – seventy chapters, kids. Craziness, I know. Aren't you excited to see what's to come? (-:_


	36. All I Want For Christmas Is You

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is by Mariah Carey and I do not, in any way, own it._

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-six: All I Want For Christmas Is You**

_I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you_

Humming quietly, Jamie paced the sitting room, Hannah in her arms and a bottle in one hand. Pausing slightly in front of the window, she watched as the snow fell lazily underneath the streetlamp across the street. She could also just barely make out the Muggle Christmas lights draped on a tree across the street. A small smile graced her lips. Christmas was certainly her favourite holiday – something that dated back to so many years before.

Jamie took a moment to muse at how much not just her life, but all of her friends' lives had changed so dramatically over the past year. Two couples were now married – one of them a family of three. She had lost her aunt and uncle and, obviously, James had lost both his parents. They were now making their way in the real world without Hogwarts to protect them. What more, the majority of them were in the midst of a war that many people weren't even aware was taking place.

Hannah suddenly hiccupped in her arms, jerking Jamie from her thoughts. Looking down, the young mother realized that the bottle was now empty. In one fluid motion that only comes with practice, Jamie managed to take the bottle out of Hannah's mouth and replace it with a pacifier before she even knew anything had happened.

After walking across the room, Jamie carefully placed her daughter into a carrying seat they'd received as a gift from her parents. She gingerly wrapped a soft blanket closer around Hannah, who was slowly drifting to sleep as her golden eyes struggled to stay open. Jamie watched her until she was completely gone before straightening up.

Releasing a small sigh, Jamie crossed her arms and stared at the Christmas tree Remus had surprised her with only a week prior. His mother had given them a whole score of ornaments – ones she swore Remus was in love with when he was younger. While he claimed it was untrue, he had still managed to tell Jamie a sentimental story about nearly every ornament before putting it on the tree. Smiling slightly at the memory, Jamie jumped when Remus called from the kitchen.

"You're awful quiet out there."

Jamie turned and widened her smile, looking at him over the half wall that separated the two rooms. He gave her a warm smile as he screwed the top on a bottle and placed it in the refrigerator. The two had asked their only wizarding neighbor, Magnolia Thresher, the older woman that lived across the street from them, to baby-sit while they went to Sirius and Jaclyn's flat for a small Christmas party. Once finished with the bottle, Remus turned back to Jamie, who had walked across the room and was leaning against the wall with her arms in front of her.

"Everything all right?" he asked, furrowing his brow slightly in concern.

Jamie smiled at him, tilting her head slightly. "Perfect."

"Are you sure?" Remus pressed, crossing the kitchen so he was in front of her with the half wall between them both. He put a hand on her cheek and ran his thumb gently across her soft skin.

"What could be wrong?" Jamie asked, meeting his eyes, letting her hand rest on his own.

"If I knew I wouldn't have asked," Remus joked, letting the fingers of his other hand run through her soft hair.

Jamie let her arms hang loosely at his hips and pulled him close. "Nothing is wrong," she promised. "I was just thinking about how much things have changed in only a year."

Remus chuckled, an arm wrapping tightly around her back and comfortingly rubbing her back. "They certainly have changed. What would you have said had I told you we'd be parents by now?"

"I'd have said you're nutters," Jamie said quite simply, smiling. "I can still hardly believe it, though."

"Neither can I," Remus admitted, pressing his lips against the top of his wife's head, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he straightened up again. "Now, come on," he said, backing away, but letting his arms rest on her upper arms. "Let's get ready, all right?"

* * *

"Peter, we're going to be late!" Lauren announced, knocking softly on the door to the bathroom in the flat she shared with him. "Is everything all right?" 

"Just fine," Peter called back, staring at his reflection in the small mirror that hung above the sink in said bathroom. He glanced around the room for a moment before adding, "Just give me a few more minutes, all right?"

"Fine," Lauren sighed, walking away from the bathroom and into their bedroom.

Lauren hated being late and she knew that they were going to be. Sitting down on the bed she shared with Peter every night, she fell backwards, feeling her shirt slide up her stomach a bit but not caring enough to pull it back down. She knew she was pouting, but she didn't care. She also knew that he probably knew she was pouting, but that was her full intention. He _knew_ how much she hated to be late.

Letting her head tilt, she stared at the window next to their bed. They couldn't afford curtains or, well, anything too extravagant for their flat, but she didn't really mind. Lauren loved knowing that she was living with Peter and that was enough for her – even if she'd never admit such things aloud, naturally.

"I'm sorry about that," Peter strode into the bedroom, looking more nervous that usual. "I just – are you all right?" he asked upon noticing her lying on the bed.

"Just fine," Lauren pulled herself into a sitting position, fixing her shirt and looking at him. "Are you ready to go?"

"In a few minutes - "

"Peter…"

"I need to talk to you about something first," he gave her a small smile, putting his hands up in protest.

"All right, fine," Lauren sighed, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall and seeing that they were nearly fifteen minutes late as it was. "What is it?"

Trying to push past the fact that she was deterring him slightly, Peter sat down on the bed next to Lauren. He turned his body to face her, his blue eyes meeting her brown. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, biding some time, only to make Lauren let out an impatient sigh.

"Lauren, I love you," Peter said simply.

She raised an eyebrow at this, unsure of what she was to expect. "I love you, too – you know that."

Peter took a moment to pause, trying to remember what it was James had told him to say. Damn – he had thrown the letter into the fire so Lauren wouldn't see it and, while he had had it memorized earlier that day, he couldn't remember any of it for the life of him.

When he didn't say any more, Lauren interrupted. "Peter, is there more you need to say, because I think we should - "

"Will you marry me?" Peter burst out, making her stop talking. Remembering the ring, he dug into the pockets of his robes quickly, finding the small box and holding it out to her.

Stunned, Lauren only stared at him for a few moments, hardly even realizing that the box was open and inside was a sparkling diamond ring. Her mouth moved wordlessly, trying to grasp the situation but being far from able to.

Finally, she managed, "Are you serious?" in a very quiet voice.

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but shut it before any sound came out. This wasn't going anything like he had hoped it would. He closed the box wordlessly, trying to understand why he was so daft when Lauren put a hand on his arm.

"Peter, no, you don't understand," she said quickly, pleading with him with her eyes. "I was just surprised. I really wasn't expecting this."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Peter asked weakly, hoping that she'd just say yes. It would be horribly embarrassing to have to explain to his mates that she'd said no – especially since he had already told them she'd said yes. He had been hoping a situation would arise that would make the question easier to ask, but Peter had quickly ran out of time.

"Of course I'll marry you," Lauren replied in a quiet tone, giving him a small smile.

"Really?" Peter asked, a bit surprised as his eyes widened.

Lauren let out a small chuckle before saying, "Yes, really."

As his face split into a wide grin, Peter opened the box once again and pulled the gold ring out. He held it up to Lauren, who took it carefully and slid it onto her left ring finger. Smiling, she leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asked after backing away, holding her hand out in front of her fondly.

"Yes, we can go now," Peter nodded, a pleased look of disbelief still on his face.

* * *

"Jamie, will you help me put on this absolutely gorgeous diamond necklace that Sirius gave me for Christmas?" Jaclyn asked with a grin, holding the delicate chain up to her cousin. "I'm afraid that I just cannot manage the clasp." 

Rolling her eyes, Jamie leaned forward and took the chain, bringing it around Jaclyn's neck. "Maybe I should just strangle you with it," Jamie joked, closing the clasp and dropping her hands. "There you are."

"Thank you," Jaclyn gave her a coy smile. "It was awful kind of you to help me put on the gorgeous diamond - "

"If you say that one more time I'm going to take it back, love," Sirius called from across the room, where he was filling his glass of wine – again.

" – necklace," Jaclyn whispered to Jamie before widening her smile into a grin.

"Go away," Jamie laughed, pushing her away softly as she finished off her wine. She hadn't drunk any sort of alcohol in a long time and the wine had quickly gone to her head. It was a rather nice feeling, though, as she knew one of her friends would manage her into the Floo properly.

Jaclyn got to her feet and staggered away toward Sirius, landing squarely on his lap and kissing him softly. James, who was talking to Sirius, shook his head slightly and smiled before getting to his feet and walking over toward where Jamie was sitting. He reached a hand out to her, beckoning for her to take it.

"What?" Jamie asked, feigning as though she didn't understand.

"Oh, come on," James rolled his eyes, shaking his hand slightly.

Jamie expelled a long sigh and gave him a smile before taking it and allowing him to pull her to her feet. "Where are we going?"

"I just have to talk to you about something," James shrugged as he led her by the hand out of the sitting room, where their friends were all talking.

The two cousins eventually made it to the guest room that Remus and Jamie had shared the Christmas previous. James sat down on the bed and invited Jamie to sit next to him. When she did, she gave him a concerned look.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing bad," James assured her quickly, falling back into the bed.

Following his lead, Jamie fell next to him. She turned her head to look at him. "All right?"

"We finally got around to going over my parents' will," he started slowly, rolling slightly so he was propped up on his side. "I had meant to do it earlier, but what with Auror training and Order business…you get the idea."

Jamie nodded, her brow furrowed. "And?"

"My mum and dad left me everything," James said quickly.

"Well, that would make sense," Jamie nodded slowly, her brow still furrowed. "What with you being their only child and all."

"I know," James nodded, before letting out a sigh. "I was a bit surprised, I guess. You were as much a child to them as I was."

"But I'm their niece, James. I didn't expect anything."

"I know," he repeated, sighing once again.

Jamie watched him silently for a few seconds, trying to understand what was going on. "James, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is _wrong_, I guess," he admitted, meeting her eyes. "I want you to have some of the money."

"Oh, James - "

"Before you start protesting," James interrupted, "I should add that I'm not going to take no for an answer."

"James, that's your money," Jamie rolled so she was on her side as well. "I couldn't do that."

"But I want you to have some it," James argued. "Please?"

"Why do you want me to have the money, James?"

James let out a breath. "Well, you deserve it, first of all. Second, you're my cousin and I know you and Remus are hurting - "

"We're getting along fine," Jamie lied, her mind darting to the money she had owled her mum about borrowing just so they could feed Hannah. Remus was having trouble keeping down a job after getting fired from the Leaky Cauldron for needing too much time off for the full moon. However, he had an interview at a Muggle bookstore that he was hoping would be more likely for him to keep, as Muggles were less likely to put two and two together when it came to his monthly disappearances.

"No, you're not," James shook his head. "You don't have to lie to _me_ of all people."

"James - "

"Jamie, I don't want to argue with you about this," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know you don't want to take the money, but I really wish you'd at least think about it."

"You know Remus would think of it as charity money," Jamie said solemnly. "He almost didn't want to take the money your mum gave us for the house."

"But if you say it was left to you?"

Jamie fell onto her back. He really wasn't going to say no for an answer, was he. Staring at the ceiling, she thought it over. They really were in need of money, but she hadn't thought James had noticed. Both Remus and Jamie were pretty good at pretending everything was all right, but they were late on their rent and their cupboards were more than a little bare.

"I guess," Jamie finally decided on. "But, James, not a lot, all right?"

"I was going to give you half - "

"Hell, James!" Jamie turned her head, her eyes wide, knowing just how much money the Potter family happened to have. "That's a lot of money, love."

"Fine, fine," James chuckled. "We'll figure something out."

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask," Jamie said suddenly, giving James a questioning look. "Would you mind if I went through some of your mum's photo albums?"

"Of course," James nodded. "What do you need them for?"

"Miriam from work has turned me into a scrapbooker," Jamie explained with a smile. "I just did mine and Remus's wedding and I wanted to find some pictures of us from when we were younger."

"That'd be just fine," James agreed as the door opened.

The two on the bed looked up to see Remus staggering slightly at the door, looking around a bit. James shot Jamie a smile before sitting up.

"Moony, you look lost."

"I'm just fine, Prongs," Remus answered, a grin on his face as he fell onto the bed.

"I'll take that as my leave," James pulled himself to his feet and started toward the door. Before leaving, he nodded to Jamie, "Don't forget what I said."

"All right, James," she replied, returning his nod as he left, closing the door behind him.

"What'd James say?" Remus asked, closing his eyes for a moment as he put a hand to his forehead.

"Nothing we need to talk about right now," Jamie replied, reaching forward and pulling a hand through his hair. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Just fine," Remus smiled, opening his eyes and pulling her forward by her upper arm so he could kiss her softly. "I think I may have drank too much wine, but it's Christmas."

"That it is," Jamie laughed, pulling away from him, aiming to be a bit of a brat. "You recognize this room, I hope?"

Remus pouted slightly as Jamie rolled away from him, leaving a few feet between the both of them. "How could I forget? Some good things happened in this bedroom almost a year ago, as I recall."

"Indeed," Jamie nodded, pulling off her shrug so she was left on her deep red dress. "Our daughter came to be in this bedroom."

"This is quite true."

"I'm glad you didn't forget."

"As am I."

"I wonder if Sirius can even come in this room."

"I doubt it, knowing him."

"What are you going to do about that?"

Remus paused, bringing a hand to his neck to loosen his tie and eventually pull it off over his head. He threw it aside, his eyes on Jamie's, as he slowly began to unbutton his white shirt. There was a small smirk on his lips as she pushed off her heels, kicking them off the bed. Once he finally had the shirt pulled out of his pants and hanging loosely, he crawled across the bed and settled above her.

"Think we can do this sort of thing at a Christmas party?" Remus asked before softly nibbling on her earlobe, one of his hands running slowly down her bare upper arm.

"I honestly think that they would be disappointed if we didn't," Jamie whispered, bringing a hand to his hair and curling her fingers behind his head.

"Do you really?" Remus asked, purposefully kissing her neck and traveling down to her shoulder, where he pushed her strap out of the way.

Jamie let out a sigh before saying, "Oh, yes," and softly letting one of her legs run along his inner thigh.

At her touch, Remus let out a low groan against her shoulder and brought his face to her own, capturing her mouth in a deep kiss. His hands began to explore her body and eventually managed to get underneath her, where he started to fumble with the zipper of her dress.

When he finally worked it open, Jamie allowed him to slowly push it down, all the while running her hands down his chest and continuing the kiss.

Finally, Remus surfaced and said, "Jamie, I love you so much."

Jamie pulled him back to her body, kissing him hard and longingly. She broke the kiss for only a few seconds, in which she said, "Merlin, I love you, too," and pulling him back to her.

* * *

_**Author's Note: ** So, I realize that this has taken, hm, forever. But, well, my real life kind of exploded the past few months and that really has to come before my fanfiction, sadly. However! I will be working hard to get back into the swing of things because I really want to finish this story – and my other ones, for that matter. Besides, things are about to get interesting and, well, I'd like to go there. So, think of this as a Christmas present? I don't know._

_Also, I was going to end the chapter before Remus came into the room, but my lovely friends said they'd be horribly disappointed if there wasn't any softcore smut..so they got a little. (: Deal with it, y'all._

_Anyways, merry Christmas or whatever it is you might celebrate! Please let me know what you thought._


	37. Wings of a Butterfly

_**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "Wings of a Butterfly" is by HIM and I do not, in any way, own it._**  
**

**Let Me Be Your Downfall  
Chapter Thirty-seven: Wings of a Butterfly**

_Heaven ablaze in our eyes  
We're standing still in time_

"She seemed glad to see me when I appeared in the kitchen, and by watching her I began to think there was some skill involved in being a girl…"

James leaned his head back, basking in his wife's voice as she read aloud to him, her head propped up against his thigh. He absent-mindedly ran his fingers through her hair, smiling briefly at the softness of her dark red hair against his coarse fingers. He knew just how lucky he was to have her - to be able to wrap his arms around her and call him his own.

As James let his gaze drift out through the small gap between the closed curtains in their front sitting room, he saw that there was a flurry of late February snow blowing past the front of their house. It had been a cold winter and he hoped that it would warm up soon. While James loved Christmas and much of what came with winter, he couldn't wait for it to be spring.

Below him, Lily cleared her throat slightly before falling back into the passage she was reading. It had been her idea to start this tradition. The two of them would spend a few hours every Saturday afternoon with her reading to him. While James wasn't terribly fond of the sort of literature she chose - why didn't they write _normally_, really? - he just enjoyed spending time with her and didn't complain. With his Auror training and her work schedule at The Daily Prophet on top of Order business, the two rarely had time to just relax together.

Lily continued to read for a few more moments before she stopped, bringing James back down to earth. He glanced down at the book and saw that she had finished a chapter.

"I think that's enough for today," Lily gave a nod, dog-earing the page slightly and closing it on her lap. It was "To Kill A Mockingbird," which was one of Lily's personal favourites. She let out a long sigh before glancing up at James's face.

"Something wrong?" James asked quietly, pushing her dark red hair out of her face gently.

Lily pursed her lips together and shook her head slowly before saying, "Not really. I was just thinking about the similarities between this book and everything we are going through right now."

Suddenly, James wished he had been paying attention to her reading. He swallowed hard and decided to play this off as best he could. "How so?"

Hesitating for a brief moment, Lily began to speak slowly, her brow furrowed slightly. "Racists and blood elitists have a lot of similarities, is all. They are both so willing to judge people for things they cannot control - be it the colour of their skin or their ancestry."

James nodded slowly. "You're right, of course."

"It makes me so sick, James," Lily continued, reaching for one of his arms to wrap it around herself tightly in a protective manner. "Why are people like that? Why should such things really matter? I don't understand."

"I don't understand it either," James said quietly, letting the fingers of his other hand slowly run through her hair. He paused, watching the contrasting colours of her hair and his skin for a moment before continuing. "Honestly, people are just completely nutters. They don't understand that those things are uncontrollable and it isn't fair to punish people for things they can't do anything about. They feel this daft sense of superiority because they're inbred and it's just wrong."

"You're pureblood," Lily spoke up, glancing to meet his eyes.

"I am," James nodded with a small smile. "And so is Jamie and Sirius, but we aren't daft like the lot of them."

"Well, you're certainly daft," Lily cracked a smile for a moment before letting it fade into almost a sad grimace. "It's all so frustrating."

"I know it is," James sighed, letting out the breath slowly. "That's why we're saving the world, love."

The two fell silent for a moment, enjoying each other's presence and warmth. After a bit, Lily cleared her throat again and in an almost playful voice she asked, "James, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Will you still love me when I'm pregnant and fat?"

James let out a chuckle and shook his head slowly before saying, "Of course, I will." He paused and his eyes widened. "Wait, you're not pregnant, are you?"

Lily shook her head and let out a small laugh. "No, I'm not. However, you look as though that would be a bad thing."

"Of course it wouldn't be a bad thing," James tried to save himself quickly. "I was only surprised."

"Naturally," Lily replied with a smile still on her lips. She fell silent for a bit again before asking, "Will you still love me when I'm old and saggy?"

James let out a scoff before asking, "Should I smack you now or later?"

Lily looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you smacking me?"

"Because you're asking daft questions," James said simply with a smirk. "I'm always going to love you - no matter what."

"That's good," Lily smiled slowly, pulling herself up slightly. "It seems I've grown rather attached to you, as it were, and you're stuck with me."

James chuckled softly as he brought his face to her own, kissing her lightly before saying, "Drat, whatever will I do?"

Lily grinned before pushing herself into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. However, just as she was about kiss him, the clock above the mantle began to sound, although it was neither on the hour or any of the quarter hours. Lily straightened up and looked at it in confusion for a moment as it didn't sound off very often before she looked at James.

Giving her an apologetic look, James carefully and gently pushed Lily out of his lap and crossed the room to wave his hand in front of the clock. After a moment, the face disappeared off of it and was replaced with small print. James leaned forward to read what it said and let out a long sigh.

"Attack at Diagon Alley," James said simply, looking at Lily and waving his wand once again to bring the face back to normal. "Dumbledore wants everyone."

"All right," Lily nodded once, getting to her feet and hurrying across the sitting room to where there was a coat rack that held two robes for such an occasion. She pulled off her own and extended her arm to her husband to hand him his.

James hurriedly shrugged the robes on, gripping his wand in his right hand and preparing to Apparate. Before he did, though, he held out a hand and placed it on Lily's shoulder, just like every time they go on a call of some sort. "If anything happens - "

"James, I know," Lily interrupted.

"Just know - "

"I already do."

James fell silent and pulled her forward, kissing her lightly and letting it linger for a moment before pulling away. "I love you."

"I love you," Lily replied, swallowing hard.

"Let's go."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm getting _married_," Lauren breathed, looking down at the ring as she led Jamie down Diagon Alley. "We all expected you and Remus and Lily and James, but me? Never in a thousand years."

"It's been nearly two months and you still haven't come to grips with it?" Jamie asked with a playful smile.

"It's unbelievable," Lauren shook her head slowly, swinging her purchases slightly in one hand. "This is the place."

Jamie looked up at the sign that hung above the window of the building Lauren stopped in front of and read "Annabelle's Café." Raising an eyebrow Jamie asked, "How long has it been open?"

"Just a few weeks," Lauren shrugged, pulling the door open and motioning for Jamie to go ahead. "Peter and I were here the other day for a lunch date and they have the most amazing chicken soup."

"All right," Jamie nodded, ducking through the door and following Lauren to a booth in front of the window. She watched for a moment as the snow lazily fell down from the February sky and she let out a soft sigh before returning her attention to Lauren. "Have you and Peter set a date yet?"

"We're not sure exactly, but we both think that June of 1980 would be best," Lauren started slowly, looking a bit thoughtful.

"Longer engagement than Lily and James at least," Jamie smiled.

Lauren nodded. "I told him right out I wanted our engagement to be at least a year. My mum is completely thrilled, though, so that's exciting. Usually it takes hell or high water to get her to show some enthusiasm about anything. Daphne already agreed to be my maid-of-honour - at least she'll have finished with Hogwarts and we won't have to work around her schedule."

Jamie nodded as the server came. She had already agreed ahead of time to let Lauren order for her as this lunch date was her idea, so Jamie let her gaze drift out the window once more. It was eerily quiet down the street, which she decided probably had to do with the fact most everyone was at work. Remus was home with Hannah and Jamie had just finished work before she met Lauren. She was glad to have the break away from home as things had gotten rather monotonous - not that she was complaining. Jamie just liked being able to enjoy someone's company other than her husband from time to time.

Finally, Jamie was jerked from her thoughts as Lauren cleared her throat. Turning back to look at her, Jamie gave her friend a bit of an apologetic smile before commenting, "Weddings are exciting things. Hopefully you'll be more organized than Remus and I." She chuckled slightly as she recalled the rush in the week before as they realized they weren't nearly ready.

Lauren nodded with a smile. "I'm hoping so, too. In fact - wait, is that your watch?"

Jamie furrowed her brow slightly before looking down at her wrist at the plain, black banded watch that was on her wrist. She hadn't even noticed that it was beeping and glowing until Lauren pointed it out. Swiftly, she found her wand and waved it over it once, tiny print appearing on the face. With a small sigh, Jamie brought the watch closer to her face before she outright gasped.

"Lauren, you cannot under any circumstance leave this restaurant," Jamie said simply, getting to her feet. "Do not leave and don't let anyone else leave, do you understand?"

Not even waiting for a response, Jamie shouted to the people in the restaurant, "No one leave! It is very important that you all stay in here for your own safety. Do _not_ leave the restaurant!"

She ignored the strange looks and mutterings she received because of this before giving Lauren one more very meaningful look. Lauren was staring wide-eyed at her, not completely comprehending what was happening. "I'll come back for you. I promise."

Lauren nodded slowly and that was enough for Jamie. Turning on her heel, she hurried out of the front door of the restaurant and was greeted with a shrill scream on the clear opposite end of Diagon Alley. Not knowing what else to do, Jamie pulled her wand out of her black robes and took off at a run against the people who were trying to make it in the direction Jamie was coming from.

Taking a deep breath, Jamie surveyed the scene before her - there was a crowd of people in black robes, their faces hidden by white masks. She couldn't tell what they were doing, but she knew full well that it wasn't good. It was surreal. It was as though time had slowed down and the people bustling around her were moving slow motion. They weren't supposed to be here. Not now. Not with so many people around.

Preparing herself to spout out some sort of hex - she didn't even know what she could use that could help her - Jamie was cut short when she nearly toppled over a young red-haired boy, who looked to be around five-years-old. Her heart froze and broke instantly when she saw the frightened look on his face and that he was silently crying.

"I can't find my mum!" he announced to her, glancing around frantically. "She - she was right here a minute ago and - "

Unable to see anyone but Hannah, Jamie took hold of the boy's hand and hoisted him onto her hip. Letting herself fall into the waning crowd of people that were trying to get away from the attack, Jamie took off at a bit of a run, the boy burying his face in the crook of her shoulder and neck so she could feel his tears against her skin. Jamie didn't know if this sort of thing was frowned upon regarding the Order. Was she supposed to be fighting the Death Eaters only? She had a feeling Dumbledore wouldn't mind.

Slowing her pace, Jamie looked around and finally hurried into an alleyway. It was empty and, with a quick glance over her shoulder, she saw that people were still running by. Swiftly, she pushed the top of an empty dumpster open and set the young boy inside of it.

"Love, you need to stay in here," Jamie told him quietly, glancing back at the opening to the alley. "Promise me you'll stay here until I come back for you?"

"Don't leave me here," he said in an almost pitiful whimper, his eyes filling with tears again as he fell to his knees in one of the corners. "Please don't leave me alone."

Jamie swallowed hard, glancing down the alley once again. She should fight. She was in Diagon Alley - who knew how long it would take for anyone else to show. However, one more look at the pleading brown eyes that were just a few shades different from her daughter's made up her mind. Taking a deep breath, she heaved herself into the dumpster and she let the top crash down above her.

Finding her wand, Jamie muttered, _"Lumos,"_ before she was taken a bit off guard as the boy crawled into her lap.

"I'm scared," he admitted, making Jamie think that if all people had the same sort of naïve mentality that five-year-olds did, maybe there wouldn't be people being attacked and killed just down the road.

"Don't worry," Jamie assured him, letting her free hand pat his back softly. "We'll be just fine."

The boy sniffed loudly and asked, "How do you know?"

"My friends are out there and they wouldn't let anyone get hurt," Jamie sighed, taking a deep breath, hoping that she was right. "My name is Jamie - will you tell me your name?"

"Charlie," the boy replied, his voice muffled as his face was buried into her shoulder again.

"Charlie, do you have any brothers or sisters?" Jamie asked, taking a wild stab out of nowhere as she tried to get the boy's mind off what was going on outside of the dumpster and toward something else. She was worrying enough for the both of them.

When Charlie nodded she asked, "Will you tell me about them?"

* * *

Remus continued pacing up and down the sitting room of headquarters, a worried hand buried in his hair as he did so. He had been putting Hannah down for a nap when the clock sounded and, luckily, Magnolia Thresher had been outside letting her dog out. After he had flagged her down and she agreed to watch Hannah for a few hours, Remus had Apparated straight to headquarters. 

Glancing at the clock impatiently, Remus flopped into an armchair. When they had agreed to join the Order, Jamie and Remus had made an agreement with Dumbledore that they both wouldn't go on any sort of calls or missions at the same time unless it was absolutely necessary. That way they wouldn't have to worry about Hannah being without either parents or anything that _could_ happen - even if they hoped beyond hope that sort of thing wouldn't come about.

Taking a deep breath, Remus stole a glance at Peter, who had been at headquarters when he'd arrived. They hadn't spoken to each other yet, but they were both painfully aware of the fact that the women in their lives were at Diagon Alley together. What worse, one of them didn't believe that this sort of thing would happen to them.

Suddenly, there was a very distinct pop in the foyer, causing both Remus and Peter to look up. Neither of them knew what had happened or what the news would be, but they wanted to know it nonetheless - no matter how gruesome it could be.

"Remus?" came Jamie's voice - obviously near tears - causing Remus to jump to his feet and go at a near run out of the sitting room and into the foyer.

"Jamie?" Remus called back, hurrying to where she was. He was only slightly taken aback to see her holding a young boy before asking, "What happened?"

"This is Charlie Weasley," she said in a strained voice, obviously trying to control herself and nearly failing. Her face fell when she saw Peter walk into the foyer as well, a confused look upon his face. "He's Gideon and Fabian's nephew."

"All right?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow a bit as she set Bill to the ground, only for him to latch onto her arm.

"I saw one of them before we Apparated, so I thought I'd bring him here," Jamie continued, her voice becoming more and more strained as she talked. She suddenly turned and looked at Peter. "Could you take him upstairs, Peter? To one of the bedrooms - at least until one of them makes it back to headquarters?"

"Of course," Peter agreed, but not before giving Jamie one more questioning look. He reached forward for Charlie, but the boy latched onto Jamie's leg, his face sceptical.

Letting out a bit of a sigh, Jamie lowered herself to one knee and looked Charlie straight in the eye. "Love, this is my good friend Peter. I promise you that he won't do anything to hurt you. Will you go upstairs with him?" When the boy didn't react, Jamie ran a hand through her hair and added. "I promise I'll be up in a bit with some cookies. Would that be all right?"

Charlie considered for a moment before backing away from Jamie. He nodded once and Peter led him out of the foyer and toward the staircase. As soon as they were out of the room, Jamie turned and gave Remus an exasperated look.

"You shouldn't have brought him here," Remus said in a quiet voice, taking a step toward her.

Ignoring him, Jamie sidestepped her husband and walked into the sitting room. Not knowing what else to do, Remus followed her into the room, growing a bit impatient.

"Dumbledore probably - "

He stopped short when Jamie turned after he closed the door to the sitting room, her eyes filled with tears. His eyes wide, he asked, "Jamie, what's going on?"

"I promised her, Remus," she managed, hurrying forward and burying her face into his chest.

Instinctively, Remus wrapped his arms around Jamie, not knowing what to say. He had no idea as to what she was talking about. "Promised who?"

"Lauren," Jamie managed, straightening up to meet Remus's eyes. "Remus, I _promised_ I'd come back for her. I _promised_."

Remus had an idea as to what she was getting on about and it felt as though his entire outsides were frozen. _'Bloody hell.'_

"Instead, I stayed with that boy," she continued slowly, not able to look Remus in the eye. "I should have helped - done something. Instead I stayed in a dumpster with - "

"You did what you could," Remus assured her, wanting desperately to find out what had happened with Lauren, but knowing well enough to let her babble until she said it herself.

However, before she could say anything else, there were a few more pops in the foyer and the sitting room door swung open, allowing Lily, James, Sirius, and Fabian to rush into the room. They were all a tattered mess, looking quite shocked and scandalized. Fabian looked around the room before turning to Jamie.

"Where is Charlie? I need to take him to Molly," he asked, looking a bit frightened.

"In the upstairs bedroom with Peter," Remus responded for Jamie when she didn't say anything. He tightened his arms around her as Fabian hurried out of the room without another word.

After a long silent moment, Jamie mumbled, "Where's Jaclyn?"

"She stayed in case she needed to, you know," Lily replied quietly, sinking into an armchair.

"Identify a body," Sirius finished her sentence, looking quite grim as he did so.

The five friends fell silent until finally Remus asked, "What happened?"

The four looked at each other, willing one of the others to begin until finally James began, "There was an attack on Diagon Alley."

"That much I know," Remus gave him a wry look.

"It was just a bloody rampage," Sirius shook his head slowly in disgust. "They didn't care who they hexed - Muggleborn, pureblood, whatever. They were out for blood."

"They started at Gringotts and just kept going until finally the Aurors arrived and they Apparated," Lily continued in a quiet voice, her eyes wide in terror. "They stopped at that new café - I forget what it's called - "

"Annabelle's Café," Jamie supplied as Remus made her sit next to him on the sofa, his arms still wrapped around her.

"That's the one," Lily nodded.

"Before one of them Apparated, they did some hex that basically made the entire restaurant burst into flames," James finished, looking at the ground. "It was as though a Muggle bomb had gone off."

Jamie dropped her jaw, a gasp leaving her throat. They looked at her curiously before she said slowly, "That's where Lauren and I were eating. I - I told all of the people to stay."

They were quiet for a moment before James started slowly, "That's what you're supposed to do. You did the right thing Jamie."

"But, Lauren - "

"You had no idea that that was going to happen," James said firmly, crossing the room and giving her a stern look. The two cousins stared at each other for a moment until Sirius cleared his throat and broke the moment.

"She could be fine," Lily tried to add hope to the situation, although her voice betrayed the sentiment.

The friends fell silent until there was one final pop in the entry. They all looked at the door hopefully as Jaclyn walked slowly into the room. Any hope that Lily's statement might have given to the situation went out as the young woman walked straight to Sirius and wrapped her arms around him.

Knowing that it had to be said, Sirius managed in a questioning voice, "Is…?"

Jaclyn nodded into his chest, causing Lily to gasp and Remus to turn Jamie around and wrap his arm around her tightly. She buried her face into Remus's shoulder, hardly making a noise and feeling an internal battle quickly begin to rage within her. One of her best friends was dead and, while she rationally knew it wasn't true, she couldn't help but feel as though it was her fault.

"What's going on?" Peter walked into the room looking confused. His eyes searched each of his friends' faces - all of them having no idea what to do or say.

"Peter, mate - " Sirius started before his voice faded away. Peter's eyes widened, mentally realizing that Sirius hadn't called him Wormtail for the first time since they had picked up those silly nicknames. His stomach shifted within him.

"What's going on?" he asked again, his voice a bit stronger despite that he was beginning to expect the worst.

"Pete, c'mon," James said suddenly, swallowing hard and beckoning him back out of the room.

It grew quiet once again. Lily sat next to Jamie and Remus on the couch and leaned against her best mate. They could just barely hear the undertones of the conversation James and Peter were having. Jamie welcomed the tightening of Remus's arms around her and, when the pained shout of disbelief echoed through the headquarters, she closed her eyes and cried.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** HAI THAR. Good reason that this took me months. Want to know what it is? I broked my laptop and I had this nicely finished chapter on it and just recently got it back. It was good stuff, actually. Best Buy and myself thought that it was something internally wrong but it ended up being just my power cord. But..hey! I didn't have to pay to get a new one, so I'm happy._

_Anyways, this is a sad chapter and I am going to be finishing this. I just haven't been able to write anything when I had no laptop because that's where my everything was for this. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!_


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